By Tom H. Brooks 3

Yes, this is me at 3 years old – on the beach where I belong, looking right at home, even at this young age.  Always and forever the original SoCal lounge lizard in his element.  Ahhh, the happy innocence of youth…

YES, thank you very much; I`ll be here all week and all month and all year and all decade and for the next generation and century and millennium and aeon….I`ll just go on telling the stories until there are no stories left to tell…..

Seemingly meaningless stories
are just smaller histories.
A CRAZY Philosophical Treatise for a New Age…
Yeah, right…
An Untimely Man
Who`s Always on Time
The Ancient Comedy
Literary License to Ill…
Sitting in the last days on the Hollywood rooftop:
A wiry tower rising into the indigo blue twilight sky…
letters framed in neon royal blue
Figure it out if you`ve been there….or don`t.
“Go then; there are other worlds than these…”
Stephen King
“The Dark Tower”
7/13/04  10:16pm
An extremely LOW-flying double-rotored military helicopter, ghost-white
under city lights, buzzes over my roof and curves, as usual right up into
“It`s awful easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but
at night it is another thing.”
Ernest Hemingway
“The Sun Also Rises”
As always, my timing is PERFECT.  I come out onto Venice Beach after a canal-side sojourn
with a beer, and am greeted with one of my favorite beautiful sights; the sun is just now setting
over the Santa Monica mountains with a sailboat passing right through its glowing reflection on
the ocean.  And then, a beautiful girl with flowing dark hair walks by with her dog and smiles
with a hello for me.  Yes, life is very good….
Too much technology, sensory overload from mass media, and SHOPPING MALLS that shamelessly
promote hysterical consumerism have marred and jellied the average human clone`s senses to the
dullness of a rusty old butter knife.  Banal talk, repetition, routine, snippets of conversation….BORING.
What a bunch of deadbeats we have become!  Look at yourselves!  Where is the lust for life, for
adventure, for amorous encounters in the night?!  What has happened to us?  Was it always this ridiculous?
Where`s the passion?!?  Now, if you`ll excuse me, I`m going to Old Navy and Abercrombie and Fitch to
buy some clothes that I don`t need and to Sur la Table to get a cappuccino maker that I don`t want but
I want to be able to SAY that I have one.  And then I`m gonna TEXT some people.  Sounds exciting, eh?
Sometimes I thing of one serious thing and then I laugh seriously.
I am 35 fucking years old.  I am undeniably a grown adult man.  And I am still a total fool.  Like a child.
Now, I think it is okay to be young at heart, to be somewhat childish and immature.  I think it is the secret
to looking and feeling young.  But I realize, nonetheless, my position and “status” at this juncture in life
is laughable.  I have hardly any savings.  I work at a stupid fucking restaurant as a waiter and I hate
every minute that I am in there.  It really does make me sick.  I hate that fucking mall even more.
At 35, MY dad was already married and divorced with two kids, married AGAIN with two MORE kids
and on the verge of a SECOND divorce.  And…he had a real job…you know, benefits and such.
 Now I don`t know that we could call his situation “better or “more” than mine but it was certainly
A LOT DIFFERENT.  It was a very far cry from even a vague or remote similarity
to anything about MY life.  But you know what?  I am POSITIVE that I am having WAY
MORE FUN than that guy ever had.  I mean, even in one day….HA!!  My cup runneth over….
just put it out there and it takes on
a strange life all its own…
Here it is again; that old feeling of movement, change, migration, impending abandonment….
I am alone in the apartment in which I have dwelled for almost two years.  Bateman took off
for Valencia or wherever the hell he`s from way out in the sticks.  I actually miss that big
dummy.  Blake is down in the ghetto.  Polston is heading out of here.  This is the end of an
era.  Indeed.  Alone, I sit here with loud music cranking, no horseface, just me; festive, yet
a little sad.  Living it up, yet pensive….nostalgic.
I have been here before and, no doubt, I shall be here again—forever and constantly in movement
like the nomad that I am.  As I like to say……EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS CHANGING….
2 weeks left….
moving west…
Senator John Edwards visits Farmer`s Market.
This is the second time in my life I`ve shaken hands
wth a high-ranking politician.  The first was a few years
back when I went up to Eugene, Oregon with JB.  We
went to the university where Bill Clinton was making a
campaign stop and giving a speech.  He was not yet elected
at that time.  It must have been 1991.  I met this girl inside
who had some special armband so I joined her and went
right to the front of the auditorium.  He was a pretty damn
good speaker, if I recall, Bill was. I was sure he kept looking
at me because I was the only red, tan face in a sea of paleness
up in rainy Oregon.  Afterwards, he did the handshaking thing.
Of course, I shook hands with him, knowing that I would likely
never meet a President again.  Everybody knows I hate politics.
That night, I got the girl I met at the speech into the sack for
a romp.  Oh yes, and the green herb we smoked up there was excellent…
A Conceptual Art Project
If able to do this, I will name it  Impulse Reactionary Art:
Get yellow police tape, white chalk, and crimson/brown paint.  Make a body
outline complete with bloodstains right on Hollywood Blvd.  Film tourists
reacting to the carnage.  Film everybody.  This should be good for some
(It never happened.  I didn`t know where to procure police tape and then later, I forgot….of course…)
“This really scares him, a mass of people turned into a sculptured object.  It is like a toy with thirteen
thousand parts, just tootling along, an innocent and menacing thing.
Around them in the world, people ride escalators going up and sneak secret glances at the faces
coming down.  People dangle teabags over hot water in white cups.  Cars run silently on autobahns,
streaks of painted light.  People sit at desks and stare at office walls.  They smell their shirts and drop
them in the hamper.  People bind themselves into numbered seats and fly across time zones and high
cirrus and deep night, knowing there is something they`ve forgotten to do. The future belongs to crowds.
Don DeLillo
“Mao ll”
 As I head over (Friday) to check my new crib, I realize I am moving into old rock and roll Sunset Strip, Jim
Morrison turf, West Hollywood…..the Rainbow Room, Barney`s Beanery, the Viper Room, etc….YEAH!!
damn, was I ever wrong!!  West Hollywood is overrun with queers, a virtual gay bar on the streets….
Candyland Lane.  There are bubble machines on the corners, showtunes blaring out of hidden speakers,
butterflies fluttering about, stores packed from floor to ceiling with butt lube and anal probes and assless
leather chaps.  I don`t think I`ll be here very long….no, not long at all.  Plus, I`m moving in with Chris
and his slobbering Saint Bernard….I kind of hate it already and I haven`t even moved in yet…
Some idiot on a cell phone waited for two green lights before actually turning left.  The bus driver actually
got OFF the bus and walked over and yelled in his window, “TURN CHICKENHEAD!!”
I am NOT kidding.
“By the Rivers of Babylon,
there we sat down, yea,
we wept when we remembered Zion.
