By Tom H. Brooks 3
I`LL BUY YOU A 40oz IF YOU GO TO THE STORE AND NEVER COME BACK……………………………………………………….
VOTE FOR $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ FOR PRESIDENT!! (slogan)—AND THEN YOU`LL GET WHAT`S COMING TO YA!!
SO DOES POLITICS
Me, playing piano in an empty convention room lobby at the Bonaventure Hotel in Downtown LA…yes, this is the kind of thing that I get away with…
Goats?!? Downtown? Don`t ask me, I`m just reporting what I saw at 4th and Hill St…..
“SELL CRAZY SOMEWHERE ELSE. WE`RE ALL STOCKED UP HERE.”
“Chuck Norris eats metal for breakfast
and shits a tool shed at lunch.”
“Chuck Norris has every single copy of National Geographic in his basement.
He also has the ability to lift every single one of them at once.”
“In 1945, Hitler was kicked to death by a five-year-old Chuck Norris.”
“Chuck Norris could eat crayons, pencils and markers and shit out the Mona Lisa“
“Chuck Norris doesn`t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.”
“Chuck Norris doesn`t sleep; he waits.”
“Chuck Norris doesn`t go hunting; he goes killing.”
“Don`t dwell on what you spent,
but WHAT IT MEANT.”
“Peace, Baby, It`s Hard to Sell”
“Everything you own must be able to fit inside one suitcase; then your mind might be free.”
“I hurled myself toward my personal god: SIMPLICITY. Genius could be the ability to say
a profound thing in a simple way. Words were bullets, words were sunbeams, words cracked
through doom and damnation.”
YOUR FACE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IN THE GLOW OF THE COMPUTER SCREEN
TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING IS NEVER ENOUGH
9/23/08 5:20am 2nd day of fall….
Dave and I, waiting for a bus to Malibu…
Downhill skate from Topanga Canyon park through Temescal Canyon and all the way to Venice Beach…
WHAT A RUSH!!
9:00am “Let`s go, I`m ready for my 2nd beer.”
RIGHT IN THE HEART OF IT,
YET NOWHERE NEAR THE CENTER
Words in motion….
wouldn`t it be the ultimate irony if you were to fall
while writing and skating and stabbed yourself with the pen?
NORRIS IN 2012
When Chuck Norris runs for president,
He doesn`t run, He walks…
“Whatever side you`re on, Chuck Norris will STILL kick your ass.”
“The last person Chuck Norris killed called him Charlie.”
“Chuck Norris is so famous, that Chuck Taylor called
and asked if they could run a new shoe line called `Chuck Ns`
I`m not saying that money has lost its value, but yesterday I dropped
5 dollars and got FINED FOR LITTERING…
FUCK THAT, JACK!!
“If Jonny wasn`t there, I`D be designated asshole.”
If I`m not being a dick, somebody else will be….
“It`s not how much you MAKE, it`s HOW MUCH YOU GET HOME WITH…”
Las Vegas service industry saying
“I don`t got much to do these days…”
Jonny-boy (drunk alone on the roof at 2am with a bottle of Cuervo…)
“Themes are hungry ghosts.”
Marmalade Cafe: Where dreams go to die…
“Chuck Norris doesn`t beg to differ; you beg, he differs.”
“Whomever saves but one life saves the world entire.”
from the Jewish Talmud
“What is it, Ylamrod?”
Latino Guys looking for work outside U-Haul….CLASSICS….(this is real….)
“I am Jose, the strongest…”
“I am Ernesto, the fastest…”
“I am Aurelio, the smartest…”
9/30/08 HOT WIND…..INDIAN SUMMER……
My boy, Kojak (Dave Polston), is off to Bakersfield to raise his kids. The best of luck, brother. Life is, indeed, beautiful.
I wanted to say that after you left, there was a classic cast of characters outside the 7-11 for my beer toast to you….
2 blonde strippers in SHORT hot pants, a ghetto-ass gay boy black dude with a headband and a radio playing the Pointer
Sisters, “I`m So Excited,” some of the local Mexicans, a few of the local bums and tweakers, and a new bum with half
a face panhandling nearby. They all knew who you were when I gave my toast and we raised our beers, bottles and flasks
in your honor. It`s hot as hell…maybe 99 degrees. I`ll bet it`s hotter where you`re going! The list goes on, but I`ll save it
for another day and another story. Blessings to you, my friend, and to all of us, in the coming days of wonder and intrigue
and CHANGE…..where do we go from here?
