STREET JOURNAL 44

Standard

By Tom H. Brooks 3

MUSIC FROM A DISTANT ROOM………………………………………………………………………….

______________
I LOVE PARAPHRASING
______________
“I speak of the City
built by the dead,
inhabited by their stern ghosts,
ruled by their despotic memory,
the abstract State and its
concrete police,
I speak of towers, bridges,
tunnels, hangars, wonders and disasters,
the shops that have everything,
where we spend everything,
and it all turns to smoke–
I speak of the paralytic slum,
the cracked wall, the dry fountain,
the graffitied statue,
I speak of garbage heaps
the size of mountains, and of
melancholy sunlight filtered by smog.
I speak of dawns like a flight
of herons on the lake,
and the sun of transparent wings
that lands on the rock foliage
of churches, and the twittering
of light on the glass stalks
of the palaces,
I speak of certain afternoons
in the early fall,
waterfalls of immaterial gold,
the transformation of this world,
when everything loses its body,
everything is held in suspense.
I speak of the summer,
of the slow night that grows
on the horizon like a mountain of
smoke, and bit by bit it crumbles,
falling over us like a wave,
the elements are reconciled,
night has stretched out,
and its body is the powerful
river of sudden sleep,
we rock in the waves of
its breathing, the hour is
tangible, we touch it like fruit,
I speak of nomadic
clouds, and of a thin music
that lights a room on
the fifth floor,
and a murmur of laughter
in the middle of the night
like water that flows far-off
through roots and grasses.
Is that music coming closer
or receding, are those pale lights
just lit or going out?
space is singing, time has vanished;
it is the gasp, it is the glance
that slips through the blank wall,
it is the wall that stays silent,
the wall,
I speak of our public history, and
of our secret history, yours and mine.
I speak of the forest of stone,
the desert of the prophets, the
ant-heap of souls, the congregation
of tribes, the house of mirrors, the
labyrinth of echoes–
I speak of the great murmur that
comes from the depths of time, the
incoherent whisper of nations uniting or
splitting apart, the wheeling of multitudes,
the dull sound of bones falling into the pit of history.
I speak of the City,
shepherd of the centuries,
mother that gives birth to us
and devours us,
that creates us and forgets…”
Octavio Paz
____________
You may be able to take me out of California,
but you can`t take the California out of me…
____________
LOVE….what a beautiful illusion…….
____________
“All these inexplicable events that have occurred in my life so far–the way I became swept up in this strange work I do–it`s as though
they were all ingeniously programmed from the start for the very purpose of bringing me here, where I am today.  It`s a thought I can`t
seem to shake off.  I feel as though my every move is being controlled by some incredibly long arm that`s reaching out from somewhere
far away, and that my life has been nothing more than a convenient passageway for all these things moving through it…”
Haruki Murakami
_____________
“Coming down the mountain!
One of many children…
Everybody has their own opinion…
holding it back, hurts so bad!
Cash in now….cash in now, baby…”
Jane`s Addiction
______________
“People don`t always send messages in order to communicate the truth, just as people don`t always
meet others in order to reveal their true selves.  Do you grasp my meaning, Mr. Okada?”
Haruki Murakami
______________
A bar………THE DIRTY SANCHEZ
______________
BROKEN ANGEL
______________
Quincy St. and Downing in Bedford-Stuyvesant……….what the FUCK am I doing here?
______________
WKCR 89.9
Bix Beiderbecke  (sounds like SPIDERBACK)
legendary and amazing 1920s jazz  “Louisiana” and so many more great tunes…..
3/10/06…….24 hours worth…..I had it on all fucking day and night…..
______________
“I feel as though many others just like me have passed here before…
and many will be walking forever after, in different times, different ages,
like time travelers caught in one frozen universal second.”
Peter Sis
“The Three Golden Keys”
A Parable of a Sort………
_____________
“Sometimes I read papers from years ago, and I feel that the past has come back to haunt me.  I`m lonelier now.
Little by little, we all get lonelier.  All the women I`ve loved, I`ve left behind.  The places I was happy.  Children
move on.  All my friends.  Everything I once had and is now lost.  Things I wanted to preserve but tossed overboard
instead.  And I catch myself writing as if the end is near.  And god won`t help me cleanse my soul and accept
everything as it is.”
Pedro Juan Gutierrez
“The Dirty Havana Trilogy”
_______________
I said it before and I say it again…..LISTEN to Neil Diamond`s song, Hell Yeah……
It is a profound song with great lyrics and you can tell it was written by an older man who has LIVED his life….
_______________
Sunday 3/12/06
Everybody on the subway seems REALLY lost today…and not even bright enough to ask ME for directions….
_______________
It is beautiful when the top of the Empire State building up 5th Avenue is shrouded in mist….lost in the clouds, so to speak…
_______________
“The more thrilling, wonderful, divine objects I behold in a day,
the more expanded and immortal I become.”
Henry David Thoreau
________________
LET`S DO THE “LA THING” AND EXCHANGE
CELL NUMBERS AND NEVER CALL EACH OTHER…
________________
MORE FUN THAN A BARREL OF MONKEYS
________________
bone white
scraps
of paper
whirling
in lazy circles
in the blood-red
sunset darkness
of the alley
outside my window
like springtime
snowflakes
on a devil wind
Shadows
without reason
without form
intangible mysteries
images
of struggle
of the fight
to breathe
to live
to work
to die
to live
to………
______________
“Cities, like dreams, are made of desires and fears, even if the thread of their discourse is secret,
their rules are absurd, their perceptions deceitful, and everything conceals something else.”
Italo Calvino
“Invisible Cities”
______________
3/16/06  Chiharu and I at West 155th St.  ….amazing…..
______________
Broadway and Canal Bulgarian Bar…spectacular….
______________
St. Patrick`s Day NYC 3/17/06
It was supposed to snow but instead it is sunny and beautiful….luck of the Irish, indeed….
______________
NYC street sticker at Lafayette and Grand…..
“YOU STUPID FUCKUP,
YOU HAVE NO IDEA”
______________
Great t-shirt
U.S. Warplane on the front….
“DEMOCRACY;
 WE DELIVER”
_______________
GHOSTWRITER
_______________
Ludlow St….. Iggy`s……. St. Paddy`s Day….
“IRISH WHISKEY
BREATH
GETS YOU LAID”
_______________
Here`s me being the ultimate hypocrite, after all my anti-cellphone talk of years ago….
People who use pay phones nowadays seem kind of spooky and shady….
_______________
THE WORLD HAS BECOME
A PARODY OF ITSELF
_______________
terrorists, West Nile Virus, AIDS, Mad Cow Disease, Cancer, random bullet, speeding beer truck,
Avian flu, falling rock, earthquake, tsunami, wildfire, bear attack, CHUD, drug deal gone bad, O.D.,
motorboat accident, drowning, falling off a mountain, white flash of light……
I don`t know about you people, but I`m not gonna spend my time worrying about HOW I`m gonna die….
______________
IT`S OPEN SEASON FOR FIRES!  Marianne V`s restaurant (Five Points) is on fire—3/24/06.  Lure burned
first, now this……this shit reminds me of a city version of brushfire season in LA…..
_____________
I brake for hallucinations
_____________
“Why do men so often die before their wives?
Because they want to…”
_____________
“How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.  It should be open when she brings it.”
_____________
“The wife is knocking at the front door, the dog is barking at the back door.  Who do you let in first?
The dog.  He`ll shut up when you let him in.”
_____________
“Don`t hate the player, hate the game.”
Shut the fuck up, I hate you and the game!
____________
“If you have a goal, you might not reach it.  But….if you have NO goal, you are NEVER disappointed.
And I gotta tell ya, it feels phenomenal…”
____________
“Hi, I`m Gene Simmons and I wear higher heels and more make-up than your mommy…”
___________
Wednesday 3/29/06  11:13am
End of yet another era…No more Grand Street and Crosby.  I am moving from SOHO to Staten Island, which is probably
the funniest move in recent history (although my San Diego to New Jersey move was pretty funny back in the 90s…).
Yet, I am really excited about it.  I am moving in with Chiharu, so hopefully it will be a nice domestic situation.  And….
Staten Island is a strange and forgotten wasteland ripe for exploration that only one such as myself is capable of.  Strange
journeys lie ahead…
I sit on the roof with a Budweiser and look at the water towers and buildings of SOHO…always an enchanting and seductive
skyline.  The sky has an apocalyptic yellowish tint to it, almost like LA smog, the air is 62 degrees….springtime indeed….
I listen to the endless flow of traffic on Broadway, the rumble of the streets, the energy crackling, the rattle and hum, the barking
of car horns, the sirens wailing, the voices of humanity, the cries of birds and cats and children, a thousand, nay a million voices
raised up into one great song, this….this vast metropolis seething with vibrant life, the greatest stories, the most beautiful songs,
this giant vortex, this juxtaposition of all things, of all people and places stuffed together on a few scattered rocks on an ocean
of sadness and a fierce rising tide…..yes, the winds will blow but the songs will go on and the music of the city will echo her songs
across the vastness of humanity, the emptiness between the multitudes of madness, the music sprouts like a lone weed in the
cracks of the asphalt, reaching for the sun, for something, one song, we will all understand….
______________
Chiharu, my little pineapple head; she brings a light to my darkness…
Wouldn`t be able to move in to the new building without the help of Patrick and Ron……
______________
3/30/06
Live on the set of “Barbershop” in Jamaica, Queens…..WTF?
______________
Testing the limits of my NYC pedestrian skills….walking FULL SPEED down lower Broadway on a sunny Sunday afternoon, navigating
the endless sea of people with the ease of OJ “the Juice” Simpson, #32, circa 1971 Buffalo Bills…..
______________
LOOK AT THEM CHOPPERS!
 
I`m talking about your TEETH, scumbag.
_____________
JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH!
HARK, THE HERALD ANGELS SING!
HAIL MARY, FULL OF GRACE!
GREAT CAESAR`S GHOST!
_____________
4/2/06  a nice morning with Chiharu….
“She walks right in,
she walks right out…”
Professor Longhair  (New Orleans style jazz)
It`s funny when listen to music sometimes, how goddamned TRUE it is….
______________
Andrew J. Barberi and Samuel J. Newhouse are my favorite Staten Island Ferries
______________
The energy and vitality of places in NYC like Union Square can be incredible, but at times, I long for the
stoned, inactive lethargy of LA public places like Pershing Square or MacArthur Park….why is that?
____________
NYC t-shirt
“TELL YOUR MOM TO
STOP TEXTING ME”
____________
“I Love You But I`ve Chosen Darkness……
`Honestly?!  I think that their record might be just ok, but there`s never been a better band name…` “
____________
“A cart is truly more than the sum of its parts.”
_____________
Danny O`s on Staten Island….empty….just me and Jack Daniels and the bartendress (Marcella).  I played
solo pool (I still suck) and enjoyed the excellent jukebox selection and the classic desolation.  I think I needed some quiet…
_____________
FUCKING IKEA!!  I had to get WASTED and STONED before I could figure out how to put this shit together!
_____________
16oz Bud on morning Staten Island Ferry…not a bad commute at all, yes, I am CRAZY and I`m actually enjoying this….better than a stinky subway…
_____________
I know so many of these faces on the ferry.  I am thinking of all the times I`ve ridden the S.I. Ferry before I HAD to, just for fun, to rip around the
island on my skateboard.  It`s like I`m a little psychic, like I KNEW I was gonna live here…..creepy….
____________
….regarding “training”, artistic matters, schools of thought or anything “official”….
The rules DON`T interest me.  Only what I want to do and how I want to do it is of consequence.  Training is for the clones.
Only YOU can create yourself; a living hunk of mortal flesh caught in this endless spiral, creating new worlds from a grain of
sand, a shout into the void……..this could be called ORIGINALITY.
____________
Edvard Munch exhibit at MOMA until May 8th….I`m going….
____________
“Tyranny of the majority….”
____________
“The earth turned
to bring us closer,
it turned on itself
and inside of us,
It turned to bring us together
inside of this dream…”
____________
“Aren`t both road and language, after all, siblings in humanity?
Isn`t it when both roads AND languages are invented that commerce,
mediation, and civilization begin?”
Bernard-Henri Levy
“American Vertigo”
_____________
Regarding Staten Island`s wasteland architectural masterpieces…
people just drive by this everyday and ignore it….
routine kills your sense of wonder…..
_____________
North shore of Staten Island; an artistic homeless man has built bridges to nowhere out of driftwood
from the Kill van Kull river over the abandoned train tracks.  Maybe nobody will ever notice this, but I have….
_____________
Apocalyptic Island
_____________
R.H. Tugs Bar………..Joel is the guido bartender….cool dude….
_____________
4/11/06  12:46am
EXISTENCE…..
THAT`S ALL IT IS……
_____________
The Anti-city; Los Angeles has no center……
“Los Angeles has no border.  Or if there is one–if there is, necessarily, a space that is city proper and another
that is not yet or no longer the city–the property of this border is that it is undetectable, impossible to determine
or situate.  I looked out for it yesterday when I arrived from the north.  I will look for it tomorrow when I leave again
for the south.  But it`s like the border that separates day from night, about which I swore to myself when I was a
child, `I`m going to trap it.  I`m going to keep my eyes wide open, and this time I won`t miss it.`  But no, I failed,
every time, I mysteriously failed.  Night fell, day broke, and once again I missed the instant of transformation–just
as here I missed the borderline of Los Angeles, this burgeoning city that goes on indefinitely, interminably stammering,
a huge slow animal, lazy but silently out of control.”
Bernard-Henri Levy
“American Vertigo”
_____________
“Pizza Box”at Bleecker and MacDougal….with a garden …..very nice….
_____________
VIBE CHANGER
____________
“All`s fair in love and war…”
Shakespeare
____________
Staten Island: The Riviera of New York City………HA!!
However…..you have NO IDEA of the EXCELLENT view I have of Manhattan and Brooklyn and really, ALL of New York Bay from my rooftop….
And I have a pool.  When the dog days of August come, I`ll be living well and you`ll be sweating by a garbage heap with the rats….
____________
Staten Island railroad….last stop ….Tottenville…..where the hell am I?
This island never lets me down with that ghostly feeling of desolation which is probably why I like it…
“The Tides” at Charleston……Clone housing is everywhere and it has even reached Staten Island….
This is the type of forgotten wasteland that could have hidden treasures from days past, PIRATE BOOTY!!
I`m looking for some gold!!
I`m so sorry, were you talking?  I was busy congratulating myself on my absolutely singular and unique urban and suburban wasteland adventures…
Nobody does it like I do, it`s that simple….
TRAILBLAZER…
I don`t know how far it is and I have NO IDEA how I`ll find my way, but I`m gonna skateboard all the way home….
Some kind of filthy gray-brown ex-dump moonscape…what is this? clay? petrified trash? mulch?  I have no fucking idea….
The west shore of Staten Island smells funny….really, the word is BAD….
S-74 from Tottenville almost to Veterans road west, amazing photo ops of old ruined tugboats, rusting and aesthetically beautiful and forgotten…
S-59 to Port Richmond
I just realized the whole mid west shore of Staten is the legendary GIANT garbage dump….no wonder it stinks….
Goethals Bridge
Just saw a motherfucking crazy black dude doing a wheelie on a dirt bike all the way down Richmond Terrace…
Next time I`m gonna take a ride over the Bayonne Bridge into New Jersey…
Thunder rumbling, just saw lightning in a sunny sky!
Still sunshine in Port Richmond
A bunch of Latinos playing soccer in a dirt lot in West Brighton with 2 nice new goal nets…
5:45pm….serious storm blowing in now….almost home…
Mission Accomplished!  exhaustion….I`m gonna sleep 12 hours…..
Howland Hook, Port Ivory, Mariner`s Harbor, Port Richmond, Snug Harbor, West New Brighton, New Brighton, St. George (where we live)
______________
NOW GIT!  Go on GIT!
___________
FLASH FUTURE TO 2011 in Ueda, Japan:
Me and my boss, Akira Matsuo and my coworkers, drunk in a karaoke box…..
Akira and myself, singing Sinatra`s song, “My Way”…
you had to be there….CLASSIC…..
____________
BACK TO 2006:
A family of ducks spends a lot of quality time together in our swampy pool
until Memorial Day when the water is changed and the pool is cleaned and
I imagine the pool will be full of people.  I`ll probably be at an empty beach.
_____________
My life is pretty much wall to wall fun…
______________
Staten Island  St. George Ferry Terminal  12 noon….
dialogue between maybe…23-year-old black dude with cornrows and his 4-year old son, also with cornrows;
The boy is REALLY into a handheld video game…
Dad: “So you want a bike, huh?”
Kid: “Yeah, I want a bike.” (never looks up from game)
D     “What`s that you ridin right there?”
K     “A motorbike…”
D     “Same thing, I`m glad to see you`re enjoyin it…”
This type of conversation is happening all over the world in all cultures as virtual reality takes over….
_____________
Scary bar in Hell`s Kitchen…….CIRCUS    615 9th Ave between 43rd and 44th Streets; pictures of murderous-looking, sex offender CLOWNS all over the walls….
44th Street bar……Saloon Babylon
_____________
TIMES SQUARE is the definition of chaos and crowds.  It`s just too much.
_____________
Flashback to ME taking headshot photos of a sexy girl in LA back around 2002 ( I used to actually get paid for it occasionally ):
“Yeah….yeah!  Be sassy, be a BITCH….good, just like that….
Who loves ya?  Yeah, the CAMERA loves ya….alright, enough.  Good job, stinky,
thanks for playing, please drive thru…”
Sounds like a bad porno dialogue, but she was laughing the whole time….
_____________
Riding the Staten Island Ferry late at night on the weekend is a whole different story from the routine workaday crowd.  It`s a bunch
of black folks and homies going to the city to party…..
_____________
This was written during my NYC mustache phase:
Mustaches are like Journey.  You start off liking them as a joke but then you`re like, “Hey, these are really good songs.”  Then people go,
“Are you being ironic?”  and you`re all, “I have no idea.”  So, in short, they are always good and it doesn`t matter why.
See above attachment….
_____________
NYC Street Scene #247
An old lady YELLING at a girl from the band outside a bar at Attorney and Stanton Streets;
“It may be the Lower East Side but it ain`t ANYTHING GOES!!”
_____________
THE DELANCEY at Clinton………DEATH DISCO WEDNESDAY
_____________
MY LES drinking stoop…..99 Orchard at Delancey; a good spot….
_____________
Queen Mary 2 docked in Red Hook, Brooklyn
_____________
“…among the rich and beautiful, who, as always in America, when you catch them in real life, form a masquerade of the living dead,
each one a little more face-lifted and mummified than the next, fierce, a little mutant-looking, inhuman, ultimately disappointing–and
this was scarcely the ideal situation for having a REAL discussion…”
Bernard-Henri Levy
_____________
Subway ministers, sidewalk preachers, that black guy at the ferry terminals that says, “God loves you, Jesus loves you,” to everyone
who walks by; these Jesus freaks are everywhere.  The ones ON the subway are the worst `cause you can`t walk away from them…
If they talk to me directly, I try to be nice but dismissive.  If they are irritating and relentlessly persistent, I change my tune;  “OHHH,
PLEASE DON`T TORTURE ME WITH YOUR INCESSANT BIBLE THUMPING.  SAVE YOUR OWN SOUL, JACK!  I ALREADY HAD
A TALK WITH GOD TODAY AND HE TOLD ME YOU WERE REPETITIVE AND BORING WITH A ONE-TRACK MIND.”  Then, I move
to the next subway car….
_____________
Union Square….REALLY tall guy wearing a posterboard……
“6` 7” Jew will
freestyle rap
for you……”
I`m not kidding.  What a fucking character….
_____________
On one of my skateboard rides, I found an old safe, rusting and blasted open with moneybags strewn about, but NO MONEY.  This was
in the wastelands alongside the Kill van Kull on the northwest side of the island.  I think somebody had a BIG SCORE a while back….
_____________
Da Projects….Richmond Terrace; A Staten Island Easter…..LOUD rap blaring from the Projects….
_____________
There`s a guy blow-drying his afro in the men`s room at St. George Ferry terminal, yes, Happy Easter, the strange parade goes ever onward…
_____________
Woody Allen plays clarinet with his New Orleans Funeral and Ragtime Orchestra every Monday night at 76th and Madison at the Hotel Carlyle Bar/Cafe
_____________
The 4 families that really built NYC with their $$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Rockefeller
Carnegie
Astor
Vanderbilt
______________
East Village graffiti
“THINK MORE
CONSUME LESS”
_____________
Easter Sunday Midnight…….The REAL playa haters ball at the Ferry Terminal………..7 black dudes that were absolute pimpin hip-hop CLASSICS…..you have NO FUCKIN IDEA!!
_____________
“America, with the impulse to depict itself as a threefold Rome where the empire of images and culture (Los Angeles) thrives to reinforce the military empire (Washington D.C.) that
is itself at the service of the capitalist and financial empire (New York).”
“History has exhausted its figures and ideals and there is no room in this world for political questioning.  Nothing can challenge the capitalist, liberal order that is in the process
of imposing itself today.  Humankind will continue to be restless, and various events will keep occurring.  But they will be events without surprise and without future.  They will
be sham events, ersatz events, illusions.  They will be the last pirouettes of a History that, unlike the Devil, whose final trick was to have us believe that he didn`t exist, will go
to considerable efforts to convince us that it DOES exist.  And terrorism, in this case, will be one of those efforts.  It will be one of those groundless illusions, one of those events
without consequence.  It will be the symptom of that restless persistence human history demonstrates when it makes us think it continues, whereas it has actually subsided into
the fleeting insubstantiality of shadow plays.  An epiphenomenon.  A bloody but unimportant sign.  A final showdown.  A convulsion.  A momentary lapse.  A paper tiger.  No
reason to make a fuss over it.”
Bernard-Henri Levy
on Francis Fukuyama`s philosophies on the end of history…
_____________
Theory of the True Rumor; if you say it enough, it becomes true…..it IS true……
_____________
“WE DESTROY OURSELVES BY 
EXPECTING MORE THAN THERE IS…”
 
