STREET JOURNAL 60

Standard

By Tom H. Brooks 3

In which our protagonist says his farewells to his beloved Los Angeles and then he up and moves to Japan…

ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT I`M TALKING TO MYSELF ABOUT…………………….………………………………………..

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THE DIAMOND BOOK
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“If our life were an eternal standing by the window, if we could remain there forever, like hovering smoke,
with the same moment of twilight forever painting the curve of the hills…if we could remain that way for
beyond–forever!  If at least on this side of the impossible we could thus continue, without committing an
action, without our pallid lips sinning another word…
Look how it`s getting dark.  The positive quietude of everything fills me with rage, with something that`s
a bitterness in the air I breathe.  My soul aches…a slow wisp of smoke rises and dissipates in the distance…
A restless tedium makes me think no more of you…All so superfluous!  We and the world and the mystery of both.”
Fernando Pessoa
“The Book of Disquiet”
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As always, I will enjoy MY BIRTHDAY (my 41st) on MY OWN TERMS….
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I wouldn`t cross the street to piss on you if you were on fire….SCUMBAG….
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My cigarette ash lands on a small spider`s humble web, and immediately, he scurries down,
breaks it up and dismantles it and casts it away—tidy little fucker, just like me….
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“When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity.  When many people
suffer from a delusion, it is called Religion.”
Robert M. Pirsig
“Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”
________
a great t-shirt with `Space Invaders` on it:
“VIDEO GAMES HAVE RUINED MY LIFE–
GOOD THING I HAVE SO MANY EXTRA LIVES”
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“Cheating is only in good taste when it involves Death…”
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I know, I know….I came outta NOWHERE….
but that`s what I do–I sneak up on ya like a ninja and then BLLAAAHHHMMM!!!
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“Government is not reason, it is not eloquence; it is force, the fire of a troublesome servant and a fearful master.
Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.”
George Washington
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Of all the random things in the universe, thank you for MY LIFE….
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” `What`s the best way to go about disarming one of these things?` (a bomb)
`The way you don`t die, sir…` “
“The Hurt Locker”
________
I was wrong before; Jeff Bridges is NOT a customer at the Farmacy (I had been confused by one of the other employees…)
JEFF DOWD is known as “The Dude” and HE is the character that the movie, “The Big Lebowski” is based on….yes, REALLY……
I met him, and he IS THE DUDE….
________
5/8/10
RZA of Wu Tang and John Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers just wandered into the Farmacy…
I had a nice conversation with the both of them…
________
5/9/10
Happy Birthday to ME….41 fucking years!  Wow….thanks…..
1969-2010–?    Holy Shit, I`ve seen a piece of 6 decades now!  HA!!
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Homer  “Women don`t mean anything by anything!
Lisa  “That`s a dangerous attitude.”
Homer  “I know what you mean, Lisa…..NOTHING!”
“…beer, hot dogs, and long blackouts on the beach…”
Homer Simpson (our old cartoon friend…)
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I`ve spent more than half a lifetime smoking the lovely cannabis flower……
I suspect there may be enough of it in my system to last until the end of time…
(Nope….now that I`m in Japan, I was wrong.  There WASN`T enough….)
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Great Caesar`s Ghost!!  “The Simpsons” has been on for half my life!
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I`ve been alive long enough to have seen “The Karate Kid” be made twice…
________
Oh, what the fuck does THAT mean?  They make EVERYTHING two or three times
nowadays because they can`t come up with any fresh ideas…
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YLEMentary School
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“Violence is NEVER the answer–unless the question is, `what is never the answer?` “
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“That`s like the cast of a `Twilight` movie lining up to see a bunch of fat girls…IT`S ALL BACKWARDS!!”
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TEXTING under 10 feet (3.048 meters) from each other is called NEXTING…..
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“He had the complete Sex in the City DVD box set between his butt cheeks…!”
“Family Guy”
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“Let`s just hope it has what every other small town in America has…cheap and plentiful methamphetamine….”
“American Dad”
________
“…and I will give him the Morning Star…”
Revelation
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a great band name….
Blood, Sweat and Beers
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black guys driving on the wrong side of the road….
“They`re driving BLACKWARDS!!”
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“You never know when some scumbag is gonna try and take you out…”
Dave Polston
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You know, Los Angeles looks fucking BEAUTIFUL from the end of the Venice Pier with a beer….
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5/13 to 5/15/10    Just for laughs, I`ve gone the last three days with a dirty South, NASCAR, Motorhead mustache…..
“WHAT`S UP, PECKERWOOD?!?”
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TOO MUCH is better than nothing at all…
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Well, I already have an entire novel written…..the problem is that it is in500,000 PIECES!!
