By Tom H. Brooks 3

It`s STREET JOURNAL 66 everyone – just what you`ve been waiting for!

Give the Street Journals a chance people; I know they`re long, but they are FASCINATING!

AS ALWAYS, THE THRILL-RIDE CONTINUES………(even when we want to get off….)………………………..
This book is dedicated to all of you, my dear friends, for putting up with me all these
years and for reading this far.  Thanks for being you…..
The following is dedicated specifically to Todd Schultz, who asked WHAT IT IS, and that it deserved more thought.
And this caused me to think about it further….so I came up with this…
A new literary form which incorporates all the random elements of that which is our existence–
LIFE, in other words, into stories.  There is no discernible plot.  The pattern is about as exact
as the path of an autumn leaf blowing down an empty road.  Like an abstract painting, it assaults
our senses with something primal that seems just out of our reach.  It encompasses a broad range
of forms including journal entries, poems, stories, truths, lies, anecdotes, insanities, aphorisms,
quotes, lists, diagrams, photos, drawings, philosophical musings, notes, and a myriad of other
things so numerous that it would be futile to try to account for them all here.  It is an entirely new
genre, one that emphasizes the chaos and coincidence and paradox that is constantly present
in all lives on this earth, if one is willing to SEE.  It is a baffling and haphazard style, bouncing from
one thing to another with no apparent order or plan, but is, in fact, carefully calculated to leave one
feeling a sense of wonder and boundless curiosity about the universe in which we live…
From here, I will let the words speak for themselves…
to Mom:  You are the best Mom one could ever ask for, and endless thanks for always being there.  I love ya….
               ( When I said thanks for putting up with me, I was mostly talking to you! )  {alright everyone…Mom gets off EASY}
to William:  You`re a good man and I don`t want you to ever change, only to grow wiser as the years pass us by.
                   I can`t thank you enough for being the esteemed Guardian of my precious books.  You are a gentleman
                   and a scholar and a great friend…
to Todd:   Thank you for all your input as I`ve gone through this long year of the STREET JOURNAL, even as you had
                 such a difficult year yourself.  I have never undertaken a project such as this.  And now it is complete.  Everything
                 is gonna work out, Todd, for you and for all of us.  NEVER lose sight of your dreams…
to Dave:  My brother, you and I have traveled A LOT of strange places together over the years and had WAY too much fun.
                We`ve done more crazy shit in the last 10 years than most people will ever see in their entire lives.  And goddamn it,
                I wouldn`t change a fucking thing!  I have no regrets and I make no apologies.  Just keep being you, Jackson 4, that`s
                the way we like it…
to Ronnie:  You crazy, drunken Irishman….I always remember the day we got `shitfaced at the Poop Deck` and tumbled off our
                  skateboards all the way home to Venice from Hermosa Beach.  JEEBUS CHRIST, what a couple of trainwrecks we
                  were that day!  And if I had a dollar for every time you `pulled a Ronnie` and disappeared somewhere, I`d be living
                   in a hillside house over the ocean in Hawaii.  Oh yeah, and there`s more to come.  The thrill-ride is not over until
                   I say it is…..which will be NEVER……
to JB:   My man, my brother, JB….GODDAMN, we`re getting OLD, eh?!?  You and I have come down a long and insane road
             together, the longest of roads, filled with traps and obstacles and trouble.  But we fought our way through it and had
             a blast along the way.  I can`t forget that sunny day over 20 years ago when we first met in North Mission at that keg-party on
             the beach, getting drunk and yapping amidst a sea of tanned, half-naked little vixens.  Yes, those were the days and they
             will always live on in memory…..and there WILL BE MORE, of a new variety, of course….When I go out, I`m going out
             with a smile; that`s my story and I`m sticking to it.  And now I raise my drink to you…here`s to 40 MORE years, brother…
to Timbo:  Who loves ya, SCUMBAG?  Say hello to Bay Ridge for me, will ya?  `You assholes almost broke my pussy finger.`
                 I hope you`re not still swimming to work.  Damn, brother, NYC took it up the ass on that storm!  I`ve never seen
                 anything like it, and that`s on the news!  You had a front row seat.  Did you see JB when you were taking your Zodiac
                 to work?  I expect a response to this inquiry within 3 minutes of your receiving it, or I will fly over there just to wack
                 you on the head with a cardboard tube on some dark street on the LES…
to Jonny:  You dirty bear, oh….you……..JONNY-BOY….who loves ya, kid?  What can I say except that you and I have had
                 many good times through the chaos of living at the legendary Yucca Estates.  And many drunken arguments.
                 But then again, I`ve had those with just about every one here except my Mom.  Shit, we did have a lot of fun
                 though, eh?  And we`re still kicking, so there will be more adventures in the future.  I`m not taking you skateboarding
                 though.  You`re TOO SLOW, boy!  I don`t want you to break my pace.  However, on the beer pace, YOU GOT ME BEAT!!
to Derek:  What are you doing up there in the snow, you crazy Canadian?  Where you been?  You think I forgot about ya?
                  No way, son, it just ain`t happening that way.  I got a memory like a steel trap (because I WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN).
                  Listen bro, you might have been a rock star by now if you hadn`t had BLAKE for a manager.  Oh well, not all dreams
                  come true.  Alright, dig your way out of that snow bank, find a computer, and write me a letter.  You tell ME something
                  this time.  I just gave you like 66 volumes of SOMETHING…..
to Blake:  You drunken Bukowski-esque Jabba-the-Hut motherfucker…..where the hell have you been, you dirtbag?  If you could
                 claw your way out from under that mountain of discarded cheap vodka bottles that you sleep under, you might find
                 the time to at least write me a good old classic `GO FUCK YOURSELF` like the last three letters you sent me.  Always
                 the talkative one….you.  Blake, no matter how much I give you shit, you are a unique character and a lot smarter than
                 you look and you are the legend at the heart of the Yucca Estates….a golden time in a golden land…..I hope to see you
                 again someday…..oh yes, and GO FUCK YOURSELF…
to Shaun:  Alright Shaun, I don`t know where you`re at or what you`ve been doing, but if you don`t write me soon, I`m gonna fly
                  to Miami just to throw a brick through your goddamned window.  I`ll do it, too.  I won`t even say hello….just a brick
                  crashing through your window as you sit there watching football or watching internet porn or banging some fake-titty
                  Miami beach bunny.  Even if you live on the 15th floor of a highrise, the brick is COMING IN!  I`ll get a job there as
                  a window washer.  I`m very resourceful.  Damn Shaun, I miss the Oakwood and the Archstone SO BAD.  We were
                  living so fat there and now it is all out of reach, irrevocably lost.  Well, I hope you`re doing ok and I better hear from
                  you the minute you receive this or I`m calling my travel agent…….
I love you guys……..
Alright, enough sentimental hibbity hoo and preamble…..let`s get on with it……
Another example of BAD Japanese spelling and/or grammar:
a t-shirt that I saw a fat girl wearing in Japan, one that will shock you, this sentiment coming from the greatest whale-killers on earth….
