By Tom H. Brooks 3
“NO ART IS POSSIBLE WITHOUT A DANCE WITH DEATH.”
“Call me Ishmael…”
I DO MORE BEFORE 7AM
THAN MOST MARINES
DO ALL DAY…
C U in the funny pages…
You can`t stop the madness
so don`t even try…
Every idea, every word, every book,
gives birth to another.
The transference of knowledge
is an endless chain of thought
to the seekers…
I am always fortunate witness to
serendipitous and obscure acts
of nature; for what reason, I do not know…
MY CURIOSITY KNOWS NO BOUNDS…
Hollywood Bowl, Summer of 2003
Sneaking in many times to see Radiohead, Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, Freddie MacGregor,
Toots and the Maytals, and Jimmy Cliff…..
The only path to the Truth is to be honest with yourself.
Every answer holds another question
behind a veil,
secrets unfolding for eternity….
I`ll take that ride…
Listen, don`t blow sunshine up my ass
and tell me it`s the breath of God…
Another tip for the fanatics…
SCIENCE & RELIGION; incompatible throughout the ages, always at odds, so ridiculous,
really, when they are simply taking different approaches to the same ends. They are both
trying to find out why we`re here and HOW we got here; meaning, something greater than
ourselves, a majestic force of energy manifestation, `God`, the spirit within us. That is the
search of the theologian, the scientist, the philosopher, and the artist. This argument of
mine is irrefutable.
Well, that`s neither here nor there…
The evil blue glow of television…
sucking out your brains through your eyeballs
until there is nothing left but a pasty gray mush,
capable of looking forward only to the `next episode`…
“To the Illuminati and to those of science, let me say this; you have won the war. The wheels
have been in motion for a long time. Your victory has been inevitable. Never before has it been
as obvious as it is at this moment. Science is the new God. Medicine, electronics, communications,
space travel, genetic manipulation…these are the miracles about which we now tell our children.
These are the miracles we herald as proof that science will bring us the answers. The ancient
stories of immaculate conceptions, burning bushes, and parting seas are no longer relevant. God
has become obsolete. Science has won the battle. We concede. But science`s victory has cost
every one of us. And it has cost us deeply. Science may have alleviated the miseries of disease
and drudgery and provided an array of gadgetry for our entertainment and convenience, but it has
left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelengths and frequencies.
The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations. Even our
self-worth as human beings has been destroyed. Science proclaims that Planet Earth and its
inhabitants are a meaningless speck in the Grand Scheme, a cosmic accident. Even the technology
that promises to unite us, divides us. Each of us is now electronically connected to the globe, and
yet we feel utterly alone. We are bombarded with violence, division, fracture, and betrayal.
Skepticism has become a virtue. Cynicism and demand for proof has become enlightened thought.
Is it any wonder that humans now feel more depressed and defeated than they have at any point
in human history? Does science hold anything sacred? Science looks for answers probing our
unborn fetuses. Science even presumes to rearrange our own DNA. It shatters God`s world into
smaller and smaller pieces in quest of meaning…and all it finds is more questions. Science, you
have won this ancient war with religion, but you have not won fairly. You have not won by providing
answers. You have won by so radically altering and reorienting our society that the truths we once
saw as signposts now seem inapplicable. Religion cannot keep up. Scientific growth is exponential.
It feeds on itself like a virus. Mankind took thousands of years to progress from the wheel to the
car, yet only decades from the car into space. Now we measure scientific progress in weeks. We
are spinning out of control. The rift between us grows deeper and deeper, and as religion is left
behind, people find themselves in a spiritual void. We cry out for meaning.
Science, you say you will save us. Science, I say, has destroyed us. We are a fractured and frantic
species, moving down a path towards destruction. And all the while, you claim the church is ignorant.
But who is more ignorant? The man who cannot define lightning, or the man who does not respect
its awesome power? Show me proof there is a God, you say. I say use your telescopes to look to
the heavens, and tell me how there could not be a God!”
“Have we become so spiritually bankrupt that we would rather believe in a mathematical impossibility
than in a power greater than us? Whether or not you believe in God, you must believe this. When we
as a species abandon our trust in a power greater than us, we abandon our sense of accountability.
Faith…all faiths are admonitions that there is something we cannot understand, something to which we
are accountable. With faith we are accountable to each other, to ourselves, and to a Higher Truth.
Religion is flawed, but only because Man is flawed.”
“Angels and Demons”
This is the stuff dreams are made of….
Everything is made up of furiously spinning orbs…
mathematical progression, the Fibonacci Sequence
1-1-2-3-5-8-13–21 and so on…
no mini-biking, no softball…..
drop down, turn around, pick a bale o` cotton…
Oh, cry me a river…
“Many have made a trade of delusions and false miracles, deceiving the stupid multitude.