For they that carried us away captive
required of us a song
and they that wasted us required of us mirth,
saying sing us one of the songs of Zion.
How shall we sing of Zion in a strange land?”
Psalms 137
From Eden to Babylon….what a long, strange trip it`s been….
and it`s FAR from over….
When Mom and I cleaned out the old storage space a while back, I found
my old baby blanket and my old teddy bear, “Smokey.”  I sent them to her
in Hawaii since I have no use for them now.  I told her to please put it under
a palm tree with a beautiful view of the ocean.  It is symbolic.  If I can`t be
there now, at least a piece of my long-lost youth can.  I will get there someday…
I always was a sentimental fool.
The secret is to NOT get caught….
God is within you.
East of Eden
“And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us,
to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand and take
also of the Tree of Life, and eat, and live forever…”
Genesis 3:22
This is another episode of “USE THE BIBLE AGAINST THE JESUS FREAKS”
Don`t you Bible thumpers try to tell ME anything I don`t already know.
I`M RIGHT and you are WRONG.
“…for dust thou art and unto dust shalt thou return.”
Genesis 3:19
“I liked movies the way most people did–as diversions, as animated wallpaper, as fluff.
No matter how beautiful or hypnotic the images sometimes were, they never satisfied
me as powerfully as words did.  Too much was given, I felt, not enough was left to the
viewer`s imagination, and the paradox was that the closer movies came to simulating
reality, the worse they failed at representing the world–which is IN US as much as it
is around us.
Paul Auster
“The Book of Illusions”
“Tumbling Dice”
Oh sure, I was born in L.A. but I`m from hidden Los Angeles, not “Hollywood,”
so don`t load me in with the riff-raff…
“AAAwwwww, this is everybody`s fault but mine!”
“Everybody is stupid.  That`s why everybody does everything.”
Homer Simpson
 “Moments of crisis produce a redoubled vitality in men.”
translation: Men live more fully with their backs against the wall.
“It seems that the philosophers were right; nothing that happens to us is ever lost.”
Paul Auster
“At this moment in history, everything withers in a day; whoever lives too long dies alive.
As we move through life, we leave behind three or four images of ourselves, each one
different from the others; we see them through the fog of the past, like portraits of our
different ages.”
If and when this book is published, dear reader, you can be certain
that the man who wrote it is long dead.
Paul Auster
I just had a classic Hollywood walk followed by a Red Line train to Downtown LA.
There, I swam at the rooftop pool at the Standard Hotel and had another great
walk.  I`m just soaking it up.  I threw a coin in the Chinatown wishing well that
said LOTTO.  Perchance to dream.  Wish me luck.  Since I`m moving to the
Westside, I`m sure I`ll be spending less time Downtown and MORE at the beach,
which is NOT a problem.  This walk is just for nostalgia….memories…..
After being forced to give away his gun…..
“Not Mr. Blasty!!
Don`t worry, baby; soon you`ll be shooting angels in heaven…”
Homer Simpson
On my Downtown walk, I stopped by the Golden Gopher on 8th Street, an OLD
bar that originally opened in 1905.  NEVER in my long career of urban exploration,
have I seen a place get a more sudden and dramatic facelift.  It used to look like
a bar in a Tijuana whorehouse.  Now it is dark with an old exposed brick wall,
great furniture and an excellent smoking patio complete with a view of skyscrapers.
Luckily, I have photos of the old version.  I have to admit, they did a good job.
I don`t like it.  Now it will attract the red-velvet-rope, martini-drinking, trendy fucks.
It was much better with Mexican music and the old leathery female bartender and
the pool tables.  I will probably never come here again.
Somehow I will miss this open and empty apartment that I have had to myself for
the last couple weeks here on Yucca.  The shadows of the streetlights make
wavering shadows and abstract designs across the dark walls where Bateman
once had a SLIPKNOT poster.  Shadows of the night, whereas my next place
is enveloped in a coffin-like darkness, which, I suppose, can also be somewhat
comforting.  I suspect I won`t be there long anyway.
“For everything to be consummated, for me to feel less alone, I had only to wish
for a large crowd of spectators at my execution and that they greet me with cries of hate.”
Albert Camus
“The Stranger”
“I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world.”
“You may say I`m a dreamer,
but I`m not the only one…”
John Lennon
“I want to immerse myself in American magic and dread.”
“All plots tend to move deathward.  This is the nature of plots.  Political plots, terrorist plots,
lovers plots, narrative plots, plots that are part of children`s games.  We edge nearer death
every time we plot.  It is like a contract that all must sign, the plotters as well as those who
are the targets of the plot.
Is this true?  Why did I say it?  What does it mean?”
“The flow is constant–words, pictures, numbers, facts, graphics, statistics, specks, waves,
particles.  Only a catastophe gets our attention.  We want them, we need them, we depend
on them.  As long as they happen somewhere else.  This is where California comes in;
mudslides, brushfires, coastal erosion, earthquakes, mass killings, et cetera.  We can
relax and enjoy these disasters because in our hearts we feel that California deserves whatever
it gets.  Californians invented the concept of lifestyle.  This alone warrants their doom.
Japan is pretty good for disaster footage.  India remains largely untapped.  They have
tremendous potential with their famines, monsoons, religious strife, train wrecks, boat sinkings, etc.
But, their disasters tend to go unrecorded.  Three lines in the newspaper.  NO FILM FOOTAGE,
NO SATELLITE HOOKUP.  This is why California is so important.  We not only enjoy
seeing them punished for their relaxed lifestyle and progressive social ideas but we KNOW
we`re not missing anything.  The cameras are right there.  They`re standing by.  Nothing
terrible escapes their scrutiny.”
(fucking New Yorkers…..)
“Then I stood and listened.
The power of the dead is that we think they see us all the time.  The dead have a presence.  Is there
a level of energy composed solely of the dead?  They are also in the ground, of course, asleep and
crumbling.  Perhaps we are what they dream.
May the days be aimless.  Let the seasons drift.  Do not advance the action according to a plan.”
“In the dark the mind runs on like a devouring machine, the only thing awake in the universe.”
“But in the end it doesn`t matter what they see or think they see.  The terminals are equipped
with holographic scanners, which decode the binary secret of every item, infallibly.  This is the
language of waves and radiation, or how the dead speak to the living.  And this is where we wait
together, regardless of age, our carts stocked with brightly colored goods.  A slowly moving line,
satisfying, giving us time to glance at the tabloids in the racks.  Everything we need that is not
food or love is here in the tabloid racks.  The tales of the supernatural and the extraterrestrial.
The miracle vitamins, the cures for cancer, the remedies for obesity.  The cults of the famous
and the dead.”
Don DeLillo
“White Noise”
The sum of our knowledge is what we learn as “facts,”
what we actually BELIEVE, and how we apply all of this
to the tangible and intangible worlds around us.