Charles Bukowski
_____________
SO WHAT IF I`M INSANE?
IT`S MORE FUN THAN TELEVISION…
_____________
“Learn to handle hot things,
always keep your knives sharp,
and above all….HAVE FUN.”
Julia Child
truer words have never been spoken…
_____________
4/20/06   Chiharu and I in Tottenville on an empty beach in perfect weather….
relaxing under the bridge………ALWAYS REMEMBER………….
______________
S 54 on Brielle…..the HAUNTED old abandoned mental hospital in the Great Swamp…..it is photogenic GOLD….!
6 falcons just flew over the mystical forest ……MIRKWOOD…..
_____________
S 54 West Brighton Markham Gardens abandoned projects…..also photogenic GOLD….
_____________
Sat 4/22/06 at the Ferry terminal;
“Due to harbor traffic, we are experiencing delays…”
1st time I`ve heard that.
______________
“To want to change the condition of affairs seemed futile to me; nothing would be altered, I was convinced,
except by a change of heart, and who could change the hearts of men?”
Henry Miller
_____________
“THE FUTURE BELONGS TO CROWDS”
Don DeLillo
____________
“THE FUTURE BELONGS TO CROWS”
Tom Brooks
____________
4/23/06
“Rainy Day, dream away…..let the sun take a holiday…”
Jimi Hendrix
____________
There is a giant cloud sitting on top of the hill on Staten Island today and a cool marine breeze blows gently
through it that smells of the ocean.  Skyscrapers in the city are lost in the mist….strange, refreshing weather….
____________
foghorns all night long………a mournful, haunting sound……
____________
OMFG!!  That HORRIBLE sound the R train makes between Rector Street and City Hall somewhere around Cortland….AAARRRGGGHHH!!
It`s like the screams of the damned from the 9/11 WTC tragedy….
____________
Great transportation idea; Pneumatic vacuum tube for humans; perfect for Staten Island commuters……..
(Can you picture all those black folks getting shot under New York Bay in a VACUUM TUBE….whooooooooosssshhhhh>>>>>>>>
“ahhh, my ears, nigga!!!”>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>)   You have to admit, it would be a lot faster.  I`d do it.  Although, I like the boat ride and the beer….
____________
NYC——-A GREAT TOWN FOR ALCOHOLISM………….
____________
Ahhh, ah, ha……PEA RATTLES LOUDLY IN EMPTY HEAD.
MAN WHO DO NOT WATCH STEP GET SHIT ON SHOES…..
MAN WHO BELIEVE FORTUNE COOKIE IS TRUE, WELL, HE VERY STUPID MAN…..
____________
Staten Island Church board quotes:
“No shoes,
No shirt,
No salvation…”
“There`s something about the Virgin Mary….”
“If you were a pastor, you`d be home by now…”
C`MON!!  You know these are from Simpsons!!
____________
“One cannot accomplish the flight of the hawk
with the wings of the sparrow….”
____________
“Oh sure…..THAT`S gonna happen….and then I`m gonna get you
a magical ride on my pet unicorn all the way to Candyland…..”
____________
“I want that head so clean, that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in there and take a dump!!”
“You`re so ugly, you could be a modern art masterpiece!!”
“Full Metal Jacket”
___________
My next t-shirt;
THE LIVER IS EVIL AND MUST BE PUNISHED
___________
“Where`s    insert name here  ?”
“He broke his leg so we had to shoot him….”
just remembering Blake St. John`s favorite saying….
__________
Call the White House and try to order some pizza or Democracy…..TO GO……
__________
“George Bush is like a lost driver who won`t pull over to ask for directions.”
Al Gore
__________
I`ll put the kibosh on ya!!
__________
Riddle me this….
__________
Oh, Christ on Rollerskates!!
__________
WHERE YOU STOP,
I BEGIN………
__________
I dreamed that I had insomnia all night…..
___________
I`m gonna buy a CATTLE PROD so I can get down Broadway faster…
___________
Just cut someone off, right when they start a story….
HOLD ON!!  WAIT!!  Is this story longer than ONE minute?  ADD`s got ahold of me….
___________
4/26/06
One of those RARE things; a private W train car from the Ferry all the way to 14th Street…
___________
“Good morning, Miss Moneypenny….now get the FUCK out of my house.  And make me some
breakfast before you leave….”
James Bond
Oh, you never saw that one….?  It`s called You Only Live Thrice
___________
“I am large,
I contain multitudes…”
Walt Whitman
___________
GOD CALLED THIS MORNING;
HE TOLD ME YOU`RE WRONG.
_____
 
PLEASE DON`T INTERRUPT ME
WHILE I`M IGNORING YOU…….
_____
 
Take it away, Jojo……………….
____________
4/27/06
Went back to the old ruins in the Great Swamp for photos.  Incredible.  Has to be seen to be believed…..
like a broken-down, post-modern Narnia…..
___________
Mary-Anne, JB and I…..having a funny conversation………….
To sum it up, we agreed on this;
Listen you idiots, you want to end these endless stupid wars with these fucking terrorists?!
Empty every Maximum Security prison in USA and ship `em overseas….just let-em-loose on our enemies………
These psychopaths we have locked up will scare the LIVING SHIT out of these A-rab fundamentalists…..
those motherfuckers will run back into the caves and sand dunes where they belong and bury their heads in the sand….
PROBLEM SOLVED.
You`re welcome.
____________
4/28/06
Tiny lemon twist moon and chartreuse sky on a dusk ferry ride…..
____________
4/29/06  4:30pm
Union Square; The Potato Peeler Man…..they just don`t make `em like this guy anymore; old-school sales panache……
____________
LIFE JUST KEEPS ON GIVING THE GIFTS;
PAY ATTENTION…
____________
listen mofos, don`t pressure me;
If I`m in the mood to make you laugh, I will.
Otherwise, go fuck yourselves….
(must`ve been having a bad day here….eh?  This really is an exercise in contrasts….)
____________
What I said to the subway preacher this morning;
“You know, BROTHER; it`s not very nice of you to wake us
up like this–telling us we`re all damned and going to hell–lake
of fire and all that shit….what`s wrong with you, man?!?”
____________
Chiharu and I …..OUR song…..Louis Armstrong and Duke Ellington…….”Azalea”
____________
Note:  The extremes of my everyday now, are very inspiring; from the silence and ghosts of Staten Island gardens
and wastelands to the vital, mad energy of Manhattan…and then back again to the quiet.  It is astounding in its complexity…..
____________
“This is Major Tom to ground control,
I`m stepping through the door,
and I`m floating in the most peculiar way,
and the stars look very different today…”
David Bowie
_____________
Staten Island Bumpersticker;
a U.S. Marine Corps Logo
“WHEN IT ABSOLUTELY,
POSITIVELY HAS TO BE
DESTROYED OVERNIGHT”
_____________
5/5/06  A Staten Island Cinco de Mayo
me ripping around alone on my board……At Richmond Terrace and Bard Avenue, this little area could be any seaport at the end of the world,
somewhere in Southeastern Texas or Southwestern Louisiana….has the same look.  As I am gaping slack jawed at the ruined tugs and shipwrecks,
the local folks are sitting with beers in front of the gas station watching me take photos….
_____________
“The paradox of U.S.–Mexico integration is that a barricaded border and a borderless economy are being constructed simultaneously…”
Peter Andreas as quoted by Mike Davis in “Magical Urbanism”
_____________
5/9/06, Tuesday, 4:32pm…..(Of course, I`m on the ferry when the moment hits)
I am 37 fucking years old….amazing……I don`t feel any different…..
although, I am ONE YEAR CRAZIER…..
_____________
“the ceiling is crying,
listen to the sound of the gutters running,
wash that dirty town,
all fronts and no backs,
give me MY TIME,
let me be….OUTSIDE…..”
Perry Farrell
_____________
M-15 is a great bus to take north from the Ferry…
_____________
Imminent summer project; skateboard journey with camera, of course, to explore burned Greenpoint, Brooklyn warehouses….
_____________
BECOME YOUR DREAM
_____________
mother of us all
the City
that dreams us all
that we dream
that sustains us
and kills us slowly
like creeping moss
in a stagnant swamp
like a fresh spring blossom
reaching for the sun
she grows, she thrives,
she changes
no pattern
no logic
just relentless
rolling
surreal
chaos
____________
5/17/06
HUNDREDS of black and yellow caterpillars on Victory Blvd sidewalk at Travis…..strange….like a migration….maybe they`re trying to leave the ghetto….HA!!!
Later, the same day….taking photos of rusting tugboats and dilapidated piers in Rossville, Staten Island…..of course, I am TRESPASSING…..AGAIN…..
Staten Island; just like everywhere else, up in the hills, a confusing rabbit-warren of winding streets where the rich white folks hide from the poor colored folks down in the valley below…..TYPICAL.
Seen at sunset from under the Verrazano Narrows Bridge, Jersey City, Brooklyn and Manhattan skyscrapers are eerily lit up like an enormous skyline of a twilight city at the end of time…
I`m sitting looking at New York Bay, drinking a 24oz Bud, when 3 mustached dudes come out on the deck of the construction shack next door in blue shirts that say Department of Homeland Security.
They ignore me but they are throwing rocks at a fluorescent buoy and one of them mimes shooting it.  Truly surreal, and damn, these mofos must be bored!  I hope they are remembering to keep things `secure.`
Yes, everything is secure.
An orange and white truck company in Staten, and I kid you not……………A. DUIE PYLE………………  I know, I can`t believe it either……
It`s crazy, but parts of Staten remind me of LA (Palos Verdes)….that would be the rich area in the hills…..Then, in contrast,  there are areas in New Dorp, by the beach off Mill Road, where thin
lanes wind through reeds and coastal marshes that totally remind me of the bayous of southern Louisiana.  Great Kills could remind one of Punta Gorda, Florida with the senior citizens arguing over a
softball game.  And other sections of the island remind me of Sanibel Island, Florida.  Strange, the contrasts of this Ghost Island.  (I was to find out later, that before the movie industry moved out
to Hollywood, this island was the IN-SPOT for filming because of the variety of its landscapes…)
______________
Well, here it is, 37 YEARS OLD.  I feel the same as I always have; insane, spontaneous, erratic, and chock full of vitality–a virtual maelstrom of life energy–yes, it`s true.  I remember
27 years old, 10 years gone now, I thought I`d be dead back at that age.  What an idiot I was!  I like to think I am a better man now than I ever was then, filled with the wisdom of a life
lived fully, always learning more.  There is something to be said for Jim Morrison`s fascination with LA, a faraway place from his Florida origins.  When one goes far from their place of
origin, it gives life a renewed sense of surprise and wonder.  Everything is different and new from what you know and what you THINK you know.  It gives everything better sounds, brighter
colors, more vibrant textures.  The world is full of wonders if we only open our eyes.  My LA to Staten Island exile is an insane and incredible example of this theory.  A new world indeed…
and no one knows it but me….(Little did I know at this time, that in a few short years I would be in Japan.  Talk about exile!)
 
YES, IT IS A NEW WORLD…………..
THB3

 

Advertisements

STREET JOURNAL 43

Standard

By Tom H. Brooks 3

“A MAN TELLS THE STORIES SO MANY TIMES THAT HE BECOMES THE STORIES…”……………….…………………………….

____________
“If and when this book is published, dear reader, you can be sure
that the man who wrote it is long dead.”
Paul Auster
“The Book of Illusions”
____________
My Tarot Card…
Prince of Swords: Young at heart, purely intellectual, full of ideas and designs, domineering,
intensely clever but unstable of purpose, with an elusive and elastic mind supporting various
and contradictory opinions…slays as fast as he creates.
____________
River of Glass (Kill van Kull)
 
The edge of everything
forgotten piers
forgotten places
A peach sky of lonely twilight
purple waters
rolling
in waves like wine
The terminus of all that once was…
abandoned industry
rusting tanks
old wooden shipwrecks
rotting pilings jutting from the water
tumbled white boulders
covered in algae and oil
How many forgotten moments?
How many shattered dreams
of what might have been?
Rotting wood
the smell of rain
The waters flowing
that wash away the past
I sit silently
among blasted rocks
and apocalyptic visions
with a hollow heart
staring with distant eyes
at invisible horizons
closer    closer
I seek to know you
to understand what must be known
The waters murmur
the cicadas sing
the distant city howls
but all here lies suspended in time
The secrets still escape me
whispering quietly
outside my circle of thought
I call to you
symbolic meanings
music of the spheres
obscure revelations
I call to you
show your face to me
to the one who loves you
to the one who seeks you
endlessly…
______________
“Call no man happy until he is dead…”
_____________
“I`ve always found it easier to apologize than to ask permission…”
David Polston (“Kojak”)
_____________
“I doubt anyone will hire me.  Employers sense in me a denial of their values.”
John Kennedy Toole
“A Confederacy of Dunces”
_____________
“The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things”
JT LeRoy (Laura Albert)
_____________
I STILL WOULDN`T CROSS THE STREET TO
PISS ON YOU IF YOU WERE ON FIRE….
_____________
“The most immense thing about beauty is finding it gone…”
Charles Bukowski
_____________
“The moon
like a drunkard
falls on its face–
The City stretches out
in its alleys,
goes to sleep in the empty lots,
The City
has become lost in its outskirts.”
Octavio Paz
_____________
THE WHOLE FUCKING CITY IS JUST A BIG TURD
SITTING ON A FILTHY STAINED SIDEWALK IN HELL.
_____________
“I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow,
than a sleepy and permanent planet.  The proper function of man is to LIVE,
not to exist.  I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.  I shall USE MY TIME.”
 
