STREET JOURNAL 27.5 AND 28

Standard

By Tom H. Brooks 3

THIS COULD ONLY HAPPEN TO ME…

_______
A WHIRLWIND OF MANIACAL CREATIVE ENERGY……………….
_______
A MESSAGE FOR THE SHEEP
(watch out for wolves; they are everywhere)
_______
SUMMER of 2004
_______
YES        NO         MAYBE
_______
IT REALLY DOESN`T MATTER
_______
“I follow my delirium,
rooms, rooms, streets, walking,
groping and groping
down the corridors of time
and over and under its staircases,
I feel along its walls and,
not advancing,
I turn to where I began,
I seek your face,
walk doubtfully
these dim streets of my own self,
under a timeless sun,
and you beside me,
walk with me, like a tree,
a river going–
walk with me
speaking to me like a river,
like a stalk of wheat among my fingers,
flying,
become a thousand birds,
your smiling has covered my body in sea foam,
your head is a nebula between my hands,
the world grows fresh and green
when you are smiling and eating an orange,
and the world is changed–
forever…”
Octavio Paz
_______
“THE PRINCIPAL BUSINESS OF LIFE
IS TO ENJOY IT.”
Samuel Butler
1612-1680
See….^^^this guy knew what`s up!!
_______
DRAIN BAMAGED
_______
Now I`m playing the part of a guy who cares what you think…
_______
Life is truly a 3-Ring Circus;
Only the ringmasters come out on top…
The rest of them are shoveling shit…
_______
“Please, Sister Morphine,
turn my nightmare into dreams…”
The Rolling Stones
_______
Tales From Outside the Machine
System of Disorder
Ignant and Dumm
Things Scribbled in a Dark, Sad Room
_______
This script is being written as it happens,
it is told while it exists,
stories from the edge…
_______
There is a story of a man who steps through
a doorway and never returns, however,
it`s kind of hard to get the details…..
HE`S GONE….
_______
THIS IS THE STUFF
DREAMS ARE MADE OF…
_______
“Good on yer, mate…”
“You`ll never see the croc that eats ya…”
_______
There is nothing sadder than someone
who is always bored.
Why can`t you entertain yourself?
_______
The only thing that “bores” me
is having to entertain you all the time…
_______
I`m gonna try this new diet where
the goal is to eat ONLY bacon…
_______
The greatest thing about America
is that it`s just FUNNY…
_______
Vin Scully is still alive…?
he must be 100 years old!
_______
I had a little guy sitting next to me on the bus
who looked EXACTLY like a classic Mayan
out of a stone carving or something…
I`m guessing ……Guatemala?
_______
Easter Sunday: burrito picnic in the park,
sun shining through the trees, birds chirping……
IT`S WHAT JESUS WOULD HAVE WANTED…
_______
Yucca Estates
THEATRE OF PAIN
_______
You dirty bird…
_______
Jedi Mind Tricks
_______
“There is a limit to our energy, but none to our desires.
A man who sets no bounds to his passion cannot live
more than a short time.”
“Jin Ping Mei”  (“The Golden Lotus”)
_______
Defamation of character, I think,
is the legal term for it…
_______
“All animals are created equal,
but some animals are more equal than others.”
George Orwell
“Animal Farm”
_______
“It`s a FESTIVUS miracle!”
“OH!…the delicate genius…!”
“Seinfeld”
_______
Monday, April 12, 2004
Spent the day in Downtown LA at the Standard rooftop pool
drinking Margaritas with 3 sexy girls…..I know, I know,
my life is hell…(Sylvie, Jessica and Aurora)
_______
thank you
thank you
and
thank you
_______
Went to El Torino on Olympic and Hoover to try what are
reputed to be some of the best tacos around.  ALL tacos
are good, mind you, and these WERE tasty.  I still think
my taco stand by the Mexican Consulate at 6th Street and
Park View Avenue is the best, though…
_______
No words exist that can describe the sense of overwhelming
joy and thankfulness that I feel in my moments of enlightenment.
These moments exist for me alone to appreciate….and I DO…
_______
5:24pm
Blue smoke in afternoon sunlight, wavering shadows, huge tree above,
white noise of the 101 freeway, no one but me…
_______
BUKOWSKI NEVER DID THIS
_______
A pedestrian in Los Angeles; the rarest creature of all…
_______
I want to know how the FUCK hip-hop culture and “ebonics” have impressed themselves
so deeply on our collective American psyche, that giant corporations such as Citibank
actually use improper words that I fucking hate like “bling bling” on their billboards.