Much that is accepted as “fact”, is merely conjecture
and is often even a harmful misrepresentation of the harsh
realities that surround us in the vortex.
Never lose focus.
Pay attention.
Think for yourselves.
Written after a 5 hour nap at 12:30am on Tuesday 7/27/04
Great!  Now I`m gonna be up all fucking night!
“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.”
“It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.”
Isaac Asimov (his character, “Salvor Hardin”)
Thursday 7/29/04
My last FULL day at Yucca Estates, 6358 Yucca Apt. 301.  Truly the
But again, new beginnings can be new opportunities, new sights, new
sounds, new and inventive ways to get into trouble….
Yes, all new; new art, new inspiration.  I say my goodbyes, always the
nostalgic one, rooftop, loud music, alone, writing.  New legends, new
adventures await me.  Wherever I go, I BRING THE NOISE, I trod
heavily.  I will make my voice heard, things will be carved in stone,
statues will be sculptured, the stuff of myth will be born.  With these
things, I am heavily armed.  I go forward now, boldly, a new unknown
epic waiting to be written……..
Notoriously a solitary creature, a flock of ravens (perhaps 50 of them) has
turned up to say goodbye for my two-year stay in this mental hospital on
Yucca.  The spirit bird never lets me down.  Sunset….7:30pm
9/10ths moon rising orange over Downtown LA…
7/30/04  Friday
My last beer on the rooftop.  The house is empty.  Nothing at all.  Tonight
I will sleep at my new apartment on Larrabee.  Just now, a purple balloon
floated low and just over my head and then sank into a yard across the
street on Ivar with a life all its own.  It reminded me of that book I had as a
child, “The Red Balloon.”  Just drifting on the wind, that`s all folks……
Goodbye, Yucca Estates….it`s been a fucking BLAST…..
“I`ll tell you how the sun set
as shadows marched in lines
and God sent west his rainbows
a color at a time
the hills put on their blankets
the hawk and crow were done
and as I said softly in the twilight
see you tomorrow, sun
I sat out in the darkness
and I felt the dew drops fall
I watched the moon rise in its place
I heard the nightbirds call
God`s world, in perfect order
may I be in accordance
on my last setting sun…”
Johnny Cash
Hand in glove
If the hat fits, wear it
“Let the train blow her whistle when I go…”
Johnny Cash
“Last sight at 8pm on Yucca:
That big orange full moon rising by a glittering Downtown LA,
the moon surrounded by 4 or 5 wavering city spotlights……
See ya……
Sitting rooftop at the Wyndham Bel-Age Hotel at Larrabee and the Sunset Strip.  I`m
sipping a bloody mary and congratulating myself on my devious and incomparable
cleverness.  This is truly a new height of pool-hopping success for myself.  I am the
MASTER of hotel pool-dwelling.  This place requires a key card to even take the elevator,
so I simply walked up the stairs to the second floor, and took the service elevator,
which does NOT require a key card.  I went up with a couple of Latino workers and
walked out into the kitchen and roof of the, BAR NONE, BEST hotel view I`ve had
yet in all of LA.  The entire city is laid out at my feet.  The water is cool and refreshing,
the bloody mary is spicy and I make a toast to all the good things in life.
All you gotta do is ACT LIKE YOU OWN THE PLACE.
This is the world we live in:
become one with the machine
be destroyed by the machine.
Grim choices, indeed,
but it is our fault for dwelling in
I can`t help it,
I told you, I WAS BORN THIS WAY.
 At the beginning of the Iraq War, the following is an excerpt
from a speech by the French Minister of Foreign Affairs,
quite eloquent, I might add…..
“Make no mistake about it; the choice is indeed between two visions of the world.
To those who choose to use force and think they can resolve the world`s complexity
through swift and preventive action, we offer in contrast determined action over
time.  For today, to ensure our security, all the dimensions of the problem MUST
be taken into account: both the manifold crises and their many facets, including
cultural and religious.  Nothing lasting in international relations can be built therefore
without dialogue and respect for the other, without exigency and abiding by principles,
especially for the democracies that must set the example.  To ignore this is to run
the risk of misunderstanding, radicalization and spiraling violence.  This is even more
true in the Middle East, an area of fractures and ancient conflict where stability
MUST be a major objective for us.”
Dominique de Villepin
Regarding the Bush administration`s truly absurd hibbity-hoo on the so-called “Coalition
of the Willing” to lend a hand in the Iraq fiasco…
“And while Morocco was short on military assistance, they did offer to send 2000 monkeys to help
detonate land mines in Iraq.  But they didn`t and, if you don`t cough up the monkeys, you don`t get
to reap the benefits of being a member of the “Coalition of the Willing.”  Anyway, the “Coalition”
doesn`t need monkeys when it`s already got a more advanced simian leading it.”
Michael Moore
The roommate, Chris, has an American flag covering the west window as a curtain in our apartment.
Every afternoon after sitting poolside, I come inside when the sun is low in the sky & it lights up Old Glory
for her final twilight.  It seems perfectly sad, perfectly appropriate imagery in these crazy days.
Something is terribly wrong.  Time will tell.
A man of substance can take a defeat and turn it into a victory.
Chris has a parakeet named Mel that just flies around the living room, chirping.
I think he likes Coltrane`s, Ascension…
A funny sight at Santa Monica Beach….
A corn-rowed black homeboy with a HUGE ghetto blaster playing all out “NIGGA WHAT?!?”
type of rap (money, power, cars, bitches etc…), bass KICKING—walks by a kid`s day camp,
full of 3 or 4-year-old toddlers in light blue t-shirts.  Everyone looks at him, everyone stares.
He is totally oblivious.  These are the examples the kids live by…
“Science can heal or science can kill.  It depends on the soul of the man using the science.
It is the soul that interests me.”
Dan Brown
” `Do you mind if I ask you a strange question?`
`Only if I may give you a strange answer.` “
Venice Beach 8/5/04
TRUE summer is now upon me….Hare Krishnas with their drums and chants, Euros, Asians, all tourists,
quirky locals, tension, love, hippies, hate-mongers….I hear Burning Spear reggae in one ear and a one-man
band in the other…..every type of character, all the flavors of humanity…..
Humans….almost every single word we utter is redundant….
Skateboarding the alleys of Beverly Hills at 10pm for no good reason….
Some nights,
I don`t care if I ever wake up the next morning.
“We don`t need gun control, we need BULLET control.  I say make every bullet cost $5000.00.  $5000.00!!!
There would be no more innocent bystanders.  Someone gets shot, you say, `Damn!  He must have deserved
it!  He got $5000.00 worth of bullet in his ass!
If I had a gun, you`d be dead!  I`m gonna work, save my money—you better PRAY I can`t get bullets on layaway…!` “
Chris Rock
“One thing I realized after 9/11–a public that is this out of control with fear, should NOT have a lot of guns and ammo lying around.”