Jack London
“Credo”
_____________
“Perhaps the most revolting character the United States has ever produced is the Christian businessman.”
H.L. Mencken
_____________
“I`m busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest…”
_____________
“A Sound Like Someone Trying Not to Make a Sound”
_____________
The Earth is Choking on Our Filth
Oil
rivers of shit
rotting corpses
toxic chemicals
open sores that fester
on our planet`s skin
She cries
with acid rain
She howls
with hurricane winds
She washes herself
with floods and monsoons
Her anger touches down
like tornadoes
and rolls over us
like a tsunami
and the rising tide
yes    yes
the waters WILL RUN
The skies are turbulent
purple
gray
with tattered clouds
like rags on a cosmic clothesline
flapping endlessly
across the great emptiness
while we sit below
waiting
for the sky to fall
the bomb to drop
the supervirus to spread
the enemy to land
the poison wind to blow
the ocean to rise up
and drown us
THE BRIGHT WHITE
FLASH OF LIGHT
that would purify us all
by getting rid of us
sitting down here…
stupefied
dumbfounded
flabbergated
marinating in the stew
of our own ignorance
Idiocy made art
dreams made nightmares
Our end borne of our own
cruelty and indecency
to our brothers and sisters
and our Mother Earth…
The sky…..she cries for us all….
______________
You don`t HAVE to listen to me,
but I strongly suggest that YOU DO…
______________
“And he looked upon beauty,
and beauty touched his hand,
and he was as good as one dead…”
______________
I`m still caught between the moon and New York City…
_____________
“The more contemptible his life, the more a man clings to it;
It thus becomes a protest, a retribution for every moment.”
Honore de Balzac
_____________
1/15/06
It`s colder than a witches tit out there…
_____________
“To the end, I will remain a child of Europe, of worry and shame.  I have no message of hope to
deliver.  For the west, I do not feel hatred.  At most I feel a great contempt.  I know only that
every single one of us reeks of selfishness, masochism and death.  We have created a system
in which it has simply become impossible TO LIVE, and what`s more, we continue to export it.”
“I myself was completely incompetent in matters of industrial production.  I was perfectly adapted
to the information age–that is to say, good for nothing.”
“The night was opaque, the silence also.”
Michel Houellebecq
____________
” `Mr. Simpson, you have 24 hours to live.  If it`s any consolation, you will feel no pain until tomorrow
when your heart suddenly explodes.  You can expect to go through 5 stages before death…
Denial…`
Homer….`Well, you can forget that, `cause I`m not dying!`
`Anger…`
Homer…`Why you, ##>>+***%###….!!!`
`Fear…`
Homer…`What comes after fear, huh?  What comes after fear?`
`Bargaining…`
Homer…`Doc, ya gotta get me outta this!`
`And finally, Acceptance…`
Homer…`Oh well, we all gotta go sometime…`
`Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me…` “
The Simpsons
_________________
 “Living in a city of ever-present ghosts, as New York is–a city scarred by past and present violence but also
blessed with almost mystical regenerative powers–is to acknowledge the power of what some might see as
imperfection.  It is not imperfection.  It is a part of the endless transition that any living city must undergo.  And
it is why I have come to treasure the most potent and necessary part of any urban process: dereliction, desolation.
Cities regenerate themselves from their own scar tissue.  It might seem perverse to appreciate the scarring, but
perhaps this is just because it has the sweet attraction of the transitory.  There is no time to tire of evocative
desolation:  before you know it, it`s gone…”
Hugh Pearman
__________________
“In my first 30 years of life I roamed hundreds and thousands of miles, walked by rivers through deep green grass,
entered cities of boiling red dust, tried drugs, couldn`t make immortal, read books and wrote long poems on history.
Today I`m back at Cold Mountain, I`ll sleep by the creek and purify my ears…”
_________________
LIFE ITSELF IS THE ART AND I`M CREATING A MASTERPIECE.
________________
“Most people die with their music still locked up inside of them.”
________________
“If it was not good, it was true; if it was not artistic, it was sincere;
if it was in bad taste, it was on the side of LIFE.”
“The world would only begin to get something of value from me the
moment I stopped being a serious member of society and became MYSELF.”
Henry Miller
_________________
“Pure nonsense, pure wisdom,
of someone who knows nothing;
and suddenly I saw the heavens
unfastened and open,
planets
palpitating plantations
the darkness perforated,
riddled with arrows, fire and flowers,
the overpowering night,
the universe…
and I, tiny being,
drunk with the great starry void,
likeness, image of mystery,
I felt myself a pure part of the Abyss,
I wheeled with the stars
My heart broke loose with the wind…
And you were terrible of retort,
in the acid brilliance of your
electric language,
earthy verb
ever-present spark
which flashed from you
as if you were a fountain
like Cervantes,
the ancient belly laugh of rogues,
language like new-forged knives,
that language of yours didn`t come from books,
but now holding your own, your brilliant own,
a dazzle you drew from your earthly being,
a salty brilliance–you were the ancient
fruit of the streets themselves
a bright grape in the clusters of people.
And what has become of it,
where is that one time, love?
Now it is
the grave of a bird
a drop of black quartz
a chunk of wood eroded by the rain…
And that body which shone like the moon
in that remote southern spring…
what remains of it?
These hands which held
all clearness,
the murmur of the gentle river,
wide eyes in the wood,
petrified
like minerals in the night,
those feet of the young girl in my dreams,
Oh love
oh that first dawn light
of fierce noon with its spears
love taking the whole sky, drop by drop,
when the great ship of night
passes over the world,
like the burnt crystal of the topaz,
like the burn of the carnation,
like the metal which flashes under lightning,
and is swallowed by the lips of the night,
And I being born with your love,
with your tender love across my thirsty skin,
as if cascades of orange blossom,
amber and flour
had transgressed my being…
And from that very moment
I have carried you, my love,
inexhaustibly,
even into oblivion,
across eroded times,
a marked aroma,
deep as song or honeysuckle
or sleep,
or the moon caught up in jasmine,
or the clover dawn
close to the water,
or the fullness of the earth
with its rivers,
or the delirium of flowers,
or sorrow,
or the pull of the magnet,
or the will of the shining sea
in its neverending dance…”
Pablo Neruda
___________________
There are no answers but the ones
we invent for ourselves…
___________________
“EAT BOOZE”
Spring Street Lounge  (on the wall)
________________
“You know who I never talk to anymore?
Anybody…..HA!”
__________________
“When all`s said and done, the idea of the uniqueness of the individual is nothing more than a pompous
absurdity.  We remember our own lives, Schopenhauer wrote somewhere, a little better than a novel
we once read.  That`s about right: a little, no more.”
“So all in all, I didn`t agree, though I was aware, as always, that the discussion was pointless.”
“Anything can happen in life, especially nothing.”
Michel Houellebecq
“Platform”
_______________
A classic NYC scene in Little Italy…
a slicked-back-hair fiftysomething guy with a mustache sitting in a beautiful old tan rebuilt `57 Chevy listening
to Sinatra`s World on a String while watching the girls go by…
_______________
1/21/06
I`m literally watching a rainstorm approach over New Jersey….billowing inky-black clouds billowing over Hoboken,
forbidding, moving swiftly over the Hudson with a cold wind……BOOM…..!!!!!  and the thunder and lightning show begins…
in January?!?  Crazy!  Unusual, indeed….
_______________
Saw Sam Shepard at Fanelli`s in SOHO…
________________
Oh, by the way, I work at LURE Fishbar in SOHO now, well, until tonight,
when the place caught on fucking fire!  It started on the 5th floor.  The
people just kept drinking like nothing was wrong until some firemen came in
and got pissed off.  This one leader with a mustache snatched the martini
right out of some yuppie`s hand and broke it on the bar and said, “you people
wanna die?  Get the hell outta here!  Parties over!  This building is burning!”
Then the ceiling sprinklers came on.  I found money on one of my tables,
200 bucks,pocketed it, and went out drinking…..looks like I`ll have to find a new job…
_________________
 Yes, as a matter of fact, my time IS more valuable than yours.
_________________
Anytime could be the Last time…
_________________
“Are you anyone`s favorite person?”
_________________
Saw a big fat black guy sucking a big fat black chick`s flabby toes on the Staten Island Ferry….NASTY mofos!!
SENSORY OVERLOAD….disgusting!
(It`s lucky I was buzzed or my head might have exploded…)
_________________
THE BIG EMPTY
________________
I contain suns
moons
within me
Each day
I reinvent myself
create new worlds
pass through new dimensions
Stars
wheel in immense
spirals
There is a profound silence
a presence
emanating power
from the center that is nowhere
It is me
at the heart of the void
______________
“After I was Thrown in the River and Before I Drowned”
“People Are Becoming Clouds”
a couple of great titles…
______________
Inwood 1/24/06…in the enchanted glade in the forest….(“The Clove”)
I`m like St. Francis, surrounded by miniature black-and-white sparrow-like birds.
I crushed Cheez-Its in my hand and they started to land ON my hand, and eat.
Even a woodpecker showed up for a snack and landed on my hand.  It is almost
primeval, as if these little birds have never SEEN humans and don`t know danger.
Of course, I love these little birds, so I`m harmless…
This is my park, it always has been…there is a mysterious magnetism and connection
that holds and pulls me to this sacred place, a place that time and the city forgot.  It
is a special place for me, a magical wonderland, and it`s MINE–long before I ever
arrived here, it was waiting for me…
______________
Grand Central Station…just close your eyes and LISTEN…..all the movement…..you can FEEL it…..
______________
“Just a perfect day
drink sangria in the Park
and then later when it gets dark
we go home,
Just a perfect day
feed animals in the zoo
then later, a movie too
and then home
Oh it`s such a Perfect Day
I`m glad I spent it with you
Oh, such a Perfect Day,
You just keep me hanging on,
you just keep me hanging on…..
Just a perfect day
problems all left alone
you made me forget myself
I thought I was someone else
someone good…”
Lou Reed
______________
“Roll, roll, roll,
Jordan River gonna roll…”
Burning Spear
______________
“This train is bound to Glory…”
_____________
A McSorley`s Moment….
Pep the Bartender  “Thursday?!?  It`s WEDNESDAY, my friend…!”
Fat Barfly Regular Customer  “Really?!  No way!”
Pep  “Way.  What, were you on the wrong flight to nowhere?”
Barfly ” Yeah, I still got my bags…”
_____________
McSorley`s Moment 2  (If you haven`t been there, the walls are COVERED with classic OLD curiosities from old NYC…)
Tourist Customer “What`s your favorite artifact in here?”
Pep  “My paycheck.”
______________
“He who speaks with an inattentive ear is a mute.”
Stephen King
______________
After all the shit I`ve been through in life,
I want a HAPPY ENDING.  (Not the kind you may be thinking about, well, that too, but, that`s NOT what I`m talking about here…)
I want that elusive paradise, that happy love, that golden sunshine, that little cocktail served in coconut with a tiny umbrella in it….you get the picture…
_____________
“Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and an unbearable pity for
the suffering of humanity.”
Bertrand Russell
_____________
Jan 29,2006 (4704, Year of the Dog)
I love Chinese New Year in NYC!!  So vibrant, so exciting!  Chinatown is packed.  MTV CHINA from Shanghai is here…and a funny band, original
Chinatown bad boys, the Notorious MSG….HA!!  And also, a band called Stone Forest.
_____________
“Don`t worry about the train; there is always another one coming into the station.”
____________
“One day this will all be yours…”
____________
“We Join Spokes Together in a Wheel”
____________
“I was looking for a quiet place to die.  Someone recommended Brooklyn and so the next morning I traveled over there to scope out the terrain.”
“I`ll see it when I believe it.”
Paul Auster
“Brooklyn Follies”
____________
“Like truthless dreams, so are my joys expired,
And past return are all my dandled days,
My love misled, and fancy quite retired:
Of all which past, the sorrow only stays.”
Sir Walter Raleigh
“Farewell to the Court”
_____________
Tompkins Square, East Village
I sit quietly, observing us being ourselves…
humans; what strange and fascinating creatures…
_____________
“If you don`t have a dream,
then how you gonna have a dream come true?”
“Happy Talk”
____________
“Thirsty and miserable
always wanting MORE!”
Black Flag
____________
“…your pretty face is going to Hell !”
Iggy Pop and the Stooges
____________
“Ill Communication”
the Beastie Boys
____________
SECRET LIVES
___________
“oh, but I was so much older then,
I`m younger than that now…”
Bob Dylan
“My Back Pages”
____________
2/2/06  7am
purple and pink sunrise in Coney Island
____________
One of my favorite architecturally fascinating blocks in Lower Manhattan: East 4th St. at Avenue D…
I am always drawn to this spot and I don`t know why…
____________
“The wind is the moon`s imagination wandering, it seeps through the cracks, ripples the grass, explores the unknown
of this city, my soul is my love`s imagination, how much do I love you? Imagine.”
____________
Sometimes when I walk along the East River on a misty and mysterious night, I imagine a sinister boatman who would
ferry me across the water in a rickety rowboat for just a dollar and change…like Charon the Boatman over the River Styx
to the Land of the Dead…
____________
TRANSLATE IDEAS INTO REALITY
____________
2/3/06
I skirted the fringes of the old sanitarium on Roosevelt Island by night….SPOOKY SHIT, fuck this! I`ll be back in the daytime…
____________
The worlds under the bridges…
___________
If you can`t beat `em, join `em….
___________
Didn`t you hear the latest news?!?  A HUGE chunk of ice from Antarctica the size of fucking AFRICA just broke off!
The oceans are gonna rise 500 feet when it hits warm water!  Everybody run!!
____________
A giant neon sign of pulsating colors looms over Borden Street in Long Island City, Queens, flashing incessantly and changing
the character of the street with every color flash…
___________
Lost in Queens………AGAIN……….found Mexican food, though, so everything is just fine……….
___________
Greenpoint Cemetery, Brooklyn…I came upon my grave from a previous life!
___________
I got as lost as I`ve ever been tonight (my built-in GPS seems to be malfunctioning).  I still don`t know
where the fuck I was, Brooklyn…Queens….Both?  Who cares?  I loved it….
___________
46th Street…Bliss Street Station….Purple #7 Train….Queens?…..Land of the Dead……?  Somewhere beyond the edges of the known…….
____________
“Miles Runs the Voodoo Down”
This song sums up my ride tonight PERFECTLY….
____________
How appropriate that the bass on my radio rattles the coin change on my shelf during the song, “Big Rock Candy Mountain”
____________
Like some abandoned post-modern Narnia, I sit amongst moss-covered logs and broken lampposts in a mouldering forest called “the Clove”
in Inwood.  I am enveloped in a very light misty rain as the amazingly friendly woodland creatures surround me once again.  Squirrels and
finches of Inwood forest welcome me into their fold and chirp and sing.  It is an enchanted wonderland indeed….and this is New York City!!
This must be what NYC was like before the Dutch came and ripped off the Indians….
____________
dreaming………….the Tropics; so much to do, but only if you WANT to….
____________
2/4/06  The New York Post
“Riding the subways has lately become a terrifying prospect.  Subway commuter numbers are down at least 100,000 people
every day as a rash of horrifying attacks have been constantly occuring.  The so-called `Mole People` or `CHUD`s, have
literally been holding up trains in various tunnels, by cutting electricity, by trickery, or by sheer violent force.  Most recently
the busy R line, the 6 line, and the F train have all been repeatedly attacked and, if this continues, it could very well bring
New York City to a standstill.
As the train is darkened, these horrible denizens of the underworld swarm into the subway cars and start slashing with razor
blades, knives and box-cutters and mutilating anyone in sight.  One woman was even carried away screaming into one of the
side tunnels in front of numerous onlookers who were frozen in fear.  City officials are scrambling to deal with this nightmarish
scenario but seem quite unsure as of what exactly to do.”
___________
I wouldn`t trade my life for anything…
____________
These moments make it all worthwhile…
____________
Found some weird streets in Inwood….Payson and Beak
____________
2/5/06
I just fell for the THOUSANDTH time on this fucking deathtrap called a skateboard.  I think I have re-broken
one or two of my easily breakable floating ribs and given myself numerous new bruises and abrasions.
I SLAMMED as they say.  I threw the board down and limped away.  Now I am home sulking, skateboardless.
I am thirty-six fucking years old and I DO NOT need to be breaking bones riding 35 mile INSANE rides from the
Bronx to Staten Island!  This is getting ridiculous!  I spent the whole summer of 2005 skateboarding inhuman
distances through all 5 boroughs of NYC.  I have been riding all my life with a smooth expertise speckled only
by the occassional fall and bloodshed.  I am just tired….tired of injuries, no doctors, self-diagnosis, the pain–FUCK
the pain!  I am retiring from skateboarding as of today.  It was a good run we had together, skateboard.  I am finished
with this shit!  Thanks for the good times and the PAIN!  Thousands of miles we`ve been together.  Adios, amigo…
(2 weeks later ;  Bought a new skateboard…OF COURSE!  The above was written in a temper tantrum fit of fury in the midst of an injury…)
___________
Real Estate is the official religion of New York, and its god wears
a gray pin-striped suit and goes by the name of CASH.
“One should never underestimate the power of books.”
“I stepped out into the cool morning air and I felt so glad to be alive, I wanted to scream.  Overhead,
the sky was the bluest of pure deep blues.  When I stepped out onto the street, it was eight o`clock on
the morning of September 11, 2001–just 46 minutes before the first plane crashed into the North Tower
of the World Trade Center.  Just two hours after that, the smoke of three thousand incinerated bodies
would drift toward Brooklyn and come pouring down on us in a white cloud of ashes and death.
But for now, it was still 8 o`clock, and as I walked along under that brilliant blue sky, I was happy, my friends,
as happy as any man who had ever lived.”
Paul Auster
“Brooklyn Follies”
__________
 “I was ready to engage in any way with someone who wanted me dead.  I was alone and reckless
and both passive and quick to fury.  It was a beautiful time, everything electric and hideous.”
Dave Eggers
“Another”
“How We Are Hungry”
_____________
Chiharu, my love, is a real sweetheart.  She helps make me a better man.
She makes me want to TRY again…
I want to find $uccess for HER even more than for myself…
____________
I fucking HATE this new restaurant I`m working at SO MUCH, words cannot describe.  BLT FISH (BLT FUCK)
can go to hell and die.  2 months and I`m out!  They talk to us like we`re children.  I can`t wait for LURE to re-open.
I cannot STAND it when people talk to ME like I don`t understand….these fucking cretins…..I got your brains
around the outside rim of my bunghole.  BORING!  It`s like being in a cage.  Every minute is an hour….OMG, it`s
only 6:10pm and it feels like I`ve been here for 24 hours already!  I am dying, seriously.  I am in excruciating mental
pain right now….I`m smothering….I can`t breathe……aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just can`t act like this, so boring, so restrained…it is a DENIAL OF LIFE!!   YAY!  Phony smiles all around!
I have to be ME.  I refuse to change for anyone, ESPECIALLY a stupid job.  This kind of work can kill your spirit
if you let it, but you know I WON`T let it.
I wish I was in Oaxaca…
(A rollicking review, eh?  My first week at this place was a nightmare.  I was working on the third floor in the `fancy`
seafood joint, listening to the temper tantrums of the snooty Frenchman, Laurent Tourondel and the smug, know-it-allness
of Mathieu Palombino {you KNOW him, Timbo!}.  After that week, I was able to get myself transferred down to the
first floor fish shack, a much more casual place that I was more suited for.  Eventually, I became manager in one
of the most startling rags-to-riches stories in recent history.  Now you KNOW I`m being sarcastic.  Anyway, it was
better, I made good money and met a lot of characters and had a good time in general.  AFTER THAT FIRST WEEK.)
In every restaurant I`ve ever worked in, I end up getting along with the back-of-the-house staff the best, Mexicans, Bangladeshis,
Indonesians–THIS never fails to happen.
It actually hurts my back to stand this stiff all night.  FUCK DIS SHIT, YO!!
Some of the employees upstairs at this place are sadder than whipped dogs–it`s as if they all LIKE being yelled at,
as if it`s the natural state of things!
I`m so tired of pretending I care.
Life`s too short to be this boring.
________________
Re-reading “A Season in Hell”  could never be more appropriate…
________________
NYC street graffiti….
Stencilled Fighter Jet….
“LASER GUIDED DEMOCRACY”
______________
“The problem is that we view writing as a luxury, something special to allow ourselves as
soon as we`ve taken care of the countless nagging duties that SEEM to come first.  Well,
I`ve got news for you.  It really works the other way.  Once you put the writing first, the
rest of your life will fall into place.”
Sue Grafton
______________
 Ahhh, downstairs at BLT Fish in the fish shack….MUCH BETTER….casual, the Ramones, “I Wanna Be Sedated” playing on the speakers, a good sign…..
______________
I really can`t stand people who spend their whole night in a restaurant playing with their fucking cellphones and Blackberries…..
______________
Upstairs at this restaurant, I was like a bull in a china shop, like a piranha in a goldfish tank….a LOOSE CANNON….
_______________
Nothing is good for us; everything is killing us…
______________
2/11/06  Blizzard Walk
______________
bats in the belfry
______________
You don`t take Canadian money here?  What kind of clip joint is this?
______________
“Thank you for letting me be myself again…”
Sly Stone
______________
“East Broadway Rundown”  Jazz by Sonny Rollins….recorded May 9, 1966…LISTEN TO IT!
______________
“Human, All Too Human”
_____________
“Every day we slaughter our finest impulses.  That is why we get a heartache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as
our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty.  Every man, when
he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths.  We all derive from the same source.  There is no mystery
about the origin of things.  We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, only to discover what is already there.”
Henry Miller
_____________
2/14/06  Valentine`s Day with Chiharu at a quiet little bar on Church Street in Tribeca.  We have been together for about a year now and she is a great woman,
so cute….she set her bangs on fire with a candle and her face and reaction were just CLASSIC.
_____________
“Romance is a fool`s pleasure,
pleasure is a fool`s gold,
gold is an expensive solution,
when romance is bought and SOLD.”
Daniel Newman
in a painting “Dance With Anne V”
______________
Friday 2/17/06
WINDY, no day for a hat.  My new black pimp hat, a  Valentine`s Day gift from Chiharu, blew off, tumbled rapidly across Bleecker Street, was run over by a cab,
and I almost got killed in traffic trying to retrieve it.  I just managed to grab it before it settled under an oily parked car.  Amazingly, it survived intact.
(I later gave that same hat to YOU, BLAKE…you see?  It`s got a checkered past, a history, as it were…)
_____________
“Swing Low, Sweet Chariot…”
____________
I`m sorry.  You must have, once again, mistaken me for SOMEONE WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK.
____________
“Fable for Another Time”
Celine
___________
“He`s a walking contradiction,
partly truth and partly fiction,
taking every wrong direction
on his lonely way back home.”
Kris Kristofferson
“The Pilgrim”
____________
Chris Pontius of “Jackass”, dressed up in red tights and a body suit with horns like a red devil, also known as Satan…he`s running around downtown LA….
“Keep God out of California!  All those things you`ve read about me in that book you read…they`re all lies!
I`m just here to clear my name.  I`m really a pretty nice guy if you get to know me….”
You have to see it to get the full experience…
Priceless.
_______________
“…better to be stoned in the plaza
than to turn the mill
that squeezes out the juice of life,
that turns eternity into empty hours,
minutes into prisons,
and time into copper coins
and abstract shit…”
Octavio Paz
_______________
2/20/06
6 piece bluegrass group outta Nashville…the Stringdusters at the Parkside Lounge in East Village…….badass….
_______________
Lucy`s, a true classic on Ave A at St. Mark`s Place.  Loren Crawford met me there.  The bartender is an old, sweet little Polish woman and a CHARACTER…
______________
Friday 2/24/06  I year anniversary with Chiharu….I year ago we met at Lorelei German restaurant and bar on Rivington across from Freeman`s…
I was thinking how happy it makes me to see Chiharu happy….that, my friends, is surely the definition of true love…
“Everywhere I look….I see your eyes…..”
Stones
“It is the springtime of our loving…”
Zeppelin
______________
FUCK DOUBLE SHIFTS.  I`d rather be on the Big Rock Candy Mountain…
______________
Every time I read the newspaper, especially The New York Post, I just laugh my fucking ass off…
_____________
“The man is watching the smoke, and though there are many things he could do that day,
he will do none of them.”
“People are no more interesting than waves and mountains.”
Dave Eggers
“How We Are Hungry”
______________
“Group of Identical Scientists Supports Cloning”
______________
Hysterical humor is the new propaganda…go ahead, LAUGH at political humor.  Let`s face it, George Bush and Dick Cheney and company are bad;
they are like super villains in a 007 movie or “Austin Powers” but make no mistake about it, they are FUNNY!  They are really like comic book villains.
Keep laughing, how can we not?  Keep laughing….let`s laugh ourselves TO DEATH….
_______________
Walkin in da projects…
______________
“You could live with the Chinese for 2 years and never understand them–what they were up to…”
Who said this?  It`s true, you know….so mysterious–all these hidden gambling houses, pai gao in laundromats,
disguised brothels, ambiguous tea parlors…..secretive…..Chinese……
(just a few short years later, I was to find out that ALL Asians are beyond our understanding as Westerners when I moved to Japan.  Our cultures
are just simply worlds apart.  To quote the writer, Pico Iyer….”unfathomable Japan…”  TRUE, so true….)
________________
“I could have been looking at a DeChirico scene: the woman`s long shadow cutting across an empty street
and stretching toward me, but she herself in a place far removed from the bounds of my consciousness.”
Haruki Murakami
“The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle”
_______________
“I`ll never get outta this world alive…..”
Hank Williams   (I`m in my room, relaxing, and thinking at midnight on 2/27/06…)
_______________
“Is it possible, finally, for one human being to achieve perfect understanding of another?  We can invest enormous time and energy in serious
efforts to know another person, but in the end, how close are we able to come to that person`s essence?  We convince ourselves that we know
the other person well, but do we ever really know anything important about anyone?  I started thinking seriously about such things late at
night lying in bed next to her.  It was like a vast world I had never known.  I saw it as a big, dark room.  I was standing there holding a cigarette
lighter, its tiny flame showing me only the smallest part of the room.  Would I ever see the rest?  Or would I grow old and die without every really
knowing her?  If that was all that lay in store for me, then what was the point of this married life I was leading?  What was the point of my life at
all if I was spending it in bed with an unknown companion?”
Haruki Murakami
“The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle”
_______________
“The Misanthrope”
a painting by Pieter Bruegel
_______________
A customer from Brooklyn just said to me, “Don`t ever change, Tommy…”
Thank you, I WON`T….
_______________
East Village Joke Shop: I bought a “MR. T IN YOUR POCKET” talking keychain….
“quit your jibba jabba!”
“shut up fool!”
“Don`t make me mad!”
“don`t give me no backtalk, sucka!”
______________
I gave Carmine at the Classic Coffee Shop a CLASSIC mix tape that I threw together just for him, knowing what he likes.
So now, his LES establishment of 30 years is cranking the masterful mix tape of yours truly….ME from Redondo Beach, CA…..somehow, it just seems great…..
_______________
“Why not a spidermonkey Jesus?”
“ME TALK PRETTY”
Lower East Side stickers on the signs and walls….
_______________
NOBODY CARES
_______________
4/4/06
Chiharu and I had a delicious lunch at the new La Esquina Mexican food joint in SOHO.  She said, “I know your favorite vegetable is french fried potatoes.  And grilled corn.”  What a
character.  I just love that girl.  She was right too.  She had an English class to attend.  I watched her walk away until she was a speck in the crowd and disappeared.
________________
“The conclusion of a masterpiece, if I were to attain this, would be death.”
Salvador Dali
_______________
PALE FLUTTER OF WINGS
ON CRYSTAL SUNLIGHT
LIKE BLADES
THROUGH STUNTED TREES
GRAY CITY OF FACADES
RUMBLE OF THE STREETS
THE SUBTERRANEAN LABYRINTHS
GARGOYLES ON NIGHT TERRACES
ICY COOL GRIP OF THE EBONY NIGHT
LIKE A BONY HAND
UPON AN EMPTY SKULL
MUSIC OF THE BIRDS
BELLS
WIND
SILENCE…
THB3

 

STREET JOURNAL 38

Standard

By Tom H. Brooks 3

A MISTY CRESCENT MOON HANGING LOW IN THE DEEP INDIGO SKY AT THE END OF BROOME STREET…………………..

____________
The above photo is from the first night I met my future wife, Chiharu, at Lorelei German Restaurant and Bar on the L.E.S. of NYC.  It`s not often that one is lucky enough to have a picture from the very FIRST time they met someone…
___
“Love burns brighter than sunshine.”
____________
“bedtime for Bonzo…”
____________
Little things can make a BIG difference
____________
“I think people crash into each other just so they can FEEL something.”
____________
“He`s a walking contradiction,
going up was worse than coming down…”
“The Pilgrim”
“Freedom`s just another word
for nothing left to lose…
Feeling good was good enough for me…”
Kris Kristofferson
____________
My dreams have become
EVERYTHING
They are with me
in sleep and in waking,
They are mine
to decipher
to understand
to live
to grow…
Dreams are an awakening,
an expansion
into higher realms…
_____________
A Floating City on the Water
 
I know not how you rule
nor what you forgive
To endure but not to wait
That is how our fate is woven.
Your secret is not a sin.
Gorgeous solitude, full void
I vomit blood to become an offering
Inky blood.
The dead body of betrayal lies
where heaven meets the earth
silently enfolding a rainbow
that will never fade.
Watch the epitaph of my soul
Oh, the variation of life!
The bitter death
of inscrutable myth that is life.
A gargantuan city falls upon us.
Then the city reemerges on the water.”
Jang Soon-Sohn
_____________
Graveyard by the Sea
 
My soul, do not seek immortal life,
but exhaust the realm of the possible.
Quiet that roof, where doves are walking,
quivers between the pines,
between the tombs;
Justice Noon out there compounds with fires,
The sea, the sea perpetually renewed!
Ah what a recompense, after a thought,
A prolonged gazing on the calm of the gods!
What a lucid toil of pure lightings consumes
many a diamond of imperceptible foams,
And what a stillness seems to beget itself.
For awhile the sun hangs over the abyss,
pure workings of an eternal cause,
time scintillates
and the Dream is knowledge.”
Paul Valery
_______________
5/12/05…Only Me….Sunset Magic
I just finished reading the aforementioned book (“Floating City…”) and I am sitting here on Staten Island, on the Kill van Kull river at sunset.
I look north at Manhattan Island and it is indeed just that….”A Floating City on the Water…”  It lies there sparkling in the fading sunlight,
wrapped in purple and peach and fiery red hues…
_______________
I just saw the same lunatic three separate times today, twice on the S.I. Ferry and again later on downtown NYC streets.  He was ranting
and raving all the while in a loud monologuing voice, ” America, GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, IF YOU GOT MONEY!  CORPORATE
FUCKING GREED, THEY`LL TAKE THE SHIRT OF YOUR BACK AND THE BOTTLE FROM A BABY`S TOOTHLESS MOUTH.  IT
NEVER ENDS, IT ONLY GETS WORSE…”  It was pretty funny but…sober up you asshole.  At the same time, he was kind of right…
_______________
Downtown NYC, Trinity Church Graveyard…crickets and city sounds…
who would`ve known Death could sound so nice?
_______________
Having a 9:30pm Subway sandwich picnic at Collect Pond Park, formerly at the heart of Paradise Square, known as the Five Points…
phantoms, ghosts, still walk these streets…
_______________
NYC street graffiti:
“As soon as I lose
my sense of humor
it`s over.”
ADIII
“I`d trade all of my tomorrows
for one single yesterday.”
ADIII
_______________
This is where that intro above comes in…
the misty crescent moon hanging low in the deep indigo sky at the end of Broome Street…
_______________
“A broom is drearily sweeping
up the broken pieces of yesterday`s life…”
Jimi Hendrix
_______________
You can hear the subway rumble beneath Lafayette Street city sidewalk…
_______________
“Where the rain is born
the moon in the labyrinth
cruel fire
the hunter after roots
In this net
it`s not just the strings that count
but also the air that escapes
through the meshes.”
Pablo Neruda
________________
I have decided that Staten Island is fascinating and deserves more exploration….
5 days later;
5/17/05  6:15am
Staten Island…at Swan Street and Van Duzer
Where the fuck am I?
Later, I woke up in a sunny, grassy patch of land with the wind hissing through the trees.  I am somewhere on
the northeast side of Staten Island, and I had a strange feeling that Chiharu`s head was on my chest.  I must
have been dreaming.  I then came to my total senses and awakened.  I was alone but she is in my thoughts.
Verrazano Narrows Bridge
“The older I get, the less patience I have for nonsense.”
Staten Island Boardwalk in South Beach; overheard conversation of two older guys (48 to 52 yrs?)
Great Kills Park–amazing place…
Arthur Kill Road at Richmond; Richmond Town is unbelievable!  It is like a time warp to a 17th century Dutch Village…
Rockland Avenue through the Greenbelt and the Great Swamp…
“Living is easy
with eyes closed,
misunderstanding all you see;
It`s getting hard
to be someone
but it all works out…
It doesn`t matter much to me…”
Lennon/McCartney
Castleton Street to the Broadway West Brighton Ghetto Projects…
it ain`t pretty…      This is surely WU-TANG country, bitches!!
Later, blowing minds at a Staten Island deli when I tell them of my insane round-the-island skateboard journey (not ALL the way around, but a nice, long run anyway…).
They asked me, I didn`t volunteer the information.  I`m sure it`s not everyday that these guys see a CA squid like myself roll in there on a Sector 9 skateboard.  They
assume the usual CA stereotypes (“Peace, bro” and “Cool dude”) and I laugh along.  They were friendly and inquisitive and insatiably curious.  They had never been
to most the places I rode today (especially the Projects) and this is their home.  They were wide-eyed and slack-jawed at my madness and suitably impressed.  They
were actually really greedy with questions so I gave them what they wanted.  I regaled them with tales of their own island that exceeded their expectations….
3pm The Kill van Kull is a busy harbor!  I just saw 4 HUGE ships within only 15 minutes…
6pm; on the ferry home…
_______________
For Chiharu
 
The warmth in her eyes
dripping like honey
Lips ripe and full
like cherry blossoms
Skin of the smoothest silk
A heart woven
of crystal filaments
of diamonds and gold
and a limitless aura,
open and free…
Like a spring breeze
she blew through my life
rustling the leaves
of my autumn tree
leaving them tumbling
along cold, dark asphalt
wondering
where it all ends
and where it begins…
The moon rises and
I see her face
glowing in the night…
_________________
The Allman Brothers, “Ramblin` Man” is still a favorite song of mine and has been since I was like 2 years old…
_________________
“You`re a writer, what do you write?”
“one word poetry…”  NILS
_________________
“I am the Astrocreep
a demolition style type American Freak, Yeah!!”
Rob Zombie
________________
PLEASANTLY SEDATED
________________
We like to think words
can explain everything,
but there are so many
things that transcend
words…
that are beyond words…
_________________
Central Park on the weekend almost brings a tear to my eye, an indescribable joy.  It is good to see so many people of all shapes, colors, and sizes having fun.  It is nice
to see people laughing, talking, interacting in the spring sunlight.  Families rowing on the lake, picnics everywhere, birds fluttering through the trees, music drifting across
emerald meadows of green grass, the voices of children…all these things blend into an intoxicating scent of humanity–a seething mass, all one family in the end.  It is good
to see my brothers and sisters happy and I am filled with life, overflowing with energy.  It gives me just a little ray of hope for the future of the human race…
________________
5/21/05  6:47pm, in my room, painting and listening to Miles Davis, Bitches Brew…
 
To create….to paint….to watch the colors expand and meld together across a field of white canvas–
to watch it become something out of nothing, a shadow of my interior mind reflected upon a blank
whiteness, a sublime, subconscious meaning, something beyond itself, bigger than us…it takes on
a grand life all its own….
________________
After I finish painting, there is a thunderstorm with MASSIVE thunder and lightning.
________________
“Just one thing.  Remember me when I`m gone.  If you remember me, then I don`t care if everybody else forgets.”
Haruki Murakami
________________
Nothing is Something
and
Nowhere is a Place.
_________________
“Do dreams of dying things warn or celebrate?”
_______________
“To God–
If you have formed a circle
to go into,
go into it yourself and
see how you would do…”
William Blake
______________
“Everything is autobiographical.
I want to go on until
there is nothing more to see.”
Mark Doty
______________
Sleeping in the Forest
 