I mean, REALLY?!?  THIS is how you want to advertise?  What the hell is going on here?
It is the dumbing down of humanity….
The Renaissance is long past; now, we get stupider every year…
Yes, apparently people can get dumber than they already are….
ME STOOPID, HUH, HUH, HUH…..
_______
“My burned-out eyes can see only the suns of memory…”
Charles Baudelaire
_______
Here`s an image for you, something that should have been captured
by a color photograph for posterity…..too late now:
Corner of Hollywood and Cahuenga in afternoon sunlight; a big, black,
Nubian-looking motherfucker wearing FUBU gear from head to toe, a
short, stout, angry-looking Chollo type with dickies and a black Los Angeles
hat, and me with my shaggy blonde lid wearing swim trunks and a white
wifebeater shirt, high as a kite.  I saw this for a split second reflected in
the window of a storefront.  All we need now is a Chinaman delivering
chow mein and we`re golden….
_______
The corporate bigwigs were at Taco Bell during my recent visit and a mustached guy
that looked like someone off WKRP in Cincinatti, jumped up and ran behind the counter
and said, “Where`s his order?” to the bewildered-looking chubby Mexican girl.  He promptly
served my food himself with his smiling red face behind his blonde mustache saying,
“You sir, shall wait no longer…”
I could barely contain my inner laughter…
A little later this same fellow proceeded to give the shivering and cringing young manager
a true corporate grilling in a predatory and utterly fear-inspiring manner…
The burrito was alright but the tacos weren`t that great….
Maybe I should complain and demand my money back…..
_______
“naked we come
and bruised we go;
nude pastry
for the worms below…”
Jim Morrison
_______
EVERYTHING I SEE BECOMES A STORY
_______
“Nothing really matters,
anyone can see,
nothing really matters
to me…”
“Bohemian Rhapsody”
_______
I was so high that when I went into the beach bathroom in Playa del Rey,
I couldn`t find the urinals, but I pissed anyway in a bowl.  Then I realized,
I was in the women`s bathroom.
_______
Smoking a bowl under a bridge in Marina del Rey.  Great spot to chill out
and take a breather.  Always get to places early before the POlice are out
on the beat. They should be eating donuts about now….
DAMN!  that is a BIG, brown ugly RAT!
_______
dark hollow, noise of water and tides in my little cave….
_______
“silver stream
silvery scream
impossible concentration…”
Jim Morrison
_______
Why the fuck do I live so far inland when I am such a beach monkey?!?
Beach people are so cool and friendly and laid back.  What am I thinking?
_______
“El Bordello Alexandra” on Westminster in Venice Beach
crazy-looking house…..
_______
“Plenty of imagery with beautiful women and guns and you`ve got yourself a movie…”
“Movies need a beginning, a middle, and an end, but not necessarily in that order…”
Jean-Luc Godard
_______
“Only the dead have seen the end of war.”
Plato
_______
Every picture tells a story,
every story creates a picture….
_______
many drawings and photos
and magazine clippings follow here;
I am unable to reproduce those
for you here….
_______
“…when all the animals lie down…”
“Only the truly lost sit in a bar at 8:30am on a Tuesday morning…”
Charles Bukowski
_______
Cover of National Globe sensationalist tabloid rag:
“ANGEL SHOT DOWN
 BY U.S. TROOPS”
_______
“the night has a thousand eyes…”
_______
4/17/04
INSANE!  3 howler monkeys in a car in the city….I haven`t laughed this hard in months…
_______
If it`s fun, it can`t be bad, right?
_______
I am the ANTICOP with my long hair and mirrored aviator sunglasses….
“Officer, show me some I.D. and give me your badge and gun…”
_______
” `Everyday you find a new way to aggravate me…`
`Whatever.` “
“The Simpsons”
_______
I have no idea what this one means…. I don`t even remember writing it….