Blinding ignorance does mislead us, O wretched mortals, open your eyes!”
Leonardo Da Vinci
i was never one for this world anyway…..my head was always in the clouds;
mine was always the world of dreams and spirit…
LARGER THAN LIFE
Truth is often disguised as fiction
My mind works in ways
that you could not
even begin to fathom…
At the library nowadays, everyone is always on the computers…..
no one even reads……sad…..
“How do we know whether the universe is getting bigger or the objects in it are getting smaller?
You can`t say the universe is getting bigger in relation to anything outside it, because there is
no outside to relate to.”
“The Illuminatus Trilogy”
Dig your own graves
build your own mountain….
it`s your choice…
“There are periods of history when the visions of madmen and dope fiends are a better
guide to reality than the `common-sense` interpretation of data available to the so-called `normal mind.` “
WHAT DID I TELL YA?
I can`t tell if life is a spiral INWARD
or a spiral OUTWARD….
seriously, which is it?
There are only 2 rules that really matter;
What a man CAN do
what a man WILL do…
“Take what ye can and give nothing back…”
An old pirate saying
work, routine; the slow and silent killer.
The last place I want to go is the first place I have to be today.
“Strange is man when seeking after his gods…”
What`s going on? My grandma`s faster than you, and she`s got a bad hip!
My grandpa says more than you, and he`s got Alzheimer`s!
“SOUTH OF NO NORTH
Stories of the Buried Life”
Sometimes, I just want to ride my Sector 9 skateboard south,
relentlessly, until I can`t find anymore paved roads…(and then just keep walking…)
gibbledy hibbledy hibbity hoo….
Try and figure THIS out…
My biography of Bateman will be called
A Testament to Absent Genius
I`ve spent my entire life trying to figure out
new and clever ways to say that
I KNOW NOTHING
This is the only explanation that you`ll get from me…
( ! )
If you`re not asking, I ain`t tellin` ya…
I`m about to start stabbin` and burnin`…
“It all reminds me of a dream I had as a child. I know today, as I`ve always known,
I`d be here, starting to come into focus, even as I fade away into dreams, I see things
as they truly are…infinite…”
Nothing but red rocks and blue sky
the beer in my hand
and the sun in my eyes…
The ocean goes about its business
not caring about
our pathetic mortal dilemmas…
the ocean exists
just because it does,
The ocean knows this
and whispers it quietly
to us everyday;
With the music of the sea,
it tells us an endless story…
The song of the ocean
crashes in waves across our consciousness,
it clatters like rocks
across our tired thoughts
and it holds many mysteries
which demand open minds…
The endless blue sea
calls to us through eternity
giving life and taking it away
and always, always–
the flow and the rhythm…
“And I looked,
and behold a pale horse:
and his name that sat upon him was Death,
and hell followed with him.
And power was given unto them
over the fourth part of the earth,
to kill with sword, with hunger, and with
the beasts of the earth.”
the wolf is at the door…
“I cannot and will not accept the theory that long sequences of unrelated accidents
determine world events. It is inconceivable that those with power and wealth would
not band together with a common bond, a common interest, and a long range plan
to decide and direct the future of the world.”
SORRY, THIS TRAIN DOESN`T STOP AT YOUR STATION…
Uh, yeah……..I`m gonna go stand over there>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I would like to turn all words into my own special brand of jive-talkin`…..
A.D.D. and O.C.D. has gotta hold of me….
frick and frack
Yeah, yeah, whatever….get back to me….
HEY, IF YOU DON`T LIKE IT,
WRITE YOUR OWN CRAZY BOOK…
“In my dreams, I`m dying all the time…”
Someone, just go ahead and kill me right now,
seriously, I promise I won`t come back and haunt you,
I won`t even be mad…
I`ve come to confess;
I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll…
Listen, I wouldn`t get up to get you a glass of water
if you`d just stumbled in from crossing the Mojave Desert on foot…
If you were the last person on the planet to talk to,
I wouldn`t even stop to say HI…
TALK IS CHEAP
“We`re all born to die,
till then, GET MONEY!!!”
Piss off then, guv`nor…
My house is an oven
I am a baked potato
I tell ya,
I`m my best audience…
I`m talking and I`M not even listening…
RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE
Everything has already been said one way or another,
so why bother at all? From this moment forward,
I take a solemn monk`s vow of silence…..
NOPE, COULDN`T DO IT…
Oh, now I`m getting emotional…
Ship of fools,
room of idiots…
Christ! My pupils are like 8-balls!!