I thought the earth
remembered me, she
took me back so tenderly, arranging
her dark skirts, her pockets
full of lichens and seeds.  I slept
as never before, a stone
on the riverbed, nothing
between me and the white fire
of the stars but my thoughts,
and they floated
light as moths among the branches
of the perfect trees.  All night
I heard the small kingdoms breathing
around me, the insects, and the birds
who do their work in the darkness.
All night I rose and fell,
as if in water, grappling
with a luminous doom.
By morning
I had vanished at least
a dozen times
into something better…
and probably
everything
is possible.”
Mary Oliver
_______________
“So this is how liberty dies;
with thunderous applause.”
______________
“NO TALENT?
NO PROBLEM.
HOW TO GET FAMOUS
FOR DOING NOTHING AT ALL”
______________
“What I imagine is perhaps very important.  For the entire world.”
Murakami
______________
“because two bodies,
naked and entwined,
leap over time,
they are invulnerable,
nothing can touch them,
they return to the source,
there is no you, no I,
no tomorrow, no yesterday,
no names,
the truth of two in a single body,
a single soul,
oh, total being…”
Octavio Paz
_______________
“Today the loss of faith is universal.  Here God himself is powerless.  We have put
our faith in the bomb, and it is the bomb which will answer our prayers…”
Henry Miller
“The Time of the Assassins”
______________
“With this, MYSELF, I establish the whole universe, and remain forever separate.”
_______________
Yeah, and I`m the King of Old Siam…
_____________
“Once, if I remember well,
my life was a feast
at which all hearts opened
and all wines flowed.”
Arthur Rimbaud
_____________
What I said to one of the guys in the kitchen at Freeman`s…(We were always railing on each other, so he could take it; actually, he laughed his ass off…)
I`m gonna carve some carne asada off your back, wrap you up in a tortilla and send you back to Mexico…
_____________
“Flash
marble
flower
Venus…
in thee I believe–
infinite love
in an infinite smile
and the world
will answer
will vibrate
like an immense lyre
in the shudder of an immense kiss…”
Rimbaud
____________
I`ve found Jesus!!
He was behind the couch…
____________
“Get yo fat ass outta here befo I cut some bacon off yo back!”
____________
“An Artist of the Floating World”
Kazuo Ishiguro
____________
LIVE LIKE A LEGEND
____________
“CARPE DIEM!!”
 
footnote: Tran
____________
Halcyon Days
___________
“There was much of the beautiful, much of the wanton, much of the bizarre,
something of the terrible, and not little of that which might have excited disgust.”
Edgar Allan Poe
“The Masque of the Red Death”
___________
YOU HAD ME AT `GET LOST!`
___________
We as humans are such conceited fools to think that we could actually destroy Mother Nature.
She will take over everything once again long after we are dead and gone…
___________
“…a cerebral, on-fire intelligence, fueled by exquisitely attuned curiosity…”
___________
I have now given away all my New York maps.  I need none of them.  I will find my way.  I have
given myself up to the random music and movement of the streets.
___________
The Street Harmony Boys in SOHO….they can change the vibe of an entire city block…
___________
“Intergalactic Planetary…”
___________
5/29/05
The original Freeman`s Alley horse is back, complete with a caption by Rambo,
“Her glory always reinstated…”
___________
Timbo Hudock, waving his pasty white arms out of his window and always shooting bottle rockets
around Freeman`s Alley while screaming…..goddamn, I love that crazy bastard…
___________
Favorite NYC sign that I see everywhere….SHAFTWAY……huh….huh huh huh
___________
Holidays really bring out all the assholes…
____________
“Strange Magic”
____________
“He smiles, says, `Relax.  There`s no point blaming one of US for this.  There are VICTIMS,` he says, pointing a finger at his chest,
`and there are VILLAINS,` he says, pointing a finger at her.  `Don`t create shades of gray that a mass audience can`t follow.  You
want audience sympathy at this point; you`re going to have to campaign for it.` “
Chuck Palahniuk
“Haunted”
_____________
“…and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all…”
Edgar Allan Poe
“The Masque of the Red Death”
_____________
“The Night Torn Mad With Footsteps”
Bukowski
____________
“Sit silently
Do nothing
spring comes
and the grass grows”
Well can`t possibly do THAT!
____________
“Illusions never fake their lies…”
____________
“Nobodies are the new celebrity.”
Chuck Palahniuk
“Haunted”
____________
5/30/05
Skateboarding NYC streets on Monday, Memorial Day…AMAZINGLY empty, like a ghost city…
SERIOUSLY! A ride north downhill on 2nd Avenue against minimal traffic on a wide open smooth space defies description….
MOVEMENT>>>>>>>>>>>is of the essence>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
EVERYTHING
EVERYONE
EVERYWHERE
ENDS
Fleet Week (the Navy Boys are home) Madness at 50th Street on the West Side…
Hell`s Kitchen, and then a thunderstorm.  I wait it out and then continue to the center and south…
Skateboarding Times Square…..WHAT A RUSH!
Stopped at Hogs and Heifers in the Meatpacking District….
The bartenders are sexy young girls in leather hot pants dancing on the bar like that cheesy movie…
REALLY
Lots of Harley Davidson Bikers and barbecue grills are set up on the streets…
Someone let loose a fire hydrant and it is spraying high into the air while everyone runs around below cooling off….
I mean EVERYONE….bikers, Puerto Rican grandmas, kids, blacks, it`s insane to see all these people together
playing like children in the cool whitewater flow….
And after all that, there is a food and games festival of some sort right in my own neighborhood on Mulberry Street around Little Italy…
_______________
“Away from its inhabited corner, Spetsai (“Phraxos”) was truly haunted, though by subtler and more beautiful ghosts then those I have created.
Its pine forest silences were uncanny, unlike those I have experienced anywhere else; like an eternally blank page waiting for a note or a word.
They gave the most curious sense of timelessness and incipient myth.”
John Fowles
Foreword to “The Magus”
_____________
_____________
“I didn`t know where I was going, but I knew what I needed.  I needed a new land, a new race, a new language; and although I couldn’t put it into
words then, I needed a new mystery…”
John Fowles
“The Magus”
____________
_____________
“If you can just get your mind together,
then come across to me,
We`ll hold hands and watch the sunrise
from the bottom of the sea…”
Jimi Hendrix
_____________
6/1/05  4:20pm Smoke
at M`Finda Kalunga Garden  (“Garden at the Edge of the Other World”)
_____________
“Cast no dust in the well which hath given thee water…”
____________
“Well, there`s more concrete in the world than good surf breaks…”
DOGTOWN
____________
NYC Street Graffiti
“Struggle is only
a minor setback…”
___________
13
A Baker`s Dozen
___________
6/4/05
F Train car all to myself on my way to Coney Island, Brooklyn at High NOON….
Sitting on the boardwalk on a busy Saturday afternoon in Coney Island, I could not even begin to describe the fascinating and
disconnected, alien feeling which has taken hold over me.  It is not bad, it is just simply surreal, strange to be in NYC amongst
so many new faces and friends….a castaway, a stranger in a strange land.  I value every minute of my journey, I revel in the
isolation, I seek new things, new places, I am lost under an east coast sky with puffy white clouds drifting overhead.  I sit here
laughing to myself and drinking Budweiser.  At least THAT never changes….
But…I never forget my west coast roots; the good old days in the land of sunshine, from LA to San Diego and back again, riding
from Venice Beach to Palos Verdes…. I always carry it with me in my heart, but I am still going, dead reckoning, for something
new…breaking ground, a pioneer, an explorer of the highest order…
And you know what else?  I`ll bet you cash money that the DOGTOWN Z-boys NEVER skateboarded Staten Island….
Coney Island Circus Sideshow:  You`ve NEVER seen a cuter female swordswallower….I`M NOT KIDDING….She could bring a grown man to tears…
A Puerto Rican Band set up on the boardwalk and played “Guantanamera” and then they played “Oye Como Va”…
10 out of 10 shots at the “Scarface Shooting Gallery”
I should have been an assassin…
Skateboarding back to Manhattan through Brooklyn from the beach….NO MAPS….
Stopped at an area I will call `Little Bombay` at Church and McDonald and had a beer at Denny`s Steak Pub…
Officially this area is called Kensington…
Flatbush Blvd.  Manhattan Bridge at 8:15pm for dusk….
I decided to go down to the Brooklyn Bridge instead.  Before I leave Brooklyn, I see a HOT babe Puerto Rican cop….
she could search me anytime…..
77 degree night…
I am a walking GPS
I`m cruising on autopilot, baby….
____________
“Oh mercy mercy me
things ain`t what they used to be…”
Marvin Gaye
____________
“Here at the frontier
there are falling leaves,
although my neighbors are barbarians
and you, you are a thousand miles away,
there are always two cups on my table.”
A Poem from the T`ang Dynasty
_____________
You can say whatever you want about my paintings, but I can say this as my own critique; I have NEVER seen anything like them.
I am NOT copying anyone in style or idea.  And they have great titles….
_____________
NYC….she has cast her spell on me, and I cannot leave.  The street life, the masses of humanity, beyond description!  The music
everywhere and the voices across parks and squares in the long hot summer…
Birds, honking horns, women, love and lust in the air, humid nights, sudden thunderstorms and the smell of cool rain on hot asphalt.
The wind in the trees, the sweet stink of the subways, fish markets on Grand Street, blue skies and gray canyons of stone facades,
relentless commerce, throngs of shoppers, bodies in the East River, brown bagging beer at sunset on the Hudson…all these things
and SO MUCH more, all of them magic, the music and the relentless energy of the City….
_____________
6/9/05
I got a massage at a really nice spa in SOHO from a BEAUTIFUL West African girl named Yandouba.  I saw a ghostly and vaporous, amoeba-like, wavering
blue and violet aura behind my eyelids….so she either slipped me some drugs, I was having a flashback, or that was one HELL OF A MASSAGE!!
____________
Riding my skateboard at an equal pace alongside a huge EVERGREEN (reminds me of LA Harbor, San Pedro) container ship on the Kill van Kull.
I`d say about 6 knots….
Rolling Thunder and Summer Rain….
Lead-colored skies and water glittering and rolling like mercury…
_____________
“Chance wears many faces.”
John Fowles
“The Magus”
_____________
MODERN DAY MAGELLAN
_____________
6/11/05
Nagle and Hillside Avenue…..beyond the beyond…..if you don`t know, you`ll never understand…..
Me skateboarding through Inwood on Dyckman Ave with Dominicans and Puerto Ricans all around me….
ME, totally incongruous in this setting yet I got nothing but love and good-natured laughter,
and THAT, my friends, is all I ask…
I`m at Washington Heights at 167th Street.  I decided I`m gonna skateboard the length of Manhattan today
to the 12th Street Hudson River pier for a sunset dusk beer refresher in the mist fountain ….
Malcolm X Blvd to Odell M. Clark Place around 138th Street in Harlem…
If you could see Park Avenue this far north in Harlem, it would change your whole image and perspective of what you THINK about this street…
Marcus Garvey Park and some Puerto Rican Parade on Lexington…
It`s all about NEW FRONTIERS…
Back to Central Park….south….south…..Times Square….Hell`s Kitchen…..Meatpacking district……to the Hudson Pier…..ahhhhhhh, BEER TIME….
and sandwich….
_______________
Venice Beach roller disco pales in comparison to NYC Central Park roller groove….You have NO IDEA…..old school!!
_______________
6/12/05
4:20pm south Central Park alone at a waterfall …..smoking…..
no sound but the light misty rain on the water, the flow of the falls, and rolling thunder across a humid sky….
most incredible thunder and lightning ever!  10th Street on the Hudson…
_______________
OUT OF THE CITY FOR A COUPLE DAYS….>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
____________
Quiet nights of quiet stars
Catskills
night
nothing but the trees
A forest alive
watching the grass
and me, under a mist lightly falling
on a billion leaves
mist, talking in the darkness
yet palpable silence
secret languages
the cryptic hoot of the owl
as he flies across
the crescent moon
The stars present us
with many questions
and perhaps
if one is lucky,
a few answers as well…
A cool night wind
rustles the trees
and speaks to me
and then all is still
and I am left with only myself…
Midnight, 6/13/05
_______________
Dragonflies circling
in morning sunshine
shafts of light
like daggers
wavering though tree branches
birds singing
whispering grass
the hum of insects
the silence of nothingness
the harmony of silence
The nothingness that
means everything
A song we can never write
but only try to
understand
A piece of the eternity
that many try to capture
but very few succeed
A tangible slice of
timelessness
forever caught in the amber
of this morning stillness…
I wait
I listen
something in the air
is trying to tell me something
I close my eyes
and melt into my surroundings
These messages come with
the rustling leaves…
There are mysteries here that
may not yet be revealed….
____________
“On the battlefield–THAT is something different.  That is when the real enemy, DEATH, appears.  The madness of it…
standing in holes in the ground, thousands of men of all types, one March morning–and for what?  If there is a hell,
then it is that.  Not flames, not pitchforks.  But a place without the possibility of reason.  That is how war corrupts us.
It plays on our pride in our own free will.”
“I walked back beside her, in silence.  I said goodbye to her under a street lamp.  By a garden full of lilac trees.  Not a single
word.  Two young faces, suddenly old, facing each other.  The moment that endures when all other noises and objects have
sunk into dust and oblivion.  The scent of lilac and the two white faces in the bottomless darkness.  And that is all…
`And did you ever see her again?`
`She died…but the dead live.`
`How do they live?`
`By Love.`  “
John Fowles
“The Magus”
_____________
Nature in all its glory….within 30 seconds, I had a dragonfly sitting on my hand staring at me with its bug eyes,
a garter snake slithered by, and then a tiny red, gold, blue, and green caterpillar that looked like a Dr. Seuss
character inched by…..
_____________
`Coincidence` is just a word we use to explain things that we can`t understand…
_____________
I`m swimming with a frog….
_____________
Ahhhhh, The Catskills……this is “Last of the Mohicans”  country….
____________
“Occam`s Razor”—  The simplest explanation is usually the correct one….
_____________
Twilight
purple shadows
a glowing sky
a profound moment
a limbo
betwixt day and night
whispering trees
silhouetted
black against the fading light
surrounding me
skeletal sentinels
frogs croaking
distant calls
of unknown birds
fireflies
a symphony of lights
graveyard silence
The night wraps herself
around the day
like a black velvet glove
and the quiet descends
upon the world
The mysteries lie
beyond the rim
of a cobalt blue horizon
The mystery is wonder;
wondering
what will happen next…
_____________
Morning Catskills mist
all night
frogs were croaking in the wet forest
while I sat quietly
listening
to the music of nature
Dawn
diaphanous veils of lacy fog
drifting in ghostly tendrils
across chartreuse fields
bathed in golden morning light
Snake in the pool
ever-present dragonflies
the buzz of the insects
and the day moves onward
into an uncertain future
deeper
deeper into the delirious heat
which clenches us in its grasp
and makes everything more vivid
more beautiful
more alive…
_____________
BACK IN THE CITY………>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
_____________
The Shrunken Head Bar on East 14th St…(kind of reminds me of El Carmen on 3rd Street in LA…)
Tiki Bar with Pulp Fiction posters strewn about and 2 Jersey guys chatting it up with the big-titty bartendress…
“Los Angeles” by X is on the juke…..life is good….
______________
A bike messenger ripping down Broadway gave me a friendly push forward as I skateboarded down the street.
He said, “you got an assist…” and then whizzed by.  “Good looking out…”  I called at his rapidly retreating back….
And the day moved forward almost as fast as I did….
_____________
Went to the music “Summer Series” at Central Park on 6/17/05 at sunset…
Saw bands; Burnt Sugar, Pharaoh Sanders, Graham Parker, and Will Calhoun….It was spectacular….
_____________
“sometimes love changes shape…”
_____________
“Untouchable horizon
the beyond of seeing
imaginings of sand
the scattered fables of the wind
space carved out god
riddle
axis of solstices
always two syllables in love
spirals transfigurations
house of wind
the unreality of the seen
makes real the seeing…
I am the creation of what I see…
Water of truth
truth of water
All that remains is transparency…”
Octavio Paz
“Blanco”
______________
“Gimme a coffin nail or all three of us are gonna regret it.”
Tim Hudock
______________
Blake is in NYC…he just showed up….
Roosevelt Island
2 black guys on dirt bikes almost ran over Blake`s spectacular beer belly ripping through the park….
“Captain Redundant reigns supreme…”
Blake St. John
_______________
“Quiet is proper for such
places;
the street subdued
half snow, half rain
Endless
but ending in the darkened doors
Inside
they who will be there always
Quiet as if proper for such people
Enough for now to be here
and
to know my door is one of these…”
Robert Creeley
NYC Subway Poems
______________
Herb Alpert “Whip Cream and Cherries”
Impure thoughts….IMPURE…..
______________
Coney Island Mermaid Parade…….BIZARROWORLD………..
Little girls on daddy`s shoulders
a riot of color
naked green painted mermaids in a Cadillac convertible
Bacchus on Rollerblades
A woman all in green under a green umbrella
A young boy doing amazing acrobatics off dad`s back
“Amy” with Neptune
4 lavender glitter naked women
Oh to hell with it, it is BEYOND the beyond of description
You gotta see THIS shit for yourself….
________________
Ruby`s Bar and Grill during the Parade….beer and whiskey and Glen Campbell on the Juke
“there`s been a load of compromising, on the road to my horizon…”
and then “Dream dream dream”….
Later SPOOKORAMA ride…figure it out…
Wonderwheel and the Cyclone roller coaster…
___________
“I am of old and young,
of the foolish as much as the wise…”
______________
“I AM LARGE;
I CONTAIN MULTITUDES…”
______________
NYC street graffiti
“KEEP YOUR ART TO
YOURSELF NEXT TIME…”
______________
“CUT!!”
            footnote: Tran, Caroline
======E N D=======THB3=============================================
AFTERWORD:
Yes, hello my friends.  So, it appears that the next 4 volumes are missing.  I haven`t the slightest idea where they have disappeared to but
what can I do about it?  It would have distressed me at a certain point in time but I am past all that worrying now.  I recall Dave Polston and
I searching for hours up in the Hollywood Hills for another lost book but mostly just smoking herb and drinking beer.  So it goes.  Many exciting
things surely happened during this time in NYC, many random encounters.  Many good quotes have possibly disappeared.  I believe that I
flew to LA and drove across America during this time as well.  There will be other descriptions of American driving adventures.  I am missing
Street Journals 39, 40, 41, and 42.  I find it odd that they are in sequence, so I am led to conclude that perhaps they were in one or two volumes
only.  ???  If I knew for sure, I might be able to find them.  Oh well, I will resume at Street Journal 43 which still finds me running around NYC
like a goddamned maniac.  As to the lost books….they could be anywhere.  They could have fallen in a river in the Great Smoky Mountains
of Tennessee when I was buzzed on White Lightning Moonshine that I tried from a local.  I`M GONNA MAKE YOU SQUEAL LIKE A PIG, BOY!
Not quite.  They could have been left on a bar of a juke joint in the French Quarter of New Orleans.  They could be in a rowdy roadhouse
somewhere between San Antonio, Texas and El Paso.  They could under the table at a Mexican Food joint in Las Cruces, New Mexico.  They
could be covered in sand in the desert under an Arizona cactus where I stopped to take a piss.  I like to think someone found them somewhere
and thought them to be cryptic and strange and fascinating and took them home and kept them in a safe place like the little treasures they are.
Who knows?  Maybe I left them with my wallet in El Segundo.  Or Brooklyn.  Or anywhere.  It doesn`t matter anymore.  They`re gone, but the
memories remain…somewhere in this crazy head of mine.  Thanks for stopping by, thanks for reading, see you in Street Journal 43 in a few days….

 

THB3

 

 

STREET JOURNAL 37

Standard

By Tom H. Brooks 3

“…Quoth the Raven, `NEVERMORE`………………………..”
Edgar Allan Poe
__________________
 I`M A BRIDGEBURNER!!
______________
“I don`t care what you think, scumbag…”
Me mumbling to myself on 4/17/05
______________
one of my NYC t-shirts….
a picture of a futuristic looking monorail rising above a sleek supercity…
“Tijuana
City of Tomorrow”
________________
“Fuck Inner Beauty”
a Taavo t-shirt
_______________
4/18/05
As everyone knows, I love throwing my artworks into the Matrix.
I left my painting, Sapphire at Spring and Mott.  15 minutes later, I saw a woman
come and stare at it, look around, and then take it.
Later I left Shapes in the Void on Orchard on the LES and then Smile at the Foot of the Ladder
in the park under Williamsburg Bridge.  I didn`t bother waiting around to see what happened to those…
_________________
The secret VCR burial grounds….Mechanic`s Alley in CHUMBO
______________
______________
“I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence.  I wanted excitement and danger and the
chance to sacrifice myself for my love.  I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no
outlet in a quiet life.”
Leo Tolstoy
______________
______________
4/18/05
As you may know from previous entries in my Street Journals, this has been a big year so far for death–this
Year of the Rooster, this Year of the Reaper…First, my good friend Eric Oenning of San Diego and the Mexico
Journals fame.  Then, the great Hunter S. Thompson suicide, master of the Gonzo style of writing, which he
created.  And now, another Eric, one Eric Gelman of the Los Angeles Marmalade Cafe, who was tragically
stabbed and killed in a mugging outside the restaurant, across Fairfax on 1st Street.  RIP Eric G.  It`s a wonder
I`m still around.  We`ll see how long THAT lasts…
_______________
THINGS CHANGE
_______________
“He was alone, he was unheeded, happy and near to the wild heart of life.  He was alone and young and willful
and wildhearted, alone amidst a waste of wild air and brackish waters and the seaharvest of shells and tangle
and veiled gray sunlight.”
James Joyce
“Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man”
_______________
I`m gonna write one called
Portrait of the Artist as a Washed-Up Old Bastard
_______________
“No one ever followed his genius till it misled him.  Though the result were bodily weakness, yet perhaps no one
can say that the consequences were to be regretted, for these were a life in conformity to higher principles.  If the
day and night are such that you greet them with joy, a life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs,
is more elastic, more starry, more IMMORTAL….THAT is your success.  The greatest gains and values are farthest
from being appreciated.  We easily come to doubt if they exist.  We soon forget them.  All nature is your congratulation,
and you have cause to bless yourself.  This is the highest reality.
The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening.
It is a little stardust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched.
Henry David Thoreau
“Walden”
(I know I`ve written this before but I just love it…..SO TRUE….)
_______________
“It may, after all, be the bad habit of creative talents to invest themselves in pathological extremes that
yield remarkable insights but no durable way of life for those who cannot translate their psychic wounds
into significant art or thought.”
Theodore Roszak
“In Search of the Miraculous”
_______________
You should not own any more than you could carry
on your back at a dead run…
________________
“The desert is the environment of revelation, genetically and physiologically alien, sensorily austere, aesthetically
abstract, historically inimical…Its forms are bold and suggestive.  The mind is beset by light and space, the kinesthetic
novelty of aridity, high temperature and wind.  The desert sky is encircling, majestic, terrible.  In other habitats, the rim
of sky above the horizontal is broken or obscured; here, together with the overhead portion, it is infinitely vaster than
that of rolling countryside and forest lands…In an unobstructed sky the clouds seem more massive, sometimes grandly
reflecting the earth`s curvature on their concave undersides.  The angularity of desert landforms imparts a monumental
architecture to the clouds as well as to the land…
To the desert go prophets and hermits; through deserts go pilgrims and exiles.  Here the leaders of great religions have
sought the therapeutic and spiritual values of retreat, not to escape but to FIND reality.”
Paul Shepard
“Man in the Landscape:
A Historic View of the Aesthetics of Nature”
_________________
4/20/05
National Potsmokers Day
CELEBRATE!!!
SMOKE IT!!!
_______________
Paperwork, legal forms, taxes, records, receipts…….I cannot be bothered with these trivial obligations.
I answer to the calling of a higher order…
_________________
I wonder how far I`ll make it with this whole `LIFE` thing….
______________
That`s not in my contract, motherfuckers…
______________
I don`t need anybody patting me on the back, thanks anyway…
_____________
 “Like it or not, I was obliged to create a new life for myself.  And this new life I feel is MINE, absolutely mine, to use or to
smash as I see fit.  In this life, I am God, and like God, I am indifferent to my own fate.”
____________
Inwood Hill Park–I sit alone in the middle of a grassy field.  The salt marshes are filled with ducks and geese.  It is low tide.
Even the gas barrel revealed in the muck is beautiful.  The Henry Hudson Bridge looms in the background.  The laughter of
distant children filters through the trees, a school field trip perhaps?  Birds surround me with their various chorblings and chirpings,
all colors–red, black, blue, white.  Clouds drift overhead, the blue sky fades to gray, humidity in the air.  Trees and flowers
are blossoming in full color, life can be so beautiful, so tragic, so amazing, so trivial, SO MANY THINGS…but this moment…THIS IS MINE….
15 miles north of where I live in SOHO, I am at the very top of Manhattan Island–the last street I could find was 226th Street–and my cell
phone rings.  It`s JB.  It is raining down south.  No problem.  I am at the very north end and probably by the time the rain gets here, I will
be on the subway headed south where it will have stopped…
___________
I love woodpeckers and I can understand why Walter Lantz based a cartoon character on one of them…
___________
The single most defining characteristic that distinguishes MY WORK (photos and writings) from others is the simple fact that
I go places where other people don`t or won`t go.  I go where others fear to tread, places they don`t even know of, places they`ve
never even heard of.  That is what makes my Art unique.  I observe details and abstract oddities.  I am an explorer with my eyes
wide open…
___________
186th and Overlook Terrace/ Fort Tryon?  A very strange part of the city indeed…
179th and Amsterdam storefront…”Oh Cerveza bien fria…”
W. 162nd  Washington Heights
Epic Skateboarding…from 226th at the top all the way down to 135th Street, zigzagging back and forth across the island at random and riding a lot of nice downhill runs.
The top of Manhattan has a lot of hills.  Lower Manhattan is much flatter….
I`ve seen some beautiful buildings today.  I stopped and had a 50 cent snack of Lay`s Potato Chips and a ghetto fruit punch at 153rd St. and St. Nicholas Place…
A place I want to check later here in Harlem…Nick`s Jazz Pub at 148th and St. Nick`s Avenue…..”Take the A Train” to 145th St.
____________
“Art–the art of living, involves the act of creation.  The work of art is nothing.  It is only the tangible, visible evidence of a way of life, which, if it is not crazy, is certainly
different from the accepted way of life.  The difference lies in the ACT, in the assertion of will.”
_____________
A RANDOM NUMBER OF THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO SAY:
 