360 Club
Dead towers
dead loves
dead streets
to nowhere
everything
in muted grays
and sad blues
The night sings
a thousand tunes
that invoke
memories, memories
Thank you
O dark night
for your mysteries
thank you
for your dreams
for your nightmares even
thank you
dark night for
every ticking moment
that is lost
in your black velvet
obscurity
There is nothing now
but white noise
sirens screaming
in the distance
There is nothing
but chaos
Accept my presence
in your warm
enveloping madness
We are all part
of the same entity
There is nothing
but this revelation
this epiphany
these many blessings…
________
“You may be through with the past,
but the past ain`t through with you.”
P.T. Anderson
________
“The future`s uncertain
and the end is always near…”
“World on fire–
I`ll never wake up
in a good mood again–
I`m sick of these stinky boots…”
“TV death
which the child absorbs…”
Jim Morrison
________
“Come along on my Death Trip…”
Iggy Pop
________
I`m not buying what YOU`RE selling…
thank you,
I`ve got my own brand of lunacy…
________
DON`T BOTHER
________
Jah giveth and Jah taketh away…
________
“Free Bird”
________
Runyon Canyon:
I could probably lie down and die here
in this quiet canyon with the music of the trees
and birds singing me into eternal sleep…..
nothing but the wind…
________
“there`s a time to think, and a time to act!
And this gentleman has NO time to think…”
________
Do you want to know the most UNREALISTIC thing about the movies?
The fact that everyone is NOT talking at the the same damn time!
________
“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn`t exist.”
And like THAT, he`s gone…”
“The Usual Suspects”
________
4/20/04
4:20 pm
u know what time it is…
________
I`ll put you in pigtails and lipstick….
change your fucking underwear and brush your teeth
`cause daddy`s comin` home…
________
4/21/04
Bad vibes in the city this morning; the black folks don`t like `the skinny white surfer boy` today.
Two incidents before 9am……a black dude on a bike gives me a fearsome “I HATE YOU” look;
sometimes you just KNOW…you can FEEL it.
Then, I was looking in a truck mirror for food in my teeth and this dude comes running over thinking
I`m fucking with his car.  He was real mad.  Both of these incidents, I took with extraordinary calmness and sarcasm…
sometimes things just happen….whattcha gonna do?
________
I deserve everything I get…
________
Good news for people who love bad news…..
EVERYTHING IS FUCKED
________
” `You know what`s sick?  It`s probably in America`s best interest if we never find Osama bin Laden.  Because as long
as that motherfucker`s on the run, it`ll be harder to forget about Afghanistan.  The sooner we forget about it, the sooner
it falls apart and psychos exploit its weakness again.`
`You`re still moaning about Afghanistan, huh?  I guess you didn`t hear: the road from Kabul to Kandahar has been fixed.`
`Give me a break!  I`m so tired of hearing about that goddamn stupid road!  After all this time, the best we can say is that
we paved a goddamn ROAD?!? Big fucking deal!  I stained my deck–does that make me a humanitarian?`
`Right.  We SHOULD do more to help Afghanistan.  I`ll stimulate its economy–put me down for another fifty-pound sack of opium!` “
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26×5 Profile Analysis
apathetic          belligerent          careless          dead
allegorical         bad-ass             carefree          debunk
angry               better                 character        deceitful
arrogant            betwixt              chutzpah         demanding
action-packed   blunt                  cocksure         dementia
ectomorph        feeling               gateway           halcyon
educated          festive               gaudy              happy
egocentric        fiery                   ghost               harmony
eclectic            funny                 gigolo              hashish
epiphany          flesh                  giant                harvest
intelligent         juggernaut          key master        leader
idiotic              jungle                 killjoy                leaves
ironical            justice                kimono              legend
inquisitive        joyous                knowledgeable   lewd
insolent           juxtaposition       kook                  liver
mariner            natural               octahedron         pioneer
marijuana         nectar                oblique              pissed
merry              negotiator           obscure             potential
mighty             noisy                 obliterated          peacemaker
migrant            nothing               odd                   pirate
quartz             risk-taker             sacred              tango
quasar            renegade              sad                  taste
quarrelsome    rabble-rouser        sarcastic           tarot
quintessence   rockstar               sea-monkey      thinker
quirky             riotous                  self-propelled    tan
uncommon        vapor                watchful             X (Mr.)
underground      valorous            wary                  XXX
unconventional   valuable           wastelands         XXL
understanding    vamoose           waves               Xavier
ubiquitous         vampire             wacko               xenon
yak                 zealous
yammer          zombie
yin yang          zymurgist
yoo hoo          zero
youthful          Zion
written at 5:30 to 6am on 4/22/04, obviously stoned as hell, on the Green Line, the Blue Line and the Metro #446…
__________
standing here at Sunken City, beer in one hand, cock in the other, pissing and laughing my ass off, choking on Budweiser….
