By Tom H. Brooks 3
I THOUGHT I HAD A THOUGHT, BUT THEN I REALIZED I HAD NOTHING MORE THAN THIS CRAZY LITTLE BOOK…………………
“Sometimes we don`t need words. Rather, it`s words that need us.”
I`m just hiding behind the white picket fence in my mind…
“When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn`t lifting himself up;
he`s pushing the earth down.”
“The quickest way to a man`s heart is Chuck Norris` fist.”
“It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where
the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose
face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly…who spends himself in a worthy
cause, who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails,
at least fails while daring greatly.”
I`m quittin` cigarettes and booze forever…..
HA! that`s a good one…
For some reason, when I watch TV, especially the news,
I like to yell at the screen….
“…what are you doing with a gun in space?!?”
you can take that pizza straight to hell, scumbag…
“This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election.”
I walked in and turned on the TV at the exact moment of the results….
11/4/08 8pm western time
Barack Obama has become the first black President of the United States
(I`m sure everything will get MUCH BETTER now…)
8:17pm outside in Hollywood….first street quote overheard (there was quite an uproar)
“YES! YES!! Barack Obama is President of the motherfuckin` United States!! Chicken
and watermelon for everyone!!”
maybe they let him win to make us think our vote makes a difference.
I couldn`t care less one way or the other…
McCain`s concession speech was RACIST!!
whatever….it just sounds funny to say that…
I feel like I`m living in an alternate universe, a different world, if you will….
“HOPE, CHANGE,” hibbity skibbity doo……….
Well, that`s the last we`ll ever hear of that Sarah Palin bitch….
“…flesh of the dissidents…”
“If you kill my demons, then you
might just kill my angels too….”
Tim Hudock “I`m an agnostic.”
Old Man “You`re not smart enough to be an agnostic, boy…”
“Too Fat to Fish
Proof That Some People
Never Learn From Their Mistakes”
“I have a theory that no house should be taller than a palm tree.”
“There is pleasure in
these pathless woods;
There is rapture
on the lonely shore;
There is society
where none intrudes,
by the deep sea
and music in its roar;
I love not man the less,
but nature more…”
“I hope you go out smiling
like a child in the cool
remnant of a dream.”
“Each soul is potentially divine. The goal is to manifest this divinity within by
controlling nature, external and internal. Do this by work, or worship, or psychic
control, or philosophy–by one or more or all of them. This is the whole of religion.
Doctrines or dogmas or rituals or books or temples are but secondary details.”
Walking along Imperial Beach at twilight, looking across the rivermouth at Tijuana Bullring….surreal…..
I was remembering how I saw Carlos Santana play there one night many years ago….
Chiharu and I staying at the Seacoast Inn, Room 110 right on the beach….beautiful….
It was foggy at 6:30am….I went inside for a few and when I came out 15 minutes later, the sun was shining with dazzling brilliance…
Imperial Beach….”SoCal the way it used to be…”
No cellphone service here…..a beautiful thing….
Seacoast Inn has only 4 months to live in its current form…they will be doing some kind of renovations…this could be our only stay here ever….
A high noon fog rolls in from the sea….Chiharu and I had an otherworldly experience walking through the ethereal mist of the borderlands
to the Tijuana rivermouth…along Imperial Beach to the south….like a walk through the borderland between life and death….
At the end of the walk, by the river, we came out of the fog into bright and heavenly sunshine…..AMAZING…..
Imperial Beach ARCO gas station…..$1.99 a gallon!! Can you believe it?!? Filled the tank for $13.00!!
Golf driving range at Coronado golf course…….200 yards, baby!!
Misty tendrils of fog drift across the highway and the graves as we walk through the Point Loma graveyard….pleasantly spooky….
(I have pictures!!)
5:46pm…….An EMPTY visit to Taco Surf!! Unheard of….but great; I could eat like a pig with no disturbances…..
took a half gallon of salsa …….TO GO………….back to LA……..
About what life on earth is…….
“A falling star, a bubble in a stream,
a flame in the wind,
frost in the sun.
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
a phantom in a dream.”
The Diamond Sutra
“I don`t mind being called a liar when I am lying,
or when I`m about to lie, or when I just finished
telling a lie…but NOT WHEN I`M TELLING THE TRUTH!!”