Michael Moore
“Bowling for Columbine”
I just wanna know why if you already have a BILLION dollars, why do you need a BILLION MORE?!?
Up Beverly Drive, off Coldwater Canyon, Franklin Canyon Road….a lake, that`s right, a LAKE, and thousands
of beautiful trees.  A taste of the High Sierra and what`s more, IT IS RIGHT IN THE HEART OF LA.  Sunlit
treetops at 5:30pm, waving marsh grass in a gentle breeze, hummingbirds framed against an azure sky, shiny
metallic-blue dragonflies hovering over water turtles, carp fish and the chirruping of frogs…it really makes you forget where you are…
Ich bin ein Dummkopf….
8/9/04  11:20am
I am walking through Echo Park in LA, place of my birth.  I am on Bellevue Avenue.  My good friend, Dave Polston is living on
this street now.  I was born very close to here on this street at Queen of Angels Hospital.  Downtown is in the near distance.
The sun is beating down on the land and I am so alive….
Listening to George Harrison singing “Love You To” on my earphones….(“each day just goes so fast, you turn around, it`s past…”)
At this moment, a Monarch Butterfly flutters gracefully right over my head, surely a blessing from the heavens….
18,000 homeless people in Downtown LA and out of ALL of them, I just saw TWO today that I already have photos of in my classic archives…..
(Mickey Rourke lookalike and Hawaiian shirt guy…..)
Notes from a Dirty, Dusty Downtown LA empty lot….
Blake and I are sitting south of the LA skyscrapers.  We`re drinking beer and smoking the good herb
and speaking of trips around the world.  Somehow, when you`re sitting in an empty lot on sharp rocks,
ANYTHING seems possible.  The future has no limits.  Nothing can stop us but our own laziness….
Craby Joe`s, Downtown at 7th and Main, Charlie Parker jazz on the juke in a Bukowskiesque type of place….
$1.55 Miller High Life on draft, actual pigs feet in a jar, derelicts, vagrants outside arguing over drug deals….BEAUTIFUL…
An excellent Downtown odyssey; skid row bars, empty lots, Cole`s French Dip sandwiches and a pitcher of beer, the Golden Gopher,
Craby Joe`s, the King Edward Saloon, scumbags and derelicts at every turn (“sprechen sie Deutsch?”), the only people to fear were
ourselves and we didn`t even worry about THAT.  Most people are so scared to go where Blake and I went.  They would rather hang
out on the Westside at a stupid mall (like where I work).  They don`t know the kind of strange adventures that they are missing,
with their lack of adventure sense and their crowd mentality.  THIS is real life….
“The follow-up of an idea or of a vision is more important than its beginning.”
Bernard-henri Levy
“Dangerous purity”
“History has more imagination than men do.”
“The Devil`s greatest trick is to make us think he doesn`t exist.”
“History`s greatest trick is perhaps to play the comedy of its own exhaustion.”
“War, Evil, and the End of History”
“The horror…..the horror….”
“Heart of Darkness”  and  “Apocalypse Now”
“The Idea; year zero of humanism; History reduced to its living humanity; by going from the infinitely
great of the marble heroes of days gone by and their dazzling biographical details to the infinitely small
of those men, made of all men,”
fighting for what?  Nothing…pointless wars, useless slaughter, without aim or sensible purpose, just the
dark cloak of the dead pervading everything living around it…
“Nothing can stop me now, cause I don`t care anymore…”
Trent Reznor
“Degree Zero of politics: never before has war been reduced to this clash of criminals and puppets, clones and clowns.
The height of buffoonery and the depth of naked, unadorned violence, reduced to the bone of its bloody truth.  Even
monsters are deflated when theological ages draw to a close.”
Bernard-henri Levy
Venice Beach Sticker for sale….
“Her fake tits really brought out her eyes”
Some guy`s artwork in Venice
“The only thing we can say, for now, is that the disappearance of meaning is not an idea, but a fact;
and that, for this fact, this actively experienced nihilism, we are already paying the price.”
One of my great titles for a vulgar photo which also symbolizes the contrasts of our lovely city, LA:
Reach out and touch someone……heh, heh, heh
fictional conversations are the best
“Can one, under the pretext that they tell us nothing, choose to wash one`s hands of these silent killings?”
“The Blue of Noon”
“One must be superior to mankind in force, in loftiness of soul, in contempt.”
“The thoughtlessly-living man drifts from one life to another, like a monkey looking for fruit in the forest.  Like a monkey,
the heedless man is ruled by an agitated mind.  Such a troubled man is like a monkey, in that both are trapped by
pleasure-bound streams of craving.  Also like a monkey, the restless man is overcome by selfish sorrows.  The
unenlightened man twists in his bonds of attachment like a monkey with his besotted hankerings.  The deluded man
capers like a monkey in pursuit of wretched desire.  Neither the confused man nor the monkey can ever break free
from longing and sensuality.  Do you understand?
I understand completely, Swami.
Care for a banana?”
Matt Groening
“Life in Hell” comic strip
” `Are my methods….unsound?`
`I don`t see any method at all, sir.` “
“Even the jungle wanted him dead.”
“I love the smell of napalm in the morning.  Smells like…..victory.”
“Apocalypse Now”
You see, THIS is why I don`t watch much TV….
I turned it on for 5 minutes and found yet another insane Fox Network show called
“Man vs. Beast.”  I watched a man race a monkey(chimp) climbing a tree.  Needless
to say, the man lost miserably.  The next event was a bunch of midgets and dwarves
trying to tame a giant, angry, one-humped camel.  After this, I sank into about 20 minutes
of convulsive and hysterical laughter.  This is why marijuana is MADE for television…
“What shatters into pieces on those African roads, is all the philosophy I have in my head.  What disappears
into the black hole is the very claim of this philosophy to put the world in perspective, to judge it.  Yes, down
there on that road, in the middle of burned coffee fields, faced with all these ragged poor people lined up, plastic
jugs in hand, in front of a broken fountain–what appears to me like a terrible fact is the necessity of REVERSING
THE PERSPECTIVE and letting, not this philosophy judge the world, but the world judge this philosophy and
dismantle its systems as one dismantles a bad stage set.  Philosophy lesson.  True end of philosophy.  Philosophy
stripped bare by the damned, even.  The perfect crime.”
“Nietzsche believed we take refuge in nothingness out of hatred and fear of life.  The truth is that we take refuge in
life out of fear and hatred of nothingness–the truth is that we cling to life, we drown our sorrows with diversions and
life, most of all, in order not to have to think about death and nothingness.  We have to force them to see it, then.