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watchoutthesireniscomingforya
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YOU KNOW NOTHING
________
WELL, I KNOW A FEW THINGS ANYWAY…
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I can`t help but blow my own horn once in a while, `cause it so often sounds like Miles Davis…
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Steve Edwards to Dorothy Lucey on FOX in the morning…..(this guy is a FUNNY character…)
“Would you do me a favor?  PLEASE DON`T do my eulogy, `cause you`re gonna get it ALL WRONG…”
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“The #1 fear of people is public speaking.  Can you believe this?!?  Public speaking!  That means
at a funeral, most people would rather be IN THE COFFIN than giving the eulogy!”
Jerry Seinfeld
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nunya
NUNYA BIZNESS……
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ROGUE THINKER
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JESUS FREAKS…..stuck somewhere between the Middle Ages and Fantasyland…..NO THANKS!
I`ll find and meet God on MY own terms, in MY own way……
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CHAOS!!!
MOB RULES!!!
FUCKING VIKINGS, MAN!!!
 
PILLAGE AND PLUNDER!!!
_________
Sometimes, I don`t write as much as other times simply because I am too busy
actually TALKING & LIVING THE DREAM, BABY…..!!!
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THE HAPPY HEDONIST
(a great name for a bar that I`d like to open…DON`T STEAL IT!!)
_________
Who am I talking to?
Oh, that`s right……MYSELF….
_________
5/16/10
Cars….get the FUCK outta my way when I`m on my skateboard….I`M COMING THROUGH!!!
_________
slithering around my apartment like a cobra snake on methamphetamines…..
_________
“Mississippi darkness rolling down from the sea…”
Willie Nelson
_________
“By learning new tricks, you can stop yourself from turning into an old dog…”
_________
“Like all the men of Babylon, I have been proconsul; like all, I have been a slave.  I have known
omnipotence, ignominy, imprisonment.  Look here–my right hand has no index finger…”
Jorge Luis Borges
“The Lottery in Babylon”
_________
” `You said that Gautama Buddha was the greatest salesman in history.`
`I was right.  He was selling NOTHING.  That`s what NIRVANA means:
NOTHING.  As a cure for the great cosmic disaster most of us call life,
he prescribed a rigorous course of meditation and perfect living over any
number of lifetimes, with NOTHING as its final reward.  Do you think
anyone on Madison Ave. could sell THAT?!?  But the whole of the Indian
subcontinent bought it at the time.  Today there are more than 300,000,000
Buddhists in the world and growing.` “
John Burdett
“Bangkok 8”
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ME MYSELF & I……………3 of my favorite personalities…..
__________
regarding MY life….
It`s a carefully orchestrated song and dance, my friend;
either learn the moves or GET OUT OF THE WAY……………..>>>>>>>>
__________
If I see your fat face around here again, it`s gonna get A LOT fatter….
__________
5/20/10  Oakwood Estates
Aaaaah, the sun is out again.  Look at all the lounge lizards come out from under their rocks….
__________
“You only see two sides to people–the one you want to see, and the one they show you.”
__________
“Never underestimate the capacity of other people to let you down.”
__________
The Day It All Fell Apart
 
A man awoke one day, feeling worse than usual…
He shuffled to the bathroom mirror and looked deeply into his own tired and bloodshot blue eyes–
tired because they had seen so much, too much of everything.  The same sad stories, the same
faces and places, death and tragedy all around, and the calm acceptance that fighting the inevitable
was futile.  His skin was blotchy red with rashy patches that began to look like boils.  He went to
scratch at his face and it peeled off beneath his fingers like an overripe banana, the layers of skin
folded away the mask of humanity to reveal the primitive bare bones of existence and a faceless
skull beneath…terrifying, yet horribly fascinating, his flesh began to fall away in strips of its own
accord.  He watched, hypnotized, as a hole appeared in his chest cavity, revealing what should
be guts and organs.  His innards had already dried within and had the appearance of dead leaves
on the dirty ground.  His bones began to become brittle and dry, his leg broke and snapped and
he fell to the floor.  It was all happening so fast–so suddenly.  He raised a skeletal arm in front of
his skull face, touched his mouth and his jaw came off in his bony hand, like a nightmare, but
horribly, horribly real.  He was now nothing but a skull sitting atop a pile of mouldering dry and dusty
bones, full aware of his situation and surroundings.  Mercifully (or maybe not), at that moment, he
went blind as his eyes sunk into the hollows of his black hole skull.  There was nothing left to feel
but the sensation of his own final and ultimate disintegration…
5/20/10  8:45am    The Alley
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The Wind-Up Bird Alley in Venice will always be MY ALLEY, because I`m the one that discovered
it for WHAT IT IS…..A PORTAL TO ANOTHER WORLD…..
When I am gone from here, surely, there will be a distinct hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum….
__________
“What he knows is that his heart is filled with an implacable sense of guilt.  At the same time, he can`t
escape the feeling that he is the victim of a terrible injustice.”
Paul Auster
“Travels in the Scriptorium”
_________
Wars have been fought over that ….