Hey….great….now that Thanksgiving is out of the way, we can start celebrating Christmas!!! yaayyyy ha aha ahhhaaaaaahahaha!!!
“I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself
than to be crowded on a velvet cushion.”
Henry David Thoreau
“There must be some kind of way outta here
said the joker to the thief
there`s too much confusion
I can`t get no relief
Businessmen they drink my wine
plowmen they take my herb…”
“All Along the Watchtower”
“A different kind of dream”
“Pain is inevitable;
suffering is optional.”
expect the unexpected
Chasing windmills like Don Quixote
“What`s the difference between marmalade and jam?
you can`t marmalade your cock up a chick`s ass….”
Tim/ NYC (or maybe you could, Tim….maybe you could….)
“three black males…”
The perfect McDonald`s robbery…………”gimme the money in the register….and 3 orders of 20 piece nuggets….
and make it quick, motherfucker!!”
Rise to the occasion….
“Wu-style is immensely strong
and immune to nearly any weapon,
and when used properly,
it is almost invincible…”
“The only reason Chuck Norris is still breathing,
is because Clint Eastwood allows it.”
“Quitting while you`re ahead is NOT the same as quitting.”
Our new BEACH address……!!!!
4033 Via Marina Apt. G-322
Marina del Rey, CA 90292
“I`ll get my crowbar and turn this place into a Mongolian Clusterfuck!!”
“A 71 is a 69 with 2 fingers up your ass…”
Circus of the Dead
I just told you three fucking times….
if you don`t get it by now,
there`s just no hope for ya….
“The desert was the apotheosis of all deserts, huge, standing to the sky for what might have been parsecs
in all directions. White; blinding; waterless; without feature save for the faint, cloudy haze of the mountains
which sketched themselves on the horizon and the devil-grass which brought sweet dreams, nightmares,
death. An occasional tombstone sign pointed the way, for once the drifted track that cut its way through the
thick crust of alkali had been a highway and coaches had followed it. The world had moved on since then.
The world had emptied.”
“The Gunslinger” (Book 1 from “The Dark Tower” series…)
goodbye for now, Runyon Canyon…
12/14/08 4:30 to 5pm….
last sunset on the famous Yucca Estates rooftop
and my last Dos Burritos meal and my last EPIC
skateboard run down Ivar……C–YA!!!
END OF AN ERA…..
“Yeah, strap on the feedbag, you tragic behemoth…”
“King of the Hill”
“Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting
infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.”
“If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can`t
see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.”
“When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks
his closet for Chuck Norris.”
“Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That is why there
are no signs of life there.”
“Chuck Norris sold his soul to the Devil for his rugged good
looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the
transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the Devil
in the face and took his soul back. The Devil, who appreciates
irony, couldn`t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it
coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.”
The move to the beach is done in only a day!!
Goodbye Hollywood and HELLO Marina del Rey!!
Everything is coming our way…
“Meet me on the bank of the beautiful river…
Our journey has ended…”
“Death was as quiet as the ocean bottom
and as sweet as a rose in May.”
Chiharu, my little potato chip (she really loves `em…)
The first day of winter, but you`d never know it being that we`re AT THE BEACH…
Living at the Oakwood is SO GREAT…with the pool and the ON-site convenience
store with BEER and the basketball courts and tennis courts and jacuzzi and
gym…..WE GOT IT ALL……it`s like we`re living at a luxury hotel…..
“What did you see my blue-eyed son?
I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it
I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it
I heard the song of the poet who died in the gutter
I heard the sound of the clown who cried in the alley…
A Hard Rain`s Gonna Fall….”
12/25/08 Happy Festivus !! Cazadores Reposado Tequila….
“TASTES LIKE CHICKEN;
SMELLS LIKE FISH.”
New Year`s Resolution 2009
last cigarette 12/31/08 2:19pm
seriously this time….
COLD TURKEY, BITCH….
Well, that lasted for 29 hours….
“A Mexican, a Chinaman, and a Black walk into a bar….
the bartender looks at `em and says, `Get the fuck out…` “
Dogtown at the east end of California Street and Elkland Place is an Abandoned Suburb…
don`t ask me the history of it or why, I don`t know and no one else seems to know either….
“Whenever it`s early twilight
I watch till a star breaks through
funny, it`s not a star I see,
It`s Always You….”