(you`ll love this, Ronnie….)
“STOP KILLING WHALE”                 ( Only that one, though.  The rest…. well, you can kill `em…)
 today is the day after yesterday
Morning fields of mist
all night the rain was falling
mysterious dawn
A big spider`s web
intricate geometry
invisible death
4 Haiku by the Japanese master, Basho……
A cuckoo cries
and through a thicket of bamboo
the late moon shines
sick on my journey
only my dreams will wander
these desolate moors
A weathered skeleton
in windy fields of memory
piercing like a knife
A strange flower
for birds and butterflies
the autumn sky
more Haiku(s) written by me…
Cool shade of a tree
wind blows ripples on the grass
my soul is at peace
A vast azure sky
endless expanse of ocean
waves crash on the shore
Ancient stone stairway
deep green canyon of bamboo
majestic temple
Low sun over hills
morning light on a still pond
music of silence
Moonglow in the night
the rice fields in ghostly light
a chorus of frogs
{Among my MANY goals, I want to be the greatest writer of Haiku(s) since Basho,
and the GREATEST gai-jin (foreigner) writer of Haiku(s) EVER………………}
An excellent Haiku by Todd Schultz…
“Loss of innocence
reported by a gunshot
Mourning sun`s mass grave”
I wanna stick my pumpernickel in her breadbox…
(Hey, wait a minute….THAT`S NOT A HAIKU !!..)
Life by Keith Richards is the greatest rock n roll memoir I`ve ever read, and the greatest thing about it is the
way it`s like Keith (Keef) is just talking to you–telling you crazy stories all matter-of-fact like.  Reading it
WHILE listening to the Rolling Stones is even better.
(Names for different types of SNOT from Keith Richards and the Stones:)
Green Gilberts
Scarlet Jenkins
Gabardine Helmsman
I am getting older, but NOT old enough to stop skateboarding.  HELL NO.  Not yet.
I will shake the hands of both Jesus H. Christ AND Satan himself and invite them
BOTH down to the truck stop for a beer and a game of pool before I stop riding my
skateboard.  I LOVE that fucking thing.  I love the freedom-feeling it gives me.  I
love the adventure.  Hell, I even love the pain, because it makes me feel ALIVE.
TO A NEW FUTURE      >  >  >
“Don`t you know there`s no devil,
that`s just god when he`s drunk…”
Tom Waits
Digging My Own Grave
Your bright eyes
the folly of my deception,
that I could really
to any one person,
that I could give fully
more than I could take
from this mad,
crazy world
in which we dwell.
In the end,
I was only fooling myself.
And now,
I am left alone
in an empty void
with no place to rest
but the grave
that I have dug
for myself,
my new home,
Google    Seasick Steve Hobo Low      and watch the FIRST YouTube video result.  I believe it is uploaded by OtherVoicesLive.  Excellent!  Isn`t he playing with just 3 strings?!?
You know it occurs to me, the ONLY times in my life I`ve ever really been bored, is when I`m working some monotonous, menial job…
A great title for a story or poem that I want to use at some point:  EVOCATION
Keith Richards, speaking of his dad….
“He had some energy.  I remember him playing dominoes with 5 or 6 of us through the night, and everybody else was down
under the table, and he was still knocking back neat rum at the same time.  He`d never get drunk.  Always steady.  He was
kind of like me and that was the problem.  You can drink more because it doesn`t really do much.  It`s just something 
you do, like waking up or breathing.
Keith Richards
It has become commonplace for me to have pictures taken with sexy-cute Japanese girls.  Lately, it has been, on average, a twice-weekly
occurrence; on the streets, at the shopping mall, at the train station.  Today it happened with 3 bikini-clad vixens at the pool.  Everywhere
and any time….yes, things could be worse….
“There might be life in the old dog yet–we`ll die gracefully, elegantly wasted.”
Keith Richards in 2012
(addressing rumors of a Rolling Stones 50th anniversary tour)
YouTube   Christina Perri sings Tragedy (Live at Ocean Way Studios)………a good one
Always CROWDING me!
No matter how fun my life has been (and it HAS been REALLY FUN), the saddest thing about it is that I`ve really never had
a job that I TRULY liked.  Just stupid, irritating jobs that I`ve hated; pure drudgery.  If only I could make a living doing the
things that I truly love like writing or photography, well, then my life would be as close to perfect as it`s possible to get.
I guess teaching English is the best one I`ve had yet.  At least there`s some element of fulfillment to it.  It`s better than
slinging food for a bunch of thankless breeders.  You know what they say, “Do what you love, and you`ll never work a day in your life…”
(Well, I`ve already worked A LOT of days…)
The Rolling Stones
7/28/12     Miyota,  Ryujin o Matsuri Festival…
EXCELLENT.  Last year was so-so, but this year may have been the best one yet.  The fireworks show was gorgeous, maybe 20 minutes
compared to last year`s 10 minutes.  More importantly, aside from the dragons and the drums and the beer, there was a rain dance by two
BEAUTIFUL Japanese girls.  I mean drop-dead, spectacular babes.  Strangely, the music that was playing had a Middle-Eastern flavor to
it and their dance reminded me of a Japanese version of a belly dance as well as their gauzy, silken outfits.  One minute after they started,
the thunder and lightning CRASHED and the sky opened up.  This is a dragon festival, mind you, so it couldn`t have been more appropriate.
They kept dancing their sexy dance as the rain came down in a torrent, their faces uplifted and their skin showing through their clothes.  They
were like strippers that never got naked, which made it all the more erotic and magical.  I tell ya, you just had to be there….
“Pray for the people inside your head,
for they won`t be there when you`re dead.”
Johnny Flynn
“Tickle Me Pink”
Timbo: Can you guess who this is?   “I wouldn`t work for that chubby, pasty, candy-ass…”           HA!!
Google     La Blogotheque     and go to his YouTube channel.  You can find some excellent, little-known music….
I bring a book almost everywhere I go because…
“Any port in a storm.”
“Hear the one about the eighty-year-old with the young wife?
His friend says, `Isn`t that bad for the heart?`
The old man says, `Eh, if she dies, she dies.` “
Jack Greenwald of Montreal, Quebec
as quoted by Paul Theroux in The Pillars of Hercules
Saturday 8/4/12  2:15am
Leaving for another Shizuoka Prefecture ocean adventure.  A beautiful morning….
Of course, NO TRAFFIC at this ridiculous hour of the morning.  Arrived at the ocean by 6:30am
after a gorgeous drive through the mountains.
Usamikannonji Temple
Heda Beach, NICE….
Okay, left this morning at 2:15 fucking AM.  It is now 4:15pm as I finally arrive in a quiet corner of Numazu called Awashima Town, where we stayed before.