There has to be a terrorism of the gaze.  We`ll have to do what American soldiers did in 1944 after liberation of the
death camps, when they forced the German city dwellers to file past the corpses.  Innocent, the ordinary German
citizens?  Never, ever lent a hand to the crematoriums of Bergen-Belsen?  Maybe.  If you like.  But that`s not the
question now.  The gesture, all the same, of the Americans forcing them just to file by, to look, to keep their eyes
open, above all not to go back to sleep.  A good metaphor, in short, for the role of intellectuals.”
“I have the feeling that we are entering a world where this kind of discourse will be more and more difficult to understand.
And then I mark this date in black because of what it tells us, finally, about the stubborn determination of our era to
say nothing, nothing at all, about these black holes where the worst is brewing and where History itself seems either
suspended or seized with madness.”
Bernard-henri Levy
“War, Evil, and the End of History”
To try to make `sense` of it all, this senselessness going on in the world around us; well, it seems only to give rise
to still more questions….a catch-22.  Where does it end?  Begin?
No answers.
So we sit here in front of our television sets, time moving inexorably forward, a juggernaut, destroying everything
in our path, sitting in a void of our own making…
FUCKING WORK!!  always suffering like a caged animal in here….!
Work is a big waste of this gift of life.
Sometimes I think I`m not cut out for this world
because my mind is always voyaging elsewhere…
Yes, I`ve been involved in many humanitarian activities over the years….
Reader for the blind, listener for the deaf and reacher for the short….
Reality is stranger than fiction…
“The subject is teetering on the brink of absolute nihilism; and if this mechanization with or without
purpose, this universal depletion of meaning, should come to fulfillment, then the future void may prove
equal to all the death anxieties of late antiquity and all the medieval anxieties about hell.”
Ernst Bloch
“The Anxiety of the Engineer”
Charles Bukowski
Speed-reading the book of Joshua in the Bible while on cocaine is funny…
“And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman,
young and old, ox and sheep and ass, with the edge of the sword.”
Joshua 6:21
This god, Jehovah, seems kind of mean……after all, this was “his people.”
to quote Blake on his system for getting in a crowded red velvet-rope bar:
He calls is it “Threading the Needle”
talk your way in the front door saying that you`re just looking for someone inside
and that you`ll be right back.  Go to the guys at the back door.  Say that your
buddy is parking and wants to meet you out front.  Ask to be let in the back door
so you don`t have to wait in line again.  Then go out the front again.  Thank the
bouncer.  Go around and get let in the back door.
The man who has nothing
has nothing to lose.
No need to be a collector if you have no space.
Some people are SO goddamned stupid that it makes my fucking head spin.
I overheard a RETARDED conversation on the bus, so bad that I felt like I
might have to throw up.  I weep for the future.
The problem is that I think about everything too much.  It is depressing.
I need help.  I need to be dumber…..
huh……huh, huh, huh, huh……huh….huh, huh, huh…….
I just remembered that I forgot something.
All this mosquito “west Nile virus” crap sure has done a lot to get rid of the crowds at Franklin Canyon Lake….
Solo Mission to the Sunset “House of Blues” to see Burning Spear….
I ended up standing so close to the front and the speakers, that I could FEEL
the wind from the bass.  The horn section consisting of 3 Jamaican dudes playing
trombone, saxophone and trumpet, were SO FUCKING HIGH, they were always
smiling.  Best reggae show ever….Winston Rodney is a bad ass…..I`ve never
been at a concert on Sunset with so much pot smoke floating around either….
I don`t know how they got away with it.  It was great, it was like security just
didn`t care at all, which is fine with me.  Contact high was impossible NOT to get….
After concert, end-of-summer crickets…..
Downtown LA anecdote #716
Grand and Hope Pl. on Bunker Hill….
This weird fucking dude in a yellow construction helmet, says to me, OUT OF THE BLUE…
“Did you ever work overtime in a soap factory?”
My lightning quick response before I walked away without another word was, “No, but I worked 80 hours a week in a tuna fish factory.”
Survival of the fittest applies to human and animals…..
The cruelest disappointment is when you let yourself down.
Even the mundane is to be cherished.
The most profound things are
really quite inexpressible.
There is nothing except what you sense.
Sitting in the Downtown Standard Hotel lobby on purple chairs, writing, watching
the beautiful ladies with their rich sugar daddies twice or even thrice their age,
and listening to French rap and Middle-Eastern music–always the bizarre and
eclectic music at the Standard…
Funniest quote ever from Blake:  (I just remembered this from last time)
“Skid Row is like a block party ALL THE TIME.”
Blake St. John
King Edwards Saloon at 5th and Los Angeles St……..
8/22/04, 3pm
I am alone this time.  If you could see the mental photographs imprinted upon my brain today,
you would get a tear in your eye.  Seeing the hidden masterpieces that exist in everyday life
is the greatest thing in the world.  Out the front door, the city roars, a beast, relentless and
sprawling, devouring everything in and around it, and here I am, in the belly of the beast,
right in the heart of it….
(This is my description….deal with it.)
“Seething city, saturated with dreams;
mysteries everywhere run like sap.”
Charles Baudelaire
“God is dead.”
“Nietzsche is dead.”
“Lose me, and find yourselves…
Only when you deny me will I return to you.”
Sure, I`ve made mistakes in the past,
but that`s why pencils have erasers…
“Classically, like other regulatory agencies, it was captured by the very interests it was supposed to regulate.”
Mike Davis
“Dead Cities”
about LA as a microcosm of our corporate U.S. Government–
Thi$ is how thing$ work nowaday$…
“Even in Los Angeles, speculators cannot go on endlessly building space for other speculators.”
Mike Davis
Despite the mundane tasks
of daily existence,
come to me like birds
with the arrival of spring.
blossom like flowers
crawl like vines
flow like a river
and explode like morning sunlight.
The world is filled
with insatiable greed
juggernauts of destruction
ignorance and folly
and, most of all,
a serious deficiency
of brotherly love…
Everything returns to the winds
Gaia grows angry
with our lack of respect
for her myriad gifts.
The winds will spiral
the waters will rise
and wash it all clean…
The dead will speak
to the living and
a new dawn will
rise above it all…
“Twilight of the Idols
or How to Philosophize with a Hammer”
(If you know the right people…)
The twilight of reason is upon us…
Spidey sense….I have it…..felt the presence of a rent-a-cop on the Canals of Venice
and I pounded my beer, finished smoking my bowl and took off on my skateboard
exactly at the moment he rounded a corner….
I gave my book, “Dead Cities” to a homeless black guy named Sylvester, whom I`ve spoken
with before, because he expressed fascination in it.  And I keep seeing my Manson clone,
Rodney, shuffling around in the Hawaiian shirt that I gave him.  I love recycling DIRECTLY…
put everything to good use….
“Everything is really water.”