North Venice Blvd at Shell Ave.
Amoroso Pl. …..nothing less than enchanting….
right down the street is Crescent Pl with the coolest treehouse ever….
Probably sitting there with a stupid look on their face, I`ll wager…`cause THEY`RE STUPID…..
“From now on I would make and eat the food that I wanted to eat.
The damned Sharpie Crows could peck each other to death for all I cared.”
BIGGEST moonrise of the year 1/10/09 (the day after our second wedding anniversary)
We watched it from the Oakwood rooftop and smoked one together…
It`s so distant from me now that it seems like a half-remembered dream…
tiny bubbles in a jacuzzi….what a short life they have….
The darkest star
the most remote planet
the lost galaxy
beyond the blackest
corner of the cosmos
beyond the black hole
to the left of the supernova
behind the celestial Wal Mart….
meet ya there….
get famous for
taking OUR tax dollars…
Where does it all go?
How is it FIXING the situation?
Give me an agenda…
1/15/09 George W. Bush farewell address……
WOW….he had a good writer for this one….nice job, Georgie…..I will miss your comic shenanigans….
You`re much funnier than Obama….
shall we consider
the end of our lives
or shall we consider
it a blessing
a new beginning?
I`ll die when I`m supposed to…
A raven in the Wind-Up Bird Alley
Inspired me to write a parable
called A CONCLAVE OF CROWS
Please, JUST GO BACK TO WHATEVER
DARK CORNER OF HELL YOU CAME FROM…
1/18/09 5:45pm rooftop at the Oakwood
The clouds just formed into shapes like GIANT cranes
flying west over a twilight horizon chasing the sun…..
I write because I HAVE TO WRITE,
even when I am saying nothing at all…
in a crystallized moment
in a prison
of my own creation
in an uncaring universe
with no true answers…
I have taken Chiharu to the UCLA Medical Center Emergency Room…
It is so sad, so depressing, people stabbed, shot, crying in pain while
still WAITING to be helped….honestly, healthcare in this country is a
I`d rather die ANYWHERE than at a place like THIS…the waiting room to HELL….
5 or 6 hours in one of these hellholes can really bring you face to face
with your own mortality, with where you want to be when your time comes…
They`re keeping her in the hospital…I am worried sick and there is nothing
I can do…..fucking MS!! I love you so much, baby…..
I don`t want to spend my life hopelessly grasping at things I`ve lost…
She gonna be just fine……3am as I stand on the balcony outside our apartment at the Oakwood
and No Surprises
Only 3 days in the hospital and the bill is over $5000. How am I gonna pay that?!?
(It turns out that when I brought a pay stub from Marmalade Cafe to a nice black
lady [Tamara Douglas] in the Human Resources Department at the hospital,
she looked at it, shook her head and said, “I`m gonna make this bill disappear, baby.”
Bless you, Tamara Douglas. I can never forget this random act of kindness…)
“Lord, what fools these mortals be.”
“A Midsummer Night`s Dream”
I love my balcony because all the birds fly by here…
ravens, seagulls, cranes, egrets, ducks, sparrows, mockingbirds, finches, mudhens, etc…..
“The jury finds you guilty of being a redneck, white-bred, chickenshit, motherfucka!”
“Fuck the Police” from the album “Straight Outta Compton”
Hope is what we cling to
when reality has left us nothing else…
“To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.
To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society`s ills on the
West, know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those
who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on
the wrong side of history, but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.”
(I`ll give him this much; he gives a hell of a good speech….but I still think George Bush was WAY funnier…)
While Chiharu has been sick, we have been sleeping in shifts…I watch over her and then she watches over me….
(they got her on all these STRONG medicines, Solumedrol steroid IV drip, Heparin blood thinner, Interferons, sleeping pills…
it is utterly fucking ridiculous….)
OUTSOURCING…..Bangalore, India……….sometimes I want to `outsource` my life….
“Having ONE pancake leaves room for more bacon…”
It`s a shaved monkey I won in a poker game….!!!
from “Life in Hell” by Matt Groening….this one is called “Life is Swell”
” `Do you want illumination?
Then practice daily meditation.
Refrain from senseless stimulation.
Avoid a life of desperation.
Stop your mental flagellation.
Halt your wicked hip gyration.