BEER; IN ONE END AND OUT THE OTHER….
__________
lizard push-ups
writhing
skittering
in the dust
beside purple flowers
mating
beside yellow dandelions
in a wasted
ruin of a city by the sea
broken and colored
with obscure writings
crumbling limestone
cliffs with the sea
and her relentless fury
crashing far below
flow
continuity…
__________
NOBODY DOES THIS BUT ME
__________
maybe because it`s CRAZY?
__________
The last time, first thing in the morning…
__________
THIS SENTENCE REALLY
SAYS NOTHING AT ALL
__________
just pissing into the wind,
yes, that is life….
_________
“Please don`t chase the clouds
temples
pagodas…”
Jim Morrison
_______
I always see the WEIRDEST things!
Craziest looking fucking bird I`ve EVER seen to date
at Point Fermin….I`m not even gonna bother to try to describe it…
I can tell you that it looked like UNREAL….I have NO IDEA what it was…
_______
Words can only go so far…..it is impossible to capture the TRUE ESSENCE
of one of my epic downhill Sector 9 skateboard runs so I`m just gonna DO IT, DO IT……
_______
Everything
is screaming blue and turquoise
gray rocks and seaweed
shimmering
mirage-like
white hot
morning sunlight
It all smells
of the vast ocean
salt
life
foamy green
and sea spray
like tiny diamonds
bathing me in their
cool brilliance
I sit
at the very edge
and gaze quietly
into the distance
of the sea
and find no answers
only more questions
blue sea
blue obscurity
blue nights and days
all of it
melting together
in cobalt and cerulean and indigo
a blue dream
that goes on and on
________
the birds will be here long after humans
have destroyed themselves and turned to dust…
________
“You`re all worthless and weak;
now drop and give me 20…”
“Niedermayer”
“Animal House”
Where did THAT one come from?
________
Ports O`Call
Acapulco for a Mai Tai and chips and salsa with Mexican music and Bob Marley, “Stir it Up”.
Watching the ships go by and feeding the seagulls in the sun….
________
142 Dash bus over Terminal Island to Blue Line to Green Line to El Segundo and then…..?
Lost somewhere by the airport….(not really lost, just pretending…)
Got off at Aviation, took the Culver City 6 bus and got out at Westchester.  Went to eat at the
Sepulveda In and Out Burger.  The airplanes fly RIGHT OVER the parking lot here.  Then I was
riding alongside landing airplanes by the turbulent airplane wind….
EPIC skateboard run down past Loyola University and the fountain on Lincoln.  Caught the 3 Big
Blue Bus in Playa Vista.  They`re building these big fucking UGLY condos everywhere.  Still a lot
of beautiful land though.  Got off the bus at Mindanao Street.  Caught the 108 Metro bus to Marquesas
Drive for a couple of Bud cans and a perfect 4:20pm smoke break.  I guess I`m feeling lazy today,
I`ve been taking a lot of buses.  Smoke at the canals, yessuh!  Onward and northward …same
faces and places in good old Venice.  Saw the same Coast Guard cutter at 5:29pm in Santa Monica
that I saw at 9:55am at Point Fermin.  It was pretty far, so I can`t be positive but still…I just KNOW
it was the same one.  I AM EVERYWHERE.  I just saw Stephen Wright (the comedian) sitting in
a black BMW in a Santa Monica parking lot, just staring out at the ocean.  He saw me, stoned, staring
too.  “I had a dream that all the babies ever prevented by birth control showed up….they were mad.”  HA!!
Deadpan funny mofo, that guy…..
I can honestly say that I go further in ONE DAY around Los Angeles, for FUN, mind you, than most people
will EVER GO in the entire duration of their lives in this vast metropolis.  I`m talking all the way up to
the point where they realize that they have completely failed at acting and they get spit out the bottom
of the porn industry….