1  Don`t break my pace!
2  If you don`t like reggae music, don`t bother me.
3  No meddling.  Worry about your own sorry-ass life.
4  Vegans are weird and pale.
5  Ask nicely.  Maybe I will help.
6  Don`t complain about noise if you live in a GIANT city.  This is New York City, assholes.  If you want quiet, live in Nebraska.
7  Conversations should be mutual; that means talking and LISTENING–not a monologue from one person who likes to hear himself talk.
8  Asian babes, hot showers and super spa massages…these are a few of my favorite things…
9  Despite my newfound enthusiasm for them, computers and cellphones; STILL IRRITATING.
10  Digging graves for myself and burning my bridges is FUN.
11  I shall no longer be referred to as Tom Brooks but rather the symbol  (Cannot be rendered here)       or LORD ZOLTAR
12  The past is gone, the present is tense, the future is unknown.
13  Every day can be a good day if you laugh a lot.
14  EVERYONE has A.D.D. nowadays…too much to do, too little time.  SENSORY OVERLOAD.
15  People who look like their dogs are funny.
16  Writing stuff like this is fun.  I should do it more often.
17  Everything with me is stream-of-consciousness-madness….
18  Fluorescent lights give me a goddamned headache.
19  Everyone should be able to laugh at themselves.  To quote Muhammed Ali, “The funniest joke of all is the truth.”
20  Everything is meant to be as it is.
21  Or is it?
22  I love the moon.
23  “I don`t smoke marijuana, I smoke HERB…”  Peter Tosh
24  “Only the dead have seen the end of war.”  Plato
25  Everyone should watch less TV and communicate more.  Make YOUR LIFE a movie.
26  Everyone should read more.
27  And I don`t mean comic books.
28  Everyone should be nicer to each other.
29  All religions should be obsolete except for the universal language of LOVE.
30  Stop making bullets.  Guns are useless without them.  They are unnecessary except for the acquisition of Middle Eastern Oilfields which keep the fat cats full of chicken.
31  DON`T YOU FUCKING LOOK AT ME.
32  Oh, OK…go ahead…
33  The fundamental concept of “money” is stupid.  IT`S JUST A PIECE OF PAPER, PEOPLE!!
34  Life will always be a gift and a mystery.
35  Dictionary Word for the Day: stupefy (verb) 1.To make stupid. 2. Astonished, shellshocked.
36  “Some people never go crazy.  What truly horrible lives they must lead.”  Charles Bukowski
37  People who don`t like Mexican Food are weird and stupid.
38  Don`t EVER TELL me that you don`t like Mexican food.  You will unleash a torrent, a virtual juggernaut of words…
39  The Blue Man Group kind of scares me.
40  I mean, what the FUCK are they doing, man?
41  I am a closet birdwatcher.
42  “The educated man who is not in touch with his metaphysics is like an ass bearing a load of books.”  Mohammed the Prophet
43  Each day is a new tile in this mosaic of life.
44  “I guess I`m doing fine…”  Beck
45  Time is irrelevant because it has no beginning and no end.
46  Time is only so everything doesn`t happen at once.
47  I love the springtime.
48  Everyone should just calm the fuck down, stop worrying so much and LIVE…
49  And for Chrissakes, STOP WATCHING SO MUCH FUCKING TV!!  (I know I said this.  I don`t care.  It irks me.)
50  “Lord, what fools these mortals be!”  William Shakespeare
51  I know my paintings aren`t that good.  I love them anyway.
52  Art critics, food critics, movie critics, literary critics, CRITICS in general…are USELESS PIECES OF SHIT.  I don`t need YOU to tell ME what to think about something, SCUMBAG.
53  Every day for me is a fresh brushstroke on the canvas of my life…
________________________
“…and perhaps my words will not be lost either…”
Henry Miller
_____________
“We must be the change we wish to see in the world.”
Mahatma Gandhi
_____________
“Our passions are not the unions of blind matter.”
Octavio Paz
_____________
Sometimes I like to disappear.  Get off my back.  Deal with it.
_____________
I will always be a man of contradictions–a walking paradox.  I contain all things within me.
_____________
“I love how friends may
feed your social wealth;
Do the women love enough
to breed with a man who
seeks tragedy
to proclaim how your
surface beauty distracts?”
Rambo 13:29
Freeman`s Alley graffiti
ONLY IN NEW YORK CITY, baby, will you find this level of street writing instead of illiterate Chollo scrawlings…
______________
Me, crazy and stoopid, under Manhattan Bridge on a gloomy day in a park, singing Neil Diamond at top volume…
“SONG SUNG BLUE, EVERYBODY KNOWS ONE…”  Thunderstorms are approaching…
_____________
I understand the City
I pick up on its textures
and subtle meanings
I find the hidden mysteries…
codes
I decipher the symbols
I see the writing on the wall
and I stop to read it
to understand what it is
saying to me
The streets are my friend
The wind in the trees
the breath of life
the song of traffic
a symphony of noise
a cacophony of voices
A desperate clamor of humanity
stuffed together on a mad island, 13X2 (miles)
criss-crossed with roads
and bridges
labyrinths
honeycombed with tunnels
buzzing with worker bees
and army ants
and robots and clones and drones
and madmen….
I walk endlessly
amongst them all
everything swirling around me
in a furious vortex
of raw experience
and fierce passions
and all of us,
like it or not,
are in it together…
______________
Tonight at work, I felt like a zombie walking through a slow nightmare…
______________
NYC girls…IT`S LIKE A FUCKING WONDERLAND, MAN!!
_____________
Not that I don`t appreciate fashion photography or portraits of people, but my work tends to take a different approach.  My photography
aesthetic has, for a long time now, been a vision often devoid of people, ghostly in its emptiness.  I prefer the abstract to the realist.
I prefer the fringes of society, the unvisited places, the overlooked, the feared.  I pay attention to what others ignore.  I like nature,
found in unlikely places at the edges of cities.  I like urban exploration in the strange and scary emptiness on the razor`s edge of cities,
worlds of rusting ironworks and abandoned warehouses and stray dogs and madmen.  I capture these things on film or in digital form.
Phantoms inhabit the empty streets, the forbidden valleys and dark forests filled with only silence and desolation, perhaps a grim
metaphor for a dark future in a world less populated and apocalyptic.  Time will tell, and if my photography and writings survive the test
of time, then maybe someone in the future will be able to relate on a personal level.  Or maybe they will disagree with my ideas and
visions and they will have a good laugh.  Again, who knows?  Certainly, not I, not you, nor anyone else…
____________
“THE QUESTION IS NOT WHAT YOU LOOK AT,
BUT WHAT YOU SEE.”
Henry David Thoreau
____________
“Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that ALL people cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it CAN introduce the idea
that if we TRY and understand each other, we may even become friends.”
Maya Angelou
_____________
“There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as though EVERYTHING is a miracle.”
Albert Einstein
____________
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you DIDN`T DO than by the ones you did do.  So throw
off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore, Dream, Discover…”
 
Mark Twain
____________
“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.”
St. Augustine
____________
“Curiosity is, in great and generous minds, the first passion and the last.”
Samuel Johnson
____________
“Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go.  But no matter, the road is life.”
Jack Kerouac
____________
It is now May 7th, 2005; It is 2 days before the birthday where I turn thirty-fucking-six years old.  Amazing.  Where does the time go?  It flows like sand
through a sieve, like water down the toilet, like cheese through a goose.  Time moves like a bullet train, a flash in the pan, a blinding light–intense, then gone…
there is no stopping it.  Why try?  I have been in New York City for something like 8 months now.  It is truly an amazing place and I somehow have managed
to stuff 10 years of living into this short time.  You doubt me?  You daresay I exaggerate?  WRONG.  It`s all true and then some.  When I say I do more in one
day than many people do in their whole lives, I AM NOT KIDDING.  My relentless and manic energy has found an outlet here in NYC.  My curiosity and overwhelming
enthusiasm have caused me lots of joy and pain and a lot of trouble since I arrived here.  But as always, I welcome the uncertainty and the chaos with open arms
and bright eyes.  It comes with the territory of being me.  I must take it ALL in, regardless of danger or consequences.  Nothing else matters.  I am a juggernaut of
force, a vortex of supernova light.  I cannot be stopped until the grasping pale fingers of Death come to lay claim to my abused flesh, this mortal coil, this cage of blood and bones…
Our day will come, one and all, and I vow to take it all, every minute until then, as just another FASCINATING adventure on this road of life.  Where it leads me, I haven`t the
slightest goddamned idea, nor do I care.  As I always say, the element of surprise is what makes life worth living.  And I mean it, I really do…
So now, I drift into my 36th year on Planet Earth, still orbiting around a tired sun.  The universe does not care about our pathetic mortal dilemmas.  All that really matters
is THE MOMENT–raw, unadulterated, pure emotion.  Spontaneity.  Anytime could be the last time.  Life is too short and unpredictable to let yourself sink in the mire
of pointless and irrelevant details.  I vow to live, live, LIVE!!  Always, live the BEST I can…to travel, to SEE, to dream, to create, and to leave behind a hundred thousand
harvests of the fruit of my mind and my life.  I try my best to understand but I`ve often found that it is better NOT knowing–to be perplexed, because so much of life
defies explanation and reason.  It is not an equation.  There are no formulas.  I am a white feather floating through an endless blue sky.  I am a leaf tumbling down an
empty autumn avenue.  I am the sun glittering on afternoon waters.  I am waves rolling across dark night oceans.  I am a mystery that cannot be solved.  I am a
walking paradox.  I am a rocketship ready for takeoff to the furthest ends of the cosmos…..
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
BLAST OFF!!!!!!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
THB3

 

STREET JOURNAL 36

Standard

By Tom H. Brooks 3

“THE CITY CHANGES FASTER THAN THE HUMAN HEART…………………….………………………”

Charles Baudelaire
__________
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
__________
“Thoughts in time and out of season…”
JM
__________
“No masterpiece was ever created by a lazy artist.”
Salvador Dali
__________
I`ve dug so many graves for myself by now,
I`d have to die a thousand deaths to fill them all…
__________
Tequila: it`ll cure what ails ya…..
__________
3/15 and 3/16, 2005
Cursed, dark days; going down in MY HISTORY as the most irritating days I`ve ever had…
Just plain STUPID.  Today (3/16) has degenerated into a pathetic waste of time and humanity
and I`m about to blow up.  And it`s only 11:08am.  Could it get any worse?  I fucking hope not!
I`m not even gonna bother to tell you why, because it would just sound like whining and what good does that do?
___________
“Ya`ll gonna make me lose my mind!  UP IN HERE!  UP IN HERE!”
DMX
__________
NYC street graffiti;
“Up so late dancing
felt like things haven`t
changed at all…”
ADIII  at Howard and Crosby
“Rebel is American;
Be a good one”
ADIII   at Mercer and Canal
___________
“New York is a city that will be replaced by another city.”
___________
“New York binds pleasure and harm inextricably together in the night.
Night is forgotten and endlessly repeated; it is glorious and sits next door to death.”
Luc Sante
___________
“Sun turning round in graceful motion
we`re setting off with soft explosion
bound for a star fiery ocean
It`s so very lonely
you`re 2000 light years from home…”
The Rolling Stones
____________
I`m always yakking about being on the `first plane to Honduras…`  Well, on 6th Avenue and Minetta Lane, there
is a big HONDURAS emblem hanging above the street.  I just started laughing….
____________
Early morning, Friday 3/18/05–the morning after St. Patricks Day–
The Amateur Night festivities are now over and no doubt, all the drunken Micks and holiday-only
drinkers are hung-the-hell-over and vomiting.  Don`t get me wrong, I had a little headache myself,
but I, of all people, know all too well that the best cure for a hangover is to GET YOUR ASS OUT
OF BED and DO something.  I chose the skateboard.  I am now alone in a quiet, sunlit glade at
the Cloisters on North Manhattan Island, in the Washington Heights/Fort Tryon vicinity.  I am staring
peacefully out at the slow, blue Hudson and the New Jersey Palisades across the way.  The George
Washington Bridge looms.  The day is mine.
___________
“I went to cover the war and the war covered me.”
“But I was afraid anyway, more afraid, closed in, better to see, I didn`t go through all of that not to see.”
Michael Herr
“Dispatches”
___________
TOTALLY unfamiliar turf….names like Ellwood, Bogardus Place, and Nagle Street….
___________
Springtime is upon us….I can tell by the birds….
___________
“What`s the difference between Mexico and California?
There`s more Mexicans in California.”
Loren Crawford
___________
Tom Brooks……Man of Leisure…….
This is how my Saturday begins; a Crown and 7, a joint…followed by jazz music and two hours of oil painting.  I take a brisk
walk to gather food and drink before tonight`s predicted snow dusting.  I might get lazy tonight.  I often do when it snows.  I am
like a bear in winter hibernation.  I read the paper on a sunny bench on the Hudson and have a friendly conversation with 2
babes, from Paraguay and Columbia…..I`M GETTING EMOTIONAL…….
__________
“What is the place where all the thinking and interesting ideas happen?  F. Scott Fitzgerald told me it was Princeton, Herman
Melville told me it was a whaling vessel, Lester Bangs told me it was a record, Graham Greene told me it was prayer–
I want a bunch of people taking drugs and making art and fucking and posting to the internet, that`s what I want!  When any
group of people pursue artistic freedom for its own sake without the thought of reward or backslapping is when people and a
place in time become vital, as pat and cheesed out as the phrase, `true artistic freedom` is.  I like it `cause it seems true and
I`m so fake.”
Who wrote this?  I forgot to write it down…
__________
“A knife, a fork,
a bottle and a cork,
that`s the way
we spell New York.”
Dillinger
Cokane in My Brain
____________
 
