by Tom H. Brooks 3
I`d tell ya, but you wouldn`t believe it…….
damn! if I hadn`t seen it wit my own two eyes!!
Be warned: If you are a lightweight, this WILL offend you. Some of the things that are written here, even I have NO IDEA what I was talking about…
That`s mighty kind of ya, suh….
Send in the clones….
“I told him, ` Nigga, if you can`t fuck yourself a 10, you might as well do 5 2s….`you know what I`m saying?”
Am I allowed to be obnoxious once in a while
or do you want to me to tell you pretty little stories
and blow sunshine up your ass?
“Don`t piss on my back and tell me it`s raining…”
New Moon in a New Year….
“People don`t always send messages in order to communicate the truth, Mr. Okada,
just as people don`t always meet others in order to reveal their true selves. Do
you grasp my meaning?” suh?
An endless line of old people filing slowly into the Downtown library…
I say, “I wonder where this line is going….”
A little old lady next to me says,”Don`t worry, you`ll get there…be patient.”
A hint of prophecy, perhaps? She was right. I WILL get there.
“Strange Days have found us…”
I have no recollection of that.
I don`t know.
I might have been drinking at the time.
In fact, it`s very likely that I was.
Call my attorney.
That will never hold up in court.
No more questions at this time.
Don`t ask me to turn off the natural charm `cause it`s NOT gonna happen…
Oh, sure, stop everything! Let me solve your problems for ya. We just want to make sure YOU are happy.
Do you want a star on your door? Do ya? Do you want me to put your kids through college for ya? Maybe
I should come over to your house and wash your car. Give your wife a massage while I`m at it? Make you
a fucking sandwich? Huh? Why not? While we`re on this train of thought, why don`t I go ahead and get you
some first class tickets to London on Virgin Air? Send you to Vegas, maybe, get you a suite at the goddamned
Mirage? Tickets to a Wayne Newton show, front row? Oh yeah, that`ll make ya feel better. Maybe the sun
will be shining this weekend and I`ll take ya out to the ballgame and buy you a Dodger dog and some beer
and ice cream for the kids. Would you like me to paint your house for you? Shoe shine, suh? Park your
car? I`m a very good driver, suh? Maybe you`d like me to send your mother a Christmas card and a bouquet
of flowers. What? 2 tickets to Bora Bora? A ski trip to the Alps? Dinner in Rome? Fishing in the Sea of
Cortez? Jump down turn around pick a bale o` cotton? You want the number to my Cayman Islands bank
account too? The key to my Benzo and the key to the city? What? What the fuck can I do to MAKE YOU
HAPPY? Of course, that`s all I`m here for, to make sure that YOU ARE HAPPY….
(If you`re wondering what the hell the above is all about, it is funny drunken babbling from Yucca Estates with
Dave and I and Blake and Bateman. We went on like this for hours; believe me, this is the Reader`s Digest version…)
I`m not gonna just stand here pissing into the wind…
“In a place far away from anyone or anywhere, I drifted off for a moment.”
December 11, 2001 Afternoon…
There`s an airplane high up in the air carving smoky giant peace signs in the sky. There`s a lot of them
stretched far to the south as if he`s come all the way from San Diego…
“Drugs are harmless if you don`t use them.”
Bazooka Joe (I got this in some bubblegum, and I laughed for 10 minutes. He`s right, of course…)
A homeless person in a tent just told us to shut the fuck up because the three of us (Eden, Dave and I)
were yelling calls of the wild into the downtown LA streets. We were making A LOT of noise.
Dead Kennedys is blaring on the radio (“Too Drunk to Fuck”) and I am choking and retching over a toilet at 7am.
Now that is the way to wake up.
BEAT RUSH HOUR
LEAVE AT NOON
“I got my finga on the trigga
and niggas wonda why,
`cause livin` in the city
it`s do or die…”
Dre and Snoop
“I`ll make ya famous like Amos”
“You better recognize!”
“I`m in your face!”
“Carry on then…..tit tat teri o……”
you gotta say this with a British accent for it to be funny….