_________
I PLAY WITH WORDS
BECAUSE
THEY PLAGUE ME…
_________
hmmmm, the day is tinged with menace…..WATCH OUT….
_________
Los Angeles….
Like somebody stepped on New York and scraped it on the beach…
Suburbs in search of a city
A city on its back
_________
5/23/10  a small irony….
Smoking some chronic OG Skywalker Kush while watching the “Family Guy”Star Wars spoof episode….
“How come I never get any lines in these things?”
“Shut up, Meg!!”
/////////
…as he is lowered into the pit…..(Peter Griffin as Han Solo and Lois as Leia….)
Lois  “I love you…”
Peter “Fuck Off.”
/////////
“…the Force, the Force….”
“Awww, there he goes with THAT again—HEY!  Keep it in CHURCH, man!!”
“Something, Something, Something Dark Side”
_________
the secret is to know when to NOT stop…..!
yo no se nada
IT`S ALL WRONG!!
not me….
YOU!!!
please, make it stop…..hahaha….
s   t   o   o   p   i   d
_________
sick but true
_________
“When you look into the Abyss,
the Abyss looks back into you.”
Nietzsche
_________
Great bumpersticker with a picture of a big gun….
“EMERGENCY?
DIAL .357 “
_________
” `A pretty phrase, doctor, Imaginative Reasoning.  Since when
does imagination have anything to do with reason?`
`Since now, Mr. Blank.  From the moment you begin to tell me
the rest of the story.` “
Paul Auster
“Travels in the Scriptorium”
_________
8am….first beer of the day…..
oops, I did it again….
_________
 
It`s foolish to ask for luxuries in times like these.
Cormac McCarthy
“The Road”
_________
NEVER in my sorrowful and shameful 20 years in the restaurant business, have I
run into such fussy, bitchy, stinking, spoiled rotten, asshole customers as I have
at the Marmalade Cafe, yes, STILL the place where dreams go to die….
_________
“Brisk
the music of pulled shades,
a last man`s cave
in an eternity
of swarm and explosion…”
Charles Bukowski
_________
WALKING PARADOX AFTER MIDNIGHT
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The warmth is gone, but the beauty remains…
_________
I think Michael Jackson may have killed Janet
and survives to this day impersonating her….
_________
Uh oh, I think I may have started to equate my
drunken craziness with feeling what some call `normal.`
_________
“I need a Remedy….
for what`s ailing me…”
The Black Crowes
_________
another FAKEBLAKE…..
_________
5/27/10  11:26pm    a full moon night while listening to Santana`s Moonflower (Flor d` Luna)
Beautiful…
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“No Tooth Fairy…HA!!  That`s a good one, you almost had me.  I suppose you`re gonna
tell me there`s no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or Jesus either…..”
Eric Cartman
“South Park”
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I love my inanimate objects
_________
This is what the STREET JOURNALS are all about…..
RANDOM THOUGHTS IN A RANDOM WORLD……….
turtle soup
egg on a shelf
refrigerator
armadillo
Timbuktu
snake in the grass
black cat
sandwich
chicken liver
jellyfish bunghole
JUST MAKING MY POINT…
_________
 
“COME FOR THE MASS,
STAY FOR THE GUILT”
“Family Guy”
_________
I was just remembering the time at the Oakwood when I got off the G-building elevator on the wrong floor
and tried to put the key in the lock of the wrong apartment, G-222….I`m in G-322!  No one was home and
these hallways all look the same…..!  Drunken asshole….HA!!!
_________
What happened then?!?
I`ll never tell….
_________
5/29/10
Dennis Hopper
Rest in Peace, brother…..(another Farmacy customer…)
_________
The Gulf of Mexico, the place where the Chixiclub Asteroid hit the earth and extinguished the dinosaurs….
well, now it is filled with oil, threatening humanity…..one step closer on the long road to extinction and the end…
we are fucking idiots….
_________
5/31/10
This whole day has been one big laugh riot…
_________
*********************************************************************************************
“What we have here isn`t a book but its subversion and negation: the ingredients for a book whose recipe
is to keep shifting,  the mutant germ of a book and its weirdly lush ramifications, the rooms and windows
to build a book but no floor plan and no floor, a compendium of many potential books and many others
already in ruins.  What we have in these pages is a kind of anti-literature, a primitive, verbal CAT scan
of one man`s anguished soul.”
*********************************************************************************************
“The same love by which we`re loved, oppresses us with its wanting.”
“Nothing is more oppressive than the affection of others.”
“I make landscapes out of what I feel, I make holidays of my sensations.”