I skateboarded 2 or 3 miles north of the Santa Monica pier to the very end of the boardwalk, then walked
the deadly PCH stretch of road at sunset hour, glaring maniacs in SUVs with cell phones glued to their
misshapen heads.  Caught the 2 on Sunset Boulevard and headed home….another beautiful day.  First, I
had dinner at the nicest Taco Bell in town with an ocean view….
Before I went back to the mean streets of Hollywood, I took one more lingering gaze at the ocean for the
day.  I could see all the way across the great Santa Monica Bay to the Palos Verdes Peninsula like a
giant sphinx, jutting into the sea like a monument, glowing hazy soft in the dying twilight of oranges and
muted reds.  I smiled with smug self-satisfaction.  It is ALL MINE.  I turned and climbed on the bus
for home.  This is Tom Brooks, signing off on another true life adventure….4/22/04
_________________
Every time I am skateboarding and I see one of you angry little monkeys in your metal coffin of a car
screaming and pounding your chest with your little paws, I realize how lucky I am that MY life is SO MUCH
easier and BETTER than yours……HA HA HA!!!!
_______
Everywhere I look nowadays, there is another girl`s ass crack hanging out of her trendy low-cut jeans with
a lower back tattoo (tramp stamp).  Ain`t it cool?
_______
2 BIG FAT-ASS motherfucks sit RIGHT next to each other in the tiny seats on an EMPTY bus.
Now, I am not making fun of their weight problem but rather their lack of use for the ample space that has been given them….
I just don`t get it.
My skinny ass is sprawled out across the whole back of the damn bus!
_______
The Spanish cleaning ladies
of Sunset Boulevard
Mexico, Honduras, El Salvador,
from EVERYWHERE
they come to America
hoping and working
for a better life
which many of them do not find,
but some do;
such is the nature
of human destinies…
“to be or not to be”
a man once said…
no matter what the case
these ladies always carry
themselves with a quiet dignity.
Their large, sad almond eyes
that sometimes light up
perhaps seeing and greeting a friend
as the #2 Metro bus rolls down Sunset
through other people`s dreams
that DID come true…
Pacific Palisades, Beverly Hills, West Hollywood,
these girls of 19 years old
wait there by the mansions of Bel Air
with their hair, shiny-black
wrapped tightly in a bun…
these women of 43,
probably with seven kids
of their own somewhere,
here or Guatemala…
She toils and she works
and she sends money
home to her family
and then she rides home
on the bus to Vermont Ave.
and beyond
with her big, brown Spanish eyes
reflecting the neon lights
of the City of Angels,
the place where dreams die hard
and hope dies easily…
the cleaning ladies
of Sunset Blvd…..
________
OH MY GOD,
IT`S TRUE!
AM A CRACKPOT!
________
I`ll be direct with you:
Do you have a problem with alcohol
or
does alcohol have a problem with YOU?
Because for me, it`s neither….we get along just fine, thank you….
(although I have been in A LOT of fights with Jack Daniels, and he ALWAYS wins….)
________
first dragonflies of the season…4:23pm up on the roof, hovering over my head…..
________
“Nothing matters
but flopping on a mattress at
2pm with cheap dreams and a beer…”
Bukowski
________
There`s really something to be said for PRETENDING you`re at the beach no matter where
you are.  I`ve been doing this my entire life while lying in the sun dreaming.  Often enough,
(most the time, really,) I was actually AT the beach.  BUT, no matter what my circumstance
or location, though, I always imagine the waves crashing and the blue, blue sea…
I was on a rocky island of stones in the middle of the Vale River in Colorado, surrounded by
rushing water and forest trees, but in my thoughts I was in the sun by the sea, while
the bewildered locals in flannel shirts laughed at me from the shore.  A pool at a highway
motel in Tuscon, Arizona with one of my girls; in Vegas, poolside with cocktails and a hot
Persian babe; in a backyard in New Jersey, lying in a kiddie pool listening to Burning Spear
and staring listlessly up at the Seaside Heights blue-green water tower, or here at Yucca
Estates Hollywood rooftop with the white noise of the city all around me, here in the middle
of the Yucca triangle…I AM ALWAYS, in my heart and mind, by the OCEAN…..
(Little did I know at this time how much I would need this imagination so desperately while
being landlocked here in the remote mountains of Nagano, Japan….)