New Yourk
____________
NYC Cafe Culture
____________
“If you make yourself a sheep, the wolves will eat you.”
Benjamin Franklin
____________
“We uncover and discover.  All has been given, as the mystics say.  We have only to open our eyes and hearts, to become one
with that which IS.
  The clown appeals to me deeply, though I did not always know it, precisely because he is separated from the world by laughter.
His laughter is silent, what we call a mirthless laughter.  The clown teaches us to laugh at ourselves.  And this laughter of ours
is born of tears.
  Joy is like a river: it flows ceaselessly.  It seems to me that this is the message which the clown is trying to convey to us, that
we should participate through ceaseless flow and movement, that we should not stop to analyze, compare or possess, but to flow
on and on through, endlessly, like music.  This is the gift of surrender, and the clown makes it symbolically.  It is for us to make
it real.
  The old everyday world, the world with which we imagine ourselves to be only too familiar, it is a world of magic–magic inexhaustible.
Like the clown, we go through the motions, forever simulating, forever postponing the grand event, we die struggling to get born.
We never were, never are.  We are always in the process of becoming, always separate and detached.  Forever outside…”
Henry Miller
Epilogue to “The Smile at the Foot of the Ladder”
____________
Tarot reading, 3/19/05  11:58pm
I am somewhere between
Futility and Fortune but my Chariot and Bull will carry me where I need to go despite any opposition…
WELL, THAT COULD MEAN ANYTHING!
_____________
” `What`s his offense?`
`GROPING FOR TROUT IN A PECULIAR RIVER.` “
HA!!!!
William Shakespeare
“Measure for Measure”
____________
The U.S. Postal service sucks so bad that I just went to see if I could FedEx something to a P.O Box….
____________
“Every beginning carries the end within itself.”
____________
“Every manifestation on earth is a parable, and every parable is an open gate through which the soul, if it is willing, may enter into the
innermost parts of the world where you and I, day and night, are one.  Everyone passes through the gate to the path at different periods
of his life.  Few actually pass through the gate and relinquish the mere illusion for the anticipated reality of what lies beyond…”
Herman Hesse
____________
Diaphanous veils of
ever-changing colors
rippling
wavering
Metamorphosis
An explosion of light…
____________
“You live on the socio-economic plane, while I am living on the astronomic plane,
which you can reach only if you have a pair of wings.”
Henry Miller
“Aller Retour, New York”
____________
“Either you take in believing in miracles or you stand still like the hummingbird.”
Henry Miller
____________
“…his years as a wanderer, during which he scattered his manuscripts like seed…”
____________
Minetta Tavern on MacDougal just south of West 3rd Street—good jazz, atmosphere, the whole bit; a new favorite….
____________
“The way men live is a lie.”
…once again we have a revolt of the angels…
____________
” `I have put language to sleep,` said Joyce.  Aye, and now conscience too is being put to sleep.”
Henry Miller
____________
“I revolve in a Sargasso Sea of curiosity and delight.  Everything I do looks good to me.  It is always the best I know how, and if that
is far from perfection, it is not so terribly far from Paradise.  I make my own heavens and my own hells, and I live in them and extract
all the juices.  When I am painting, the world is mine.”
“It was the end for me.  And yet not an end.  In all the years which have since elapsed, she remains the woman I loved and lost, the
unattainable one.  In her beautiful and mysterious eyes, so cold and inviting, so mirror-like, I see myself forever and ever as the ridiculous
man, the lonely soul, the wanderer, the restless and frustrated artist, the man in love with love, always in search of the absolute, always
seeking the unattainable.  Behind the iron curtain between us, her image remains fresh and vivid as of yore, and nothing, it seems, can
tarnish it or cause it to fade away.”
Henry Miller
_____________
I have to admit, sometimes it is great to sit in my room in SOHO, readingmy manuscripts, looking at photos I`ve taken and paintings I`ve
created, and in general, basking comfortably in the light of my own genius.
(If this sounds somewhat arrogant and smug and self-satisfied, well, IT IS.  Remember, these books were originally intended for my eyes
only, and if anybody ever actually read them, I would have been long dead.  Reading this last sentence still makes me laugh….)
______________
“Welcome to the Future.”
_____________
One of my original photographs of a blurred boardwalk in soft, late afternoon sunlight, with receding gas lamps and the Hudson River and Hoboken
beyond, I gave to Loren Crawford `to paint an oil` of.  I don`t know if he`ll ever actually do it but I like the thought.  I scatter my art like dust on the
wind, like raindrops falling on the earth, like clouds in the sky, like waves rolling across the ocean and tumbleweeds bouncing erratically across the
desert….one way or another, here or there, I WILL HAVE MY SAY…..
______________
“One takes up the path in order to become the path.”
_______________
“Even though all our creations be brought to nothingness, even though the good perish with the wicked, even though the prophets
themselves be silenced, NOTHING will prevent the coming of Zion!”
Isaiah 31:1
_____________
3/28/05  Blue Monday
Chiharu Nagashima–She was a springtime wind, a summer breeze through cool grass, a breath of fresh air; truly a pleasure in every way,
a woman with heart, warm and lovable–1000 Springs, indeed…
And, I must admit, I am left with a cold, hollow pain in my heart in her absence, one which I have not felt in a long time.  I stand in the rain
on Chrystie Street as her bus leaves and she waves and I smile and walk away again, alone, rain and all, just like a sad movie…
_____________
Now I find myself sitting at Canal and Ludlow inside Les Enfants Terribles listening to mournful Brazilian music and staring out the window at the rain…
_____________
Everybody dies in the end; I suppose it doesn`t really matter how, but one thing I DO KNOW….it will be a SURPRISE.
_____________
“The House of Certain Death”
“Men God Forgot”
Albert Cossery
______________
Every time you think you have me all figured out…..THINK AGAIN…..
______________
“Those who have had a chance for 4 years and could not produce peace should NOT be given another chance.”
Richard Nixon (Tricky Dick)  October 9, 1968
(Well then, I guess NO president should be given more than 4 years.)
PEACE is IMPOSSIBLE in this world.  People are just too angry and greedy and stupid.
“dick nixon before he dicks you”
_____________
“Now it is not good for the Christian`s health to hustle the Aryan brown,
For the Christian riles and the Aryan smiles and he weareth the Christian down;
And the end of the fight is a tombstone white with the name of the late deceased,
And the epitaph drear: `A fool lies here who tried to hustle the East.` “
Rudyard Kipling
“The Naulahka”
_______________
“I AM that I AM…”
______________
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
Edmund Burke
______________
 “The first casualty of war is always the truth.”
Winston Churchill
_______________
” `Break yourself fool !!` “
” ` What`s this?  Ben Franklin looks lonely….is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?` “
” `I`m Wayne Brady, bitch!` “
Dave Chappelle Show
______________
“WE WILL MARCH ON A ROAD OF BONES”
______________
This madness has GOT to stop…..
(but you know it won`t…)
______________
“YOU BIG DUMMY!”
Redd Fox
______________
“always something missing”
“Saturday night in the Captain`s clothes…”
“Please enjoy, HELL YES…”
“make your dreams out of paper mache` “
“Walking through the other side,
the devil trying to take my mind,
illusions never fake their lies…”
“Go to sleep
we`re so tired now,
all together
in the snakepit of souls…”
“The scarecrow`s only scaring himself…”
“It`s a strange invitation…”
“When I wake up
someone will sweep up
my lazy bones…”
Beck
______________
“I have lived through almost 50 pro football seasons thus far–along with five or six major economic depressions
and constant wars all over the world–but I`ll be dipped in shit if I can remember a year in the life of this nation
that was played out against a bleaker and more ominous backdrop than the one we have today.”
Hunter S. Thompson  (R.I.P)
“Hey Rube”   from October 14, 2002
_______________
“Go it alone…”
______________
“Konnichiwa, bitches!”
GZA and RZA (Wu Tang)  Dave Chappelle show “Racial Draft”
______________
“Yes, they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell……BITCHES!”
Dave Chappelle doing his imitation of Samuel L. Jackson
______________
Big Darkness Soon Come
_______________
“The final mystery is oneself…who can calculate the orbit of his own soul?”
Oscar Wilde
________________
“There are no jokes.  The truth is the funniest joke of all.”
Muhammed Ali
_____________
It`s all crazy…..EVERYTHING……I`m telling YA!!!
_______________
“I wanna be sedated…”
The Ramones
______________
“Man in the Hills”
Burning Spear
_____________
Dawn
Cold rapid hands
draw back one by one
the bandages of dark
I open my eyes
                      still
I am living
                    at the center
of a wound still fresh.”
Octavio Paz
______________
“A broom is drearily sweeping
up the broken pieces of yesterday`s life…”
Jimi Hendrix
________________
Oracle
The cold lips of the night
utter a word
column of grief
no word but stone
no stone but shadow
vaporous thought
through my vaporous lips real water
word of truth
reason behind my errors
If it is death only through that do I live
If it is solitude I speak in serving it
It is memory and I remember nothing
I do not know what it says and I trust myself to it.
How to know oneself living
how to forget one`s knowing
Time that half-opens the eyelids
and sees us, letting itself be seen…”
Octavio Paz
_____________
“The dictionary
is a world not spoken:
seed,
drop of energy,
GREEN JEWEL
between the dark breasts
of the goddess
I write against the current,
against the mesmerized marker
and the plausible lies of the sundial;
like the shadow, the marker
follows the sun,
a sun without body,
shade of a sun,
forever future…
Not the movement of the circle,
master of mirages;
the quietude
at the center of the movement,
the not knowing what I say
between the absence and the presence
of this world, flung
on its own abandonment,
fallen like a drop of ink.
The letter does not lie still
                                   on the page:
memory arouses it,
monument of wind–
feed on the dark,
feed on forgetfulness:
and what you say, what you forget,
is what you say…”
Octavio Paz
___________
“Softly as a Morning Sunrise”
John Coltrane
______________
“She`s got a gold tooth
You know she`s hardcore
she`ll show you good time
then she`ll show you the door…”
The Beastie Boys
______________
“Nothing moves
the hour is larger
and I more alone
nailed
to the center of the whirlwind
If I stretch out my hand
the air is a spongy body
a promiscuous faceless being
Leaning over a balcony
I see
it is not the height nor the
night and its moon
It is not the infinities
that can be seen
but memory and its vertigoes
This that I see
this spinning
is the tricks and traps
Behind it there is nothing
It is the whirlwind of days
I saw
for an instant true life
It had the face of death
the same face
dissolved
in the same sparkling sea
here
my horizon
If this beginning
is a beginning
it does not begin with me
I begin with it
I perpetuate myself in it.
Leaning over the balcony
I see
this distance so close
I don`t know what to call it
though I touch it with my thoughts
The night founders
the City like a mountain fallen
white lights blues yellows
sudden headlights   walls of disgrace
and the terrible clusters
the clumps of people and animals on the ground
and the bramble of their tangled dreams…
You are naked like a violated corpse
I am here
I don`t know is where
Not the earth
Time
holds me in its empty hands
Night and moon
movements of clouds
tremor of trees
stupor of space
infinity and violence in the air
furious dust that wakes
a pilgrim`s steps are vagabond music
on this fragile bridge
of words
The hour lifts me
time hungers for incarnation
Beyond myself
somewhere
I wait for my arrival…”
Octavio Paz
from “The Balcony”
____________
SYNAPSES
I wrote this word in my book at 5:20am after one of those spasmodic jerking sensations
one gets when on the edge of sleep—
I mumbled to myself, `synapses`, scribbled it and slipped back into dreams.  Something
to do with nerve centers in the brain or transmitters or something ….look it up…..
(that`s what Wikipedia is for…)
___________
“There`s a sucker born every minute.”
P.T. Barnum
___________
“I draw these letters
as the day draws its images
and blows over them
like wind
and does not return…”
Octavio Paz
___________
“Traveler`s palm
parabola of movement
Ideogram of Freedom
reversible monument
CIPHER.”
Octavio Paz
___________
“Our oracles
our prophets–
seers with glasses.
History:
a coming and going
with no beginning and no end.
No one has gone there,
no one
has heard the first word
no one
will hear the last.
No one
has drunk from the fountain,
no one
has opened the stone eyelids of time,
no one
has gone down into the pit of universes…
I am in the middle of this phrase
where
will it take me?
Mangled language.
Poet: gardener of epitaphs.”
Octavio Paz
_____________
Me….behind the bar at Freeman`s
THE FOX IS IN THE HENHOUSE!!!
____________
oh sweet, sweet destruction….
____________
KNOW YOUR ENEMY….teapots…
or … try to have no enemies
____________
4/5/05
beautiful day in NYC…truly the 1st day of Spring…
____________
“I LIVE FOR THIS SHIT!”
Vin Diesel in “Triple X”
____________
Caroline and Aurora…two cute Asian chicks giving me a BAD haircut on the stoop on Rivington…
____________
“Common sense is not so common.”
Voltaire
____________
constantly living with pain and irritation and yet having WAY too much fun to care
____________
“I`m a coin in a fountain of dust.”
Beck
____________
IF SOMEBODY SCREAMS IN THE CITY
BUT NOBODY CARES,
DOES IT MAKE A SOUND?
____________
“Is it ok to yell, `Movie!` in a crowded firehouse?”
“Does the Pope shit in the woods?”
Steve Martin
____________
“Without change, there can be no nostalgia.”
____________
It has been suggested that the universe is indifferent
to individual dramas, however heroic or trivial….
____________
And don`t forget what I always say….
ROUTINE:
THE SLOW AND SILENT
KILLER
_____________
“Don`t give up on love…”
said very sarcastically by Caroline Tran
____________
No true roots left…
I am a CITIZEN OF THE WORLD.
____________
“Where must I find my Resting Place?…
(over the hills and across the valley…) “
Burning Spear
____________
Midnight 4/8/05
Sickness–thinking of my eventual death–red light and “Bitches Brew”
____________
“In the Heart of the Sea”….a remarkable and terrifying tale of the sinking of the Nantucket whaleboat, “The Essex,” in 1819,
by an angry sperm whale (the inspiration for Moby Dick).
“When boats were made of wood and men were made of iron…”
____________
NYC chronic shopaholics (and shopaholics everywhere) irritate the shit out of me because they don`t watch where the fuck they`re
going as they yap on cellphones and gape slack-jawed and dumbstruck into store windows…
_____________
KUHAKU—blank, void, empty space…a blank in one`s memory.
_____________
good title: INTERMINABLE SOLILOQUY
_____________
“The landscape opens its eyes and sits up,
sets out walking followed by its shadow,
it is dark murmurs
that are the languages of fallen matter,
the wind stops and hears the clamor of the elements,
sand and water talking in low voices,
the howl of pilings as they battle the salt,
the rash confidence of fire,
the soliloquy of ashes,
the interminable conversation of the universe.
Talking with the things and with ourselves,
the universe talks to itself:
we are its tongue and ears,
its words and silences.
The wind hears what the universe says
and we hear what the wind says,
rustling the submarine foliage
of language,
the secret vegetation of the underworld
and the undersky:
Man dreams the dream of things.
Time thinks the dreams of men.”
Octavio Paz
_____________
“I speak of the City
the enormous City that dreams us all,
that all of us build and unbuild
and rebuild as we dream,
the City we all dream,
that relentlessly changes while
we dream it,
the City that wakes every hundred years
and looks at itself in the mirror
and doesn`t recognize itself
and goes back to sleep.
I speak of the forest of stone,
the desert of the prophets,
the ant heap of souls,
the congregation of tribes,
the house of mirrors,
the labyrinth of echoes.
I speak of the great murmur
that comes from the depths of time,
the incoherent whisper of nations
uniting or splitting apart,
the wheeling of multitudes
and their weapons like
boulders hurling down,
the dull sound of bones
falling into the pit of history.
I speak of the City,
shepherd of the centuries,
mother that gives birth to us
and devours us,
that creates us
and forgets…”
Octavio Paz
______________
“Between what I see and what I say,
between what I say and what I keep silent,
between what I keep silent and what I dream,
between what I dream and what I forget:
POETRY.
It slips
between yes and no,
says
what I keep silent,
keeps silent
what I say,
dreams
what I forget.
It is not speech:
It is an act.
It is an act
of speech.
POETRY
speaks and listens:
It is real
and as soon as I say
IT IS REAL,
it vanishes.
Is it then more real?
Tangible idea,
intangible
word:
POETRY
comes and goes
between what is
and what is not.
It weaves
and unweaves reflections,
POETRY
scatters eyes on a page
scatters words on our eyes.
Eyes speak,
words look,
looks think.
To hear
thoughts
see
what we say,
touch
the body of an idea.
Eyes close,
the words open…”
Octavio Paz
(In case you haven`t noticed, this guy is a GENIUS…)
_____________
“THE HEART IS AN EYE.
CREATE IN ORDER TO SEE.”
“THE MIRRORED BAR,
AMBIGUOUS ALTAR WHERE GENIES
WITH INSIDIOUS POWERS SLEEP CAPTIVE
IN THE MULTICOLORED BOTTLES.”
Octavio Paz
_____________
“Plain of sheets
and night of bodies,
tide of desire
and grotto of dreams,
an intangible village sleeps
beneath your eyelids,
knotted bodies are the book of the soul:
With my touch and my tongue,
I write out on your body
the scripture of the world.
A knowledge still nameless;
the taste of this earth.
Brief light yet sufficient
to light and blind us
like the sudden burst
of seedpod and semen.
Between the end and the beginning,
a moment without time,
a delicate arch of blood,
a bridge over the void,
Locked, two bodies
sculpt a bolt of lightning.
Last night
in your bed
we were three:
the moon   you and me…
I open the lips of your night
damp hollows
unborn
echoes:
whiteness
a rush
of unchained water…
to sleep to sleep in you
or even better to wake,
to open my eyes
at your center…
You spread out beneath my eyes,
a land of dunes–ocher, bright.
The wind in search of water
stopped,
a land of heartbeats and fountains.
Vast as the night you fit
in the hollow of my hand.
Later, the motionless hurling down,
within and without ourselves.
With my eyes I ate darkness,
drank the water of time.
I drank night.
Then I touched the body of a music
heard with the tips of my fingers.
Dark bodies, together,
moored in the shadows,
our bodies reclined,
our souls unleashed,
lamps afloat
in the water of night.
In the end you opened your eyes.
You saw yourself seen by my eyes;
and from my eyes you saw yourself:
falling like a fruit on the grass,
like a stone in the pond,
you fell into yourself.
A tide rose within me,
with a weightless fist I beat
at the door of your lids:
my death wanted to meet you,
my death wanted to meet itself.
I was buried in your eyes.
Our bodies flow through
the plains of night:
they are time wearing itself out,
a presence that dissolves in a caress,
yet they are infinite, to touch them
is to bathe in rivers of heartbeats
and return to the perpetual beginning anew…”
Octavio Paz
______________
 the somnambulist
______________
“the God of Small Things”
______________
“Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil”
_______________
Me, finally `discovering` the internet, is roughly equivalent to the caveman discovering fire.
I am suddenly in awe….dumbstruck….amazed……
______________
I`m almost embarrassed to have waited so long (not REALLY) but I learn fast.  However,
I STILL PREFER BOOKS TO FLICKERING COMPUTER SCREENS…
______________
“All the world`s a stage.”
William Shakespeare
_____________
NYC graffiti
“War Kills for Money
and Art saves lives for free”
ADIII
On Crosby north of Howard
____________
I don`t care what you think.
Sorry.
Whatever.
I`m just gonna keep being me.
I`ll keep doing whatever I feel like doing.
I`ll keep on creating whatever comes to me until the bitter end.
_____________
My recent photography kick:
A study in the Geometry of Shadows
______________
“Love in the middle of a firefight
I am the world`s forgotten boy
the one who searches and destroys…”
“Come along on my Death Trip…”
Iggy Pop
______________
Having it etched in my mind from back in `95, it is strange to revisit the so called Two Bridges or CHUMBO section
of Manhattan again.  It is my favorite place to hide and chill out alone with a cold beer…
_____________
The Circus is leaving town…
______________
Thursday afternoon in the Ramble, the most fascinating little corner of Central Park; winding paths, antique lampposts
that would do Narnia justice, a lake, a few charming stone bridges, yes, springtime is upon us, the birds are chirping,
the trees are blossoming, the whole world is alive with color.  I was alone until a GIANT tour group, 50 or more invaded
my space.  It just happened to be a gaggle of all women, and they passed through smiling and smelling like a summer
breeze.  I am on a bench, but I`m about to go sit beside the lake on a stone beyond a thicket of bamboo, away from the
riff-raff, one of my secret spots.  Later, I believe a ride on the Staten Island Ferry is in order, yes, that`s it.  Life is good
and the only thing that can stop me are the cold, grasping marble-white fingers of Death…
___________
Saw a GIANT frog lounging in the sun beyond the bamboo thicket…I`ll take this as a good luck sign…
Later, I walk faster than a horse trots, even while writing this…
____________
“Cosmos Mariner–
Destination  Unknown…”
___________
Staten Island North Shore.
Sunset on the Kill van Kull,
nothing but the howl of the wind in my ears…
____________
What a ridiculously insane City this is!  Every single block on this vast grid is a new adventure,
a bubble, a little universe unto itself.  Each block has its own atmosphere and character, some
amiable and inviting, others tinged with menace.  The wonders never cease.
___________
Harlem 4/15/05
Hair in curlers and cornrows and 40oz`s,  bitches!!
____________
Morningside Avenue and the rocky cliffs that separate Columbia University from the hood below…
Amsterdam Avenue….The Cathedral Church of St. John the Divine…
_____________
“Talk is cheap, motherfucker!”
DMX
_____________
The ultimate camera lenses…MY EYES…
Thanks for this life, this manifestation of my spirit, this existence of pain and pleasure….
Everything I see is engraved in my memory with loving and exquisite detail.  I walk through
Central Park, the music drifts through the trees and across the meadows.  There is the sound
of the wind, the trees are speaking to me, the leaves, the birds, all of it…a riot of color and sound,
a seething humanity, a symphony for the senses, and I revel in it with enthusiasm and boundless
appreciation…..LIVING the best way I know how…
THB3

STREET JOURNAL 35

Standard

By Tom H. Brooks 3

I AM THESE WORDS…………………….……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

________
Nobody will ever see NYC as I see it…
________
SIMULACRUM
________
I`ve already written this one in my books.  I don`t care; I`m gonna write it again.  And you`re gonna read it again….
“Coming and Going
 
Muddy November;
stained stone, bruised bone,
uncertain palaces.
I crossed through arches
and over bridges,
I was alive, in search of life.
In a lunar room
the light lost its blood, fish men
exchanged cold reflections.
I was alive and saw many ghosts
all made of flesh and bone,
all of them greedy.
Tower of topaz and blood
black tresses and amber breasts,
the subterranean lady.
Tiger, heifer, octopus, ivy in flames:
she burned my bones, sucked my blood.
Bed an extinct planet,
night and body a mirror trick,
lady a mountain of salt.
The sun of high plains
eats my remains:
I was alive
and went in search of death.”
Octavio Paz (GENIUS)
__________
The course of time shall turn everything to dust…
__________
Let the jackals come for me, I will already be gone…
__________
You read this again too….DO IT……
A Million Shades of Gray
 