“This `other world` is there, exists, as an immediate consequence of the existence of thought in the
human head: and as the race accumulates experience, this world of thinking becomes massively
enriched, especially by comparison with the almost static state of the world of perception, the outer,
physical world.  The earth consists once and for all of stones and plants and other animals, the sun
rises and sets every day, summer and winter come round every year; the sea ebbs and flows, eternally
the same.  Even men do not change much, the new generation is much like the old.  Nature, in short,
is the realm of the known, nature springs no surprises.  But the world of thought and imagination is
incredibly dynamic; it is continually expanding and changing and adding to itself new shapes and colors.
The living occupy the world of nature, but the world of thought is also inhabited by the dead, and especially
by the `mighty dead,` the founders and ancestors.  Indeed, in this world of thought, they are no longer
dead, they live on, they appear in dreams and waking dreams, they are immortal–and shall we too not
be immortal, in that OTHER world?  The supernatural appears, with its gods and devils, heavens and
hells.  In memory, the past continues to exist as well as the future is born in this OTHER world.  The
ties and limitations of the physical world disappear in that other world, we are free of them, we can do
ANYTHING.  The world of thought seems to become much more real than the physical world.”
R.J. Hollingdale
“The last time people listened to a Bush
they wandered in the desert for 40 years”
“A man who is unaware of his metaphysics
is like an ass bearing a load of books.”
“If the immediate and direct purpose of our life is not suffering then our existence is
most ill-adopted to its purpose in the world: for it is absurd to suppose that the endless
affliction of which the world is everywhere full, and which arises out of the need and
distress pertaining essentially to life, should be purposeless and purely accidental.
Each individual misfortune, to be sure, seems an exceptional occurrence; but misfortune
in general is the rule.”
“Not the least of the torments which plague our existence is the constant pressure of
TIME, which never lets us so much as draw a breath but pursues us all like a taskmaster
with a whip.  It ceases to persecute only him it has delivered over to boredom.”
“Work, worry, toil, and trouble are indeed the lot of almost all men their whole life long.
And yet if every desire were satisfied as soon as it arose, how would men occupy their
lives, how would they pass the time?  Imagine the human race transported to a Utopia
where everything grows of its own accord and turkeys fly around ready-roasted, where
lovers find one another without any delay and keep one another without difficulty:  in such
a place some men would die of boredom or hang themselves, some would fight and kill
one another, and thus they would create for themselves much more suffering than nature
inflicts on them as it is.  Thus for a race such as this, no stage, no form of existence is
suitable other than the one it already possesses.”
“The more clearly you become conscious of the frailty, vanity and dreamlike qualities of all
things, the more clearly you will also become conscious of the eternity of your own inner
being; because it is only in contrast to this that the aforesaid quality of these things becomes
evident, just as you perceive the speed at which a ship is going only when looking at the
motionless shore, not when looking into the ship itself.”
“Whenever we may live we always stand, with our consciousness, at the central point of time,
never at its termini, and we may deduce from that that each of us bears within him the unmoving
midpoint of the whole of endless time.  It is fundamentally this which gives us the confidence to
live without being in continual dread of death.”
“Too much reading robs the mind of all elasticity, as the continual pressure of a weight does a
spring, and the surest way of never having any thoughts of your own is to pick up a book every
time you have a free moment.  The practice of doing this is the reason erudition makes many
men duller and sillier than they are by nature and robs their writing of all effectiveness: they are,
in Alexander Pope`s words, `forever reading, never to be read.` “
“The poet presents the imagination with images from life and human characters and situations,
sets them all in motion and leaves it to the beholder to let these images take his thoughts as far
as his mental powers will permit.  This is why he is able to engage men of the most differing
capabilities, indeed fools and sages together.  The philosopher on the other hand, presents not
life itself but the finished thoughts which he has abstracted from it and then demands that the
reader should think precisely as, and precisely as far as, he himself thinks.  That is why his public
is so small.  The poet can thus be compared with one who presents flowers, the philosopher with
one who presents their essence.”
No rose without a thorn,
but many a thorn without a rose.”
Arthur Schopenhauer
Quote from Rodney, a homeless black dude from Austin, Texas…
“Ever since I seen that Japanese billionaire come down here and
actually stop to PICK UP PENNIES—I mean, FUCK CENTS, man!!
I just throw `em in the street….   (heard that before?  That`s right, ME!)
“I know that without me,
God cannot live for an instant;
If I perish, he must give up the ghost.”
Johannes Scheffler
We are all gods and devils
Religion often gives silly answers
to serious questions.
“This is the end,
beautiful friend,
this is the end,
my only friend, the end….
it hurts to set you free
but you`ll never follow me…”
Jim Morrison
It`s all a big guessing game,
but some of us guess better than others…
I am SO SICK of NOT winning the lottery!
“God`s only excuse is that he doesn`t exist.”
Henri Stendhal
“For we are but of yesterday, and KNOW NOTHING, because
our days upon earth are a shadow.”
Job 8:9
“…the vulgar ambition to have generous feelings…”
“In reality there has been only one Christian, and He died on the cross.”
“There are no more ancient idols in existence…also none more hollow.”
“Even the bravest of us rarely has the courage for what he really KNOWS.”
” `All truth is simple`–Is that not a compound lie?”
“What does not kill me makes me stronger.”
“Once and for all, there is a great deal I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW–
wisdom sets bounds even to knowledge.”
“Which is it?  Is man only God`s mistake or
is God only man`s mistake?”
“Are you genuine?  Or only an actor?  A representative?  Or that which is
represented?  Finally, you are no more than an imitation of an actor.”
“Do you want company?  Or go on ahead?  Or go off alone?
One must know WHAT one wants and THAT ONE WANTS.”
“The disappointed man speaks–I sought great human beings, but I never found
anything but the APES of their ideal.”
“This is an artist as an artist should be, modest in his requirements:
there are only two things he really wants, his bread and his art.”
“Posthumous men–like me, for instance, are not so well understood as
timely men, but we are LISTENED to better.  More precisely: WE ARE
“If one needs to make a tyrant of REASON, as Socrates did, then there must
exist no little danger of SOMETHING ELSE playing the tyrant.”
“Do not make the error of confusing cause and consequence.”
“Christianity is a hangman`s metaphysics.”
“My ambition is to say in ten sentences what everyone else says in a book–
what everyone else DOES NOT SAY in a book…”
“All that philosophers have handled for millennia has been conceptual mummies;
nothing actually has escaped from their hands alive.  They kill, they stuff, when
they worship, these conceptual idolaters–they become a mortal danger to everything.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
“Twilight of the Idols” and “The Antichrist”
me, riding the Blue Line Metro Train when a lady comes up and asks me if I want to buy some price-inflated
M&Ms to donate money to her CHURCH.  OF COURSE, I am reading “The Antichrist” by Nietzsche at that moment….HA!!
I am sitting at the nexus of Los Angeles, if it could be said that there is one.  Some might say a nexus of the world–
a little grass park just outside LAX.  It is as if you could reach up and grab the airplanes from the sky.  They are
that close, arriving from all over the world.  It is a triangular juncture between Sepulveda, Lincoln, and Westchester.