I drove ALL THE WAY AROUND THE PENINSULA….IT IS BIG….A LOT bigger than I thought.  14 hours of spectacular driving.  I really don`t know how I do it…
And NOW Chiharu doesn`t feel well, carsick perhaps.  I wore her out.  I am an asshole of a husband.  I can`t help it.  I have a BOUNDLESS CURIOSITY.
Alright, she`s okay now…..We went to Izunokuni Fireworks festival.  We were so busy driving around today, we forgot to eat dinner so we`re having a supermarket
chicken and rice dinner under a street lamp on a side street.  BEST FIREWORKS SHOW EVER!  UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!  ART WITH EXPLOSIVES!!
Next time, I think I want us to stay in Dogoshima near those lovely rock and tree islands….
10:30pm….GOODNIGHT …..I can`t take anymore; sheer EXHAUSTION….
Only I could drive 18 hours in ONE DAY….
8/5/12  Relaxing Sunday……….`Sunday Smile`…….up at 6am, soaking up the moods of morning and evening…
We went to Mihama Swimming Beach in Heda, the place I first noticed yesterday.  Excellent, like a little fish hook of land in a sheltered bay.  Trees and shade
for Chiharu, then sand and the ocean coming into a lagoon.  Beautiful blue-green water with a perfect temperature.  You just can`t go wrong.  Then we rented
a rowboat and I paddled us around the bay.
After the beach, I dropped the little lady off at the minshuku so she could relax for a little bit.  I don`t want to make her feel sick like yesterday.  Then I went to
a different, closer beach for a sunset swim.  Now, we are taking a twilight walk.  Later tonight, I will put on my own fireworks show, although I`M SURE it won`t
match up to last night`s outrageous show.  It`s our last night here tonight–gotta enjoy it, beer and skateboarding and explosives.  Back to the mountains tomorrow,
LANDLOCKED, no ocean, like a caged animal.  All I miss up there is my guitar.
As I was skateboarding to the store for beer.  There was a misty light rain….a HOT RAIN.  Talk about humidity!  You like to think rain will be refreshing and cooling,
right?  WRONG.  This rain was actually HOT to the touch!  I was drinking my beer and laughing my ass off.  Crazy, just crazy…
8/6/12  Nice breakfast at the minshuku and then back to Mihama Beach in Heda to say goodbye to my lovely ocean, FOR NOW.  I`m sad to leave….very sad….
The problem with me traveling nowadays is that I feel like a caged beast living so far from the ocean in the remote mountains.  When I go somewhere, I NEVER
REST.  Not for a minute.  I am manic.  I never stop moving.  I want to experience as much as is possible, to stuff as many things as I can into the time I am given.
I am so fucking tired……
My new YouTube videos from this trip…………Picture Frame; Gaku…………….&…………….Sunday Smile……………
“The City is a cage…
and no ship exists
To take you from yourself.”
C.P. Cavafy
A Greek Poet
No one has ever described the place where I have just arrived:
this is the emotion that makes me want to travel.  It is one of the
greatest reasons to go anywhere.”
Paul Theroux
“The Pillars of Hercules”
What I SEE is different from what YOU SEE.  It is most definitely a different experience for everyone.  It is a matter
of PERCEPTION.  When I take photos, I try to capture this for you, WHAT I SEE.  Sure, I sometimes do a little
photoshop magic to enhance the pictures, but only because this is WHAT I SEE IN MY MIND.  It is the stuff of dreams.
I want to capture that vivid dream clarity that exists in my mind`s eye…electric blue, hallucinatory purple, fiery red,
neon orange, lemon-sunshine yellow, and glowing emerald-green.  I also try to harness the power of reflections and
shadows and light.  I want YOU to see this too.  I want to share it with everyone.  And I will work feverishly to accomplish
this objective by any means at my disposal, so you too can see the abundant fruit of deepest inner vision…..
THB3   8/8/12
Paul Theroux
(referring to his obsessive writing at the end of a day of traveling…)
” `I am damned,` thinks Bunny Munro in a sudden moment of self-awareness reserved for those who are soon to die.
He feels that somewhere down the line he has made a grave mistake, but this realization passes in a dreadful
heartbeat, and is gone–“
Nick Cave
“The Death of Bunny Munro”
If you let the fucking rain in Japan ruin your plans, IT WILL.
8/11/12  Ueda, Japan
I bought an ukulele…..it is NICE……more music…..
8/12/12   Obon Japanese Holiday…..
I am going for a Tokyo skateboarding adventure, alone, of course.  MY PLAN IS TO HAVE NO PLAN.
People leave Tokyo during this holiday to go somewhere else, so going there will be the exact opposite of
what so many millions of other people are doing…….PERFECT.
And so it begins…
8/12/12  10:30am    The local train to Karuizawa is PACKED.  Then I caught the 11am bullet train to Tokyo….NOT packed.
HA!  My timing is perfect, as usual.  I easily found a seat and the beer cart came along 2 seconds later so, naturally, I
ordered an Asahi Super Dry.  ON THE WAY, BABY!….just me and my skateboard and my camera….and my FREEDOM….
12:10pm    Arrival at Tokyo Station.  Not nearly as crazy as usual.  Jumped on the green Yamanote Circle Line straight to
Harajuku and the Puma Store.  My shoes have a hole in them from hundreds of miles of skateboarding.  Time for a new pair.
Bought some cool shoes from a cute little skateboard chick named, Minako.
A girl`s black, lacy stockings in Harajuku say `BAD ANGEL`.  A place like this is a pervert`s wet dream fantasyland…..
meaning MINE….HA!
The only black dudes you see in Japan are in Tokyo (87% anyway)
In Harujuku, you also often see these pathetic, fat, white chicks trying in vain to be Manga characters or going for the
baby-doll look.  IT JUST DOESN`T WORK unless you`re a cute, spritely little Japanese girl.  It IS funny though….
BOARDER`S FACT (stupid name, great store) in Shibuya has EVERYTHING I need for skateboarding; boards, bearings,
wheels…..the WHOLE BIT….
Got a room at my favorite Hotel Unizo, room 414…
Sbarro Pizza in Shibuya at 2:30pm.  Goddamn!  It reminds me of NYC pizza…the closest thing you`re gonna get here, anyway…
Relaxed and cooled off for awhile in my hotel room because it is FUCKING HOT outside….humid as hell…
4:45pm….time for MEXICAN FOOD, you know it, and a long evening skateboard ride afterwards…
On my way to Harajuku for dinner, one of those dickhead Jap Keystone Cops with the white Mickey Mouse gloves said something
about my skateboarding, specifically, NOT to do it.  Yeah, right.  Gimme a break, fuckface, that`ll NEVER happen!  I jumped off
for 10 seconds, turned the corner, and rode off again FULL SPEED down the hill through Yoyogi Park>>>>>>>
Ahhhh, Fonda de la Madrugada….my savory oasis of Mexican delights and delicacies.  I`m about to eat a slice of heaven…
Well, SOMEHOW, I managed to skateboard a LONG WAY…..all the way to Rainbow Bridge, in fact, full of tequila and Mexican Food.