Let me tell you a story
of a million shades of gray,
a story
of blue skies and thunderstorms
of
madness and dreams
of
a thousand faces and places
in a single day
and a thousand and one nights
of delirium and desire,
of hot breath
and beating hearts,
lips
and soft velvet flesh
bathed in sweat
all intertwined
like arcane symbols
come together
in some mysterious ancient rite…
Let me tell you a story
of tomorrow and yesterday
and this moment right now.
The wind blows golden leaves
clattering,
diamonds glitter on East River,
Everything
bathed in light…
____________
“The universal mirror that
repeating this world
reflects another,
that transforms what it copies,
man is not what he is, cells or god,
but that which is always further off.
Our passions are not the unions
of blind matter.
To paint is to search for the
secret rhyme,
to sketch the echo,
to paint the link…”
Octavio Paz
___________
“There is a place where time stands still.  Raindrops hang motionless in air.  Pendulums of clocks float mid-swing…
As a traveler approaches this place from any direction, he moves more and more slowly…”
Alan Lightman
“Einstein`s Dreams”
___________
“Existential angst apparently won over work experience and resumes here…”
a quote from the NYC Daily News regarding our restaurant, Freeman`s
HA!!
___________
Sleeping on the A Train in an empty car, all the way to 207th Street….
___________
A quiet and meditative moment
on the Harlem River
the Bronx across the way
everything sparkling in the
crisp winter sunlight
silence
a jet streaks
silver
across the
blue dome of sky
The stillness of noon
A leaf falls
fluttering
from a tree
Wind hisses through dry branches
Stones sit mute and cold
White birds
wheel erratically above
A red balloon floats by
I am alone
and alive in this picture…
__________
I made fun of them before; now I am the ULTIMATE cell phone artist…
MY photos make the others look like a child`s Crayola drawing…
__________
Inwood Hill Park, the area I`ve named Deadman`s Triangle–aggressive black squirrels that look like half-breed rats;
I sense death…forgotten here, perhaps an old buried graveyard.  All of it, totally empty on a 55 degree winter day.
__________
“Out of the blue and into the black…”
Neil Young
__________
THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR SILENCE
__________
Kana Harata….a hot Japanese chick that I met at Freeman`s….
__________
Sunday morning on the sunny side of the Bowery…
__________
Thousands of saffron orange banners line the walkways of Central Park in a giant land artwork called, “Gateways”,
by Christo and Jean-Claude.  They span all over the place for 800 acres….quite striking, really….
__________
Each moment
a jewel
a mineral
a grain of salt
Each thought
a flower
a diamond of fire
a river of light
Each dream
a moonbeam
a mosaic
a pile of ashes
                      dreams
reality
                      waking
fleeting
                      shadows
a sunbeam on a white wall
Everything
unfolding
revealing itself
expanding
a lotus blossom
a mirror image
frozen in time
Everything
unique in its character
ripe with wonder
begging to be deciphered
codes
signs
symbols
windows unto new worlds
New mysteries
enfolding us
in their dark
whirling chaos
a beam of light
shining
in the void
a wavering candle flame
a tiny
distant
star
an eternity of echoes
the blue flame
in the endless night
a white bird
flying
over dark oceans
a wave
an endless flow
without and within
Each moment
just that
and nothing more…
2/5/05 8:42pm
____________
“Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.”
“The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.”
William Blake
____________
Conversation excerpt; with JB on 2/15/05 at Freeman`s
Me “That girl on table 11 is hot.”
JB “That`s a trannie, man!”
Me “No way!  Are you sure?”
JB “Yeah, I`m sure.  Look at his arms, look at his wrists.”
Me “No, that`s definitely a woman…it`s gotta be….too sexy to be a guy.”
JB “Whatever.  It`s a man.  He`s got an Adam`s Apple, dumbass…”
Me “Well, then….he`s hot….”
_____________
Later, I met one that actually WAS a woman ( I checked closely for an Adam`s Apple ), Aisha from Ivory Coast….gorgeous…
____________
This world has turned into a parody of itself
____________
“Nothing in my dreams
but some ugly memories,
Nothing left alive
but a pair of glassy eyes…”
Iggy Pop
“Gimme Danger”
____________
“I take my time, gazing out the window as I eat.  The station`s packed with people streaming in and out, all of them dressed in their favorite
clothes, bags or briefcases in hand, each one dashing off to take care of some pressing business.  I stare at this ceaseless, rushing crowd
and imagine a time a hundred years from now.  In a hundred years everybody here–me included–will have disappeared from the face of the
earth and turned into ashes or dust.  A weird thought, but everything in front of me starts to seem unreal, like a gust of wind could blow it all away.”
Haruki Murakami
“Kafka on the Shore”
_____________
“Everything is a metaphor.”
Goethe
____________
“NEVER HESITATE”
DWP
____________
Any time could be the last time…
____________
“mmmm….I`m just a warm, toasty cinnamon bun and I NEVER wanna leave this bed…..oh oh, gotta take a leak….”
Homer Simpson
____________
“Listen, what you`re experiencing now is the motif of many Greek tragedies.  Man doesn`t choose fate.  Fate chooses man.  And the sense
of tragedy–according to Aristotle–comes, ironically enough, not from the protagonist`s weak points BUT FROM HIS GOOD QUALITIES.
People are drawn deeper into tragedy not by their defects but by their VIRTUES.”
Haruki Murakami
____________
E  X  P  A  N  D
____________
“Symbolism and meaning are two separate things.  I think one finds the right words by bypassing procedures like meaning and logic, like
captured words in a dream; it`s like delicately catching hold of a butterfly`s wings as it flutters around.  Artists are those who can evade
the verbose.”
“Necessity is an independent concept.  It has a different structure from logic, morals, or meaning.  Its function lies entirely in the role it plays.
What doesn`t play a role shouldn`t exist.  What necessity requires DOES need to exist.”
Haruki Murakami
___________
“If a pistol appears in a story, eventually it`s got to be fired.”
Anton Chekhov
___________
“If this is gonna be THAT kind of party, I`M GONNA STICK MY DICK IN THE MASHED POTATOES…”
From a Beastie Boys song…
___________
“Hey baby, let me make you an omelette…”
Ford
___________
Teriyaki Chicken at Zen Restaurant on St. Mark`s Place on a cold gloomy Saturday.  It is noon and the place is nearly empty.  I drink some
hot sake and read Haruki….
___________
“THE TIME HAS COME FOR US TO STOP TUNING SEPARATE INSTRUMENTS
AND, TOGETHER, CREATE A SYMPHONY…”
___________
Kafka means Crow in Czech…..
___________
“Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time.”
“Pointless thinking is worse than no thinking at all.”
___________
“You sit at the edge of the world
I am in a crater that`s no more,
Words without letters
standing in the shadow of the door.
The moon shines down on a sleeping lizard
little fish rain down from the sky.
Outside the window there are soldiers,
steeling themselves to die.
Kafka sits in a chair by the shore,
thinking of the pendulum that moves
the world, it seems.
When your heart is closed,
the shadow of the unmoving Sphinx,
becomes a knife that pierces your dreams.
The drowning girl`s fingers
search for the entrance stone and more,
lifting the hem of her azure dress,
she gazes…
at Kafka on the Shore…”
Haruki Murakami
___________
“I head off into the heart of the forest, a hollow man, a void that devours all that`s substantial.  There is nothing left to fear.  Not a thing.
AND I HEAD OFF INTO THE HEART OF THE FOREST.”
Haruki Murakami
___________
Literary imagery
paintings with words
a thousand birds flying
a canvas of thought
colors within
shining
through a veil of mystery
A crow squawks
A fire alights
Smoke rises
and disappears
in the still air…
____________
Listen to the wind
___________
Messages come in many forms
___________
Follow the signs to the heart of the matter
___________
ICONOCLASM
___________
Sunday 2/20/05
I find out that my old friend from San Diego, Eric Oenning  ( refer to MEXICO JOURNAL ) , has passed away.
I am very, very sad to hear this.  He lived FULL, and crazy, and well.
Rest in Peace, brother…..Go to a better place…..
Sleep the sleep of the dead….
“I`d rather be a free man in my grave
than living as a puppet or a slave…
the harder they come, the harder they fall….”
Jimmy Cliff  (Our Mexico theme music….)
“Everyone I know, goes away in the end….”
______________
“Gloomy Sunday….”
______________
On top of everything else, I find out that the great author, Hunter S. Thompson, committed suicide today by blowing his head off with a shotgun….
Rest in Piece, Raoul Duke…….
“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
“A MAN ON THE MOVE AND JUST SICK ENOUGH TO BE TOTALLY CONFIDENT…”
HST  (GONZO)
________________
“When that black Sunday comes for me, I`ll open the door, look him right in the eye and say, `the check`s in the mail.` “
Dave Polston
_____________
“To see the world in a grain of sand and Heaven in a wild flower,
to hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour.”
William Blake
_____________
“I want you to remember me.
If YOU remember me, then I don`t care
if everyone else forgets.”
Murakami
_____________
“The Smile at the Foot of the Ladder”
Henry Miller
_____________
POP THE CLUTCH
_____________
I notice that I have stopped listening to my music as I walk around NYC.  I always used to listen to it in LA because the music
filled up all that open space, the void between everything and everyone.  In NYC, the city makes more than enough music of
its own, enough to keep one alert and aware of the sights and sounds all around him.  There is still a void between people.  We
are all alone, walking amongst ghosts.  But here, there is a certain vital life force combined in a bewitching way with death.  It
stimulates the soul and gives birth to Art…
_____________
Within just a few short weeks, Stone Age Tom, has moved into the 21st Century with a vengeance….e-mail, cell phones, texting,
cell phone photos….all that crap….so much, so sudden, so sad, really…..
_____________
People who make noise complaints in the City can go to hell and die.  You want quiet, move to the Catskills, scumbag.  Do you
expect quiet?  REALLY?!!?  Do you know where the fuck you are, asshole?!!?  This is NEW YORK FUCKING CITY!!  Your heavy
footsteps make more noise on my ceiling than sirens and horns outside.  What`s up?!  Now get your fat ass outta here before
I cut some bacon off your back!….
______________
Downtown NYC/ City Hall District / carved in stone on the edifice….
“THE TRUE ADMINISTRATION OF JUSTICE IS THE FIRMEST PILLAR OF GOOD GOVERNMENT.”
How`s THAT for today`s AMERIKA?
_____________
Beekman and Park Row
Theatre Alley
____________
Sunday afternoon church bells down by South Street Seaport, 2pm, haven`t heard them in a LONG time….
____________
Tribeca, Staple Street….spectacular……
____________
“Let no one think I thought this story out.  Auguste (the clown) is unique in that he came from the blue.  But what is this blue which surrounds
and envelops us if not reality itself?  We invent nothing, truly.  We borrow and recreate.  We uncover and discover.  All has been given, as the
mystics say.  We have only to open our eyes and hearts and become one with that which IS.”
Henry Miller
Introduction to The Smile at the Foot of the Ladder (which leads to the moon…)
____________
Walking through a lightly falling snow on the LES singing Sublime, “Badfish”….totally oblivious to the cold, loving every minute of the snow…..
WHO SAW THIS COMING?
____________
“The greatest men in the world have passed away unknown.  The Buddhas and the Christs that we know are but second rate heroes in comparison
with the greatest men of whom the world knows nothing.  Hundreds of these unknown heroes have lived in every country working silently.  Silently
they live and silently they pass away: and in time their thoughts find expression in Buddhas or Christs; and it is these latter that become know to us.
The highest men do not seek to get any name or fame from their knowledge.  They leave their ideas to the world; they put forth no claims for themselves
and establish no schools or systems in their name.  Their whole nature shrinks from such a thing.  They are the pure ones, who can never make any stir
but only melt down in love…
The highest men are calm, silent, and unknown.  They are the men who really know the power of thought; they are sure that even if they go into a dark
cave and close the door and simply think 5 true thoughts and then pass away, these 5 thoughts of theirs will live throughout eternity.  Indeed, such thoughts
of theirs will penetrate through the mountains, cross the oceans, and travel through the world.  They will enter deep into human hearts and brains and
raise up men and women who will give them practical expression in the workings of human life.  The Buddhas and Christs will go place to place, preaching
these truths…but these enlightened ones are too near the Lord to be active and to fight, to be working and struggling, preaching, doing good as they say,
here on earth, to humanity…”
Swami Vivekananda
1863-1902
_____________
Did I mention that I have moved out of Grace`s house on the LES and moved over to Grand Street and Crosby in SOHO?
I am living in a HUGE loft with Marianne, JB`s girlfriend, and JB stays a lot too.  It is an excellent place.  I have never lived
anywhere like this in my life.  Totally amazing.
A GIANT room, space of my own.  I have started filling my wall with canvases that I paint.  It is like an art gallery in there…
____________
The creative process is such a fascinating thing…the way it comes about…the visitation of the muse….
Thursday night, maybe 2/24, I took a big mushroom cap, didn`t feel much though, because I was drinking…
2 nights later….Saturday 2/26, I wake up from a delirious sleep–I think I am dreaming, maybe I am–I feel a dark
presence bouncing around my bed, the cat Jade, perhaps–no, my door is closed and locked.  I reach for the lights,
no electricity, I`m enveloped in darkness.  I light a candle.  I look to the top of my bookshelf; impossibly, the dog,
Monkey, is up there…..(??WTF??).  I go to the door of my room and it is stuck closed.  With the illogical nature
of dreams, I shrug all this strangeness off and turn on Radiohead`sAmnesiac and lie down and go back into a
hallucinatory, inner-eyelid-kaleidoscopic, dreamworld where everything is surreal and bizarre.  I am lost on the Astral Plane.
I awaken in the morning with a sense of dutiful obedience to my dreams.  I am irresistibly drawn to going on an
exploratory mission….to find new places, new things, the unexpected….TO CREATE.  And that I do, I draw sketches,
I take amazing photos with my camera AND cell phone and write tiny, minimalist masterpieces.  This is my creative process this week…
(And where did the dog go?  And why does my door open easily now?  The electricity works?  I guess that WAS a dream…)
_____________
“Moonlight Mile”
_____________
Tim threw a snowball at least 70mph at my head…with my ninja-fast reactions I turned my head to the right.  It skimmed my left cheek
and flew directly through the open front door of Freeman`s and hit a customer in the leg.
FUNNIEST SHIT I`VE SEEN IN A LONG WHILE….
_____________
Tim is up in his little apartment above Freeman`s Alley shooting off bottle rockets again, scaring the life out of everyone below…..
(except me, I fucking love it!)
_____________
“He has to be a victim of his passions before he can rise above them.”
Henry Miller
____________
“till 6 in the mornin`….”
“from the black of the night
till the red morning light…”
_____________
“What we dream, we become.  We`ll get the knack of it soon.  We`ll learn how to annihilate the whole planet in the wink of an eye–just wait and see.”
Henry Miller
“The Air-Conditioned Nightmare”
______________
“The world awake.  Humanity on the march.  Nothing can stop it–A conscious humanity, neither exploitable nor pitiable.  Marching!  Going!  They march.
Millions of feet endlessly tramping, treading, pounding, striding, RHYTHMS change.  Quick SLOW staccato, dragging, treading, pounding, striding.
GO>>>>>.  The final crescendo giving the impression that confidently, pitilessly, the going will never stop…projecting itself into space…voices in the
sky, as though magic, invisible hands were turning on and off the knobs of fantastic radios, filling all space, criss-crossing, overlapping, penetrating
each other, colliding, crashing.  Phrases, slogans, utterances, chants, proclamations: China, Russia, Spain, the fascist states and the opposing democracies,
ALL breaking their paralyzing crusts…”
Composer—Edgar Varese (born Paris, died NYC in 1965)  Also known as the “Father of Electronic Music”
describing the theme of an OPUS
I suggest you listen to Arcana and this will mean more to you…
_______________
“Los Angeles gives one the feeling of the future more strongly than any city I know of…a bad future too…”
Henry Miller
“The Air-Conditioned Nightmare”
______________
BUY ONE,
GET NOTHING FREE
______________
“It took me 4 years to paint like Raphael but a lifetime to paint like a child…”
Pablo Picasso
______________
“Meet me at the bank of the beautiful river…”
Winston Rodney
Burning Spear
______________
“Check out the real situation
there ain`t no use,
no one can stop them now…
seems like total destruction
is the only solution…”
“Coming in from the cold…”
Bob Marley
______________
Yes, there are still hustlers on Broadway that set up and play 3-card Monte…
and YES, there are still suckers losing money on it….
______________
“If the moon was made of green cheese, would ya take a bite?
I would….it`d be delicious….”
Will Ferrell doing his hysterical imitation of Harry Caray
______________
ONE MAN RIOT
______________
“The Mothership Connection”
______________
OOMPA LOOMPA HIBBITY HOO….
_______________
“She was headed for LA.  No money, no car.  All the nuts and crackpots seem headed for LA.  And they all travel light, like the birds of the air.”
“It was after much hesitation that I decided to write this book.  For I believe that no man can faithfully, accurately and fully describe a single
instant of his own life in all its intricate meanings and its infinite connections with the universal life.  How, then, is one, no matter what his
talents, to put between the two covers of a book the life of another man, be he an idiot or genius?!  In that respect everything that men relate
of men under the name of `history` is, in my judgement, but so much froth breaking over the surface of the sea which is human life; the depths
remain deep, and the horizons too distant for any pen to plumb, or any brush to paint.  Until this day we have not been able to write the `history`
of any man or anything at all.  Had we written the history of but a single man IN FULL, we should be able to read in it, the history of all men;
and had we recorded FAITHFULLY the story of but one thing, we should discover in it the story of all things…”
“…during this period–too much to do, too much to see, taste and so forth–the past and the future converged with such clarity and precision that not
only friends and books but creatures, objects, dreams, historical events, monuments, streets, names of places, walks, encounters, reveries, half-thoughts,
all came sharply into focus, broke into angles, chasms, waves, shadows, revealing to me in one harmonious, understandable pattern their essence and
significance.
  Where my friends were concerned, I had only to think for a moment in order to evoke a company or a regiment.  Without effort on my part they ranged
themselves in order of magnitude, influence, duration, proximity, spiritual weight and density, and so on.  As they took their stations I myself seemed to
be moving through the ether with the sweep and rhythm of an absent-minded angel, yet falling in with each in turn at exactly the right zodiacal point and at
precisely the destined moment, good or bad, to tune in.  What a medley of apparitions they presented!  Some were shrouded in fog, some sharp as sentinels,
some rigid as phantom icebergs, some wilted like autumn flowers, some racing toward death, some rolling along like drunks on rubber wheels, some pushing
laboriously through endless mazes, some skating over the heads of their comrades as if muffled in luminol, some lifting crushing weights, some glued to
the books in which they burrowed, some trying to fly though anchored with ball and chain, some were suspended like blazing planets, others like cold and
distant stars–all of them, vivid, named, classified, identified according to need, depth, insight, flavor, aura, fragrance, and pulse beat.”
“One could already sense the mummy which the flesh would become.  One could see the bird of ill omen perched on his left shoulder.  One could feel the
moonlight altering his blood, sensitizing his retina, dyeing his skin with the pallor of the prisoner, the drug addict, the dweller on forbidden planets.
Looking deep into his sorrowful eyes, somber, simian eyes, I could see the skull within skull, an endless, cavernous Golgotha illumined by the dry, cold,
murderous light of a universe beyond the imaginative bounds of even the hardiest scientific dreamer.”
Henry Miller
“Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch”
____________
THE FOX IS IN THE HENHOUSE
____________
The most amazing live jazz album ever….
Coltrane at the Village Vanguard with Eric Dolphy in 1962….
Brasilia
Chasin Another Trane
India
Spiritual
Softly as a Morning Sunrise
______________
 
White and gray pigeons fluttering in a blur outside my window in the alley,
with a backdrop of sunlight on red and faded bricks…
_____________
The dead will find me–
and I will see them again too….
____________
“YOU LEAD A USEFUL LIFE NO MATTER WHAT RICHES COME TO YOU”
 a Fortune cookie
____________
“I`m going out of this world the same way I came in…
naked, covered in blood, and screaming….”
Louis at Freeman`s
____________
The dance of the snowflakes against the ancient red bricks…the air vent below actually makes them go back up,
flying by my window in lazy circular patterns…
___________
In the 1880s, it was said in NYC that you could stand on the corner of Broadway and Houston and fire a shotgun
in any direction and not hit an honest man.
I WONDER IF ANYTHING HAS CHANGED….
___________
One more time for Timbo…..
“I DON`T HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM.
I HAVE A STOPPING PROBLEM.”
___________
THE BLUE AT THE HEART OF THE FLAME
this would make a good book title; perhaps one day, I`ll use it…
___________
Eating sushi at Zen and listening to 50 cent on the speaker system  (“….shake that ass, girl!”).  It seems somewhat
incongruous in this setting but somehow I still find it highly amusing….
___________
The Nomadic Museum, Pier 54 on the Hudson River;
made entirely of wood and old shipping containers and beautiful photos of elephants, and birds and people….
like nothing I`ve ever seen.
It is called “Ashes and Snow” and the film, art and photos are by Gregory Colbert.  It is spiritual and sublime….
___________
“These images are a ladder to my dreams,
these images are my letter to you…”
Gregory Colbert
____________
NYC  “a riot of texts, a forest of signs…”
Luc Sante
“Low Life”
___________
INCOMMUNICADO
___________
“We took enough speed to keep Hitler awake in the bunker for 28 days and enough acid to make him think he was in the Austrian Alps.”
“I felt like a two-ton manta ray jumping all the way across the Bay of Bengal.”
Hunter S. Thompson
“Dr. Gonzo”
____________
Friday, March 11th, 2005
“complete disorganization of the senses…a flight into the unknown…”
Thanks Arthur Rimbaud….
the writing is on the wall
I SEE the symbols
voices call to me
from beyond
and from higher places
my concerns are somewhere
else
in another existence
Someday
I will disappear
and you will wonder
but I will live on
in collective memory….
_____________
” `But Morpheus, I can`t help thinking, what if you`re wrong?`
`Then tomorrow they`ll all be dead, but how is that different from any other day?` “
“The Matrix 2”
_____________
“All this talk of disappearance; it`s so strange…”
I hope you never thought I`d want to go out any other way…
____________
East 7th Street sign….
“BURP CASTLE/ Temple of Beer Worship
operated by Brewist Monks since 1022 A.D.”
_____________
Chelsea Market
what a mind-blowing walk-in artwork!
____________
Little 12th St. and Gansevoort….great visuals….
____________
I will NEVER understand why anyone in their right mind would want to go to a stinky gym
on a beautiful, sunny day and walk on a goddamned treadmill!  Just take a walk outside, assholes!
____________
Collect Pond Park–formerly known as Paradise Square, the heart of the infamous Five Points.
History is all but totally erased here, especially the architecture.  A group of homeless people are
trying to catch pigeons, probably to eat (I don`t really want to know for sure…).  Even now, the
squalid poverty still lingers….
____________
“Tough times don`t last, tough people do…”
A sign at the White Horse Tavern
_____________
Winnie`s in Chinatown
_____________
The Ear Inn in Westside SOHO….
4 guys spread out at perfect 3 chair intervals; there is only one left for me at the end of the 3 chair spacing policy…..PERFECT, I`ll take it….
_____________
They say every photo has already been taken…..WRONG!!  They ain`t seen SHIT yet.  Tribeca is bad-ass…..
____________
“I don`t know karate,
but I know CRAZY!!”
James Brown
“The Big Payback”
____________
“If you don`t know where you`re going,
any road will take you there.”
____________
ONE MORE FROM JAMES BROWN AND WE`LL WRAP THIS UP, PEOPLE……..
 
“ONE MORE TIME!
CAN WE HIT IT
AND QUIT?!?”

 

THB3

 

 

STREET JOURNAL 33 AND 34

Standard

By Tom H. Brooks 3

CALM DOWN EVERYBODY; IT`S JUST ME AGAIN…………………….…………………………………………………..