ONLY USERS LOSE DRUGS
NO REST FOR THE WICKED
What are all those strange tweeting birds that gather by the hundreds on electrical wires?
And why don`t they get electrocuted?
How does that work?
Moody grey, blue, and green sea with whitecaps, blowing foam in a vicious wind. She`s angry today.
There are low hanging clouds tinged with purple and shredded across a bleak and gloomy sky. The
ocean just sits there as always, and brings me a feeling of peace in the eye of the storm.
The sound of the breeze blows through my empty skull.
Buffeted by a gale force wind.
Watching seagulls and pelicans effortlessly float on the wind, almost as if they are doing it just for fun…
I love these friends dwelling here at Yucca Estates, this classic and strange
cast of characters we have assembled for the 24/7 show which needs no rehearsal.
“I love the friends
I have gathered together
on this thin raft,
We have constructed
in honor of our
“take a shit anywhere in the city and wipe yo ass wit a paper bag”
a homeless guy classic quote
hobbit hole poop and smoke
Really watching a strong wind whip across a field of fresh and vivid green grass is fascinating….it ripples….
it`s even better when you`re on mushrooms…
Sunken City Blues
I really weep for the rest of the world who couldn`t possibly be as happy as me right now.
I can usually tell the approximate time from the position of the sun but on a gloomy day, I am timeless.
The minute I left Point Fermin and got to the bus stop it started pouring rain. Timing is everything.
A poster I saw on La Brea with a silkscreen print of Marilyn Monroe:
“THEN IT HIT ME
I`m not going to be famous
I won`t get to be a rock star
I`m going to stay on the payroll
doing work that doesn`t interest
me for a very long time…”
“It is the evening of the day
I sit and watch the children play
Smiling faces I can see
but not for me….
I sit and watch As Tears Go By….”
The Rolling Stones
Big, heavy plastic snowflakes hanging everywhere. Pointy with a 4 foot diameter…DEATH SPIKES swaying in the wind.
“In the Land of Mordor, where the shadows lie…”
“Mordor looks like Los Angeles…”
Kanjanna Suwanna (Kathy)
Walking around LA in ghetto bedroom slippers…
Now everyone`s doing it….
The phenomenon of the fag hag/fruit fly…. what is that, exactly?
“Until my task is done….”
“So much death; What can men do against such reckless hate?”
“When so many bad things have happened, how can it ever go back to the way it was?”
“What ARE we fighting for? That there is some good in the world and it is worth fighting for.”
“Even the darkness of the shadow must pass….”
“The Two Towers”
Early morning at the Grove, before the crowds come in herds to shop at this merchandising Disneyland. I am alone
and hearing distant Christmas music and the sun shines brightly on the lake in the central plaza as water flows and
a giant Christmas tree looms above me. It is actually quite nice.
Give me a while. After work, I will be RUNNING to get the fuck out of here.
All of us
waiting in lines
in a l o n g line
Can`t Sleep Clowns Will Eat Me
Can`t Sleep Clowns Will Eat Me
Can`t Sleep Clowns Will Eat Me
Can`t Sleep Clowns Will Eat Me
“Gangs of New York” at Grauman`s Chinese Theater
Haven`t been here since I was a kid seeing “Star Wars”. SPECTACULAR sound and visuals….!
Alright, I`m buying some throwing knives….
“America was born in the streets…”
“Street Fighting Man”
“Keep your friends close
and your enemies closer…”
“The Art of War”
just don`t fall on me…
I`m the one that`s gonna have to die
when it`s time for me to die,
so let me live MY LIFE
the way I want to…”
I had a dream. I was at Marmalade Cafe and it was terribly busy, like a nightmare–but something
was wrong–it was……it was eerie and dark, with cobwebs fluttering in evil moonlight. Dead faces
floated past crooked tables occupied by skeletal figures clattering through dinners of dead flesh
and bloody sides of lumpy nondescript something or other. Hooded figures stood in the shadows
and everything dead surged around me in a black tide of muck but I managed to pass through
the knife cold chill of doom, walked out the back door and then fell
into and abyss||||||||||||
I saw fire in the distance as I plummeted….
and then I woke up. Time for work.