It`s not easy to find the harbor either in this inward-looking labyrinth of a city.  I DID find it though.  It wasn`t that great…the bridge
I mean.  But the ride, on the other hand, THAT was excellent….
After the bridge, I took a train to Shinjuku.  I`m walking through the Kabukicho Pussy Factory and I`m laughing my ass off.  It really is
hysterical how the West African dudes (so many from Ghana) try to hustle you.  I`ve had a smart-ass witty comment for every one of `em.
This one dude tries to talk me into going into a touchy-feely whore bar, and I say, “Thanks man, but I`ve been skating all day.  The last
thing I need is to go into some pussy bar.  I`m sweating like an animal, I STINK, man.”
He says, “You don`t stink, brother.”
And I reply, “Well, WE ain`t gonna be getting up close and personal, bro.”
He laughs and then his response was priceless; “Listen, I know what my bitches want.  I got a hot Brazilian girl who`s looking for a dude
just like you.”
I say, “Now, come on, don`t blow sunshine up my ass…you and I BOTH KNOW what she`s looking for….ANYBODY WILLING TO BUY.
Find another mark, Jack, I ain`t buying.  Thanks anyway.  You`re awfully convincing though.  Keep up the good work…”
I said all that real fast and made my escape while he was still processing my barrage of words.
These Japanese, wanna-be rappers have some FUNNY fucking stereotypical MC names such as: CHOPSTIK, LARGE RICE, SAKE MAN,
& YELLOW BADMAN……..I am NOT kidding…..
I saw a sign that said “JAPANESE ONLY”      HA!!  Fucking racists….
I was tempted to go in anyway just to spite them; wearing my sweaty, stinky wifebeater shirt and with my red tomato face and crazed,
bloodshot eyes and maniacal mop of blonde-brown hair and a beard and a skateboard.  HA!  Maybe the Yakuza would`ve slashed my
Achilles tendons.  I guess I`ll never know for sure.  I guess some things are better left alone…
Just talked to a really nice guy from Nigeria, nicknamed Jojo.  A cool cat, he was–didn`t even try to talk me into anything.  We just talked
some funny shit for awhile, especially after I showed him my “JAPANESE ONLY” photo.  We laughed our asses off.  I hope to see him
again down the road…
9:45pm   Skateboarding back towards Shibuya now…
Another asshole cop in Harajuku tried to break my downhill pace on a beautiful run on an empty street, but this was the 3rd time today,
so I just WASN`T HAVIN` IT!    This time, I just went around him (he was on foot) and kept riding full speed.  I acted like he was invisible.
He was yelling but I completely ignored him, cackling like a maniac…..I was GONE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Is skateboarding illegal in Tokyo?  (Not that I`d CARE).  I see Japanese dudes all the time on skateboards.  Oh, I know.  They`re RACISTS!
Went back to my room for a quick shower because I REEK.  I left the air-conditioner on all day, so it`s like a meat locker in here….PERFECT…
SCRAMBLE Cafe and Bar at midnight is OFF THE HOOK!  Talked to a cool skateboard dude named Kenji.  Hot babes all around.  After that,
I walked around a little more and realized I was finally OUT of energy.  Back to the hotel by 12:45 and showered again and sleeping by 2am or so,
(after a goodnight beer, of course…)
8/13/12    EXHAUSTED   (headache, legs and feet hurt)  My old bones are ACHING!
Got up at 10:30am and checked out by 11:00.  Had a slice of pizza again at Sbarro for breakfast and grabbed a Subway sandwich to take out for
a picnic in Tokyo Palace Imperial Gardens, where I believe the Emperor once lived.  Talked to some nice Indonesian kids, 2 guys and 2 girls, the
girls wearing burqas and all, but they were REALLY nice people…..”Can`t we all just get along?”
The Yamanote Line train is SO PRECISE.  Every two minutes.  The conductors wear 2 WATCHES.  Amazing…
Maruzen Bookstore…..bought 5 books.  I can`t take any more.  I`m outta here on a 2:24 train.
Home by 4:20pm.  Goodnight everyone….
MY new YouTube video from this trip…….The Biggest City in the World…..
Google    Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds    and watch the first YouTube result,Red Right Hand.  It is 5:32 in length and it is excellent.
Every single minute working at a mundane job is a little scoop of death served ice-cold….
**(turns out this one was a bit prescient.  I end up getting a job at a Japanese restaurant one month from now, you guessed it… serving beer and ICE CREAM!)**
“What`s green and smells like bacon?
Kermit`s finger.”        HA!
“Bunny tilts his head away and he opens his eyes for a fraction of a second and sees Penny Charade, the twelve-year-old girl he met at Butlins when he was a boy,
dressed in her yellow polka-dot bikini, her long wet hair hanging down, sitting on the other side of the swimming pool, her caramel-coloured legs moving the surface
of the water.  She smiles at Bunny with her violet eyes.  `I just found this world a hard place to be good in,` says Bunny, then closes his eyes and, with an expiration
of breath, goes still.”
Nick Cave
“The Death of Bunny Munro”
This whole Japanese situation has become a cruel circus sideshow.  Let`s face it; I am AMERICAN.
I`m afraid this cultural bridge is just simply too big for me to cross…
“Kyle, this is the way the world works!  If you wanna make some quality friends, you gotta wade through all the dicks first!”
Eric Cartman
“South Park”
(“You Have 0 Facebook Friends”)
“Never underestimate the importance of war.  War is the purest, most vivid expression of the human soul.”         (`cause humans are mean….)
Paul Auster
(I`d like to believe otherwise, I`d LIKE to disagree with this.  I`d like to see us all picnicking together in fields of green
amongst flowing rivers and fluttering butterflies under a golden, optimistic sun–but that`s NOT QUITE the way things are happening, IS IT?)
I`m afraid this story has no possible happy ending….
“Impossible to doubt the world:
it can be seen
And because it is irrevocable
It cannot be understood,
and I believe that fact is lethal.”
George Oppen
“And I gave my heart to know wisdom,
and to know madness and folly…”
Ecclesiastes (The Bible….a book FULL of good quotes…)
I had just finished teaching some English classes in Ueda.
After WAY too much rain and thunder and lightning, the local train is stalled for an unspecified span of time.  Apparently,
lightning struck the tracks somewhere…
Well, I said FUCK IT, find another way back to Miyota.  A taxi is an option, noooooo, 12,000¥ (bullshit!).  That`s like $140.00.
Crazy expensive.  I could just sleep at my office.  No, don`t wanna do that tonight.  So, I took the bullet train to Sakudaira in
Saku City which was only 1240¥ and then I caught a taxi (2200¥) home, for a total cost of 3440¥.  Saved like 9000¥….
