by Tom H. Brooks 3
This one has more quotes than original writing, but bear with me. There will be plenty more original writings to come, trust me… It`s all part of a bigger picture, an autobiography of sorts…….. Stay tuned for the Mexico Journals…
A FINE MESS
“And if our hands
should meet in some
we shall build another
tower in the sky…”
“Well, I`m a 6.7 on the Richter Scale…”
The Beastie Boys
THE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING
To a Chinese Girl Singing
“We traveled down the still river
in the evening,
the acacia stood in the color of rose,
casting its light;
the clouds cast down the rose light
but I scarcely saw them.
All I saw
were the plum blossoms in your hair.
You sat smiling
in the bow of the garlanded boat,
held the lute in your skillful hands,
sang the song,
that holy country of your own,
while your eyes promised fire–
and you were so young.
Without saying anything
I stood at the mast,
and what I wanted for myself
was to give in to those
over and over…
to listen to the song forever
in blessed pain,
to the song that could make me happy,
tangled in your delicate hands.”
I just saw a cop car with a big, F A T lady officer of some kind behind the wheel.
There was a sign in the back window that said OUT OF SERVICE. Call me crazy
but for some reason I find this highly amusing.
Some kind of a Mexican/Indian music festival down at Olvera Street. Drums, Aztec
regalia, feathered head dresses etc… pretty amazing stuff. I walk along, observing,
and I am lost in thought, my mind is in a faraway land in another time.
Coke party at Spoon`s house…pure chaos…whiskey, wine and women. I end up
somewhere in the house for a private strip show from a Japanese girl with little
powder-blue panties. I`m getting emotional. HA HA HA HAPPY
“Have peace now until the morning. Heed no nightly noises. For nothing passes
door and window here save moonlight and starlight and the wind off the hill-top.”
Somehow, I have found myself lost in the neuropsychiatric ward at UCLA Medical
Center…How the fuck did I get in here? I must be lost…or maybe I`ve been committed!
No, none of the above, just looking around. UCLA campus has some hot babes, after all.
Earlier, I spoke of a Mexican Festival on Olvera Street downtown and I said I didn`t
know what it was. Now I do, via the LA Times. It was the Feast of Our Lady of
Guadalupe, the start of the Christmas season for Mexican Catholics. Dec. 12, 1531
is the date they say the Virgin Mary appeared in Guadalupe, Mexico.
“Every minute that passes is another chance to turn it all around…”
“The subconscious is a very powerful thing.”
“THIS IS A REVOLUTION OF THE MIND”
“I do not consider myself less ignorant than most people. I have been and still
am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to
listen to the teachings my blood whispers to me. My story is not a pleasant one;
it is neither sweet nor harmonious as invented stories are; it has the taste of
nonsense and chaos, of madness and dreams–like the lives of all men who
stop deceiving themselves…”
Massive piles of dung
floating to the ocean shore
no reason to live
a haiku by Jason May
The definition of urban explorer…
“I am making a reverse commute to the already explored land that has become,
through negligence, through exploitation, and its own chaotic persistence,
I just saw a FAT raccoon on a Friday night in the bushes at the side of Sunset Blvd.
just a few feet away from all the drunken party people. He`s a bold one.
I leave Sunset and go for another all night ride to the beach. I am on the #4 bus on Santa Monica Blvd.
I am immediately accosted by a gaggle of aggressive homos. The very brief exchange is as follows:
In his sassy gay-boy lisp,”Why are your hands in your pockets? What`s really going on?”
“It`s cold, man…”
“Why don`t you come here and put `em in MY pockets…he he he…”
“uuuhhh, no thanks.” And I hurry away to the back of the bus to sit next to a sleeping bum who smells
funny. Later, I am harassed by a Euro cling-on woman from Poland. I only know this because she
told me without my asking. She went on and on about this and that, I wasn`t really listening, just
nodding and smiling. She had her two kids with her, a boy and a girl, about 9 and 13 years old.
She wouldn`t stop talking until I ditched her in Santa Monica. However, the daughter was polite and
looked somewhat mortified by her mother`s obnoxious behavior. Sometimes, they started arguing in
Polish and I wonder if the daughter was telling her to shut up and leave me alone. I guess I`ll never
know. Look, mom is staring at me again right now with her frizzy blond hair and her crazy eyes.
I can`t write another word. Thank god, my stop is coming up soon….I`m outta here…C-YA…..
The first thing I see is a palm tree lit up and framed against a velvet-black clear sky
peppered with vivid silver stars. Ahhh, FREEDOM…the rest of what I did, you can probably
guess, you know the pattern…
“A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius”
I just saw a motorcycle cop giving a ticket to a hearse.
However, I figure the recently deceased corpse inside
isn`t too worried about it…
“May there be a light for you
in dark places when all other lights go out”
“Nobody asks to be a hero.