“I am, in large measure, the self-same prose I write…I`ve made myself into the character of a book, a life
one reads.  Whatever I feel is felt (against my will) so that I can write that I felt it.  Whatever I think is promptly
put into words, mixed with images that undo it, cast into rhythms that are something else altogether.  From so
much self-revising, I`ve destroyed myself.  From so much self-thinking, I`m now my thoughts and not I.  I plumbed
myself and dropped the plumb; I spend my life wondering if I`m deep or not, with no remaining plumb except my
gaze that shows me–blackly vivid in the mirror at the bottom of the well–my own face that observes me observing it.”
Fernando Pessoa
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I AM THESE WORDS
________
Chiharu and I….Our love story….
Will it have a happy Hollywood ending?
Will it go on always?
Will it have a tragic and sorrowful Art Film ending?
Questions I cannot answer…..
(It`s a little rocky, you know?  We`ve got A LOT of extenuating
circumstances that affect our relationship in an adverse way…)
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Oakwood    Apartment Box Paradise
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Oh yeah, sorry about that mistake I made last year…
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EVERYTHING
means
NOTHING
________
“A snarling wife on
the balustrade
is more than a man
can bear…”
Charles Bukowski
________
You know you`re gonna die, right?……….
Well then, ENJOY life while you can….
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EVERYTHING makes music if you listen closely…
________
SIMULACRUM
________
Secret languages
A song
we could never write
A piece of the eternity
that many TRY to capture
A tangible slice
of timelessness
forever caught
in the amber of
of this morning stillness
Messages flashing
behind my closed eyelids
>cryptic symbols<
There are mysteries here
that may not yet be revealed…
_______
Pessoa on an imaginary stroll with his ghostly female friend….
“And what a refreshing and happy horror that there was nobody there!  Not even we, who walked there, were there…for we
were nobody.  We were nothing at all.  We had no life for death to have to kill.  We were so tenuous and slight that the wind`s
passing left us prostrate, and time`s passage caressed us like a breeze grazing the top of a palm.”
Fernando Pessoa
“The Forest of Estrangement”
________
I suggest that if you like beautiful music, YouTube–  Mahler quartet for piano and strings in A minor.
Then, continue reading while you listen…
________
My old nickname in Mission Beach was DRIFTWOOD….
somehow, it seems SO appropriate…
________
This is from the future in Japan….10/31/12….HALLOWEEN where there is no HALLOWEEN……
a haiku I wrote on the way to work today follows….as I sit here in my office typing this for you….
see the robots run
devoid of passion for LIFE
I am SO alone
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Back to past…..6/10/10
“…the best laid plans of mice and men…”
________
Always behind the compulsive CA lottery ticket-buyer scumbags while I`m waiting in line with my beer getting warm….
YOU`RE NOT GONNA WIN, ASSHOLE!!
________
My last weeks in LA for quite a while….driving all around the city, constantly listening to the Black Keys….
somehow, it`s just perfect…
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MOFOS!!!!!  AAAAARRRGGGHH!!  They laid a sand gravel skateboard TRAP for me on Washington Blvd sometime since yesterday!!
Oh yeah, I ate SHIT, and GOOD…….the pain……it lets me know I`M ALIVE….
________
I think they are trying to kill me
________
Ahhhhh, my favorite truck……THE BUDWEISER TRUCK
________
I talked to an off-duty Ohio policeman who was standing around slack-jawed in the Farmacy looking at all the cannabis….he couldn`t believe his eyes….
________
“Our big story tonight…A pig who refuses to eat Jews…?”
Tom Tucker
“Family Guy”
________
July 28th, 2010 will be the day I am leaving for Japan….
I don`t know if I`m excited or worried…..whatever, I`ll survive.
I always do…
________
Erratic, bouncing around,
like a superball in a rubber room…
________
“There`s no such thing as strong beer,
only weak men…”
An old saying from Germany (or is it Belgium?  Bulgaria?  Maybe Dave said that…or was it Ronnie?  or ME?…..whatever…)
________
RIDICULOUS LIFE
________
DELIRIUM is still my favorite drug…
________
always remember to stop for a quick DANGERBREW
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Marlboros are also known as Cowboy Killers….(did you know they were originally marketed as women`s cigarettes?  I`ll bet ya didn`t ….)
________
A sticker on the Venice Pier…..
“TUESDAY NIGHT SPECIAL:
ride bikes, drink beers, go fuck yourself”
________
Chiharu and I drive up north for an adventure in the Kern River Valley….
The McCambridge Lodge in Kernville….
`A view with a room` is their slogan…
Highway 178 east through the Valley of the Joshua Trees
a very small town called Onyx
Walker Pass (5500 feet)
to 14 south to Mojave
to 58 east to Boron
to US 395 south to Hesperia
to Interstate 15 south to the Mexican Border and Imperial Beach
from 5500 feet to sea level in one day….now THAT is a SoCal driving adventure!
Mountains to desert to ocean….like a miniature version of a drive across America…
Goodbye Tijuana Sloughs
________
Everyday that I DON`T get TACO SURF
I DIE a little inside….
________
First they spill oil in the Gulf of Mexico and ruin our fish….