I say good fucking job to me.  That`s what you call thinking outside the box.  Talked to a nice chubby Japanese girl who lives
in Miyota named Iyane.  She was born in England so she speaks excellent English.  My Japanese was pretty damn good
tonight too, in the face of this small crisis, so cheers to me.  I guess I am learning a little of this gibberish after all…..
YouTube        Lykke Li and El Perro Del Mar   Dance Dance Dance   La Blogotheque  (She plays the HELL out of that kazoo)
                     St. Vincent with Andrew Bird–Black Rainbow
                     Andrew Bird Spare-Ohs A Take Away Show
                     Lianne LaHavas–No Room for Doubt   A Take Away Show
                     Sexy Pole Dance Girls in NYC Subway  3:54 in length and uploaded by MikeVincent  (only in NYC, baby…)
Henry Rollins–Occupants (w/Thurston Moore)  50:42 in length….
After watching this video, I have a new appreciation for Henry Rollins.  He is smart.
He is MANIC.  And I understand that.
Sometimes, people don`t even recognize genius when it`s right under
their noses the whole time….
I want to write a book, a memoir of sorts, maybe 200 to 300 pages.  I want to call it SQUIDLIPS.
Should be comical, yet touching and informative.  About my time in Japan and the strange and
tragic situation in which I find myself.  (teaching English: `Scrap the defectives,` becomes, `scrape the defecate.`
crazy food like steamed whale bunghole and pickled jellyfish cunt.  Anything and EVERYTHING I`ve experienced….sure to be a BESTSELLER!
Where to begin?  How does one start to tell a story of what now seems like a strange dream I once had?
“What did you expect–golden butterflies hovering in a rosy mist?”
Raymond Chandler
4 HUGE pools at Tomi Chuo park.  I was ALL ALONE for 30 minutes—UNPRECEDENTED!  I was like a child alone at Disneyland,
running around laughing and jumping from pool to pool and going down the waterslide.  A 43-year-old child.  2 or 3 people showed up later,
but somehow, by that time, I didn`t mind.  There`s more than enough space.  SOME THINGS, I GUESS, ARE MEANT JUST FOR ME….
“There is pleasure in the pathless woods
There is rapture on the lonely shore
There is society where none intrudes
By the deep sea, and music in its roar
I love not man the less, but Nature more.”
Lord Byron
There is no trap so deadly as the trap you set for yourself.”
Raymond Chandler
“The Long Goodbye”
You should see these Japanese men shoveling food into their mouths with chopsticks.  It is UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE.
I seriously don`t think they enjoy their food at all!  They don`t even chew, they just swallow the food whole like a seagull
choking down a small fish.  How can you ENJOY food in 4 goddamned minutes?!?  That`s like MILITARY style, you know,
you gotta eat FAST, before the next ROCKET ATTACK>>>>>>>>>
Like a bad dream I can`t wake up from….
“I shit in your purse and fucked your dog…..I`M OUTTA HERE….”
From that funny old joke I THINK I told ya….
If a guitar song is old enough, it almost becomes `new` or `independent` because it is rarely remembered anymore.
So, I`ve been researching old, obscure ones…
“To say goodbye is to die a little.”
A French saying
Chiharu`s family actually thinks I`m nervous about the interview.  No, no, no….not at all…..I`m scared to death
that I`ll actually GET THE JOB…
Sonmin Shokudo Restaurant in Karuizawa at Hoshino Resort….
A potential weekend job.  NEVER in my life have I cared LESS about a job interview.
In fact, I prayed that I DIDN`T get the job…..(but, incredibly, after an interview IN JAPANESE, I did…)
DAMNIT!!…. if only I wasn`t so charming!
referring to his SUPERIOR 99.1% pure blue crystal meth when talking to some inferior competitors…
`Walter White`  “It`s like some elementary school T-ball team versus….the New York Yankees.  You`re some tepid,
                       substandard cola drink, and I`m ….Classic Coke.”
 drug dealer     “Why should I work with you?  Why not just kill you and dump your body out here in the desert?”
Walter             “Do you really wanna live in a world without Coca Cola?”
(w/o missing
 a beat…)
“Breaking Bad”
The coolest TV moment EVER!  (you just HAVE to see it… WATCH THIS SERIES…)
Another episode of Japanese BAD ENGLISH……
Instead of Save the Trees, the t-shirt says “SAVE THE TREE”  (as if there is only one)
Wednesday 8/29/04   Matsumoto Business Trip again at the Buena Vista Hotel, room 934.
Nothing exciting happened but I did have a nice evening walk to the riverside where there
are many OLD buildings and over to Matsumoto-jo Castle.  It is all lit up at night and surrounded
by a wall and a moat.  I saw swans on the still water shining in the moonlight, glowing white,
and it was quiet and I was alone in a strange land, far away from anything I`ve ever known…..
The thing that I LOVE about hotels, especially nice ones, is that having a room feels like it`s
YOUR house, ALL YOURS, just for one or two nights, but a magical and profound feeling, nonetheless….
Friday 8/31/12   FULL MOON
A strange night, indeed…
First, I saw my student, Naoshi, by Ueda Station.  Then I was talking to Paul and Julie, my Canadian friends
from another English school and then that guy, `Tosh`, showed up, the one I met before at Shigeno Station.
Turns out his full name is Toshiyuki Kato.  He informed me that the train was indefinitely delayed due to an
accident at Shinano-Kokubunji Station (suicide, drunken idiot, murder, horseplay, WHO KNOWS??)  Whatever.
Tosh lived in America for like 26 years in LA, specifically in Pasadena.  His English is perfect, with an LA
accent.  I decided to skip waiting around for the train and we went to have a late dinner and a talk.  And talk
we did, while drinking beer, until 3am!  It was probably just drunken jibber jabber but he offered me a job, 2
years from now, managing a night club on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, CA.  Full medical coverage for Chiharu.
Something to do with a soon-to-be highly publicized place associated with Formula One Racing and the
rich jet setters that surround it.  Like I said, sounds pretty sketchy and fantastical, but it`s fun to dream.  He
DOES have a business out there.  How else could he maintain owning a house in LA and living here.  Who
knows?  This could be a golden opportunity in disguise.  Perchance to dream.  Time will reveal all…..
a note from Chiharu in my book in her handwriting….
“I love you more than anything…..Chiharu…..”
I guess you could say that I`ve been published 3 times now: In a Japanese newsletter for my English School…HA!  (Better than nothing….but just BARELY>>>>>)
“You don`t change the world.
It changes you.”
Don Winslow
I will NEVER become a Japanese ROBOT WORKER.
Well, I used to have my money (DOLLARS) in an American bank with a normal name, CHASE MANHATTAN.
Now I have YEN in a bank called SHINKIN…..HA!!  Instead of signatures, they use an ink stamp with my kanji name…..富夢
any time could be the LAST time…
“Eat well,
keep fit,
die anyway.”