Sometimes it just turns out that way.”
Hollywood, Saturday night
I am taking a little evening walk and in just 5 minutes
I saw a car accident, a crystal meth drug arrest, a fight,
homos cruising, and a car tire exploding like a gunshot as
it ran over a curb. The fun never stops in Hollywood.
Technical know-how is important in any endeavor, however,
there is something to be said for the gut feeling, the blind
impulses of artistic vision…
“Riding the Tiger
Reaping the Whirlwind”
“Only those who believe
ever see what they dream.”
“The future belongs to those who believe
in the beauty of their dreams.”
“Seems like I`ve been here before
seems so familiar
seems like I`m slipping
into a dream within a dream…”
“Yeah, so roses are red
I made up the rest,
if you got some big fuckin` secret
why don`t you tell ME something?!
I`m in the midst of a trauma
leave a message, I`ll call you back,
leave it by the bed….
Some people should die
that`s just unconscious knowledge…
It gets out from my eye
like an eagle`s cry…..”
Jane`s Addiction—Perry Farrell–Live at the Roxy
“I should be out there walking
nobody stopping to bother me
All fronts and no backs
give me My Time
let me be outside…”
Conversation with strange old black guy on #204 bus on Vermont…heading south:
He says,”What you reading?”
I show him.
“How long`s that gonna take ya?”
“A couple of days,” I respond.
“You can`t take it for granted, right?”
“Right,” I said.
He then got really random, “My back hurts.”
“I`m sorry to hear that, man.”
“You know how it is when you got the calling.”
I said,”Yes, I do.”
“I hate being phased out.”
“I hear ya, who doesn`t?”
“My back hurts.”
I don`t know what to say anymore so I don`t respond.
However, this talk has left me with a feeling of melancholy.
“We watch the crowd. Everyone is talking. People have come with friends and are talking with the friends
they`ve come with. They are out with people from work. They are looking into the faces they see everyday
and are saying things they`ve said a hundred times. Like us, they have in their hands beer that has been
brewed on the premises. Their mouths are moving, but their words are only groans, one continuous, monotonal
groan, a sort of mooing, punctuated by the occasional squeal,`oh my god!”
There`s too many of them, of us, too many, too similar. What are they all doing here? All this standing, sitting,
talking. There isn`t even a pool table, darts, anything. Just this loitering, lolling, this drinking of beer in thick
glasses. Something needs to happen. Something huge. The taking over of something, a building, a city,
a country. Or rioting. Or no; an orgy. There should be an orgy. All these people–we should close the doors
and dim the lights and be naked together. We are wasting this.”
“A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius”
My life is My Art.
“Good artists exist in what they make, and consequently are perfectly uninteresting in what they are.
A great poet, a really great poet, is the most unpoetical of all creatures.
But inferior poets are absolutely fascinating…they live the poetry they cannot write.”
THE EAGLE HAS LANDED
“Death, like so many great movies, is sad. The young fancy themselves immune to death. And why shouldn`t they?
At times, life can seem endless, filled with belly laughs and butterflies, passion and joy, and good,cold beer.
Of course, with age comes the solemn understanding that forever is but a word. Seasons change, love withers,
the good die young. These are hard truths, painful truths–inescapable but, we are told, necessary. Winter begets
Spring, night ushers in the dawn, and loss sows the seeds of renewal. It is, of course, easy to say these things,
just as it is easy to, say, watch a lot of television. But, easy or not, we rely on such sentiment. To do otherwise
would be to jump without hope into a black and endless abyss, falling through an all-enveloping void for all eternity.
Really, what`s to gain from saying that the night only grows darker and that hope lies crushed under the jackboots
of the wicked? What answers do we have when we arrive at the irreducible realization that there is no salvation in
life, that sooner or later, despite our best hopes and most ardent dreams, no matter how good our deeds and truest
virtues, no matter how much we work toward our varied ideals of immortality, inevitably the seas will boil, evil will
run roughshod over the earth, and the planet will be left a playground in ruins, fit only for cockroaches and vermin.
There is a saying favored by clergymen and aging ballplayers; Pray for Rain. But why pray for rain when it`s
raining hot, poisoned blood?”
Christmas Eve 2001
I stagger up the street with a big Subway sandwich and a 40oz of beer. Merry Xmas Everyone.
This one`s for the forgotten.
Just heard a perfect Xmas moment;
An old man in a wheelchair yelling at his old wife; “Goddamn, fucking lazy-ass woman!!”
He had a gravelly and grumpy old man`s voice. I`m about to break into a chorus of Bing Crosby`s
“White Christmas.” Once again, Season`s Greetings…and god bless us one and all…..
HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS
…”the delicate genius….”
