STREET JOURNAL 87: esoterica

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we live inside the mystery without ever really KNOWING anything…

?   ?   ?

“For what struck him was the terrible restlessness of the city, its desire to overthrow itself, to smash itself to bits and burst into new forms.  The city was a fever-patient in a hospital, thrashing in its sleep, erupting in modern dreams.”

Steven Millhauser
Martin Dressler

“In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.”

Albert Camus

“Night flight to San Francisco; chase the moon across America. God, it’s been years since I was on a plane. When we hit 35,000 feet we’ll have reached the tropopause, the great belt of calm air, as close as I’ll ever get to the ozone. I dreamed we were there. The plane leapt the tropopause, the safe air, and attained the outer rim, the ozone, which was ragged and torn, patches of it threadbare as old cheesecloth, and that was frightening. But I saw something that only I could see because of my astonishing ability to see such things: Souls were rising, from the earth far below, souls of the dead, of people who had perished, from famine, from war, from the plague, and they floated up, like skydivers in reverse, limbs all akimbo, wheeling and spinning. And the souls of these departed joined hands, clasped ankles, and formed a web, a great net of souls, and the souls were three-atom oxygen molecules of the stuff of ozone, and the outer rim absorbed them and was repaired. Nothing’s lost forever. In this world, there’s a kind of painful progress. Longing for what we’ve left behind, and dreaming ahead. At least I think that’s so.”

Tony Kushner
Angels in America

“There is a place in the heart that will never be filled; a space.  And even during the best moments, and the greatest times, we will know it.”

Charles Bukowski

“The melancholy river bears us on.  When the moon comes through the trailing willow boughs, I see your face, I hear your voice and the bird singing as we pass the osier bed.  What are you whispering?  Sorrow, sorrow.  Joy, joy.  Woven together, like reeds in moonlight.”

Virginia Woolf
The String Quartet

“I can`t remember the man I wanted to be…

Once the soul was perfect, and had wings, and could soar into Heaven…

Find a way from darkness to light……remember.”

Terrence Malick
Knight of Cups
(mixed in with quotes from John Bunyan`s A Pilgrim`s Progress)


“And do this, knowing the hour,
That now it is high time for us to arise from sleep…”

Romans 13:11

“Everyone, deep in their hearts, is waiting for the end of the world to come.”

Haruki Murakami

That`s the great thing about getting older and settling down a bit…
you finally have time to catch up on all those movies, tv shows and books
that you missed while you were drunk and young and wild…

the truth can
be adjusted…

“Out of focus
Yes the picture changing
Every moment
And your destination
You don’t know it…”

Bryan Ferry
Roxy Music


In wine, truth…

“To live is to suffer; to survive is to
find some meaning in the suffering.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

“Architecture affects everybody, from the hospital where you were born, to the schools and grocery stores, markets, libraries and theaters…
every part of a person`s life is based upon an architect`s presence.”

Julius Shulman

“Architects live and die by the images that are taken of their work, as these images alone are what most people see.  For every person who visits a private house, there may be ten thousand who only view it as a photo.”

Eric Bricker
Visual Acoustics: The Modernism of Julius Shulman

“No thought is born in me that does not bear the image of death.”

Michelangelo Buonarroti

“There`s something terrible about reality, but I don`t know what it is.”

Michelangelo Antonioni

I first learned both these quotes from my friend, @democracyofobjects on Instagram

“All those years, living the life of somebody I didn`t even know…”

“You think when you reach a certain age, things will start making sense.  Then you find out you`re just as lost as you were before.  I suppose that`s what damnation is…the pieces of your life never to come together – just splashed out there…”

“No one cares about reality anymore.”

Terrence Malick
Knight of Cups (a masterpiece of a film)


Saturday 4-23-16
The National Art Center in Tokyo…


“but what is memory if not the language of feeling, a dictionary of faces and days and smells which repeat themselves like the verbs and adjectives in a speech, sneaking in behind the thing itself, into the pure present, making us sad or teaching us vicariously…”

Julio Cortazar


Everything is so fucking ridiculous…

When the end of my life is at hand, if there is one thing I will be able to say, it’s that I never failed myself on adventures, not once. When I go on a journey, I go all out…

“How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot,
The world forgetting by the world forgot,
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind,
Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned…”

Alexander Pope

“It would be absurd if we did not understand both angels and devils,
since we invented them.”

John Steinbeck
East of Eden

“Watch me
I will go to my own Sun
And if I am burned by its fire,
I will fly on scorched wings…”

Segovia Amil

“The experience of enlightenment can be brought about through many different methods.  Every religion has its proprietary way, but it can be achieved without priests and gurus simply by communing with Nature at a deep and abiding level.
To cultivate this awareness of connectedness, reflect on how all entities in the Universe are temporary.  They arise from the primordial source, exist for a time, and then dissolve back into the source.”

“Coming on to the light of day we got
Many moons that are deep at play so I
Keep an eye on the shadow smile
To see what it has to say
You and I both know
Everything must go away
What do you say

You don`t know my mind
You don`t know my kind
Dark Necessities are part of my design and
Tell the world that I`m
Falling from the sky
Dark Necessities are part of my design…”

Anthony Kiedis
(Red Hot Chili Peppers)

“prayer” by Jamie Lee

you’re down
and beat
hear this

when you have nothing left
but the mad will
to breathe
hear this

when you have gone mad
when you are crazy with loss
when the walls
talk and ask
when the streets
rumble and cry
when your name
is dust
and the money’s somewhere else
and the tap’s dripping
when the cats are wailing in the night
when your eyes won’t see
hear this
hear me

i have been there
i have seen
and i have walked through it
and i am still walking
there is
there is
is beauty
and still
so much
to come

god bless this land
that we have named it earth
and all who are in it
all sweet
all good
all fine…”

the last part, I say…it`s a nice dream, anyway…



“His own life seemed so solitary, a fragile column supporting nothing, amidst the wreckage of the years…”

Carson McCullers

“I sit and stare at a fixed point in space. This space is abstract, made up of millions of possibilities; of atoms, of light, and numbers.  The longer I stare, the more fixated I become…inevitably, the point becomes as real as the rest of me, part of my reality, my identity, my truth and my lie.  I can no longer turn back…or look away…”

John Naccarato
Quantum Dystopias no. 1
My friend @democracyofobjects on Instagram

“Are you afraid of the future?”

Werner Herzog “No, but I would be cautious of blindly stepping forward…”

From an interview from VICE for his new documentary film

Lo and Behold:  Reveries of the Connected World


“If I had the power to prevent my own birth, I should never have consented to accept existence under such ridiculous circumstances…”

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

The Idiot


“I’ll Try Anything Once”

Ten decisions shape your life,
You’ll be aware of 5 about,
7 ways to go through school,
Either you’re noticed or left out,
7 ways to get ahead,
7 reasons to drop out,
When I said ‘I can see me in your eyes’,
You said ‘I can see you in my bed’,
That’s not just friendship that’s romance too,
You like music we can dance to,

Sit me down,
Shut me up,
I’ll calm down,
And I’ll get along with you,

There is a time when we all fail,
Some people take it pretty well,
Some take it all out on themselves,
Some they just take it out on friends,
Oh everybody plays the game,
And if you don’t you’re called insane,

Don’t don’t don’t don’t it’s not safe no more,
I’ve got to see you one more time,
Soon you were born,
In 1984,

Sit me down,
Shut me up,
I’ll calm down,
And I’ll get along with you,

Everybody was well dressed,
And everybody was a mess,
6 things without fail you must do,
So that your woman loves just you,
Oh all the girls played mental games,
And all the guys were dressed the same,

Why not try it all,
If you only remember it once,
Oooh ooooooh,

Sit me down,
Shut me up,
I’ll calm down,
And I’ll get along with you

Julian Casablancas

The Strokes



You just can’t be sure that tomorrow will ever come
There are no assurances that the sun will shine,
that the rain will stop falling,
that the storm will abate
You can’t really believe in endless love,
in true freedom,
in peace and satisfaction
Perhaps they are all illusions that we create
to keep ourselves sane in a world of madness
There are no guarantees that humanity
will continue its fragile existence
It cannot be confirmed that the earth will not
spin into the sun or be split asunder by a giant asteroid
You just can’t be sure the oceans
will not rise up and drown us all
Maybe we deserve it for
our relentless stupidity
Really, we have so much and yet
there is so much of it that is wasted
You just can’t be sure if you’ll be
happy or sad, angry or glad
No one can say if you will
wake up in the morning tomorrow
For now, the rivers continue to flow and the sky
is still different shades of blue and orange and red and purple
We drift through our days in a cloud of ignorant confusion,
a certain inexplicable complacency that can’t quite be defined,
but it’s there nonetheless
You just can’t be sure if you’ll ever truly understand anything
about this life or this world we live in
I dream all these things as I walk down a rare lonely path
on the edge of the vast city called Tokyo
There is one thing we can be sure of though;
The questions will remain and it is a long difficult road ahead…

Tokyo, Japan


He awakens to the sound of an alarm
He pulls the blanket over his head
and grumbles irritably
Finally, he arises & stumbles
about his morning business
Later, he stands outside
having coffee and a cigarette
staring at a blank space in the air
as if there is nothing before him
Eventually, he makes his way to the train
and piles on with hundreds of other people,
all of whom look miserable
Everyone is looking at their phones
as if nothing else is real for them anymore
He arrives at work without enthusiasm
He drifts through the day, numb, distant…
It’s like a bad dream that doesn’t end
He wants to wake up but he can’t
This goes on and on
for what seems like an eternity
When it’s over
he rushes to the train station
much faster then when he went to work
All he looks forward to
is some quiet time to himself
A beer, a book, a movie,
anything but this grim, ordinary reality
As it grows late,
his eyes flutter and sleep calls to him
As the lights go out,
he lies there in the darkness
feeling a sense of deep sadness,
despair even…
Is this what it’s all about?
he wonders
There is no answer
He knows that tomorrow
the deadly routine will continue
The only escape is death
and he already feels dead
This is what happens
when you realize that
you’re not really free…

Tokyo, Japan
Tuesday, October 11, 2016


The moment to start living a better life is now…


Tokyo, Japan