“Borges is a great writer who has composed only little essays or short narratives. Yet they suffice
for us to call him great because of their wonderful intelligence, their wealth of invention, and their
tight almost mathematical style.”
“…paradoxical, intellectual possibilities. He creates outside time and space, imaginary and symbolic
worlds; his own private metaphysics…”
“God must not engage in theology; the writer must not destroy by human reasonings the faith that art requires of us.”
past, present and future exist simultaneously, as proven by our dreams…
“Life and dreams are leaves of the same book: reading them in order is living: skimming through is dreaming.
In death we shall rediscover all the instants of our life and shall freely combine them as in our dreams.”
“The mind was dreaming; the world was its dream.”
`you have lost all sight of reality.`
Good, there`s nothing there for me anyway…
Oh, Christ on Rollerskates!
“You all gonna make me lose my mind!
Up in here, up in here!”
“I`m a dyslexic pimp, I`ll slap you backwards…”
For a good laugh, make this comment to Goth/Death rockers when you see them in pancake make-up
and dressed all in black on a HOT summer day; “Hey guys, I just saw Marilyn Manson, he went that-a-way…”
You know, they get really mad…
Goddamn, how I love watching sexy girls eat ice cream! It brings a tear to my eye….is that wrong? WHO CARES?!?
it`s just funny…
Columbian drum and bass psychotropicale music in Santa Monica on 8/14
I`m sorry, were you talking again?
I was busy plotting how to take over the world….
my legs feel like bamboo sticks, my brain is gelatin, and my eyeballs are like 8-balls that swivel
in my head 360 degrees like a fucking lighthouse…and there is a ship about to crash on the rocks…
SWEET GEORGIA BROWN!
Good Lawd, you ugly!
Bateman, you are like a rat chasing the cheese through the maze of your own mind…
Yeah, yeah, have your people call my people—let`s get it in writing, send me the papers,
let`s get it notarized, all of it, in triplicate…..
The Institute of Applied Research
A blunt and a couple of bloody marys before noon, a swim at the Beverly Hilton, fish tacos, and an art
exhibit of French Masters from the Moscow Museum…..for a poor guy, I LIVE VERY WELL.
God is everything and everyone.
“Eiaha Ohipa ( Do Not Work ) “
by Paul Gauguin
the title alone makes me wish I could buy it….
You don`t believe me? I was there, I SAW it.
now you girls are throwing panties at me–
where we gonna go from here?
I can think of a few places….
always wound-up like a 10 cent top…”
“If you can`t keep up,
get out of the way…”
Is FUCK YOU simple enough for ya?
So, I went to the reggae show with Polston at the Bowl last night. It was beautiful. I wake up
this morning at 6, sun rising, picture perfect, and what do I see? A picture perfect Hollywood
ghetto scene; a silver Benzo on stilts, tires stolen, and behind it, the tanned walls of Yucca
spray-painted black with some puto`s pathetic illiterate gang scrawlings…..
I`d rather not exist at all
than be denied being ME.
“Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.”
Henry David Thoreau
“This must be THE CALL you`ve been waiting for all this time, sir.”
Hunter S. Thompson
“Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”
“Nobody ever went broke overestimating the vulgarity of the American people.”
That`s just IGNANT…
“The Long Walk to Forever”
Labor Day 9/1/03
Every year I try to make this holiday a day unto myself, to hide, to disappear, to get AWAY–
and these things, of course, are my specialties. So far today, I have climbed up through
Runyon Canyon and into the hills and sat alone under a tree in an old forgotten arroyo smoking
herb and thinking and dreaming with music in my head. I have my skateboard, as always, and
I intend to ride when I come down off this mountain and get back to the asphalt. Maybe
I`ll ride all the way to the beach for no good reason except to roll…
A giant green june bug just flew down from the Hollywood Hills and decided to kick back on
my beer belly for about 5 minutes. I didn`t mind, he was cool…
Sometimes, while sitting on the bus in this goddamned LA traffic waiting impatiently to get to the beach,
I sit back and close my eyes and dream of having a helicopter…
A new breed of fly just landed on my finger. He had a skull and crossbones design on his back between
his wings. I shall call him a `death`s head fly.`
I`m sorry, were you talking?
I was thinking about WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY NEXT…
Riding a skateboard L O N G distances through LA like most people drive cars….
I`m just about alone in this endeavor…
WHAT CAN I GET FOR UNDA` A DOLLA`?
Just saw Kato Kaelin outside fucking Club Ivar…..HA!!
I wonder if he`s living with any head choppers lately…
I was thinking about something but then I forgot what it was
so I decided to go ahead and just forget the whole thing….