________
huh huh huh,  i be a dummy, huh huh, honks and horns and whistles and cowbells and clowns….me stoopid huh huh
________
“mmmm, and trouble, there will be…”
“very powerful, you have become,
much to learn, you still have…”
“Yoda”
________
I`m here to tell you highbrow intellectual types out there who think someone who smokes the herb is an idiot who
just stares at the TV and goes, “huh, huh, huh….”  Well, 90 percent of the time, you may be right.  But there are
exceptions….for example: ME.  Oh, like you`ve never watched some retarded sitcom and went, “huh, huh, huh…”
LIAR.  Of course you have.  What`s YOUR excuse?!?  You were sober.  At least I was high.
________
I`m probably the only person in the city right now sitting on a roof above Hollywood and Vine watching a white, plastic
grocery bag dancing on the wind high above the buildings, east of the Knickerbocker.  How did it get way up there?
________
Always with the dead bodies on Vine…….AGAIN…..
________
IT`S AN EPIDEMIC OF FLIES!
Santa Ana Winds and I am plagued by irritating insects!!
________
Everything I ever read, I soaked up like a sponge…
stored in the memory vault forever….
________
“To see a world in a grain of sand
and heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hand
and eternity in an hour…”
William Blake
________
Anything lost is meant to be found
________
We live in the age of things we DON`T need
that we think we DO need….
expound on that later….
(nope, I forgot; I lost the thread…)
________
True life tale
I know a guy who gets his DOG to give him urine samples for his company`s
monthly drug test!  HA!  He drives an 18 wheel big rig and he is HIGH as a
fucking kite.  You`d think they`d figure out that it was dog piss with the high
content of kibbles and bits but who knows?
________
WORST SUNDAY BRUNCH EVER at Marmalade Cafe
The boss man can FUCK OFF.  I was standing there later, staring
into space when a little old lady walked by and said, “hang in there, sweetie…”
She must have seen him yelling at me.  What a dick.  (He actually apologized later).
Alright, I`ll forgive you Russell, you Aussie bastard…
________
Blake has been banned from Canada for five years….!
What the hell did he DO up there?
________
“My new thing is to ignore you…”
________
When I`m lying on the roof, the air conditioner next door at Joseph`s makes a rhythmic squeaking
noise that reminds me of cicadas in the trees in good old New Orleans…
________
“Do you know what it means
to miss New Orleans?”
____
It doesn`t mean ANYTHING AT ALL….
THAT`S the beauty of it!
________
Tabloid cover 4/26/04
“POPE WANTS MEL GIBSON
AS A SUCCESSOR”
I laughed for 20 minutes…
_________
My magic formula for everyday livin`…..
just smile and nod and everything will be fine….
_________
JESUS JACKSON!!
_________
Sitting on the roof at 7:25pm with a tropical-feeling hot wind hissing through the palms, a fiery orange
sunset, a jet piercing the dome of sky in a silver streak, swallows fluttering above like bats, 2 ladybugs
sit on my blue swim trunks while I try to play the blues on my guitar and say good night to my city.  The
towers of Downtown Los Angeles glitter like a space city in the fading light, purple envelops everything.
The city is alive, an entity, pulsing; tiny people run to and fro while I sit alone on my roof playing MY music.
Everything whirls around me, magic in the air and into the night…
_________
No offense to Bateman( he`s a good man ), but sometimes I feel like I`m getting DUMBER just living with
this Cro-Magnon specimen.  The things he says are astoundingly ridiculous at times and can just blow
your fucking mind!
________
“YOU`RE UGLIER THAN A MODERN ART MASTERPIECE!”
________
In Red China, there are 7 million people that live in natural caves, a very Chinese solution to overpopulation.
There is actually a MINISTRY OF TRUTH in Peking (in charge of lies, no doubt…and propaganda), very Orwellian.
________
“All genuine knowledge originates in direct experience.”
Mao Zhedong
“The Great Helmsman”
(and a certified loony in later years…)
(this is a good quote though…)
________
PLEASE DON`T INTERRUPT ME WHILE I`M IGNORING YOU
________
Blake and Jennifer and I were kicking it poolside at the Renaissance Hotel in Hollywood when “Dallas”
80s superstar, Larry Hagman (“J.R. Ewing”) rolled in with his entourage.