I`m afraid next they`ll spill oil on the COWS and we`ll get no more beef…..
________
Josh`s special Elephant OG Kush….the BEST herb I`ve smoked in a long time….nasty, sticky madness….
________
“All energy is only borrowed;
eventually, you`ll have to give it back…”
________
“LITANY
We never know self-realization.  We are two abysses–a well staring at the sky…”
Pessoa
________
6/17/10
Lakers/Celtics final…… the LAKERS are the champs again….!!!!!  Let`s RIOT!!!!
________
 My attitude towards cars when I`m cutting in and out of traffic on my skateboard and they have to slam on their brakes….
Oh, I saw you….I just DIDN`T CARE….
________
another celebrity Farmacy customer….Tim Meadows from Saturday Night Live….
I KNEW that motherfucker smoked weed….what am I talking about….?  EVERYONE does…..
________
Ahhhhh, Los Angeles……the sound of sirens, helicopters and gunshots….celestial music to my ears…
________
We`re going back to the McCambridge Lodge for one more adventure…..(room #9 is reserved….)
Dan, Alphia and Amber who work there and own it….nice folks, real characters…just a couple days from now
________
I was skateboarding around the beach, drinking beers and banging little vixens
when you were just a gleam in some drunken Mick`s bloodshot eye….
________
6/20/10  BEST SKATEBOARD FALL EVER  at 25 mph…..
not a scratch….the PERFECT tuck and roll…..unfuckingbelievable!!
________
Deep Purple, “Highway Star”….the ULTIMATE driving music….
________
“Literature–
Art married to thought”
“Whether or not they exist,
we`re slaves to the gods…”
” I see life as a roadside inn where I have to stay until the coach from the abyss pulls up.  I don`t know
where it will take me, because I don`t know anything.  I could see this inn as a prison, for I`m compelled
to wait in it; I could see it as a social center, for it`s here that I meet others.  But I`m neither impatient nor
common.  I leave who will to stay shut up in their rooms, sprawled out on beds where they sleeplessly
wait, and I leave who will to chat in the parlors, from where their songs and voices conveniently drift out
here to me.  I`m sitting at the door, feasting my eyes and ears on the colors and sounds of the landscape,
and I softly sing–for myself alone–wispy songs I compose while waiting….
Night will fall on us all and the coach will pull up.  I enjoy the breeze I`m given and the soul I was given to
enjoy it with, and I no longer question or seek.  If what I write in the book of travelers can, when read by
others at some future date, also entertain them on their journey, then fine.  If they don`t read it, or are not
entertained, that`s fine too…”
Fernando Pessoa
________
SoCal Road Adventure with Tom and Chiharu….
mountain cows!!  Really?!?  Bats, deer, horses, strange birds…..
Silver City Ghost Town   BODFISH by Lake Isabella….interesting…..
As all good rednecks know, ANYTIME of day is a good time for a cold beer…
Blue copper june bug…seemingly dead in the pool at McCambridge Lodge (Kernville)
after 24 hours….steadily drowning…RESURRECTION!!  I brought him back to life!!
Thousands upon thousands of ladybugs whirling mindlessly through the sunbeams
beneath the emerald-green canopy of the GIANT Sequoia trees….
Town of Ponderosa  (elevation 7200 feet)  population 64
Route 190
to 65 south
to 99
to 58 west
to 119 south to Taft and Maricopa
to 33 south through Carrizo Plains to Ventura (passed through San Luis Obispo and Santa Barbara Counties….)
I am a HELL OF A GREAT NAVIGATOR…
Lost in Ventura fog at 10pm  (maybe not that great…)
Awww, hell, even Magellan made mistakes and tactical errors…
from 7200 feet to sea level in a day!
________
At the speed I ride on my skateboard, when I fall, I don`t rely
on logical decisions but rather on instinct….DROP, TUCK & ROLL, BITCHES!!!
________
Driving in Los Angeles Traffic……The 1st Portal to Hell…..
________
Chiharu and I have driven 19,000 miles together in our Honda Civic….
________
The subtleties of beer are for MEN to decide
and women to ACCEPT….
________
6/29/10   sick drunken talk with Ronnie…..after the big rave at the Coliseum….
pick `em up when they`re totally wasted, violate `em and leave `em burning at the side of the freeway….HA!!
________
Maybe that`s not funny….
________
Yes, it is…..
________
 Well, if it`s the last thing I do, I`m gonna find out what the hell they`re doing over there in Tokyo….
(and it MAY be the last thing I do!  They`re being goddamned robots, that`s what they`re doing….being robots…)
________
A homeless dude`s sign on the Venice Boardwalk;
“Shity Advice
    $1#       “
________
Chiharu…how does she manage to make a cellphone sound like it`s SLAMMING down when she hangs up on me?!?
________
A great idea for an unusual and original Art exhibition….
pictures of people`s driver`s licenses as they age and change their look and/or style along the way….
________
Blessed are those who entrust their lives to no one.”   (perhaps this one should have registered a little deeper in my mind when I first read it…)
 
“Intrigue, gossip, the loud boasting over what one didn`t have the guts to do, the contentment of each miserable creature
dressed in the unconscious consciousness of his own soul, sweaty and smelly sexuality, the jokes they tell like monkeys
tickling each other, their appalling ignorance of their utter unimportance–All of this leaves me with the impression of a
monstrous and vile animal created in the chaos of dreams, out of desires` soggy crusts, out of sensations` chewed-up leftovers.”
“The world is one big confusion, like voices in the night.”
A sunset is an intellectual phenomenon.
“I`ll disappear in the fog as a foreigner to all life, as a human island detached from the dream of the sea, as a uselessly existing
ship that floats on the surface of everything.”
“The only attitude worthy of a superior man is to persist in an activity he recognizes is useless, to observe a discipline he knows
is sterile, and to apply certain norms of philosophical and metaphysical thought that he considers utterly inconsequential.”
Fernando Pessoa
“The Book of Disquiet”
________
Japan is a day ahead of America in the stream of time, so it is Halloween in America as I write this.
Robots (I mean people) don`t celebrate this most frivolous and fun of holidays as Americans do, but I`m dressed up anyway.
I`m dressed as a MALCONTENTED EXPATRIATE.
________
Doctor Paolo Zamboni of Italy and his `Liberation Procedure.`  Something to think about.
He believes that Multiple Sclerosis may actually be a VASCULAR DISEASE triggered by disruptions in blood circulation.
And I think he may be right.
________
7/1/10
The actor, Tim Robbins came into the Farmacy with his brother, David Robbins….
________
This place is FULL of celebrities…..(aside from myself, that is…)
________
Marmalade Cafe has a new slogan…..
MARMALADE CAFE–
A PLACE FOR SCUMBAGS
________
Alright, I`M LOSIN` IT!!
________
“That`s me,
the boy with the broken halo,
that`s me,
the devil won`t let me be…”
The Black Keys
________
Graffiti under the 10 freeway at La Cienega…
A picture of the Mother Mary (Mama Maria)
“YOU ARE NOTHING”
HA!  Just a friendly reminder, that`s all….
________
Chiharu….my little Pop n` Fresh…..
________
“TERRORIST:
What the big army calls the little army”
________
“The entire life of the human soul is mere motion in the shadows.  We live in a twilight of consciousness, never
 in accord with whom we are or think we are.  Everyone harbors some kind of vanity, and there`s an error whose
degree we can`t determine.  We`re something that goes on during the show`s intermission; sometimes, through
certain doors, we catch a glimpse of what may be no more than scenery.  The world is one big confusion, like
voices in the night.
I`ve just reread these pages on which I write with a lucidity that endures only in them, and I ask myself: What is
this, and what good is it?  Who am I when I feel?  What in me dies when I am?
Like someone on a hill who tries to make out the people in the valley, I look down at myself from on high, and I`m
a hazy and confused landscape, along with everything else.
In these times when an abyss opens up in my soul, the tiniest detail distresses me like a letter of farewell.  I feel
as if I`m always on the verge of waking up.  I`m oppressed by the very self that encases me, asphyxiated by
conclusions, and I`d gladly scream if my voice could reach somewhere.  But there`s this heavy slumber that moves
from one group of my sensations to another, like drifting clouds that make the half-shaded grass of sprawling fields
turn various colors of sun and green.
I`m like someone searching at random, not knowing what object he`s looking for nor where it was hidden.  We play
hide and seek with no one.  There`s a transcendent trick in all of this, a fluid divinity we can only hear.
Yes, I reread these pages that represent worthless hours, brief illusions or moments of calm, large hopes channeled
into the landscape, sorrows like closed rooms, certain voices, a huge weariness, the unwritten gospel.
We all have our vanity, and that vanity is our way of forgetting that there are other people with a soul like our own.
My vanity consists of a few pages, passages, doubts….
I reread?  A lie!  I don`t dare reread.  I can`t reread.  What good would it do me?  The person in the writing is someone
else.  I no longer understand a thing…”
Fernando Pessoa
_________
Have you ever listened to Fela Kuti?  If not, you should…( start with listening to the song, “Gentleman”……BADASS, I tell ya…..)
_________
“Put lipstick on a pig, and it`s STILL A PIG!”
_________
World Cup Soccer 2010    Spain and Netherlands……SPECTACULAR!!  Spain was the winner….
_________
Let me tell you a little story…
When I was a young boy full of dreams and the whole world was before me, I used to lie back on the green, green grass
with my hands behind my head and gaze up at the limitless blue sky full of white, puffy clouds and dream….someday….?