And pray for cosmic liberation.`
`Thank you, Swami! That was brilliant!`
`I like to rhyme when I`m drunk.! “
Super Bowl 43 BEST EVER!!
“…almost the biggest comeback in Super Bowl history….”
a lot of penalties in this game…what is this….hockey?!?
“One thing YOU KNOW, when you get out front, you NEVER wanna look back.”
Games don`t get any better than this!
and what about that spectacular halftime show from Bruce Springsteen?!
“10th Ave Freezeout”
“Born to Run”
“To build a world of rocks and chaos. What it`s gonna be, I don`t know. Even after
all that rushing around, where we`ve ended up it the middle of nowhere in the middle
of the night. And maybe knowing isn`t the point. Where we`re standing right now, in
the ruins in the dark, what we build could be ANYTHING.”
“That`s the way it is…one day, your wife is cooking your favorite meal; the next day
you`re thawing your hot dogs in a gas station sink.”
“The kite hawk
grips me in his azure talons.
And, at the apex of the sun,
lets me fall on the sand
as food for the ravens.
I shall no longer bear mud
on my shoulders.
The fire will find me clean.
The cackling beaks,
the stinking jaws of jackals.
Then, as he searches with his stick
through the sand, the bedouin
will point out
a white, white bone…”
One of the biggest mistakes of my life
is that I didn`t continue with sports
when I am so athletic. I was good at
everything. I could have played professional
ANYTHING and been a millionaire by now…
(Coming back to this entry now, I also realize
that I learn really fast on the guitar when I
actually practice, and therefore, if I would
have kept playing when my Mom gave me
my first guitar at 16, I could have perhaps
been a rockstar by now……eh, would`ve,
could`ve, should`ve…….that`s the way it is…
next thing you know, I`ll be `thawing my hot
dogs in a gas station sink….`)
Interviewer “Is it true that you`re going out with Courtney Love?”
Mickey Rourke “I`d rather be on a deserted island with a gorilla.”
“So much trouble in the world….
bless my eyes this morning,
Jah sun…is on the rise once again…”
“I know Jah
never let us down…”
2/15/09 OFFICIAL `medical` herbal Medicine…….hyaaaaaahhhhh!!!
My cup runneth over….
“And we shall partake
in the sacred herb
and learn to love all…”
The Gospel of the Reverend T
Venice Drum Circle
the drums…..the drums
everything is funny
nothing really matters
THE SECRET THOUGHTS
(a law of attraction…..really?)
The mind shapes the universe we see…
the mind is shaping the very things that it perceives…
positive beats negative….
“You create your own universe
as you go along.”
COOL AS A CUCUMBER
Oakwood…..I feel like I`m retired….now where the hell are those shuffleboard courts….?
MAKING SURE WE WASTE OUR LAST DAYS
USING INFERIOR PRODUCTS.”
“It`s very dangerous to be too close to the ground, eh?…”
(famous high-wire walker)
(World Trade Center, NYC 1974)
THE ALLEY in Venice, you know the one, how many goddamned times have I mentioned it, after all?
I just saw a squirrel running along the fence with a WHOLE LIME in his mouth. Does he have Coronas
stashed somewhere? Unusual, to say the least….
“Is she smarter than me?!? I don`t want anybody smarter than me!”
George Costanza “Seinfeld”
great Venice t-shirt:
with a picture of Gollum from Lord of the Rings
I love riding down the Oakwood hallways full speed on my skateboard or bike….
when I get out of the jacuzzi, I feel like a sluggish amphibian
emerging for the first time from the primordial ooze…
HDTV AND BLURAY
SAME CRAPPY CONTENT
“I`m just a big, hairy, American winning machine.”
Ricky Bobby “Talladega Nights”
“I like Christmas Baby Jesus best! When you say grace, you can pray to grownup Jesus,
teenage Jesus, bearded Jesus….whatever! Dear Baby Jesus, in your crib and manger,
with your little red face and your tiny, balled-up fists…”
“I like to think of Jesus with giant eagle wings and an angel band singing
lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd and I`m in the front row…..hammered….”
“I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt, `cause it says, like, `I`m formal, but I like to party.` “
“I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.”
“I like to picture Jesus as a mischievous badger…”
“I like to think of Him as a muscular trapeze artist.”