______________
“And I think to myself
what a wonderful world…”
Louis Armstrong
_________________
“Easy like Sunday morning…”
__________________
East 4th Street between Avenue C and Avenue D is an amazing neighborhood…(old buildings…)
_________________
One thing I can tell you about NYC….I never tire of walking or riding around and looking at it…
_____________
“I`m the man on the mountain…”
Rolling Stones  “Loving Cup”
_____________
Here`s a sight for ya….A RAT feeding with the pigeons in broad daylight…
____________
Another quote from “Pep” at McSorley`s…(regarding money…)
“Don`t piss it away, squirrel it away…”
I should listen to him but somehow, I always seem to piss it away….LITERALLY….
____________
Today`s modern age…cellphone camera artists everywhere….
FLASH FORWARD….in mid 2005, I become the best one of them….
____________
Top of 6th Ave (F Train) at Central Park…
my favorite waterfall and pond…I don`t know what this area is called…
_____________
I M
NY
_____________
Coney Island High
_____________
“A man has four things that don`t work on the sea;
anchor, rudder, oars, and a fear of drowning….”
____________
“I`m just trying to do my jigsaw puzzle
before it rains anymore…”
The Rolling Stones
_____________
CLASSIC COFFEE SHOP  (not the most creative of names), however, it is the best spot ever.
It is on Hester Street at Orchard.  Never forget it with its cast of characters…
Carmine–born and bred on the LES(owner)
Nancy–Puerto Rico
Little Johnny–Brooklyn
Tom–Los Angeles
____________________
The roosters of Ludlow at Canal…..(of course, it`s Chinatown)
_______________
Why are you asking when you already knew?
_____________
“I have been too deeply conscious of the mutability and evanescence of temporal things, to give
any continuous effort to anything–to be consistent in anything.  My life has been whim–impulse–
passion–a longing for solitude–a scorn of all things present, in an earnest desire for the future.”
Edgar Allan Poe (Letters)
Personally, I am enjoying the present…
_______________
F Train to Coney Island….escape from New York, indeed…..
_____________
But not really…
____________
 Avenue I in Brooklyn; the BIGGEST graveyard I`ve ever seen in my life…a veritable sea of the dead…
______________
Avenue X….cool name, right?
__________
At long last, I walk barefoot on Brooklyn sands and through Atlantic Ocean waters…not bad at all….
_________
It`s no paradise though and the ghetto appears to be just down the street….the Projects….
_________
Brighton Beach, at first look, reminded me of Long Beach, but only at first look.  I`ll bet it`s about
30 degrees warmer there too.
Brighton Beach also seems to have a big Russian and Ukrainian community….
___________
“I drew a line upon the sand at ebb tide,
and returned to the shoreline later
to find naught upon the sand but my ignorance.”
Kahlil Gibran
___________
“Under the Boardwalk
down by the sea
on a blanket with my baby
that`s where I`ll be…”
__________
Coney Island
glowing white mist
the sun just hangs there
like a silver disk in the sky
like a jewel glittering
through a diaphonous veil
The gulls cry
there is a murmur of Russian languages
the smell of sea salt air
and death festering
in shadows under the boardwalk
where weeds sprout up
through gravel rocks and broken glass
and hope lies twisted
like rust and wrecked metal…
it doesn`t look that romantic
as the song might have you believe
The water shimmers
and there is a blue sky
somewhere beyond the glowing
white sky that covers all
and somewhere out there
lie the endless mysteries of life
Footsteps creaking on wooden planks
autumn leaves
distant construction yelling
metallic
empty and closed carnival rides
like giant dinosaur skeletons
their bones silhouetted
against that sad sky
Desolate avenues
newspapers blow down
quiet streets
The world is always changing
in so many ways
and I change with it….
_________________
Tacos El Rey…Coney Island Avenue
all Mexicans, so it WILL be good…
they let the gringo pick the music
so I chose Vincente Fernandez, Los Tigres del Norte, Lupillo Rivera and Santana…
There were no complaints…
__________________
Coney Island; “SHOOT THE FREAK”  live human target with paintball gun….HA!
___________________
Ahhhhh, I dipped my feet in the Atlantic, wrote an immortal poem, and walked by the sea with lovely Vietnamese Geraldine….
yes, today was a productive day….
The sun set was spectacular, even over the land.  A big arc of a V in the sky with the sun glowing in the middle like a giant
luminescent martini olive….
_____________________________
So, JB and I were at a place in Chelsea, or somewhere around there, who gives a crap? It`s called Bungalow 8.  It is where the
rich and beautiful go to make appearances and linger around, looking cool with drinks in their hands.  We`ve spotted many models,
people in the fashion industry and actors (Owen Wilson and George Clooney, to name a couple).  For me, it is a love/hate
relationship…I like it and yet I don`t.  Which is it?  Again, it doesn`t really matter.  Now JB knows what an asshole I can be when
it comes to disappearing with some chick and I always feel bad about it later, but sometimes, I just can`t help it.  Like this night,
for example.  We were having a fine time, drinking whiskey and leering at the little stinkies that were all around for our viewing
pleasure.  He was off talking to someone he knew and I found myself alone for a moment.  I look across the room and there is
this SEXY little Asian minx with lusty bedroom eyes giving my a withering look and a come-hither hand gesture.  She looked Korean
but I never asked.  I walked over to her, hypnotized, like a moth to a flame.  There was no preamble; she simply said,”You`re coming
with me.”  I, never one to deny myself the finer sensual pleasures, replied, “uhhh, okay.”  And that was it.  No charming witty comments,
no career talk, no `where do you live?` or `are you married?`  Just, “Let`s go.”  Charming and easy as stealing candy from a helpless
baby, her or me being the baby, no matter.  I am a whore and I am not ashamed to say it.  We walked outside and caught a cab.
I thought of JB and what a dick I am for a minute but I knew he`d be okay.  We`ve known each other for like 20 years.  The thought
quickly left my mind when she and I started macking on each other in the back of the cab.  I still didn`t even know her name.  She took me
to the Grammercy Park Hotel, a luxury hotel, incidentally.  She got us a suite and we went upstairs.  Now that I could see her outside
of the club in a better light, I saw that she was indeed, a fine specimen of female sexuality and lust.  She was maybe 28 to 32 years
old and had smooth, silky skin and a lovely figure.  And so, I think you know what happened next, without delay.  A passionate night
of sexual gymnastics, the likes of which I am all too familiar with after all these years, but she was a STANDOUT.  Kinky, active, limber,
really quite flexible indeed, and obviously, NOT shy.  Her name was Genevieve or Jeanine, I forget now, and she was an attorney, here
in NYC.  Well, she fucking took me to COURT.  It was excellent.  There was whiskey and beer and cocaine and raw, unfettered, nasty,
SEX.  I woke up the next morning with her dressed and ready to roll.  She gave me a kiss and said to make sure and check out by 11
so she didn`t get charged for another day.  Oh yeah, and don`t call her, she`ll call me.  “See ya, baby…” and she breezed outta there
like a butterfly on a summer breeze.  I sat there naked in the bed with my poor abused cock, laughing to myself and feeling dirty and
satisfied and happy and ALIVE.  There were two warm beers and a fat line of coke on the table, so I snorted the line drank the beers
and had a shower and checked out.  I walked out into the blinding sunlight.  I feel so used.  EXCELLENT.
(She actually did call again about 4 days later for an encore and she wanted some pot which I gladly brought over to her house.  We had
another romp and then I never saw her again.  Thanks for the good times you little minx….I couldn`t forget if I tried….)
____________________
Freeman`s
Tim Hudock and I are assholes.  We don`t like making tea during service `cause it is so damn busy in that place.  So we smashed all
the teapots against the brick wall in the back room over the course of a week.  Occasionally, an empty champagne bottle also gets
smashed.  Why do we do it?  Hysteria, lunacy, existential angst?  Don`t ask, because I don`t know.  But somehow, I still think it`s funny.
(Sorry, JB, the truth comes out.  You`re too sharp not to have known anyway.  I`m sure you always wondered why your boots were
crunching on all that broken glass back there.  I think Taavo and William would have been a little madder than you would, though.  You always
knew what a crazy bastard I was and am.  Nothing`s changed, baby….except I`m in JAPAN!  Now I`m smashing Japanese teapots! Hai Dozo,
motherfuckers!!)
____________________
Freeman`s, dancing to “Living Thing” by ELO in the kitchen with Marianne and Caroline and Aurora.  The restaurant is packed and we
are on the red wine and dancing.  What kind of workers are we?  The customers love this place.  Hell, JB turned away George Bush`s
daughter and said, “Don`t come back for 4 more years.”
Found Timbo sleeping on a shelf in the back room, ON A FUCKING SHELF, next to a GIANT box of toilet paper with his head nestled
on a roll of TP as a pillow.
Who`s taking care of the customers on the floor?!  Oh yeah….NATHAN>>>>>HA!!
WE ARE ALL CRAZY….
_______________________
I just bought a pack of Portuguese Marlboro Lights for 4 dollars off the back of a truck…..(usual NY price, 8 dollars)
_____________
Stillwell Ave. and Surf Ave.
since 1916
The Original Nathan`s Famous Frankfurters
______________
Lucky Jacks on the LES is a cool spot, newer but nice atmosphere…
______________
I AM sensory overload, IN THE FLESH…
______________
“Seize the Day!”
CARPE DIEM!!
______________
Freeman`s….always with the famous ones, celebrities and media whores…..
Harvey Keitel, Paul Auster, Hugh Jackman, Paris Hilton…..
JB denying George Bush`s daughter has made a buzz on the internet….HA!!
______________
NYC street graffiti…
“STICKING TO THE SPEED LIMIT WON`T GET YOU ANYWHERE”
_____________
The legends are real
_____________
music is the soundtrack to our lives
_____________
We have moved out of the realm of the ordinary and into
the realm of myth and legend….
_____________
“It became legend very quickly and thus joined that body of lore
which nobody cares to upset, since after all, THE LITERAL TRUTH
HARDLY MATTERS.”
Luc Sante
_____________
…on death between lovers….
“Stay for me there!  I will not fail to meet thee in that hollow vale…”
_____________
If you can`t keep up, GET OUT THE WAY!!!
____________
WHEN IT COMES TO SLEEP, I`M A VIKING…
_____________
“….till 6 in the mornin`…..”
____________
After 7 straight days of work, don`t expect me to be sober or nice…
___________
“Red wine for the people,
white wine for the servants,
and rose` for the pigs….”
A French saying
______________
Having a beer in Central Park on a cold, lonely, empty, misty night;
only I would be crazy enough to do this…
______________
The wet ground in Central Park after rain smells like death.  It reminds me of an
ancient graveyard, filled with the residue of rotting flesh.  Awful nasty tonight…
_____________
I took an excellent photo of 3 Puerto Rican boys who wanted to be like black rappers
in Times Square.  Someday, it will be an anonymous masterpiece.  No one will know where it came from…
_____________
Sad dreams in my eyes….
_____________
11/22/04  12:45am
Nobody believes in love anymore….
_____________
The shadow of death
flew over me last night
in my sorrow
Just to taunt me
with His
iron will and
hopeless inevitability….
______________
Fragile
tears
shatter
like
glass
on
cold
dark
asphalt
______________
“Everywhere I look, I see your eyes…”
the Rolling Stones “Angie”
____________
“Is this love baby,
or is this confusion?”
Jimi Hendrix
____________
“No sweeping exits
or offstage lines
could make me bitter
or treat you unkind…
Wild Horses…couldn`t drag me away…”
The Rolling Stones
___________
“Sometimes a Great Notion”
(Sometimes, I find these cryptic scribbles in my books and yet I have no idea who or what they
are about.  Even the words fail to stir up the memories to the point where I can really recall what the
hell was happening.  This is one of those times.  All these lovesick lines and whiny little love quotes
and yet I really have NO FUCKING IDEA who it could have possibly been about.  Possibly memories
from another time gone before.  I KNOW for a fact it wasn`t the two-night stand Korean girl.  So, even
after all my scribbling, things still escape my grasp.  Lost in the mists of time.  This is what excessive
partying, alcohol, and time will do to one`s memory…..lesson learned…….)
____________
“Through the Sun Door”   
____________
NYC Street Graffiti
 SWEATSHOP LABOR
____________
I pull unseen strings
I make things happen
from the shadows
My influence is revealed
with time
as the full moon
bursting from behind
the dark clouds
My talents are realized
as golden leaves
tumbling
on cool powerful wind
through a grove of night trees
Steam floats
eerily out of subway vents
I am one with the entity
that is New York City
I walk through the vast night
and deeper into it….
____________
My own subway car on the W train….a rare thing indeed….
(You see what I mean?  Where the hell was I going?!?  I didn`t even
remember until just now that they HAVE a fucking W train!)
____________
2005 is just a couple of months away, the Year of the Rooster (4080 on the Chinese calendar)….MY year(1969 was the Year of the Rooster also known as the Year of the COCK)
____________
“And you can
send me Dead Flowers every morning
and I won’t forget to put roses on your grave…”
Stones
___________
My laundromat on the LES, the edge of Chinatown….
10 screaming, chattering Chinese men playing Pai Gao….
____________
“Will you still love me tomorrow?”
____________
The problems I`m about to create
are already solved….
____________
Sven (“my neck is cold”), an ANCIENT, old drunken, white-haired Russian man at Holiday Cocktail Lounge
in the East Village, eyes me suspiciously as I write in this book.  He stares at me with his cold, dead, glassy
eyes…..let me tell ya, people….this place is NO HOLIDAY…..
____________
My bitter delirium is SO SWEET….
____________
Zen Sushi, East Village, best stoned sushi dinner EVER…
___________
Where else but NYC could you talk to at least 10 beautiful girls on the street,
eat the most delicious sushi ever, and buy 3 bootleg movie DVDs in Chinatown for
a total of 14 dollars that aren`t even out in the theaters yet?  ALL IN ONE DAY…..
__________
I know, I`m a CHARACTER….
__________
“woman on trip with photographer always gets exposed.”
Modern Chinese Wisdom
__________
Oh, so you think you`re better than me?!?
_________
The Mad Story of a True Man
The True Story of a Mad Man
which is it?
_________
“I am an honest man and if that is to be my undoing, then so be it…
but I WILL NOT GO QUIETLY…”
__________
Slavery has been given another name; EMPLOYEE
__________
I wouldn`t cross the street to piss on you if you were on fire.
___________
The crack of a 24oz Budweiser;
the sound of angels falling from heaven…
___________
THESE LIES TELL MORE TRUTHS
THAN THE FACTS EVER COULD.
___________
“cause I`m a million miles away
and at the same time,
I`m right here in your picture frame…”
Jimi Hendrix
___________
men who don`t watch step get shit on shoes
(a fortune cookie I want to create)
___________
“Art to Choke Hearts”
Henry Rollins
___________
ANGELS FALLING
my soon-to-be-written short story about a lovable Budweiser-drinking, beerdrunk character and his sudden demise under the wheels of a Bud Light truck…irony is everything….
____________
Great Jones Street    ….this street really exists in NYC
WHAT A NAME
____________
I`VE CEASED TO CARE ABOUT ANYTHING;
IT MAKES EVERYTHING SO MUCH EASIER.
____________
U DON`T KNOW ME
____________
remember….
THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE IS WHAT MAKES LIFE WORTH LIVING…
____________
The way these black door guys at the NYC courthouse act, you`d think we were waiting to get into some hot new nightclub or some shit….
____________
AT LEAST I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY…
____________
I get so sick of fighting to survive sometimes…
it is all so goddamned ridiculous…
I think I`d probably be happy on a trailer park stoop, drinking beer and reading a good book…
(only if the ocean was near by…)
____________
I can have fun anywhere….I take the party with me….
___________
So it is said, so it shall be done…
___________
I
ME
MY
NO REALLY, I WANNA TALK ABOUT ME…
___________
On the other hand, I`d rather hear about YOUR problems….please, tell me a story…
___________
What are you afraid of, THE TRUTH?!?
____________
I have now been to all five boroughs of NYC…by recklessly taking random trains just anywhere….
and then I RIDE my skateboard….you know it…Brooklyn, Manhattan, the Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island….
Staten Island Ferry 4:20pm after smoking a fat bowl of green….a moody sky at sunset, hues of purple, blue,
orange, gray….distant bridges, Lady Liberty standing there proud and majestic holding that beer up high in the
sky(torch? Oh, I thought it was a beer…).  Manhattan looms off the bow, minus the twin towers.  I stand on the
bow with a Foster`s Lager, smelling the salt air in the lavender sky and feeling that cool and invigorating wind
blow through my soul, soaking up every moment of this magical time snatched from the vastness of this seemingly
endless city….this moment, forever mine alone….
__________________
A constant state of departure is the secret to long term travel for the poor man….
_____________
Because
U
Deserve
What
Every
Individual
Should
Enjoy
Regularly
_____________
You can`t stop me….
I`m a JUGGERNAUT…
____________
Another couple sections of town that I made up…
TUBBO= Trees Under Brooklyn Bridge Overpass
ELITA= East of Little Italy
_____________
“TV and nightmares have joined forces to teach me a lesson.”
Homer Simpson
____________
Today was the most action-packed day of my life (so far)….I`ve seen more of NYC in one day than most of the natives
of this city will see in their whole goddamned lives….
____________
“When the shit goes down, ya better be ready…”
Cypress Hill
___________
“Certainty is the disease of kings…”
___________
Jedi mind tricks….
___________
Fat Cats in a White House
__________
Regarding Freeman`s Taxidermy….
I killed `em all and stuffed `em myself…(I`ve actually been telling people this…)
__________
Bouncing off the walls….
___________
I am going to open a nightclub in Mechanic`s Alley called CHUMBO  (Chinese Hotties Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass)
___________
“These songs of freedom,
is all I ever had…”
Bob Marley
___________
“Cinema is the shelter of time.”
Jean-Luc Godard
___________
Tiffany at Freemans…Tuesday night  (she must have been sexy for me to write it down but I can`t remember the least little thing about her…)
___________
If I could have caught your eye
things might have been different
but by the dreamy look
in your faraway eyes
I guessed you were elsewhere
untouchable
If you had looked my way
with a subtle smile
a sidelong glance
two worlds could have
merged
separate universes
become as one
greater than before
One night
we could have
forgotten our problems
New suns
could have exploded
The moon
could have set in the east
The stars could have
blinked out one by one
The night could have
gone on forever…
_____________
“I think I knew the reason but I can`t spell it.”
From an LA, Doors street photo from 1969
_____________
Found one of those tile Space Invaders on Mott Street between Prince and Spring in SOHO.
This same guy does these all over the globe.  I`ve seen them in LA too on Wilshire
across from LACMA and on the rooftop of the Downtown Standard Hotel…
____________
“MAKE SURE YOUR SHOES ARE TIED, MOTHERFUCKER!!”
Nathan Grigolla
____________
Cherry Street and Market Slip
___________
I walked by about 100 Federal Marshals in jogging sweatsuits on the Staten Island Ferry.  I breezed
by them super stoned and buzzed with my skateboard as they all wordlessly stared at me….
__________
98 Mott Street ….Grand Harmony
__________
Naiying….A sexy Taiwanese chick with a Brooklyn accent that I met at Freeman`s.  She carved her cellphone number in a pencil and gave it to me.
After all that effort, of course I called her.  And I sure am glad I did….
__________
Barrio Chino on Broome Street…
__________
“Everybody wants me to be what they want me to be,
I`m not happy when I try to fake it…”
The Commodores
___________
“It`s hard to imagine
that nothing at all
could be so exciting
could be this much fun…”
Talking Heads
“Heaven”
__________
May the force be with you….SCUMBAG….
__________
ONE MAN RIOT
__________
DAMAGE ADDICT
__________
GREAT SCOTT!  HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING!
__________
3:12 am, skateboarding through Chinatown and BUSTED a sign into a million pieces with my fist….what an asshole…..
__________
“The Labyrinth of Solitude”
__________
“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.”
Isaac Asimov
__________
FICTIONAL CONVERSATIONS ARE OFTEN THE BEST…
but not always….
I was eating alone at Zen Sushi when these two sexy babes from Israel asked me to join them.
Their names were Rain and Jessica, and before I sat down with them, they had been speaking Hebrew.
This is my life in NYC.  Poor, poor, poor me…..
___________
GRIND YOUR ORGAN, LITTLE MONKEY…
__________
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I`ll tell you tomorrow…
__________
“What`s the difference between George W. Bush and a bucket of shit…?”
The Bucket…..HA!!!
__________
So this man and this woman were sitting in the waiting room of a divorce lawyer`s office.  The man was fairly handsome and the lady
was quite a sexy dish and they couldn`t seem to stop eyeballing each other.  Finally, the lady decided to be the first to say something….
“Why are you getting divorced?  I mean, if you don`t mind my asking.”  The man hesitated and then said, “Well, it`s kind of embarrassing,
but if you really want to know, I`ll tell you.  My wife thinks that I am a pervert…too raunchy, as it were.”  The woman gasped in delighted
surprise….”OOOhhhhhh, migod….!  That is EXACTLY why my husband is divorcing me!  He thinks I`m a slutty gutterwhore…!”
“Well, how about that?”  the man cooly replied.
“I thought you looked like a pervert,” she jokingly said.
“Oh, believe me, I am….ha, heh, heh…” he responded.
“Perhaps, we could get together for some `fun time` after this unpleasant legal business is concluded, ” the woman suggested.
“I`m all for it,” he said.  A little later, after their respective lawyer appointments, they jumped in their cars and he followed her
to her house.  Her husband had already moved out.  They went inside.  She told him to relax, got him a cocktail and said, “I`m
gonna go slip into something a little more comfortable.”
“Alright, whatever,”  the man said.
A little while later, she came out in a black leather, crotchless bodysuit complete with a little peekaboo for the bunghole.  She even
had a gimp mask and a whip and brutal-looking high heels.  The man was sitting calmly on the couch, looking disinterested.
She said, “Are you ready for me?”
He said, “Ready for what, woman?  I shit in your purse and fucked your dog–I`m outta here….”
__________________________
It`s not that some people couldn`t do it the way I do;
it`s just that THEY DON`T ….
____________
WHEN I AM GONE,
JUST KNOW THAT I GAVE YOU ALL
I COULD OF MYSELF….
____________
“I know the pieces fit
cause I watched them fall away…”
Tool
___________
“Can I say something to you?  I`ve always been considered somewhat of an asshole
for as long as I can remember.  That`s just my style.”
“Royal Tenenbaum”
________________
“I don`t have a drinking problem; I have a STOPPING problem.”
Tim Hudock
______________
“All poems are occasional,
the products of circumstance.”
Goethe
____________
SEE YOU IN REHAB
____________
SCREWHEAD
___________
“EVERYBODY IS STUPID;
THAT`S WHY EVERYBODY DOES EVERYTHING.”
Homer Simpson
___________
“Telling a story realistically is such a slowpoke and ponderous way to proceed, and it doesn`t fulfill
the psychic needs that people have.  We sense that there`s more to life and to the universe than
realism can possibly deal with.”
Stanley Kubrick
____________
preemptive strike…..” a cocktail, forkface?”
____________
Another hot Chinese babe…this time, her name is Ying Li.   All these yings that wanna play with my yang,
so I guess we`ll just go and bang, and then I can come up with some new slang, and then maybe later we`ll hang….
____________
A lady at a club called Happy Ending, (it used to be a massage parlor….REALLY….they still have the shower rooms in there)
she said, “Is there something I can help you with tonight?”  my reply…..”only if you have some coconut oil handy.”
_____________
REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS
_____________
A dead pigeon, brained on Orchard Street.  Its head was probably eaten by rats…..charming…..
eating lunch together one minute, next thing you know they are eating your brains….
______________
sunny and snowing?!?
______________
Frozen lakes are beautiful
_____________
“Once you have given up the ghost, everything else follows with dead certainty, even in the midst of chaos.”
“It is apparent that one may shed his skin again and again and never lose his identity.”
“STAND STILL LIKE THE HUMMINGBIRD.”
Henry Miller
______________
Codes, hidden symbols, secret signs, intricate and clever messages are EVERYWHERE on the walls in NYC…
the mystery of history is alive and well….
_________________
My Prophecy…
I believe that one day in the not-too-distant future, when humans have regressed to a semi-barbaric, post-modern form of existence, something
like Mad Max, people will look upon the ruins of our massive bridges, intricate facades, and giant skyscrapers with fascination, awe and wonder;
some feeling akin to the one we have now exploring the pyramids or a lost Mayan ruin.
THE COURSE OF TIME SHALL TURN EVERYTHING INTO MYSTERY.
_____________
Shadows of night
descending
across the land
The streetlights flicker on
across the city
as neon snakes slither
through glassy dark corridors
describing serpentine patterns
through puddles of cold night water
Faces float through the night
like candle flames
in a procession to eternity,
going everywhere and nowhere at once
The City hums
vibrant
alive
A beating pulse
at the center of everything
ticking off the seconds of time
like blood flowing
through a trillion capillaries,
red rivers of life
going on and on
through the Matrix
miles and miles
never stopping
Talking heads
seeing eyes
the infinite faces of this,
this one Humanity
notorious
for all its creations
all its faults
all its wonder
The river flows
the moon rises
the music goes on
the flames burn
and I walk
smooth and silent
and content
through it all…
Written on 11/27/04 at the zinc bar countertop at Freeman`s
with people lurking around and behind me….
________________
The F train, still my favorite…Coney Island on one end, Central Park on the other,
and my apartment  right in the middle…..PERFECT.
______________
I wanna be an artwork ……..
(this actually came true a few months later.  My roommate, Grace, liked to make single line drawings that were
really quite good.  She did one of me and put it in a gallery show in Tribeca.  It SOLD….HA!  Somewhere in NYC
on somebody`s wall, there hangs a picture of my clown face. )
______________
“Don`t worry, your secrets are safe with me….”
______________
“Fortune favors the bold.”
Virgil
“The Aeneid”
________________
“If you don`t have anything bad to say about a relationship, you shouldn`t say anything at all.”
George Costanza
___________
12/1/04  2:30am
JB and I are at some rich dude`s place on the LES.  It could be called a loft but really, it is an old, vaudeville theatre
from 1895, seats and stage intact.  He lives backstage.  It is spectacular.  A fucking time warp, man…
_________________
Larger than Life
_______
A newspaper tornado swirls around me and the Chinese kids as I walk up Orchard at 3pm.
_______
“Re-elect Clinton
Better blowjobs than no jobs”
_________
many things are destroying us all
__________
We deserve the government we allow
_________
Be the change you seek
__________
The System is whack
_________
I love pointing and yelling on busy NYC street corners when I have a nice fast walk going,
“Don`t break my pace! DON`T BREAK MY PACE!!”
The funny thing is that a lot of people just stop and stare and get out of my way.
__________
rambling after midnight
__________
“Very superstitious
writings on the wall
very superstitious
ladder`s `bout to fall…”
Stevie Wonder
__________
Every night I am walking home from somewhere and every night I can stop and say to myself,
“I`ve never seen THIS block before.”
__________
43 degrees Fahrenheit is starting to seem warm to me…
__________
“Urban sprawl does not care about the experience of its inhabitants.  Sprawl has but a single interest: self-replication.”
__________
Friday,12/3/04  High atop a hill in Central Park (at 108th Street) on a stone altar of some sort.  I`m having a brew in 1pm sunlight and staring at the water rippling on the lake.
By the end of the day, I had walked throughout the entire park from the top northeast corner in Harlem to the bottom southwest corner at Columbus Square…
__________
C`mon baby, gimme some sugar….
_________
“…first the sugar, then the power, then the women…”
Homer Simpson
_________
The Ramble…Central Park
emptiness, wind through slender winter trees, desolation, a lake, reeds, bird-watching heaven, old black lampposts, winding paths, dead leaves rustling…
Sitting in a warm sunbeam as the sun shimmers with crystal-white intensity on the murky green waters; a stone bridge (Bow Bridge), a rowboat with mother and young son,
distant laughter of children, a moment stolen from Monet, an Impressionist impression, a waking dream.  Paintings could not do this moment justice, photography is too easy,
(even the ducks agree), music could not capture its raw essence, etched forever in my mind`s eye, carved in the stone of the moment, sculpted on the mountainsides, rolling
with the waves on the sea, yea, I daresay, even words cannot explain certain moments in time that will forever be mine alone.  The sparrows surround me now like St. Francis
as I sit here scribbling in my little book and all is well with the world…
__________
Saturday night, 10pm    111 Wooster, Penthouse C….Amanda, Vivian and Melanie….and me….things could be a lot worse….
__________
A guy at the end of the B train, playing trumpet Xmas carols as the train FLIES through the tunnel at 70mph….surreal, strange….
__________
THESE LIES TELL MORE TRUTHS
THAN THE FACTS EVER COULD
_________
THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE IS TRUE.
THE PRECEDING SENTENCE IS FALSE.
_________
I was so goddamned high today that I couldn`t seem to find Chinese food in fucking Chinatown!  How does THAT work?!
So, I just bought `Cup O Noodles` and went home and drenched it in Vietnamese garlic red pepper sauce…
_________
And again, I say….the crack of a fresh 24oz can of Budweiser is the sound of ANGELS FALLING FROM HEAVEN….
_________
“When in Rome, do as the Romans”
_________
“If you have built castles in the air, that is where they should be.  Now put foundations under them.”
Henry David Thoreau
_________
“You do not know me if you think I am afraid, or that I build my burrow simply out of fear…”
Franz Kafka
_________
Jade, brightly glowing green in easy Sunday morning sunlight…
________
“Take the A Train”
Duke Ellington
_________
I got to ride a VERY old subway train (1931) all the way to 57th Street on my way to Inwood.  It was an R-1 type car 3816 Special from Whitehall Street.
It was amazing, the lights would blink out in certain sections of the tunnel, there were old-school stylings all over including a lot more wood than plastic.
There were even old color drawing advertisements…..vintage, indeed…..
__________
“SOMETIMES THERE ARE SHEETS IN A SKETCHBOOK WHICH, ALTHOUGH THEY ARE MORE OR LESS SCRIBBLES, NEVERTHELESS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.”
Vincent Van Gogh
__________
The A Train to 207th Street Station
On the wall, it says, “At Long Last”
Indeed….
___________
Harlem River Budweiser at 3pm; the Bronx is across the river….
Inwood; 207th Street and Cooper; excellent graffiti art and a giant, solid rock with trees on it in the middle of a block of tenements….
Northern birch woods, slender silhouettes in 3:40pm sunlight, dead leaves, a scene from an Edvard Munch painting
Alone in a Norwegian Wood…
I think I`ll call this park Deadman`s Trail and Devil`s Triangle.
Black plague squirrels follow me down dreary and shady lanes that smell of fungus and moss and death, strewn with wet leaves…
A GIANT blue & white on the black wall of the palisades across the way in the Bronx…
Under Henry Hudson Bridge…
Finally, as I round the bend in southwest Inwood, I have a full view of the Hudson River and New Jersey across the river and beyond…
I have seen all the rivers of Manhattan this Sunday, 12/5/04.  The sunset greets me as I come `round the bend.  Next stop…Central Park…
Sunday afternoon miracle
The NYC places that I walk are hidden and remote hideaways…locations probably never before trodden by a Los Angeles native.  I would
even go so far as to say that a lot of New Yorkers have not even been to the places I go…
“Watch me!  Watch me!  I got it!  Heeeeeyyyyy!  I got soul, and I`m SUPERBAD….”
James Brown
F Train…heading downtown….3 incredible subway break dancers grooving to the aforementioned song….
_____________
“Where the fuck have you been?”
I`m sorry, I was caught between the moon and New York City…..
______________
135 Bowery….between Grand and Broome
______________
Walking through NYC on a dreary and rainy day, listening to Miles and Coltrane, “Kind of Blue”……….PERFECT…….
____________
t-shirt on a sexy chick…..
S U G A R P U S S Y
____________
Yeah, right….and I`m the King of Old Siam…..
____________
…face like a Christmas Ham…….
____________
I`m looking all around me now for side tunnels and grottoes because of this book, “The Mole People.”  I find myself squinting out
the window of subway trains now, staring into the endless darkness, trying to catch a glimpse of a fleeting figure in the shadows,
a brief look at life in the city          the streets…….
                                         below
____________
“Behold!  Human beings living in an underground den…like ourselves, they see only their own shadows, or the shadows of one another,
which the fire throws on the opposite wall of the cave.”
Plato
“The Republic”
____________
“You can always disappear when no one is looking.”
NYC cocktail napkin
___________
Life is often so simple if you just LET IT be simple…
___________
“Think of yourself as an undervalued asset that`s about to go public.”
____________
Classical music rainy day (12/7/04) at Astor Place/Lafayette Starbucks.