G13 Hobbit Dust
Sat morn hangover
break in the rain sunshine
sitting alone in my dark apt
watching the sun rays move across the hills
and the clouds travel overhead
as I listen to the wind
and wild horses couldn`t drag me away
although, really, they probably could
“If I look hard enough into the setting sun,
My love will laugh with me before the morning comes…”
The Rolling Stones “Paint it Black”
You may have guns but I have nunchuks and boundless energy…
“If I could stick a knife in my heart
suicide right on the stage
would it be enough for your teenage lust
would it be enough for your bleeding heart
would it help to ease the pain
would it satisfy you
It`s only rock and roll but I like it….”
The Rolling Stones
Little round adorable Mexican and El Salvadorian waitresses
and their cute little accents, flirting with me….”Behave yourself, Tomas,
and if you don`t want to, let me know….”
EVEN WHEN THE CLOUDS ARE COMING DOWN
ALL AROUND YOU
THE SUN IS STILL SHINING ON THE OTHER SIDE
“Why don`t we sing this song all together?”
The Rolling Stones
“His Satanic Majesty`s Request”
” `This is the worst thing you`ve ever done, Homer.`
` You say that so much it`s lost all meaning.` “
The nightmare I mentioned before about Marmalade, well, if you want a visual,
check out Pieter Breughel`s Triumph of Death
“These days I barely get by
I don`t even try…”
“This town is crazy
Baby, you`re lost
baby, you`re lost
baby, you`re a lost cause…”
Christmas Day in Hollywood
what a sad and pathetic bunch of scumbags….
I`ve bought ninja throwing stars and throwing knives and will begin training immediately…
Christmas morning in Runyon Canyon with a 40oz and some green herb. Happy Festivus!
The 217 bus fucking stinks! It smells like death and old people.
The following is inscribed on a thousand-year-old pavilion at the edge of a river in the Chinese Mountain
town of Wuyizhen at the base of Soul Mountain: (I`ve been there in my dreams….):
“Sitting at rest know not to discuss
the shortcomings of other people
Setting out on a journey fully appreciate
the beauty of the Dragon river
On departing do not forget to heed
the duckweed waters. Turn back to
gaze in wonder at Lingshan
amongst the phoenixes.”
“All`s fair in love and war”
“Catch Me If You Can”
We snuck in to see it……you get the irony?
Taurus— Let go of preconceived notions. Take a cold plunge into the future. The past
is over; be ready for a fresh start. Romantic relationship serious, could involve marriage.
It`s just fun to see how wrong they are everyday…..
Sometimes I feel like my whole life I`ve just been waiting
for a bright white flash of nuclear light.
“One day you`ll wake to find
10 years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
you missed the starting gun…”
Little Richard (so gay) on Jimi Hendrix;
“At times he used to make my big toe shoot up in my boot….”
YOU DON`T KNOW YOUR MOUTH FROM YOUR ASSHOLE
Wherever I go, there I am
Last sunset of 2002….beautiful!
New Year`s Eve 6pm….
Just tripping on the big fat guy with the crazy white hair and Santa Claus beard who`s always here at Farmer`s Market,
alone, talking to himself.. it is just sad….no one is ever with him, he`s in his own world. Happy new year there, strange
one….I hope everything goes ok for you. What am I talking about? I talk to myself all the time! ALONE! HA! In fact,
I have great conversations with myself. I`m standing on a balcony above the restaurant and I`m watching all these
idiots file inside. Don`t they have anything better to do? Why the FUCK would anyone say, “Hey, it`s New Year`s Eve,
let`s go to the goddamned Marmalade Cafe?!!” “Hey, Great idea!” Crazy assholes, I spit on your grave….I`m burnt out…
I light up a joint in plain view and stand there laughing at them.
New Year`s Eve 2002/2003 Midnight
Alone, miraculously….I ditched everyone and I`m right where I wanted to be, on the roof, meditating and smoking with my
beer and my music and listening to the vibes and messages that fall from the heavens just for me as the city goes crazy
all around me, sparkling in the night……
Right after this, chaos erupts….gunshots, roman candles, m-80s, rockets….the WHOLE BIT, baby….