“Ya`ll the police?”
Sat. Night 9/6/03
What the FUCK? Did I just wander into a David Lynch movie?
End of summer bats and crickets on Yucca…
Sometimes, I think Yucca is a bad place.
It`s evil, but it`s funny…
Too much of anything is never enough…
Full moon, the weirdos are out in force…
“Freedom……so I can live…
Freedom…..so I can give…”
“Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens…”
Well, THAT sounds kind of BORING…
“We are what we pretend to be,
so we must be careful what
we pretend to be.”
“If you don`t like America,
THEN YOU CAN GIT OUT!!”
sailboats clanking in the harbor
and the lonely cries of the gulls…
“Never for money,
always for love,
come on up and say goodnight…
HOME is where I want to be
but I guess I`m already there,
I came home, she lifted up her wings,
I guess This Must Be the Place…”
“I wake to sleep
and take my waking slow,
I feel my fate
in what I cannot fear,
I learn by going where I have to go…”
“Death on the Installment Plan”
“Listen; Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time.”
“We went to the New York World`s Fair, saw what the past had been like,
according to Ford and Walt Disney; saw what the future would be like,
according to General Motors. And I asked myself about the present:
how wide it was, how deep it was, how much of it was mine to keep.“
” `I am seeing all time as you might see a stretch of the Rocky Mountains.
All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings
or explanations. It simply is. Take it moment by moment, and you will
find that we are all, as I`ve said before, bugs trapped in amber.`
`You sound to me as though you don`t believe in free will.`
`Only on earth is there any talk of free will.` “
Ahhhh, Los Angeles,
The City the Angels Forgot…
“WHEN YOU DARE TO THINK ABOUT HOW HUGE THE ILLEGAL DRUG
BUSINESS IS IN THIS COUNTRY, YOU HAVE TO SUSPECT THAT
PRACTICALLY EVERYBODY HAS A STEADY BUZZ ON…”
“To be or not to be: That is the question.
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
and by opposing, end them.
To die: to sleep no more
and by sleep to say we end the heartache
and the thousand natural shocks
that flesh is heir to.
To die: to sleep, perchance to dream:
aye, there`s the rub, for in that sleep
of death, what dreams may come
when we have shuffled off this mortal coil
must give us pause…”
We just saw Dom DeLuise on Vine at the San Genarro Festival…
“When He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.”
The Book of Job
“I think I am trying to clear my head of all the junk in there–the assholes,
the flags, the underwear. Here is a picture of an asshole.
I`m throwing out characters from my other books too. I`m not going to
put on any more puppet shows. I think I am trying to make my head
as empty as it was when I was born onto this damaged planet many
years ago. I suspect that this is something most white Americans,
and non-white Americans who imitate white Americans should do. The
things other people have put into MY head, at any rate, do not fit
together nicely, are often useless and ugly, are out of proportion with
one another, are out of proportion with life as it really is outside my head.
I have no culture, no humane harmony in my brains. I can`t live without
“Breakfast of Champions”
“I tried and failed and cleaned up afterwards, so it`s YOUR turn now.”
To all the random assholes that ask me for drugs on Yucca, just because
I live there: IF YOU DON`T ALREADY KNOW WHERE TO GET THE DRUGS,
YOU SHOULDN`T BE DOING THEM, ESPECIALLY ASKING STRANGERS…
PIGS!! I KNOW YOU`RE UNDERCOVER COPS….
“One of the great tragedies of human existence is forgetting the secret we knew
so long ago–that consciousness looks at the universe through our human eyes.
Unfortunately, we easily neglect to keep the `lenses` polished and sparkling,
as our perceptions are so often refracted through the clouded eyes of an unfocused
ego. This unclear vision then results in the human self getting caught up in what
the Buddhists call `the thousand things.` “
Stephen Walter Sterling
“Our life is what our thoughts make it.”
Camping at the Bunker in Palos Verdes…
outline of hills in the fog and sparkling lights
“I used to live in a room full of mirrors
and all I could see was me….
I used my spirit
and smashed all my mirrors,
Now the whole world
is here for me to see….”
Oh yeah, just doing my usual crazy shit Downtown: taking photos,
lurking on the fringes, talking to bums, sitting in empty industrial
lots drinking beer and smoking weed, white water rafting on the LA
River, mugging businessmen, buying heroin….OH OH, I think I`ve
said too much….
Wandering through the wastelands….