More Japanese BAD ENGLISH….
a sign:  “KARUIZAWA KEEP CREAN CAMPAIGN”    (I`m guessing they meant CLEAN)
At this restaurant, we have MELON soda and MERLOT wine….when THEY say it, it sounds EXACTLY the same…
I`d also like to say this to the Japanese; It`s NOT a deli if you don`t have SANDWICHES!
A great headstone epitaph:  “He didn`t die,
                                          He busted out of the game.”
Sonmin Shokudo Restaurant
These little fuckers have SO MANY different-shaped dishes of all sizes
that it`s like doing a fucking Rubik`s Cube for the dishwasher.  What a goddamned nightmare!
Always remember Katai-san, the coolest old guy that I ever met in Miyota…
“Ordinary men avoid trouble;
extraordinary men turn it to their advantage.”
“Boardwalk Empire”
The FIRST TIME someone has asked ME for information in Japan in two years.  A little old lady, maybe slightly under 5 feet tall, asked me, IN JAPANESE mind you,
where the train was going.  I told her Nagano City and then she asked if it stopped in Shigeno and I told her it did–ALL IN JAPANESE.  Frankly, I can`t BELIEVE
I understood!  Usually these old folks don`t even move their lips when they talk and it is just unintelligible.  I was impressed with my own improved language skills…
“…sublime persistence of stupidity…”
Gustave Flaubert
(pretty much describes the world we live in….today and always….)
9/29/12  Miyota
A slice of silver moonlight like a knife blade between the houses….
When I was young, I was too busy getting laid or fucked up to think about the future.
Now that I`m older, I`m too tired (of everything) to worry about what I SHOULDhave done in the past…
When I was young, I was sure that I`d live forever;
now that I`m older, I`m sure that I WON`T…..
Karuizawa restaurant……..
Beer festival today….this should be amusing….drunken Japanese stumbling around in the hot sun…..
1st thing today, I took the company car up to the hot springs to get some water…..interesting, but
not worth going into details….
Later, met John Roos, the American Ambassador to Japan
Bringing a little dose of CA style and a little bit of NYC to a Japanese restaurant in the remote mountains…
BELIEVE ME, it`s fucking FUNNY….
If nothing else, this job is good for comedy…
Sunny morning ——Typhoon afternoon…..
So, a crazy white guy is walking through a goddamned typhoon in the pouring rain, cackling and singing like a madman.  He`s just
drinking a beer, smoking a cigarette and trying to hold on to his umbrella in the howling devil-wind, just minding his own business,
really.  A car drives by at high speed through a puddle and DRENCHES him.  What does the man do?  He just laughs harder and
continues on his way…
I JUST made the train, perfect timing; maybe the gods are on my side after all….
Even in Japan, I`m a freak magnet.  The ONE person who speaks English is a crazy bitch named Mayumi….LOONEY TUNES!
She`s ALWAYS talking about Edgar Allan Poe for some unknown reason and she obviously doesn`t know the first thing about him…
I told you these little fuckers couldn`t drive.  A man was hit by a car the other night here in Miyota as he was walking home from a
restaurant.  Some scumbag plowed into him on these shitty, skinny little streets and dragged his body under the car for like a quarter
mile through the darkness, leaving a  L O N G  bloody smear of innards and guts for the morning ravens.  Terrible.  I TOLD YOU, the
most dangerous thing on earth is an old, half-blind Japanese behind the wheel of a truck of ANY CAR in the dark.  MORE DANGEROUS THAN WAR.
Hit and RUN, no less….(and of course, these Keystone Cops will NEVER FIND him/her)….
“Try anything twice was my motto.”
Paul Theroux
“It is necessary to be completely modern.”
Arthur Rimbaud
Regarding the “Shifta” bandits in Eastern Africa (Kenya, Somalia border area…)
” `They do not want your life, bwana (old man), they want your shoes.`
What is your life to them?  It is nothing.  But your shoes–ah, they are a different matter.  They
are worth something, much more than your watch (they had the sun) or your pen (they were illiterate)
or your bag (they had nothing to put in it).  These were men who needed footwear for they were
forever walking.”
Paul Theroux
“Dark Star Safari”
All I really WANT to do is write my stories, take my photos, and sing my songs….
Is that SO WRONG?!?
I now have an acoustic guitar, an electric guitar and an ukulele and a harmonica.  I`ve been
practicing every day and I`m a thousand times better than I was 2 years ago.  Still not `great,`
but WAY better….
“…no risk to the sort of traveler I was: a dusty, note-taking fugitive with a small bag,
an evasive manner, and no time constraints.”
Paul Theroux
Did you know the Japanese call a buffet, “VIKING STYLE?”  Fucking CLASSIC!!
10/5/12  Ueda, Japan
Every single Japanese person that walks by STARES at me as I peacefully eat my pizza on a bench.
WHAT?!?  You`ve never seen a skinny, white guy stuff down a WHOLE pizza before?!?
Japanese just DON`T KNOW what sausage IS!  Not on pizza, with breakfast, ANYTHING!
Their version of `sausage` is just a crappy little hot dog…
What I`m TRYING to say here is that the `sausage` pizza I ordered was just a pizza with little fucking
hot dogs on it! I mean, what the hell is that?!?  Don`t they know ANYTHING about the proper ground
Italian sausage that I wanted and hoped for…?
NO, they do NOT.
They know plenty about noodles and fish and rice though……oh yes, PLENTY….
and how to stuff it down in 4 minutes with nothing but two little sticks and the ability to NOT CHEW….
Where do all these little clones come from in this damned restaurant?!?  Holy fucking shit!  Bus tours, walking tours,
27 ANCIENT, old people just waltzed in here taking pictures of anything and everything.  “Hey, I think I`ll get together with 32
of my closest friends for lunch!”  I barely know 32 people!  I don`t think I`ve EVER eaten with more than 6 people…!
The KEY to getting out of work ON TIME is to ALWAYS have a convenient LIE prepared….
Seeing Iron Man 2 translated into Japanese makes it a VERY BAD MOVIE…
“Jimi Hendrix didn`t die.  God just wanted guitar lessons.”
A random clever YouTube comment….
“The years that the locust hath eaten…”
Joel 2:25
You can`t TRAP a WILD ANIMAL and change its fundamental nature;
You can`t turn a lion into a kitten.
You can`t turn a wolf into a puppy.
You can`t turn a crocodile into a gecko.
That is ME in Japan……..UNCHANGEABLE…….
You Know You`re in Malawi When
1) The first seven shops you pass are coffin makers` shops.
2) An old man on the road is wearing a women`s fur-trimmed pink housecoat from the 1950s.
3) The rear rack of a bike is stacked with 10 uncured cow hides.
4) A roadblock is a bamboo pole across two barrels, and the official manning it is wearing a t-shirt lettered Winnipeg Blue Bombers.
5) Two policemen stop your minibus for no good reason and at gunpoint force the 14 passengers to pile out in the dark.
6) The smooth, tarred road abruptly becomes a rutted muddy track that is barely passable.