New Year`s Day Marmalade Cafe
Jesus H. Christ Almighty!! I can`t take any more fucking crowds!! AAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!
There is a white rabbit running around INSIDE the tripped out Hollywood Blvd. McDonalds….
I`m not kidding….am I having a flashback?
Hanging out for the last 4 days with Ai Fukushima…….Happy Island Love
I`ve been LOST in Tokyo and I`m NOT complaining….
Remover of Obstacles, God of New Beginnings
“Ganesh moves easily and enigmatically between many worlds. Not only
is he emblematic of a truth that is all-encompassing, he honors our humanity–
our personal hopes, ideals, and aspirations, as well as our spirituality. Ganesh
teaches us what it is to be truly human. He shows us that the experience of
living demands a dynamic search for truth, a daring move from our familiar,
and sometimes dangerous habits and perceptions to a more spontaneous and
sincere path–our path to the Divine….”
El Gato Negro
a great bar
Michael C. McMillen`s Central Meridian
is a masterpiece walk-in assemblage. Gives the impression you have walked
into someone`s empty garage midwest America somewhere in the 1950`s.
An old car with an open hood, the sound of crickets, dim lighting, tools and papers
strewn about an old workbench and a radio playing a constant loop of old music
complete with static. UNBELIEVABLE ATMOSPHERE…..GENIUS…
IF WE DON`T LIVE EVERY MOMENT TO THE FULLEST,
BOREDOM WILL BE THE DEATH OF US.
” `cause I got my own world to look through
and I ain`t gonna copy you…”
2003 Year of the Sheep
Then it will be MY Year of the Wolf
I just now realized that I am one minute closer to DEATH.
It`ll cure what ails ya…
“Paranoia is heightened awareness.”
“Some of us prefer illusion to despair.”
A blossoming tree with a well beneath it.
What is the symbol here?
Everything is part of the Matrix.
“Well, I`m sorry I`m not interested in gold mines, oil wells, shipping,
or real estate. You know what I love? Everything you hate.”
Serious tension at the In n Out Burger….old homeless lady yelling
at the employees. Seriously lady, it`s just a burger joint…
Don`t you know, no one cares?
So, I`m sitting deep in Runyon Canyon, alone, as usual. All I can hear is leaves rustling,
bees buzzing, and birds chirping. Perfect stillness. Utter silence. Otherworldly transcendence.
My silence is shattered when I hear these noisy bitches come thundering down the trail like
a herd of buffalo yakking about shopping and hair salons and the recent Cosmopolitan article
on how to give a great blow job. Then her cell phone rings and she starts flip-flapping even
louder. There is simply no escape. I sit there hidden and glaring, like an angry ape in the
trees. Where, oh where can a man enjoy a quiet beer in this town? Although, I am glad
that they are keeping up to date on the latest blow job improvement information….
I just had a HUGE black pit bull charge out into the street with his jaws ready to clamp down
on my arm as I skateboarded at 35mph down the Hollywood Dell. I hauled off and gave him
a brutal left hook in the ear without slowing down and he yelped and cringed back. It was me or him.
The owners yelled at me as I rolled on and I told em to keep that fucking beast on a leash…..
“All the diamonds make a square…”
The Rolling Stones
“I don`t know if you have ever observed this strange thing, the self. Often, the more you look,
the more it doesn`t seem to be like it, and the more you look the more it isn`t it. If you concentrate
on looking at yourself, you will find that yourself will gradually separate from the self you are familiar
with and multiply into many startling forms. So, if I have to make a summary of myself, it terrifies
me. I don`t know which of the many faces represents me and the more closely I look, the clearer
the transformations become, and finally, only bewilderment remains.”
“If I don`t believe in love, why do I go looking for it?
`This is because you still want to believe in it.` “
“I am surrounded by an expanse of passions and think that the human search for love must originally
have been like this. So-called civilizations in later ages separated sexual impulse from love and
created the concepts of status, wealth, religion, ethics and cultural responsibility. Such is the
stupidity of human beings.”
THANKS FOR PLAYING.
PLEASE DRIVE THRU…..