Someday, I want to work in RESTAURANTS–yeah–I want to bring huge piles of eggs and sandwiches to thankless old
Jews and yuppie breeders with their horrible scumbag children and non-tipping Eurotrash and Asians, and every other
type of nightmare vision of our filthy humanity you can dream up–and well……?  HERE I AM.
It just goes to show you………DREAMS DO COME TRUE.
_________
1:32pm…..I feel like a European having wine and cheese at this time of day…
_________
“Well, Rusty…it looks like we`re gonna have to eat our way out of another jam…”
_________
I burn more energy in ONE DAY than most people do in their entire lives…
_________
Awwww, I love it when my little Chiharu falls asleep in front of the television and her glasses are all crooked…
_________
“This country was founded on indecency, look around, I`ll prove it to ya–the Washington Monument looks a lot like a big penis,
the Capitol Building, like a giant titty, and the Pentagon…!!?  You look me in the eye and tell me it doesn`t look like a giant anus.”
Peter Griffin
_________
The best there ever was….
_________
7/11/10
Lebanese Herojuana……HASH….the best joint EVER….
_________
7/12/10  At the Archstone Building next door to the Oakwood to see Shaun….
We get in the elevator and ride with GREG fucking BRADY…..HA!!
_________
“DAMN, this is some good-ass cheese!”
Arsenio Hall (on the Dave Chappelle Show)
_________
July 15th, 2010  ….and the LA fire season begins AGAIN…..here we go!!
“…I see your hair is burning,
    Hills are filled with fire….”
Jim Morrison
_________
They found the ruins of an OLD 18th century ship UNDER the destroyed World Trade Center (NYC) Ground Zero site?!?  Damn!!
_________
You`re only gonna get uglier,  DEAL WITH IT!
_________
…looking at the face of God…
_________
watch out for scumbags….
“If you don`t like America, then you can GIT OUT!!
_________
rabble rabble rabble
_________
KICK ROCKS, SCUMBAG!
_________
Sirens…..the night song of Los Angeles…
_________
Karuizawa…when I get to Japan, I will be living right next to it……(see attachment…this picture is in my book…)
_________
“I`d piss on a spark plug if I thought it`d make a difference…”
DWP
_________
I`LL DO THE TALKING….
YOU DO THE LISTENING…
_________
” `You don`t have a choice…`
`There`s ALWAYS a choice.` “
Denzel Washington in “The Book of Eli”
_________
Trying to go back to what you can never return to is an exercise in futility….
(but there`s always memories…)
_________
Here`s some words to eliminate from your vocabulary…..WHY and IF…..
_________
SPECULATIVE BULLSHIT
_________
I THINK I WILL SIT HERE AND BLOW SUNSHINE UP YOUR ASS…
_________
text terms for you compulsive texty-mctexters…….
GFY–GO FUCK YOURSELF
NI–NOT INTERESTED
________
“The wheel is definitely turning but the hamster is dead.”
________
7/19/10
Final bike ride to Redondo and Palos Verdes with Shaun and Dave…
________
“…twitching, like a dying sparrow in the frost…”
Charles Bukowski  (I`ll have you know, as poetic as this may sound, he`s talking about his BUNGHOLE….HA!!)
________
“Cast thy bread upon the waters for thou
shalt find it after many days…”
King Solomon
________
`Let`s agree to disagree…`
NOPE
________
“God made pot,
man made beer.
Who do you trust?”
________
The Liver is Evil and Must Be Punished
________
“Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned”
Wells Tower
________
“For a long time we`d been nothing but an argument waiting for different ways to happen.”
Wells Tower
________
Friday  7/23/10
My last day at the Farmacy cannabis dispensary, the COOLEST job ever.  Only 4 days left in LA.  Glorious days
they WILL BE, I might add.  This life just FLIES by.  Off to the mountains of Japan and the next chapter in the
adventure that is MY LIFE…
________
“My religion is to die with no regrets.”
________
“Memories are nothing but footprints in the sands of time.”
“Every human heartbeat is a universe of possibilities.”
Sharon Brooks (My Mom)
________
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I`m not sure about the universe.”
Albert Einstein
________
“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has NEVER tried to contact us.”
Bill Watterson
________
Remember Linda Allred from the Farmacy….a real, old sweetheart hippie….
________
THE TOWER OF BABBLE
________
7/26/10
I can`t find my skateboard ANYWHERE!  My excellent Arbor board with the Venice Pier and the mermaid…..damnit!  What
a goddamned idiot!  Till the day I die, I will always wonder where the fuck I left that board…
Later the same day…Ronnie and I breaking and entering an old apartment in the abandoned city between Palms and California Ave.
An old apartment filled with discarded and forgotten items….really, what happened here in this strange place?  HYAAAAAAAA!!!
________
NOMAD
(My alternate name)
________
7/27/10
As I ride aimlessly around, revisiting my favorite haunts, (like the Alley, of course) everything is burned forever into my mind`s eye.