“I like to think of Jesus as a shapeshifter or a changeling, like that guy….you ever hear
of that show, `Manimal?` “
“I like to picture Him as a figure skater…he`s dressed all in white doing an interpretive ice dance
of my life.”
“I like to picture Jesus as a dirty old bum; He comes up to me and I`m about to sock him one
`cause he`s a dirty bum. And I say to myself, `I better not hit him, there`s something special
about him.` And it turns out….it`s JESUS!”
“Sometimes, late at night, I dress up like Donna Summer…..`Last Dance…..Last Chance….for love…..` “
A bare winter tree filled with ravens…..
They come out of Iraq,
they go back into Afghanistan
They say they`re closing Guantanamo Bay
letting those psychos out on the loose again….
I really don`t know if things are getting better or worse…..
Ahhhhh, fuck it, they`re ALWAYS getting worse….I don`t give a shit….
I`m just riding my beach cruiser along the wet sand by the ocean at low tide through a thick fog and nothing matters….
When you get to be my age, you just kinda start to lose hope….
I mean, really……what`s the point?
“The best laid plans of mice and men…”
“You`re not drunk if you can lay on the floor without hanging on…”
“Hey, I take a vitamin everyday…it`s called a STEAK!”
“If you don`t like America, then you can GIT OUT!!”
South Park (rednecks)
I don`t know what made me think of this, but I`ll never forget that 17-mile roundtrip walk
along the endless beach in Mexico from Cuyatlan to El Paraiso. I strolled, totally alone,
beneath a burning tropical sun with thousands of bees on the wet sand and lush coconut
palms lining the shore….
“The unexamined life is not worth living…”
Marge “This is the WORST thing you`ve EVER done!”
Homer “You say that SO much it`s lost all meaning.”
the greatest thing I`ve ever done is get my marijuana subscription (excuse me, I meant PRESCRIPTION…)
I`m always hoping for NO MAIL, because it`s ALWAYS BILLS….
(where`s MY “stimulus check” OBAMA?!?)
” `How`s life?`
`It`s taking forever…` “
“Hey mister, got a dollar?”
Homer “No, but I`ll give you NOTHING for free if you go away right now…”
I guess if “love” is a mental problem, then I`m VERY SICK….
“Oh, I can`t take HIS money! I can`t PRINT my own money!
I have to WORK for MONEY!—why don`t I just lay down and die?!?”
Residual traces of my spirit will haunt so many strange, lost and forgotten places
when I am gone….seriously, I was just laughing to myself about it, my predilection
for the edges and the abandoned places as I sit in my tranquil garden/dirty alley…call it what you will….
“I just don`t know what to do with myself…”
Burt Bacharach as sung by Jack White….
Venice Beach…..”the Soft Parade has now begun…” JM
The pack mentality of LA drivers is so goddamned irritating….I always like to BREAK OUT of the pack…and I do…….
If you died here, you`d be home by now…”
“In a time of universal deceit, TELLING THE TRUTH is a revolutionary act.”
“I need some supplies–a keg of beer, and a six-pack to hold me till I top the keg…”
The element of surprise is always good—planning too much leaves too much room for things to go wrong…
My Venice Beach Arbor Skateboards….
The Dragon Warrior
Sheena the Mermaid
The first day of spring….beautiful…..
Sunday, 3/22/09 8am
in the car, driving alone, I see a GIANT rainbow amongst dark clouds while on the radio,
I hear Eddie Money, “Two Tickets to Paradise…”
My local bowling alleys for my “Big Lebowski” phases….
Bay Shore Lanes
Mar Vista Lanes
El Dorado Lanes
“I`ll Never Get Out of this World Alive”
“Goodness is the only investment that never fails.”
Wall writing in Venice Beach
“Freedom`s just another word for nothing left to lose…”
“Sunday Mornin` Coming Down”
No, I`m not an actor, I`m a CHARACTER, but that counts too….
“Sometimes when you lose one gift, God gives you another…”
Johnny Cash (Autobiography)
DID YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO
38 FUCKING YEARS OLD WITH NO CREDIT RATING AT ALL?!?
NOT BAD CREDIT, NOT GOOD, NOTHING! HA!! HYSTERICAL!
“But that train keeps a`rollin`, on down to San Antone…..
I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die,
When I hear that whistle blowin`, I hang my head and cry…”
yap, yap, flippity flap……NEXT!!………….