Blake says,”What`s up, daddy-o?”
Hagman smiles and replies,”you got the right idea.”
Blake says,”poolside with a beautiful woman…how could I go wrong?”
This really happened.
________
ALL OF THIS
REALLY
HAPPENED!
________
you can`t stop ME from being ME
________
ENTERTAIN ME, CLOWN
________
“all in all
you`re just another
brick in the wall…”
Pink Floyd
_______
4/30  Friday
I was accosted by some Jesus freaks on the Boulevard today while I was reading this very book.  They thought
it was a little bible.  They said, “I see you`re reading the bible, would you like one of these?”  It was called
AWAKE and it was one of those scary little pamphlets filled with hellfire and brimstone and I politely declined
and went back to writing the scripture in this very book.  You know, it DOES kind of look like a bible….
________
what do you people want from me?!?
________
“send in the clowns…”
________
why do the same things keep happening over and over again….
I mean, not just for me….for humanity in general; will we never learn?
________
WELL, THIS IS JUST POINTLESS…
________
“A man tells the stories so many times,
that he BECOMES the stories…
and they live on after him
and in that way, he becomes immortal…”
“Big Fish”
directed by Tim Burton
_______
Work; the height of tedium…
_______
5/04/04
Yucca Estates
Meeting of the minds
(can you detect my sarcasm?)
OH, BUT WE DO HAVE FUN!!
_______
“Though we are in the bowels of hell,
we shall have the eyes of angels…”
Clive Barker
_______
____________________________________________________
“Memory, prophecy and fantasy–
the past, the future, and the dreaming moment between–
are all one country, living one immortal day.
To know that is Wisdom.
To use it is the Art.”
“Nothing OUTSIDE that doesn`t begin INSIDE;
nothing real that isn`t dreamed first…”
Clive Barker
“The Great and Secret Show”
____________________________________________________
________
5/4/04
rooftop sleep, reading under a lone lightbulb, yellow full moon, crickets…
________
I am alone
here in the darkness
a single bulb
illuminates
a lone figure
on a lounge chair
at 11:52pm
on the roof
above the city
The midnight hour
draws near
time moves
inexorably forward
further into life
deeper into mystery
ever closer
to death
The hum of the city
hovers around me
all around
like a living
breathing entity
I put my finger
on the pulse of the city
and there are
many stories to tell
The high-pitched
squealing and clicking
of bats
approaches me
from somewhere above
in the velvet night
surreal
dreamlike
the whitish-gray bats
flitter out of the blackness
and into my halo of light
They circle erratically
four or five of them
chasing tiny unseen insects
through the night sky
above Los Angeles
You see
worlds within worlds
layers upon layers
jewels within lotus flowers
the gifts
continue to come to me
and I continue to be grateful
I slip into a certain
state of mind and
fly above the night city
with the bats
Everything
seems so tiny
and unimportant
from up here
chasing insects
The metropolis
is spread out below
like a vast and glowing
blanket of gems
It sparkles
It deceives
It enchants
Filled with
tragedy and seduction
and treachery
The wind blows
across the Mojave desert
and brings with it
the perfumed scents
of a billion blooming
nightflowers
and the cold
blue moon
is above
seeing all with
an uncaring eye
I am just a man
again
sitting on a rooftop
in Hollywood, CA
dreaming a million dreams
The wind blows
through the hills
and canyons
and “the great and secret show”
is going on all around me
Disembodied voices
ghosts
night creatures lurking
human and non-human alike
breaking glass
sirens
bass drums
all sounds
hover in the Los Angeles night
larger than life
filled with intrigues
and more scandalous behavior
than most people would believe
Tiny people
tiny lives
Up here
dreaming
I find it all
an aberration
a joke
I seek a way
to rise above
this beautiful
hideous
fetid swamp
this quagmire
of broken dreams
and new nightmares
I seek a way
to rise out of the ashes
like the Phoenix
exploding
into the LA night
like a comet
ever-further
ever-outward
to the furthest edges
of the universe
and beyond
rising
rising…….
_________
THE END IS NEAR
_________
“Whatever path you take in this life,
always be true to yourself…”
“There is nothing we can hold onto in this world;
only by letting go can we truly possess what is real….”
“Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”
_________
BEGIN NEW CHAPTER HERE………
THB3

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