George Costanza freakout on “Seinfeld”
“In my dreams I`m dying all the time…”
“See the storm has broken
in the middle of the night
nothing left here for me
it`s washed away
the rain pushes the buildings aside
the sky turns black–the sky,
watch it fog, push it out to sea
there`s nothing left here for me
I watch it lift up to the sky
I watch it crush me and then I….die…
Speak to me, baby,
in the middle of the night
put your mouth close to mine
I can see the wind coming down
like black night
so speak to me
like the winds outside
hear the rain fall
see the wind come to my eyes
see the stone broken
speak to me, baby,
in the middle of the night
speak to me
hold your mouth to mine
`cause the sky is breaking
it`s deeper than love
I know the way you feel
like the rains outside
so speak to me…”
“I felt a gratuitous urge, as I often do with such people, to shake her and scream the truth in her face,
`You`re a useless, ugly piece of meat! Your life has been desperate and abominable so far, and it`s
only going to get worse, so stop fucking kidding yourself!` A conflicting mass of emotions, I was
actively despising someone while simultaneously planning their seduction. It was only later that I
acknowledged with some horror and shame, that these feelings didn`t really conflict at all.”
“The Acid House”
“I wouldn`t cross the street to piss on you if you were on fire.”
“Let me tell you about heartache
and the loss of God
in hopeless night.
Out here on the perimeter
there are no stars
we is stoned
is a will to power
“Let`s plan a murder
or start a religion…
“Can you give me Sanctuary?
I can`t make it anymore…
The Man is at the door….”
“They are waiting to take us
into the Severed Garden.
Do you know how pale & wanton
thrillful comes death on a strange hour
Death makes angels of us all
and gives us wings
where we had shoulders
smooth as raven`s claws.
No more money
No more fancy dress
This other Kingdom
seems by far the best….”
“Being happy was like being home.”
“The Happy Isles of Oceania”
the line between
madness and dreams
is a very thin line indeed
I feel that I am about
to define it
with terrifying clarity
from “The Simpson`s”
Homer Simpson The 5 Stages of Death; (He goes through all 5 stages in 30 seconds)
Denial “Well, you can forget that `cause I`m not dying!”
Anger ” You son of a `@`++##%()>><fu##***!!
Bargaining “Doc, please, you gotta get me outta this…”
Depression “AAAwww, I can`t believe I`m going–I`m too young to die…”
Acceptance ” Oh well, we all gotta go sometime.”
John Lennon to Muhammed Ali
“Champ, the more real you get, the more unreal it`s gonna get…”
“Every man dies but not every man really lives.“
“May the stars shine upon the end of your road.”
“Death smiles at us all. All you can do is smile back.”
“It`s only after you`ve lost everything
that you`re free to do anything.”
“Completely indifferent to everything, happy in a pile of shit. Hard to find
a creature that cared for the company of cockroaches, hard to find a cockroach
WHEN NO ONE IS WATCHING
WE ARE INVISIBLE
SO WHAT IF I`M INSANE?
IT`S MORE FUN THAN TELEVISION.
“Lost in a Roman
wilderness of pain
and all the children
for the summer rain
The blue bus is calling us
driver where you taking us…?”
“Destiny is preordained not by some universal force but rather by linked events
and individual perception of existence. Only when a life is fully unfolded can we
see the flaws in our perception; beforehand, the fourth dimension of existence
remains a mystery.”
“Snapshooting is not, by definition, a low and ignorant art. Weegee and Cartier-Bresson
are perfect examples. Any man who can see what he wants to get on film, will usually
find some way to get it; and a man who thinks his expensive equipment is going to see
for him is not going to get much of anything.”
Hunter S. Thompson
“The Proud Highway”
DON`T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS
“A lion and a man were walking along a path together when they came across a large
stone at the side of the road. On the stone was carved a picture of a hunter pinning
a frightened lion to the ground. The man pointed to the carving and said jokingly,
`there`s proof that men are stronger than lions.` But the lion just smiled. `Not at all,`
he replied. `If lions could carve, you would find many pictures of men being eaten.` “
“Did you have a good world when you died?
Enough to base a movie on?”
“I was so much older then,
I`m younger than that now…”
I have a friend who got hit by an ambulance last week,
but he`s ok, of course, `cause he got a real fast ride
directly to the hospital, sirens and all…..
I`m leaving for Mexico real soon now.
If there`s one thing I won`t miss in LA,
it`s the FUCKING car alarms. Don`t
you get it people?! NO ONE CARES
if your car gets stolen. It just wakes us up….
“When you`re right, no one remembers;
when you`re wrong, no one forgets….”
“If you don`t gamble,
you`ll never win…”
“The Longest Journey begins with but a single step…”
I wanna open a strip club in Mexico…
the name will be
…but it`ll probably never happen anyway…
LEAP OF FAITH
“I`d never want to be a member of a club
that would have me as a member.”
“For a minute there
I lost myself…”
The jig is up
The fat is in the fire….
To be continued…