For now, my final great skateboard ride around Venice canals and streets and beach.  I will really miss you, Venice.  I walked
into my market for a beer and the song playing was “California Dreamin` ” ….you see, irony is everywhere….
Farewell, West Coast………I will see you again…..
________
I`M GOING TO JAPAN WITH NOTHING BUT
A SACK OF POTATOES AND MY DREAMS
________
7/28/10   Singapore Airlines is the BEST EVER….and the flight attendants are really SEXY…..
FIRST IMPRESSIONS…
7/29/10  6:36pm  After a 12 fucking hour flight,  we landed in Tokyo, Japan (actually, Narita airport is in Chiba…).
A new world lies before me…
It is raining and humid and immediately, I notice the multitude of differences from LA, most notably….no smog,
it is not brown with dry air.  It is almost impossibly emerald-green and muggy.  It also seems to be much cleaner than LA…
The next day, I went to Ryujin o Matsuri in Miyota….a fascinating festival of drums and dancers and dragons….they seem
to hold onto tradition here in Japan, much more so than Americans, even though Tokyo is ultra modern.  Let`s face it,
up here in the mountains, it seems like Tokyo is a thousand miles away, even though it is only one hour by bullet train (shinkansen)
8/1/10  7am
I am walking alone through the misty Japanese morning, a surreal dreamworld to say the least…I`m gonna get lost and I don`t care…
Remembering how Los Angeles gave me a sunshine goodbye, and Japan gave Chiharu a rainy welcome home….
8/2/10  11am
A gorgeous morning walk through the rain-heavy mist hovering in lacy fringes on lush green mountains.  Now, later….I am sitting outside
the house watching Chiharu gardening in her straw hat and little white gloves.  I feel as though I`ve wandered into a Haruki Murakami
novel.  Strange birds chirp cryptic messages and my mind floats free as a soft wind…
8/3/10
I just walked face-first through the THICKEST, STICKIEST spiderweb EVER…..ARRRRGGGHH, I can`t get it off my face…and that spider is HUGE…
I had to go to the police station to register for some paperwork.
The Japanese police station is about the funniest thing I`ve seen in awhile…surely, quite ineffective IF they had a serious crime problem here, which
they DO NOT.  The cops don`t even have guns!!  And they wear these little white Mickey Mouse gloves….HA!  In America, they`d be cut to ribbons
by gangs, serial killers and general various types of maniacs.  The American police have an authoritative attitude and many competent detectives
and crime-fighting forensics technology and bigger computer systems.  This place looks like a shabby tax office.  I pretty much hate cops everywhere,
but being in this sad and comical little village police station almost makes me miss my scumbag American LAPD or NYPD boys….ALMOST…go figure….
A pig is just a pig, after all….no matter where you go….
8/4/10
For some reason, it seems that hamburgers here don`t come with a bun!  To me, that makes it NOT a burger….
WHAT?!?  You`ve never seen a white guy before?!?
The smell of burning firewood is everywhere…the smell reminds me of Mexico or CA mountains, NOT the landscape…
My first drive in Japan….everything here (including the sentence patterns) is ASS-BACKWARDS….they drive on the wrong side of the road!!
8/5/10  8:15am
I found Karuizawa Town by default.  I went WAY up Mount Asama Volcano through Miyota and ended up taking some kind of crazy backstreets route and I found it…
I saw the politicos in their little silver mini van driving around with their loudspeaker jabbering in Japanese and waving with their little white Mickey Mouse gloves
and I just started cracking up…
MEXICAN FOOD in Karuizawa (El Pancho)…can you believe it?!?   It`s a fucking miracle, and the chef was a genuine Mexican from Oaxaca.  Now I am complete again.  Gracias, amigo….
8/7/10
Finally, a quiet day at home; I have been running around like a crazy man since I arrived in Japan, manic with excitement and curiosity.  I have been bike riding up and
down mountains, walking extreme long distances in the humid heat and snapping photos of everything.  My mind and body are exhausted.  I slept 11 hours last night,
a much-needed night`s sleep.  The sun rises earlier here, about 4:30am (Land of the Rising Sun, indeed) and sets around 7pm.  Today, I have been practicing Japanese,
reading a book, organizing my stuff, and in general, letting my mind wander free as I watch the dragonflies, stare up at Mount Asama, and listen to the wind and the birds.
All is well with our world, for now.  The future looks beautiful, if a little strange.  Blessings to us all……
_________
and it`s HAIKU TIME!!
dew drops on green grass
mountains rise in the clouds
blue flower blossoms
___
moss thick on tree trunks
leaves cast shadows on my soul
humid wind blowing
___
sleeping Asama
crowned in fringes of white mist
giant sentinel
___
eve`s golden twilight
leaves clattering down winding roads
lost in the moment
___
night falls rapidly
endless sky stars glittering
crescent moon rising
___
THB3

 

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