How did it all come to this?
Did we ask for this?
these endless wars
religion, resources, revenge
this unstoppable machine of
commerce and consumption
this political forum of idiots
all the world`s a stage
Did we ask for this?
walls dripping with
blood and sweat?
tears falling down like rain
the endless shitstorm of days
oozing through dirty streets of madness
into the gutters of our souls…
Did we ask for this?
through dark nights
of smothering blackness
down streets of
of lives barely lived
kill ourselves slowly
working for the almighty dollar
so we can consume
to buy things we do not need
and let everything useful
rot in a junkpile
at the end of the longest road
To continue this way
is to deny ourselves
the best of all these things….
“Hey man, this vote is RIGGED….”
killing our time slowly,
oh, so slowly,
choking to death
to sad to contemplate,
to look forward to
but the next crappy paycheck
already half gone
on unpaid bills
waiting in lines
driving in traffic
mired in inane conversations
stupid media distractions
dreams of bright lights
$ $ $
reflected in the eyes
of every robot clone
walking down that
road paved of
do your job
MAKE US MONEY $$$$$$$
OUR ONE TRUE GOD
bow down and worship
under God (which one?)
with liberty (?)
and justice for all (?) “
TELL US WHAT TO THINK
“Standing here like a loaded gun
waiting to go off
I`ve got nothing to do but
shoot my mouth off
Gimme, gimme, gimme,
GIMME SOME MORE!!”
I`m sick of all of ya…..
I`m going back to bed….
“How many police officers does it take to arrest a Mexican?
3….one to cuff him, and two to carry the oranges.”
“A sexy chick is walking two little bitch dogs. Of course, some guy says,
`Hey, they`re SO cute–what`re their names?`
She says, `Rolex and Timex.`
He says, `I gotta be honest, those are kinda stupid, weird names.`
She replies, `Duh……they`re WATCHDOGS!` “
“THAT SQUIRREL CAN WATERSKI…..!! HA HA HA!!”
Will Ferrell as “Ron Burgundy” in “Anchorman”
In baseball, Chuck Norris doesn`t HIT the ball; he LOOKS at it
and it just flies right outta the park.
“GO BACK TO FLAGSTAFF, YOU PUSSY!”
yeah, yeah, follow the magical unicorn
all the way to Candyland and beyond
to Rainbow Junction and make a left
at the Lollipop Forest and go over the
Gumdrop Mountains into the Sugar Valley…..
WHAT`S UP, HAMBONE?
I like to think of myself as one of the Enlightened Ones…..
neither Christian, nor Jew, not Muslim, Hindu, or Buddhist;
simply a man of spiritual wisdom that transcends the norms…..
OH, I HAVE BELIEFS, SURE…..BUT, THEY ARE NOT BASED
ON THE GODS THAT MAN HAS INVENTED …
(people just like to imagine they have a pretty place to go to when they die….)
“FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS”
I just yelled YLEM! and there was no one to respond….
skateboarding down the Hollywood Dell, I saw a coyote and he ran off….
“I was making hits when you were just a gleam in some drunken Mick`s
bloodshot eye. You`re lucky you`re not making bombs in Belfast, Mr. Clean!”
Phil Hartman doing Frank Sinatra on Saturday Night Live (he was yelling at Sinead O`Connor)
“I GOT CHUNKS OF GUYS LIKE YOU IN MY STOOL!”
Now he`s yelling at Bono
“An aimless joy is a pure joy.”
(yes, I like traveling without an itinerary as well…)
“Blue, blue windows
behind the stars,
on the rise,
big birds flying
across the sky,
on our eyes….”
10/24/08 Chiharu and Tom Adventure Day
Tijuana River Valley right by the border
Imperial Beach has some surf today!
Breakfast at Wave Cafe in Imperial Beach
Next time we come down here, we`re gonna stay at Seacoast Inn, right on the beach
Went to the Marriot on San Diego Bay for poolside cocktails (as you know, pool-crashing is my specialty…)
Point Loma and Sunset Cliffs in Ocean Beach
Presidio Park for snooze at 2pm
Taco Surf in Pacific Beach is the best Mexican Restaurant on the planet!!
“Any society that will give up basic liberties
to gain a little security
will deserve neither and lose both.”
“Politics is like trying to screw a cat in the ass.”
And this short volume is finished…..