There is an In n Out Burger across the street.  I lie on the grass beneath the trees, a windy, sunny, beautiful day.
The birds are chirping all around me as the cars whiz by going everywhere and nowhere.  I watch the planes take
off and land.  I contemplate the cloudless blue sky.  It all means nothing and yet SO MUCH is contained in that nothingness….
 “Art is what remains of history.”
they are nothing more than bamboo creaking together,
saying something sublime with a song of the wind…
 “At this point I shall not suppress a sigh.  There are days when I am haunted by a feeling blacker than the blackest melancholy–
contempt of man.  And so as to leave no doubt as to WHAT I despise, WHOM I despise: it is the man of today, the man with whom
I am fatefully contemporary.  The man of today–I suffocate of his impure breath…With regard to the past I am, like all men of knowledge,
of a large tolerance, that is to say a magnanimous self-control: I traverse the madhouse-world of entire millennia, be it called `Christianity`,
`Christian Faith`, `Christian Church`, with a gloomy circumspection–I take care not to make mankind responsible for its insanities.  But my
feelings suddenly alter, burst forth, immediately I enter the modern age, ourage.  Our age knows…What was formerly merely morbid has
today become indecent–it is indecent to be a Christian today.”
“I won`t see you no more in this world,
I`ll meet you in the next one, don`t be late…”
Jimi Hendrix
New York City always thinks it`s so much “smarter” than LA.  I`ll bet you one million US Dollars that they`re doing the same goddamned shit
we are; sitting around bars and stupid little cafe hotspots, talking about themselves and wearing “smart-frame” eyeglasses….
(Later, after I got there…….I WAS RIGHT.)
“Nothing`s fun for me anymore….”
“Nobody cares, so it`s hard for me to…”
Dave Polston
“You air that serves me breath to speak!
You objects that call from diffusion my
meanings and give them shape,
You that wraps me and all things
in delicate showers,
You paths worn in irregular
hollows by the roadsides.
I believe you are latent with
unseen existences,
You are so dear to me…”
Walt Whitman
“Song of the Open Road”
“Without music, life would be an error…”
from a fortune cookie….
“You make people realize that there exist other beauties in the world.”
“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now, put the foundations under them.”
Henry David Thoreau
funny t-shirts:
pigtails and lipstick…..
change your fucking underwear and brush your teeth
`cause daddy`s coming home!
A guy just rolled up to me in Venice with a shopping cart
full of porn for sale……HA!!  That`s a new one…..
“I`ll say whatever I have to say to get through whatever I have to get through…”
Dave Polston (“Red Rock”)
Dave and I just spent some great quality time with two little Japanese tropical beach babes,
Nana and Lea.  We rode the ferris wheel in Santa Monica and they kept saying, “sugoi!”
which basically means great or excellent, I think.  I could fall in love with Nana for 30 minutes or so….
“Hitherto thou shalt come, but no further…”
Job 38:11
Reading Nietzsche`s The Antichrist and the Gospel of Matthew in the same day is just plain funny.
What can I say?  I like contrasts and strange juxtapositions.
a good title…
Each moment
a jewel
in the mosaic
of eternity
Quiet and obscure
perhaps meaningless
come down on me
like rain
like a fine mist
baptize me in your
endless flow
Take me gently
down the river
to a different land,
a strange world
where truths come alive,
dreams are born
and the wind
is a song unlike any other…
(See attached picture of me at 3 years old or so…..THIS is what I was thinking then and now….)
Always and forever….
the original beachcomber sandmonkey……
“And God said, `Behold, I have given every green herb, bearing seed for the use of man….`
and God saw all He had created and it was good…”
Genesis 1:29-30
“You think you can open Pandora`s Box and then just close it back up again?!?”
Film idea….
take Hollywood (the concept of it and the actual city) and stuff it into a medieval village setting….
parallels everywhere, connect the dots……DO IT……
I`m creating my story
as I live it….
(…to be continued…)
Oh, you think you`re better than me?!?
“The best way to prepare for a trip is to throw some bread and wine in an old sack
and jump over the back fence.”
John Muir
“A good traveler has no fixed plan, and is not intent on arriving.”
Lao Tzu
9/6/04  Labor Day
Dawn, Doheny Street…..empty, smooth asphalt….RUSH!!!!
Just bombed the hill at 6am on my Sector 9 skateboard….
“Now if a 6 turned out to be 9” takes on a WHOLE NEW MEANING….
heading to the south side harbor area and the Palos Verdes Peninsula
in a most-likely-to-be-successful attempt to escape the holiday crowds and riffraff….
San Pedro, sunny, beautiful, early morning emptiness…
me, walking through a field listening to Bob Marley`s “Kaya”…..”wake up and live…….turn me loose…….”
Sunken City beer at 9:40am.  There are 16 GIANT container ships anchored off the coast as Labor Day
causes most shipping terminals to be closed.  Next, I ride over the Peninsula, the most difficult part
of my journey…
“The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.”
St. Augustine
10:30am….beyond Point Fermin to the North….Palms, Bob Marley music,
ocean, and pure unadulterated happiness.  No matter where I am in this world
“You`re losing all the highs and lows
hard to tell the nighttime from the day
ain`t it funny how the feeling goes away?
Desperado, why don`t you come to your senses…?”
All day, I`m talking to Harley Davidson bikers riding up and down the California Coast,
and I`m doing it on a SKATEBOARD.  They were dumbfounded… and we all got REALLY HIGH….
7:07pm, Sunset at Venice Beach, mob rules……at Windward listening to Marley`s “Rebel Music.”
I have never seen so many fucking cops in my life….
So I took a dawn bus to San Pedro this morning and skateboarded all the way OVER the PV Peninsula,
no buses……So, I figure, why not make it one of the longest rides yet?  Why not another 8 to 10 miles
inland?  That makes 40 miles or so.  Happy Labor Day, changos………
10:30pm…home at last…I walked up Doheny, the same street I flew down at sunrise this morning,
around 16 hours ago……
“On any given day, Los Angeles is far more dangerous than anyplace I`ve traveled.”
A vagabond traveler in a book I read….
“Did you think you should enter the Garden of Bliss without such trials as came to those who passed before you?”
The Koran
“We see as we are.”
“I never took drugs
because I AM DRUGS.”
Salvador Dali
“It is not speech which we should want to know,
we should want to know the speaker.
It is not things seen which we should want to know,
we should know the seer.
It is not sounds which we should want to know,
we should know the hearer.
It is not the mind we should want to know,
we should KNOW THE THINKER.”
from the Kaushitaki Upanishad
“People say that what we are all seeking is a meaning for life.  I don`t think that is what we are really seeking.
I think that what we`re seeking is THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING ALIVE.”
Joseph Campbell
“The Power of Myth”
…on stolen money and tropical endings in Hollywood (movies…)—-
“The implication here is that a stack of stolen loot and a tropical hideaway provide the ideal ingredients for
personal happiness, and that nothing better could be asked from life than to sit around and drink rum cocktails
until death finally claims you.
As with many things cinematic, of course, this is an escapist cliche, and you don`t need to rob a bank to prove
it.  Indeed, just take a modest, non-heisted sum–five grand say–to a quiet, inexpensive beach in Guatemala,
Greece or Goa and see what happens.  In all likelihood, your enthusiasm for sitting around smeared in cocoa
butter will run out before your money does.”
Rolf Potts
“Scope eludes my grasp, there is no finality of vision , tomorrow–a new walk is a new walk….”
I exist.
Nothing more.
That is enough.
Matthew 7:6
“Bitches Brew” Dawn at Venice Beach 9/9/04
Indigo sky
Crescent moonset over the ocean
Sandpiper Road, Playa del Rey 7:45am
I just saw a fucking scorpion dragging its prey(a giant june bug) into the brush.
I`ve NEVER seen one here….
I remember when I used to come here in my burgundy Dodge Shadow convertible
and I would sit back, puff some herb, and watch the planes take off into the hazy,
smoggy sky….
8:53am….rainbow over the ocean…
9:20am   sitting under a lifeguard tower, waiting out a beautiful, late summer rain on a vast, empty beach,
smoking green bud, watching the planes fly into the distance…
As I sit in Playa del Rey at Titmouse Park, I notice the address across the street is 420…you know the rest….
Marina del Rey….dead drunk and stoned noon……nap in the empty parking lot………
My dirt alley in Venice, the Wind-up bird alley, shady lane, whatever the hell you want to call it…..beautiful……
I spent the entire day sleeping in random places along the coastline.  I woke up at midnight in Santa Monica.
“God” is DEFINITELY NOT what some of us may expect.
You see, my writing is like a superball in a rubber room…..YoU jusT neveR KNoW whErE I`ll go NExt………!!!!
“What`s the difference between George W. Bush and a bucket of SHIT?”
“The bucket.”
“Cure blindness with a whore`s spittle.”
Jim Morrison
you know NOTHING.
“Sometimes it`s easy to forget where you`re going,
sometimes it`s harder to leave….”
Guns n Roses
Barbara Walters interviewing George W. Bush:
“It`s been said that you stopped drinking alcohol cold turkey at the age of 40.  I won`t pursue why.  But did
you ever stop to think why you started drinking so much in the first place?”
George “Well, Barbara, that`s an interesting question….I don`t think I`ve ever been asked that….ummm,
probably because I liked the way it tasted.”
You have to admit, he`s kind of funny…..
This homeless guy from Czechoslovakia that looked like Kenny motherfuckin` Rogers came to our 9/12/04
sidewalk sale.  I was giving him some free stuff and he called me “Secondhand Jesus.”  HA!!
( I just now remembered that THIS is the origin of the saying and the shirt that I would make later….thank you drunk Czech bastard…..
I give credit where credit is due, even if it is delayed….)
For some reason, I just remembered how I found my dad`s gun when I was little.  Instead of shooting up my school or
accidentally shooting myself in the face like an idiot, I just carefully put it back.  You see?  Some kids are much smarter than others.
The Artist travels the world, everywhere, danger be damned.  He eventually goes out in some remote outpost
in a blaze of glory.  His work becomes immortal.  Yes.  When my number is up, let me die with all my pretty illusions….
At the garage sale yesterday, I found my parents` old legal divorce documents from Hill Street downtown.
Boy, did THAT bring back some good memories….!  Only in LA, baby.  Now I am in Venice, again, and my
worries melt away in the misty sunlight.
secondhand JESUS
“bless my eyes this morning
Jah sun is on the rise again
the way good things are going
Bob Marley
“So Much Trouble in the World”
“You can have it all,
My empire of dirt,
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt.”
Trent Reznor
(the Johnny Cash version is the best….)
I just met a homeless guy who calls himself “Timi Hendrix” at Titmouse Park.
If you could see him, you would know that he lives up to his name.
He said to me, “You don`t like 4 walls much, do you?”
I replied, “I only like them in the rain, and sometimes, not even then.”
I love the smell of eucalyptus trees….
Skateboarding along Ballona Creek through Culver City and Palms at dusk.
Bonfires, Carne Asada, mosquitoes, purple sky… smells like Mexico….
The way things are going with that maniac roommate, Chris, I may soon be sleeping out under the stars.
I have crossed my Rubicon.  There is no going back.
My time has come to leave LA, to move away, I`m not sure where.  I just know.  Time to go.
My work is done here, FOR NOW….
I am constantly amazed at my persistent ability to shock even myself.
It`s not that SOME other people can’t do it the way I do……
it`s just that they DON`T…..
Got a phone call from NYC……
JB has been in New York City for quite a while now.  He is managing a restaurant.  He offered me a job and
a place to live on the Lower East Side at the edge of Chinatown.  I am seriously considering it.  Why not?
What am I doing now that is worthwhile?  Nothing!  These may be my last days in LA for a long while.
Yes, I am ALWAYS one to keep you guessing….(and myself guessing….)
What`s next?
One of the best books I`ve ever read is the one that I`m living every day….
16th Street in Hermosa Beach….
A lone man sits meditatively on the sea wall in a white bunny suit.
Silly wabbit.
Indeed, never forget….life can be snatched from you in the blink of an eye, so live well…
This could be my last EPIC skateboard run in LA for a long while or even forever….
I will make it totally random…..
Killer run down Western all the way to Paseo del Mar, no cars!
Go with the flow….
Sunken City 4:20pm smoke…..I`m going BACKWARDS today…….
You`re not gonna BELIEVE this!!  I was on Pacific between San Pedro and Wilmington when I ate it
on my skateboard and my beautiful Sector 9 was run over and crushed by an 18-wheeler truck…
Perfect.  Now I have to buy a new one for NYC.  oh well, EASY COME, EASY GO…..
A lone payphone ringing at Fisherman`s Wharf, San Pedro.  I pick it up….the robot lady voice says,
“Congratulations, you have won a trip for two to San Francisco….”  HA!  Laughing hysterically,
I slam the phone down.
Ports O`Call at dusk….giant container ship and a fireboat with water spraying in the air all around and a purple sky….
Silver thumbnail slice of a crescent moon….setting in a lavender sky….magic……
Red dress, beautiful Spanish girl flamenco dancing on 6th Street in San Pedro.  I`m walking now because my skateboard
Every picture I`ve ever painted, every photo I`ve ever taken, everything I`ve written……it is all retained and kept forever
in the darkest hidden corners of my multi-faceted mind to be recalled at will…..
“I know the pieces fit
`cause I watched them fall away….”
Edgar Allan Poe





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