7) People start sentences with, `But we are suffering, sir.`
8) People say, apropos of nothing, `The day the old woman disappears is when the hyena shits gray hair.`
9) On the day the Minister of Finance announces his national austerity plan, it is revealed that 38 Mercedes-Benzes have just been ordered from Germany.”
Paul Theroux
“Dark Star Safari”
“The City of Angels
called to a mocking prayer
Answers enigmatic, appalling, or absent
The Sunday Christian and Saturday Jew sees
only himself in the good, with God in the details
and the devil nowhere to be found
Prayers excuse their lot, useful only for blame
like a farmer cursing the drought, but
these prayers are poorly cared for:
reaped too soon, rarely sowed and
never rotated, the soil is barren
Wish fulfillment for the entitled manifest destiny,
prayer is a misnomer, the id of the user`s faith,
Like the junkie mother gazing
bleary-eyed at her child who wonders mutely
`Why is it I`m always the one being used?`
As our foul weather requests ascend and
dissipate fermenting into vitriolic clouds,
water and people transplanted to this desert
like parking spaces now descend with the vulgarity
of locusts to chide, reave, and masticate originality
into ironic derivatives, beat morphing to hip,
trailblazing to repaving, Haggis` not so subtle organic
notion of colonic LAites purposely colliding in
small intestinal quarters,
Jack`s right, this town needs an enema.”
Todd Schultz
(absolutely in my top three of LA poems EVER, along with
Charles Bukowski`s Imbecile Night &
My own Let the Jackals Come For Me, I Will Already Be Gone, which I am quite pleased with…)
Just because something is “ON SALE”
doesn`t mean you HAVE to buy it.
They don`t have a chance; maybe one in a million…..
The kids in Japan are bred for conformity from the start.  Cute little sailor uniforms when
they`re tiny, little colored hats and retard helmets.  They get military-looking uniforms when
they`re older, or maybe business suits, depending on the school.  The girls get sexy, Catholic
school girl type uniforms (which I can`t say bothers me), teaching them to be cute and to
find a husband so they can breed and then stay home and be a good, obedient housewife.
They get breakfast at 7am, lunch at noon, dinner at 6pm; perfect for a robot worker life of
dreary factory labor.  There is a saying here, “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.”
But not that many nails are sticking out….not many at all….
I was at Shigeno Station after leaving Nissin-Kogyo factory.  No one had showed up (I don`t think
any of these people really want to learn English, any more than I want to learn Japanese).
Anyway, I was listening to Neil Diamond`s Kentucky Woman when the train pulled up and I SAW
the Japanese version of Neil Diamond!  Same forehead, same hair, eyebrows and all.  He was only
lacking the flashy outfit and the talent.  The resemblance was uncanny….
If I stay in Japan, I`m afraid I will have lived the first half of my life IN THE MOMENT AND IN THE
THICK OF IT, and the second half….in my mind and the world of memory….
….or maybe not….
Oh bullshit, I`m having a great time…
I wouldn`t ever want to be anyone else, to live anyone else`s life.  As mad and crazy as my life has
been, I wouldn`t change a thing, for it has made me the man that I am.  It`s a really nice feeling to
be satisfied with your own life–with WHO YOU ARE…
I will NOT apologize…
…but I will say thank you…
“Last time I saw a mouth like THAT, it had a hook in it!”
I asked Chiharu, “What are your hobbies nowadays, sweetheart?”
and she replied, “You.”
and then my heart melted…
Looking at some of these mirthless robots, I think to myself about an imaginary dialogue, delivered in machine-gun rapid fire speech….
HA!  I`ve done more in ONE WEEK than you could possibly do in 10 lifetimes!
(a look of shock)
Have you ever been a hippie?
Been a surfer?
Had a skateboard?
Lived on the Strand?
(sing) I was so WASTED, I was WASTED…. You`re DONE….
based on the Black Flag punk song lyrics to “Wasted”
“Are you stalking me?  I hope so, `cause that would be super…”
10/13 and 10/14   2012
Weekend Working Nightmare (Saturday and Sunday every weekend lately…)
Shit, I even DREAMED of working in that fucking restaurant, so instead of working
16 hours, it`s like working 48 hours straight!
There`s PUDDIN`…..(they call it “purin” and it`s a stinky custard, NOT a pudding…)
On top of all the other myriad mispronunciations, when they say PARFAIT it sounds like “puffy”….
I`m a VERY busy man; it`s all I can do to find time for this whole “work” thing….
AAARRRGGGGHHH!!  Working at this cursed Jap restaurant….IT`S A CRIME TO MURDER YOUR TIME THIS WAY…
Random comment from a slightly drunken old man at the restaurant:  He said to me, with a tinge of bitterness,
“America is the master of Japan.”
With a smile, I replied, “If you say so…”  and then walked away.  He was right, of course.
He was just about the age where it`s entirely possible that his dad was dropping bombs on our sleeping soldiers
at Pearl Harbor, so he can just piss off…..
Sorry, I don`t even TRY to speak Japanese before 8am….
Just because something is FREE
doesn`t mean you HAVE to take it.
Fucking BARGAIN HUNTERS over here!!
Some of `em would buy a steaming piece of dogshit if it was on sale…..!
I`m afraid that less and less people nowadays have the mental capacity to TRULY appreciate Art and Literature.  Most are too
busy getting their latest USELESS information from the internet or they`re at the shopping mall, staring slack-jawed and transfixed
by the latest window displays at Abercrombie and fucking Fitch…
I weep for the future….
“We buy what we don`t need and throw away everything that`s useful….”
Paul Theroux
“The Mosquito Coast”
Setting up for a party (another BUS tour!) at this damned restaurant.  SO MANY little goddamned dishes, I have this
overwhelming urge to just violently SMASH everything and walk out FOREVER…
Seriously.  I just wanna SMASH EVERYTHING!  I`M LOSING IT!
Oh yeah, THIS is the tedious stuff that dreams are made of….
The ONLY good thing about this job is break time ALONE by the river…
I tell ya, these Japanese are just little worker bees, only thinking about getting the honey (¥)
HA!  ANOTHER poop test, another poop kit.  These little bastards are OBSESSED with SHIT.  What the fuck?!?
I hate to think about it, but this is like a law, so that means that every restaurant you go to in Japan, the waiters
have been digging around in their own crap in the toilet bowl with a tiny spoon.  Sure, they washed their hands since,
but STILL….  NASTY motherfuckers!  Life is too short to be sifting through my own stool with a tiny spoon.  OH,
You should provide a BIGGER pooper scooper or perhaps some tongs….!  Scumbags…and you THINK you`re cleaner than us….
“I`ve got chunks of guys like you in my STOOL!”
Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra
“Saturday Night Live”
A funny one word comment from one of my English students about why business is down for his company:
10/25/12  Autumn Harvest  (Just before the rumored end of the world…)
You wanna picture something funny?  Picture ME, with my long, blonde hair and a beard, wearing Levi`s and a flannel shirt in a small
mountain town in Japan.  Now picture me standing alone in the middle of a rice field singing and playing Johnny Cash`s Delia`s Gone
on my guitar.  Now envision the faces of the old farmers as they pass by…..OH YEAH, baby….it is PRICELESS…
In AWE, like an old, pasty-white, fat man in a room full of nubile, naked, lesbian nymphs….
“Habit is a great deadener…”
Samuel Beckett
I read this quote recently, way AFTER coming up with my old classic, ROUTINE, THE SLOW AND SILENT KILLER…
I always made fun of i-Pods, and now, aside from Chiharu, my i-Pod and my guitar are my best friends is Japan…
I have completely withdrawn into my own inner world of dreams….
“Burning in Water;
Drowning in Flame”
Charles Bukowski
If there`s something worth doing, it`s worth doing right.
If it`s NOT worth doing, it`s worth doing WRONG….
A haiku dreamed at the 7-11 looking at mask faces with soulless eyes….
See the robots run
devoid of passion for LIFE
I am SO alone
And I would rather be alone than in the company of those deadbeats….
Shit.  Winter is coming.  I fucking HATE winter…..HIBERNATION TIME….
eventually…..EVERYTHING ENDS.
Most of my poems have been written OUTSIDE.  In fact, most everything I`ve written
has been, at least CONCEIVED OF….OUTSIDE…..
The other morning, I was outside having my coffee when I heard a dry, clattering sound, which
I thought was the sound of birds in the trees.  I was wrong.  Now as you know, LA doesn`t really
have a distinct autumn season, so this was new to me.  A tree was dropping ALL of her leaves
AT ONCE, as if it was a conscious decision, like a woman shedding her clothes.  I`ve never
seen anything like it….
“How can any marriage work?  Everyone had their own problems–who was normal?  If the two people
remained themselves, with separate ambitions, there was strife.  Submission was possible in the short
term.  But if one or the other surrendered to become absorbed in the other`s life, then it was the annihilation
of a human soul, something like slavery or an early death, and resentment was inevitable.  Love was
not enough, sexual desire didn`t last, you had to make your own life.”
Paul Theroux
“The Gateway of India”
from “The Elephanta Suite”
(I am trying my best to prove this wrong.  That somehow, it CAN work…)
“April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain…”
T.S. Eliot
“The Waste Land”
Saturday  11/17/12  9:30am
This is the kind of thing that goes through my twisted mind before working at that fucking Karuizawa restaurant job.
A bus driver stopped his empty bus and left it running in front of 7-11 while he went inside.  I was immediately seized
with an overwhelming urge to steal it and go for a mad, insane joyride and drive it with a GIANT CRASH through the
front window of the restaurant screaming.  When the massive dust cloud settled, I would get out and walk away, saying,
“HA!!  NOW I DON`T HAVE TO WORK TODAY!!”  But then I realized that I would most definitely end up in a Japanese
prison cell.  So, in the end, I didn`t do it.
Well, now it`s time to GO LIVE THE DREAM…!
even when I`m in my own personal hell.  I meet the devil himself, I shake his hand and I say, “Sir, thanks for the good times.”
Then I roundhouse kick him in the face like Chuck fucking Norris.
No matter what, I`m gonna do AND say what makes me laugh, even if it seems a little rude:
For example, yelling, “IRRASHAIMASE!” in a loud, sarcastic, radio-announcer`s voice at customers coming into my bar…
because it makes ME laugh, nothing more….
Only 3 days left to go in this dump…..IT`S A CELEBRATION, BITCHES!!!
“Where are the feasts
we were promised?
Where is the wine–the new wine?
Dying on the vine…”
Jim Morrison
“…I always sense the future, the antithesis of everything is always before my eyes.  I have never seen a child
without thinking that it would grow old, nor a cradle without thinking of a grave.  The sight of a naked woman
makes me imagine her skeleton.”
Gustave Flaubert
(in a letter to Louise Colet in 1846)
Xmas in Japan….as soulless as piece of shit frozen on a lonely country road…
…ah, but I always have faith in the power of BEER….
To die in a strange land…perhaps, it is appropriate for one like me;
to die without enchiladas and tacos….Well, THAT is another story….
“The end of life is bitter.
One must die lovable (if one can).”
Joseph Joubert (1814)
You think it will never happen to you, that you are the only person in the world to whom none of these things
will ever happen, and then, one by one, they all begin to happen to you, in the same way they happen to everyone
Your bare feet on the cold floor as you climb out of bed and walk to the window.  You are six years old.  Outside,
snow is falling, and the branches of trees in the backyard are turning white.
Speak now before it is too late, and then hope to go on speaking until there is nothing more to be said.  Time is 
running out, after all.  Perhaps it is just as well to put aside your stories for now and try to examine what it has
felt like to live inside this body from the first day you can remember being alive until this one.  A catalogue of 
sensory data.  What one might call a phenomenology of breathing.
You are ten years old, and the midsummer air is warm, oppressively warm, so humid and uncomfortable that even
as you sit in the shade of trees in the backyard, sweat is gathering on your forehead.
It is an incontestable fact that you are no longer young.  One month from today, you will be turning sixty-four, and
although that is not excessively old, not what anyone would consider to be an advanced old age, you cannot stop
yourself from thinking about all the others who never managed to get as far as you have.  This is one example of 
the various things that could never happen, but which, in fact, have happened.
The inventory of your scars, in particular the ones on your face, which are visible to you each morning when you 
look into the bathroom mirror to shave or comb your hair.  You seldom think about them, but whenever you do,
you understand that they are marks of life, that the assorted jagged lines etched into the skin of your face are letters
from the secret alphabet that tells the story of who you are, for each scar is the trace of a healed wound, and each
wound was caused by an unexpected collision with the world–that is to say, an accident, or something that need 
not have happened, since by definition an accident is something that need not happen.  Contingent facts as opposed
to necessary facts, and the realization as you look in the mirror this morning that all life is contingent, except for the
one necessary fact that sooner or later it will all come to an end.
*          *           *
A door has closed.  Another door has opened.
You have entered the winter of your life.”
Paul Auster
“Winter Journal”
Well, we are up to the present day.  As I sit here, exhausted, happy, smug and self-satisfied with all of my hard work, the sun is sinking
low in the sky to the west behind the thinning autumn trees.  The birds are singing and another day in my life is passing, while I was engrossed in
my work, the work that I truly love.  I realize that this is really all I was meant to do.  Everything else, all other types of work, are meaningless.
I will now proofread the last 20 minutes of writing, and I will send it off to you.  And with that, I conclude 13 years of writing stuffed into
one year.  If the world doesn`t end on December 21st, 2012, I will continue sending them to you as I write them.  Life is good.
I will now step outside for a celebratory beer and a smoke.  I raise my drink to you, my friends, from far across the sea….
Thank you and good night…..TOM>>>>>>>>>>>>
Jim Morrison




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