“DON`T YOU FUCKING LOOK AT ME…”
“Hard come, easy go…”
“Got my own world to look through,
and I ain`t gonna copy you…”
“In the womb
we are blind cave fish–
with a whore`s spittle”
The Blue Line train home on a Saturday night,
Ghetto snapshots in the darkness, BBQs, wifebeater-wearing homies
drinking 40oz beers and playing cards, just a brief flash to me, nothing more…
I`ll read more in the next week
than most people will read in a lifetime…
“A fish pitched up
by an angry sea,
I gasped on land,
and I became Me.”
“Inside the dream,
button sleep around your body
like a glove.
Free now of space & time,
in the streaming summer…”
“All games contain the idea of death.”
`Your eyes are always black.`
The pupil opens
to seize the object of vision.”
drive away the Dead,
An object is cut off from
its name, habits,
Detached, it becomes
only the thing, in and
of itself. When this
disintegration into pure
existence is at last
achieved, the object
is free to become
prone on a watery beach.
The universe kneels at the
swamp to curiously eye its
own raw postures of decay
in the mirror
of human consciousness.
Absent and peopled mirror,
passive to whatever visits
and retains its interest.
Door of passage
to the other side,
the soul frees itself in stride.
Turn mirrors to the wall
in the House of the New Dead.”
“There are no longer `dancers,`
The cleavage of men into
actors and spectators
is the central fact of our time.
We are obsessed with heroes
who live for us and whom we punish.
If all the radios and TVs were deprived
of their sources of power,
all books and paintings burned tomorrow,
all shows and cinemas closed,
all the arts of vicarious existence….
We are content with the `given` in
sensation`s quest. We have been
metamorphosed from a mad
body dancing on hillsides to a
pair of eyes staring in the dark.”
“The Lords and the New Creatures”
“Of all the words of mice and men,
the saddest are `it might have been.` “
“In the beginning, God created the earth, and He looked upon it in His cosmic loneliness.
And God said, `Let us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what We
have done.` And God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was man.
Mud as man alone could speak. God leaned close as mud as man sat up, looked around,
and spoke. Man blinked, `What is the purpose of all this?` he asked politely.
`Everything must have a purpose?` asked God.
`Certainly,` said man.
`Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this,` said God. And then he went away.”
“If you are the big tree,
we are the small axe,
ready to cut you down…”
“The responsibility of the artist is to know the time in which he lives…”
Yeah, yeah, save the details for the jury…
“Nice guys finish last….”
The Starline Hollywood Tour trolley is coming slowly down the Boulevard. I`m standing there,
casually, with a coffee (I KNOW, not a beer…), soaking up my surroundings. 15 feet away,
4 cracked out black dudes with white lips are yelling and gesturing at each other at top volume,
pounding their chests like apes in the deepest jungles of the Congo. A white junkie with tracks
all up and down his arm is nodding off and drooling on a bus bench next to me. Some crazed
Hollywood ho rollerskates by with a ghetto blaster while a disheveled-looking girl child is
wandering aimlessly around the fringes, begging for nickels and dimes. I, of course, am totally
used to this type of colorful scenery. On the other hand, the six blonde, prim, high-class
Southern belle types sitting on the tour bus are shocked and appalled. Their eyes are averted,
they are pretending they don`t see. We make eye contact, after all, they`re only like 6 feet
away from me. I give them my most charming smile and say, `Not as glamorous as it looks
on TV, eh ladies?` They smile and laugh nervously as the light turns green and their dream
tour of beautiful Hollywood moves on….
They say laughter is the music of the soul
so I try to laugh as much as possible…
MOFOS BE ACTIN` LIKE THEY KNOW
BUT DEY DON`T KNOW A GODDAMN THING!!
NOBODY GET HURT”
“WHO WOULD JESUS BOMB?”
“SAVE ME JEEBUS!!”
“There`s a Natural Mystic
blowing through the air…
If you listen very closely
you can hear…”
“I`d rather be a free man in my grave,
than living as a puppet or a slave…”
I face the ugly truth of reality everyday, head-on….
Perhaps I am a little high and I might do it on my
own abstract and bizarre terms, but I face it, nonetheless…
“How long shall they kill our prophets
while we stand aside and look?
these songs of freedom
it`s all I ever had…
Emancipate yourself from mental slavery,
none but ourselves can free our mind…”
“Oh please, don`t you
rock my boat,
`cause I don`t
want my boat
to be rockin` …”
“Satisfy My Soul”
IN ONE END
AND OUT THE OTHER…
“HOPEFULLY, I CONTRADICTED MYSELF IN THERE SOMEWHERE…”
HAS THIS BEEN A CRAZY
THE END OF ANOTHER VOLUME
OF GIBBERISH, DUMB LOGIC,
AND POSSIBLY FAULTY WISDOM…
I WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING….