MIDNIGHT SUGAR: STREET JOURNAL 94 by THB3

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Sure, it’s sweet, but sometimes it leaves you feeling bitter…

____________

A MIDNIGHT VISITOR

by THB3

Sometimes

she comes to me

just after midnight

She never knocks

She just boldly

walks right in

If the door happens

to be locked she

comes in the window

She glides in on

alcohol fumes

& clouds of smoke

At first she lies to me

Tells me all kinds

of pretty things

She constructs

extravagant tales full of symbolism

She tells me she loves me and everything is

going to be alright

But then suddenly with an evil glint in her black eyes

The mood changes

A heavy feeling pervades the air

Like a giant black cloak smothering out the night

Then she gets closer and whispers dark things in my ear

Prophetic things

Tales of destruction and despair

How it will end

for me &

for everyone

These stories

never have a

happy ending

But I listen

I remember

I write the words

I never see her leave

She just disappears

I wake up alone

Disheveled

Confused

Hollow

A pit of fear in my gut

Awareness

of my own mortality

The clock ticks

like footsteps toward

a black door

This dark muse

She gives me sugar

but I’m left bitter

Somehow

in these moments before dawn

I’m able to

drag myself up

and face the day

THB3

Tokyo, Japan

___________

“it is well

to feel

good

for no reason;

or

with a

limited

choice

to choose

anyhow;

or with a

little love,

not to

buckle

to hatred.

faith,

brother,

not in

the gods

but

in yourself:

don’t ask,

tell.

I tell you

such fine

music

waits

in the

shadows

of

hell.”

Charles Bukowski

“The Last Night of the Earth Poems “

____________

“there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I’m not going
to let anybody see
you.

there’s a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I pour whiskey on him and inhale

cigarette smoke

and the whores and the bartenders

and the grocery clerks

never know that

he’s

in there.

there’s a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I’m too tough for him,

I say,

stay down, do you want to mess

me up?

you want to screw up the

works?

you want to blow my book sales in

Europe?

there’s a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I’m too clever, I only let him out

at night sometimes

when everybody’s asleep.

I say, I know that you’re there,

so don’t be

sad.

then I put him back,

but he’s singing a little

in there, I haven’t quite let him

die

and we sleep together like

that

with our

secret pact

and it’s nice enough to

make a man

weep, but I don’t

weep, do

you?”

Charles Bukowski

____________

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”

e.e. cummings

____________

“Most people are not ready for death, theirs or anybody else’s. It shocks them, terrifies them. It’s like a great surprise. Hell, it should never be. I carry death in my left pocket. Sometimes I take it out and talk to it: “Hello, baby, how you doing? When you coming for me? I’ll be ready.”

What is terrible is not death but the lives people live or don’t live up until their death. Writing is when I take death out of my left pocket, throw him against the wall and catch him as he bounces back.”

Charles Bukowski

“The Captain is Out to Lunch and the Sailors Have Taken Over the Ship.”

____________

ANOTHER LIFE

by THB3

Once

many years ago

I lived in a golden land

named California

Los Angeles

to be exact

a place

loved and hated

by many

It was the mid

to late 1970s

and the world was

bright and limitless

ripe with possibilities

And we lived and

played endlessly

there under a screaming blue sky

life was easy and free

walking to school

with my little group

of friends

getting into various

forms of mischief

along the way

things were alright

life was good

arriving at school

even at 8 or 9

years old

I’d already begun

to notice the beauty

around me

all those tan young

girls in their dresses

and shorts and t-shirts

they mill around

in groups

giggling and gossiping

as little girls do

as all women do, really, their long hair shining

in the sun

blonde, brown, black,

Whites, Asians, Latinas

each and every one

adorable in her own way, they look at us,

my friends don’t really seem interested yet

but I am, oh yes,

most definitely,

intrigued, one might say

I am not afraid nor shy

I make eye contact

I even talk to them

a rare thing at 8 years

they laugh and smile

with bright eyes

and big smiles

and a flirtatious

flip of the hair

they give me candy

I remember how

good they smelled

these young girls

like shampoo and

oranges and bubblegum

and suntan lotion

and I knew before

I even fully understood

I knew I was lost

a romantic

a hopeless dreamer

forever in and out

of love or lust

or whatever

Always destined

to be entangled

with these delicate and graceful creatures

after school

and weekends

the ocean

always seaside

skateboarding

surfing

flopping on the beach

like a sea turtle

perpetually blonde

and browned by the endless sun

and the LA sunsets

well, they were and are

legendary

a quiet gathering

above and beside

the Pacific

pure hedonism

under a vast sky of

crimson fire

electric blue

hot pink

psychedelic purple

and

orange glowing eternity

even then

the air filled with

clouds of marijuana smoke drifting

on the ocean breeze

Yes, everyone seemed to have time to stop

and watch the sunsets in California

a tradition that persists

to this day

It sometimes seemed as if no one had jobs

freedom was all

that mattered beneath that unreal and

fantastic sky of

ever-changing light

all of us

just together there

watching that star

fall into the sea

an island of fire

finally disappearing

below the horizon

and fading into another cool blue night

Yes, those were

the days

I think, when life

seemed simple

and happy and free

the years drifted by

and I went to San Diego

back to LA

drove back and forth

across America

a few times

and had extended stays

in Florida and

New Orleans

and an epic road trip

through Mexico

and even lived

In New York City

for a few years

But I always returned

to Los Angeles

my beautiful hometown

and it always welcomed

me with its vast beaches and the

dusty rolling hills and lush green canyons

Its network of freeways

and endless streets

with the tall graceful

sickly palm trees swaying in the

Santa Ana winds

and the ocean,

my gorgeous blue

Pacific Ocean always out there dappled with glittering diamonds

of sunlight

dreaming of fire and air and water and earth there at the edge of the continent and the

end of the world

I write this now

in the cool darkness

of an October midnight

in Tokyo, Japan

This endless metropolis

humming and moving around me

and even now

I can smell the sea

and the suntan lotion

on those young girls

and feel my eyes blinking in the

white hot sun & sand

Everything

seems better

and

more precious

when it’s gone…

THB3

Tokyo, Japan

October 16th, 2019

_____________

“The living is a passing traveler;

The dead, a man come home.”

Li Po
____________
“There are no stories without a meaning. And I am one of those men who can find it even where others fail to see it.”
Umberto Eco
“Baudolino”
________________
“TOO MUCH IS MADE OF LEARNING BY LISTENING.”
DUMB TYPE
(Kyoto Art Collective)
Tokyo Museum of
Contemporary Art
December 1st, 2019
__________
“Lots of guys watch Bruce Lee movies-doesn’t mean you can do karate.”
“Bobby Axelrod”
“Billions”
_______________
“A black star appears, a point of darkness in the night sky’s clarity. Point of darkness and gateway to repose. Reach out, pierce the fine fabric of the sheltering sky, take repose.”
Paul Bowles
“The Sheltering Sky”
______________
“…like two bald men fighting over a comb…”
Borges
_______________

Nothing Gold Can Stay

“Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.”

________________

LIFE
It’s…well,
how does one define it?
It’s awareness, isn’t it?
Knowing that
you are alive
and in this moment
right now
A point in time
that will surely
never be again
So live it
Love it
Spend  quality time
with those you love

Enjoy your solitude

those magic moments

that are yours alone

Live full every second

as if it were your last

because the time

will come when it IS

the end and you

will hopefully be

happy

full

&

satisfied

secure in the fact

that you always

stretched out

your arms

and reached for the sun

THB3

Tokyo, Japan

December 14th, 2019

____________

*************

STREET JOURNAL 93: BORN OF FIRE by THB3

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perhaps we are nothing more than smoke, born of fire, drifting across endless fields of ashes and blood…

a world of chaos, ever changing, never the same, we try to find some type of order, some sense of meaning in the burning madness…

_____________

“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”

Winston Churchill

_______________

l + Xl = X

X = lX + l

“sometimes all you need to do is shift your perspective to see someone else’s truth….”

Dan Brown

“Origin”

____________

“The world has no objective existence. It exists only insofar as we are able to perceive it. And our perceptions are necessarily limited. Which means that the world has a limit, that it stops somewhere. But where it stops for you is not necessarily where it stops for me.”

Paul Auster

“Notes From a Composition Book”

(paraphrased by myself: a slight, but significant change in word sequence….)

“But not only are our perceptions limited, language (our means of expressing those perceptions) is also limited.”

“Language is not experience. It is a means of organizing experience.”

Paul Auster

________________

“What I am saying does not mean that there will henceforth be no form in art. It only means that there will be a new form, and this form will be of such a type that it admits the chaos and does not try to say that the chaos is really something else… to find a form that accommodates the mess, that is the task of the artist now.”

Samuel Beckett

________________

“I believe that truth has only one face: that of a violent contradiction.”

Georges Bataille

_____________

“I can forgive my injuries in the name of wisdom,

luxury,

romance…

Words got me the wound and will get me well,

If you believe it…

I touched her thigh

and Death smiled…

Thoughts

in time

and

out of season

The hitchhiker

stood by the side

of the road and

leveled his thumb

in the calm calculus

of reason…”

Jim Morrison

________

“Writing is a form of prayer.”

Franz Kafka

___________

THE

CELEBRATION

OF THE

LIZARD

“Lions in the street & roaming

Dogs in heat, rabid, foaming

A beast caged in the heart of a city

The body of his mother

Rotting in the summer ground.

He fled the town.

He went down South

And crossed the border

Left the chaos & disorder

Back there

Over his shoulder.

One morning he awoke in a green hotel

W/a strange creature groaning beside him.

Sweat oozed from its shiny skin.

Is everybody in? (3)

The ceremony is about to begin.

Wake up!

You can’t remember where it was.

Had this dream stopped?

The snake was pale gold glazed & shrunken.

We were afraid to touch it.

The sheets were hot dead prisons.

And she was beside me, old,

She’s, no; young.

Her dark red hair.

The white soft skin.

Now, run to the mirror in the bathroom,

Look!

She’s coming in here.

I can’t live thru each slow century

of her moving.

I let my cheek slide down

The cool smooth tile

Feel the good cold stinging blood.

The smooth hissing snakes

of rain…

~~~

Once I had a little game

I liked to crawl back in my brain

I think you know the game I mean

I mean the game called “Go Insane”

Now you should try this little game

Just close your eyes forget your name

forget the world, forget the people

and we’ll erect a different steeple.

This little game is fun to do.

Just close your eyes, no way to lose

And I’m right here, I’m going too

Release control, we’re breaking through

~~~

Way back deep into the brain

Way back past the realm of pain

Back where there’s never any rain

And the rain falls gently on the town

And over the heads of all of us

And in the labyrinth of streams beneath

Quiet unearthly presence of

Nervous hill dwellers in the gentle hills around

Reptiles abounding

Fossils, caves, cool air heights

Each house repeats a mold

Windows rolled

A beast car locked in against morning

All now sleeping

Rugs silent, mirrors vacant

Dust blind under the beds of lawful couples

Wound in sheets

And daughters, smug with semen

Eyes in their nipples

Wait! There’s been a slaughter here

Don’t stop to speak or look around

Your gloves and fan are on the ground

We’re getting out of town

We’re going on the run

And you’re the one I want to come!

~~~

Not to touch the earth, not to see the sun

Nothing left to do but run, run, run

Let’s run, let’s run

House upon the hill, moon is lying still

Shadows of the trees witnessing the wild breeze

Come on, baby, run with me

Let’s run

Run with me, run with me, run with me

Let’s run

The mansion is warm at the top of the hill

Rich are the rooms and the comforts there

Red are the arms of luxuriant chairs

And you won’t know a thing till you get inside

Dead president’s corpse in the driver’s car

The engine runs on glue and tar

Come on along, not going very far

To the east to meet the Czar

Run with me, run with me, run with me

Let’s run

Some outlaws live by the side of a lake

The minister’s daughter’s in love with the snake

Who lives in a well by the side of the road

Wake up, girl! We’re almost home

Sun, sun, sun

Burn, burn, burn

Moon, moon, moon

I will get you soon…soon…soon!

I am the Lizard King

I can do anything

~~~

We came down the rivers and highways

We came down from forests and falls

We came down from Carson and Springfield

We came down from Phoenix enthralled

And I can tell you the names of the kingdom

I can tell you the things that you know

Listening for a fistful of silence

Climbing valleys into the shade

~~~

For seven years I dwelt in the loose palace of exile

Playing strange games with the girls of the island

Now I have come again to the land of the fair

And the strong and the wise

Brothers and sisters of the pale forest

Children of night

Who among you will run with the hunt?

Now night arrives with her purple legion

Retire now to your tents and to your dreams

Tomorrow we enter the town of my birth

I want to be ready.”

Jim Morrison

___________

YOU CAN RUN AWAY TO AFRICA,

BUT YOU CAN’T RUN AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS.

____________

Your belief in God is merely an escape from your monotonous, stupid and cruel life.”

“I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect.”

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

KRISHNAMURTI

_________

“Beauty is unbearable, drives us to despair, offering us for a minute the glimpse of an eternity that we should like to stretch out over the whole of time.”

Albert Camus

____________

“Remember, Democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself.”

John Adams

_________

“Throughout history power has been earned. Historically, power was awarded to those who demonstrated it. None but the best warriors were crowned. Now politics has degraded power to a popularity contest.”

Chuck Palahniuk

___________

“So impressed with all you do
Tried so hard to be like you

Flew too high and burnt the wing
Lost my faith in everything

Lick around divine debris
Taste the wealth of hate in me

Shedding skin succumb defeat

This machine is obsolete

Made the choice to go away

Drink the fountain of decay

Tear a hole exquisite red
Fuck the rest and stab it dead

Broken, bruised, forgotten, sore

Too fucked up to care anymore

Poisoned to my rotten core

Too fucked up to care anymore…”

Trent Reznor

“Somewhat Damaged”

__________

BURY MOTHERFUCKERS

IN

THE

CONCRETE

___________

“I know the pieces fit

cause I watched them

fall away…”

TOOL

“Schism”

____________

“Oh, the streets of Rome are filled with rubble

Ancient footprints are everywhere

You can almost think that you’re seeing double

On a cold, dark night on the Spanish Stairs

Got to hurry on back to my hotel room

Where I’ve got me a date with Botticelli’s niece

She promised that she’d be right there with me

When I paint my masterpiece

Oh, the hours I’ve spent inside the Coliseum

Dodging lions and wasting time

Oh, those mighty kings of the jungle, I could hardly stand to see them

Yes, it sure has been a long, hard climb

Train wheels running through the back of my memory

When I ran on the hilltop following a pack of wild geese

Someday, everything is going to be smooth like a rhapsody

When I paint my masterpiece

Sailing round the world in a dirty gondola

Oh, to be back in the land of Coca-Cola!

I left Rome and landed in Brussels

On a plane ride so bumpy that I almost cried

Clergymen in uniform and young girls pulling muscles

Everyone was there to greet me when I stepped inside

Newspapermen eating candy

Had to be held down by big police

Someday, everything is going to be different

When I paint my masterpiece…”

Bob Dylan

___________

“I love the sound of shells hitting the ground, man

I love the sound of shells hitting the ground, I love it

I love the sound of shells hitting the ground, man…

WE KNOW WHERE YOU FUCKIN LIVE!”

Marilyn Manson

_________

Once I was young and stupid, full of hopes and dreams. The world seemed bright and exciting, ripe with potential and endless possibilities. Now that I’m older, I fully realize that the world is shit. Most people are scumbags and will lie, cheat, steal and kill to serve their own ends. They will do anything to make a buck including clambering over your dead corpse. Welcome to the future, motherfuckers…

_________

“Sometimes I don’t know where this dirty road’s taking me,

Sometimes I don’t even know the reason why…

But I guess I’ll keep a’gamblin, lots of booze and lots of ramblin,

Well, it’s easier than just a’waitin round to die…”

Townes Van Zandt

__________

“And the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own Midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possessed me then

And I begged, “Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?”

And the angel said unto me, “These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust.”

And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, “Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!”

Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus

[Verse 1]
This is necessary
This is necessary
Life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on…

This is necessary

This is necessary

Life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life…

[Break]

[Verse 2]

This is necessary

This is necessary

Life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on

This is necessary

*(here begins the sound of a shotgun being loaded and fired again and again……..)*

This is necessary

Life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on

This is necessary

This is necessary

Life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on…

FADE TO CRICKETS IN A DARK NIGHT FOREST FOR 20 MINUTES…

(then the disembodied voice begins quietly…)

It was daylight when you woke up in your ditch. You looked up at your sky, then that made blue be your color. You had your knife there with you too. When you stood up there was goo all over your clothes. Your hands were sticky. You wiped them on your grass, so now your color was green. Oh Lord, why did everything always have to keep changing like this? You were already getting nervous again. Your head hurt and it rang when you stood up. Your head was almost empty. It always hurt when you woke up like this. You crawled out of your ditch onto your gravel road and began to walk, waiting for the rest of your mind to come back to you. You can see the car parked far down the road and you walked towards it. “If God is our father,” you thought, “then Satan must be our cousin.” Why didn’t anyone else understand these important things? You got to your car and tried all the doors. They were locked. It was a red car and it was new. There was an expensive leather camera case laying on the seat. Out across your field, you could see two tiny people walking by your woods. You began to walk towards them. Now red was your color and, of course, those little people were yours too.”

TOOL

“UNDERTOW”

(Disgustipated and hidden track 69)

__________

“I’ve gone to great lengths to expand my threshold of pain,

I will use my mistakes against you,

There’s no other choice…”

TOOL with Henry Rollins

“Bottom”

from the album

“Undertow”

___________

“And those who have insight will shine brightly like the expanse of Heaven, and those who lead the many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.

But for you, Daniel, conceal these words and seal up the book until the end of time. Many will go back and forth and knowledge will increase.”

Daniel 12:3-4

___________

YOU PEOPLE WOULDN’T KNOW GOOD ART IF IT PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE…

TWEET THIS MUTHAFUCKAS…

🖕🏼

___________

“You wanna know why I don’t even talk about Trump in my shows?

Because that motherfucker is not the Hokey Pokey. He is not what it’s all about. There’s millions of people that put him in power. And the ideas that he puts forth are not his own. He’s singing poor white people’s greatest hits. So why the fuck would I worry about him? And not the other millions?”

Dave Chappelle

_________

Hey, here’s an idea that would sell:

Underwear for men or women in beautiful, minimalist Piet Mondrian prints…we could call it

MONDRIANDERWEAR

What do ya think?

Feel free to steal this idea if you can afford it- I don’t have any fucking money (but be warned…I might sue you later…)

You heard it here first, folks, remember that…

__________

“now it is my time to walk on thin ice & face the tigers.”

The correspondence of Charles Bukowski and Sheri Martinelli 1960–1967

“Beerspit Night & Cursing”

__________

BORED TO DEATH

by THB3

These words fall

across the page

with a splatter

like blood

The spirit drains

watching the tired

listlessness everywhere

Drones shuffling

to and fro staring at their goddamn phones

with dead eyes

No thoughts

no excitement

no danger

no sense of adventure

Just dull dull DULL

sadness dripping

like a leaking faucet

of acid rain

Ennui ripping

through their existence

no meaning

no purpose

The raw sandpaper

scrubbing of scumbag

boredom killing all

semblance of life

Routine

the slow & silent killer

stabbing & slashing

the last remains

Eyes like black holes

dull & lifeless

glazed over & cow-like

waiting 4 the slaughter

Where r the wild ones?

The ones still alive?

There must be a few

left out there…

Show yourself to me

Let me know I have not

been left alone out here in the darkness

Struggling to breathe

to keep head above water, to find joy still in sunlight and blue sky

Even though it sometimes seems as if the sun has finally set for the last time…

forever…

THB3

Tokyo, Japan

September 20, 2019

____________

STREET JOURNAL 92: CHAOS by THB3

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“In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity…”

Sun Tzu

“The Art of War”

________

Almost 8 billion people on this earth and growing exponentially…

and still, practically nobody is listening or caring…about ANYTHING. At the current rate of human growth, it’s entirely likely that there will be 32 billion people on this planet within the next 50 years fighting in the miserable heat for dwindling resources. I’d like to be more optimistic, but I would be lying to you & myself…we’re doomed….

_________

I am constantly contradicting myself and yet somehow, it still all makes sense.

_________

Overtime is the fucking worst. My time is much more valuable than money. If I don’t have the time or energy to spend and enjoy my money, what is the goddamn point?!… to pay for my own funeral?

________

“This is the strangest life I’ve ever known…”

Jim Morrison

_________

I WAS DRUGGED AND LEFT FOR DEAD IN MEXICO AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID T-SHIRT

_________

“It is all a lost cause; the victory is to avoid bitterness.”

Hunter S. Thompson

______________

“The thought of these vast stacks of books would drive him mad: the more he read, the less he seemed to know — the greater the number of the books he read, the greater the immense uncountable number of those which he could never read would seem to be…. The thought that other books were waiting for him tore at his heart forever.”

Thomas Wolfe

“Of Time and the River”

______________

I’ll turn this place into a one man riot…

_________

train wreck

_________

damage addict

_________

sensory overload

_________

secondhand jesus

_________

“No story has a happy ending, unless you stop telling it before it’s over with…”

Orson Welles

_________

“To me, a story can be both concrete and abstract, or a concrete story can hold abstractions. And abstractions are things that really can’t be said so well with words.”

David Lynch

__________

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WIND

“It’s all in the editing…”

Orson Welles

__________

“Fuck you, you fuckin fuck!”

“Frank Booth”

(from David Lynch’s “Blue Velvet”)

___________

“The way some people think is they think money, and all of their decisions are based on the fear of not making money. It’s not about anything else. Their jobs are at stake and they have to make money, and they think people won’t like this, we won’t have a hit, we won’t make money, and I’ll lose my job. It’s the wrong way to think, but that’s what happens.”

David Lynch

“Room to Dream”

___________

___________

•••••••••••

THINK

OUTSIDE

____________

| THE |

| BOX |

|___________|

••••••••••••••

**************

________________

“We are like the spider. We weave our life and then move along in it. We are like the dreamer who dreams and then lives in the dream. This is true for the entire universe.”

Brihadaranyaka Upanishad

____________

“. . . a stone, a leaf, an unfound door; a stone, a leaf, a door. And of all the forgotten faces.

Naked and alone we came into exile. In her dark womb we did not know our mother’s face; from the prison of her flesh have we come into the unspeakable and incommunicable prison of this earth.

Which of us has known his brother? Which of us has looked into his father’s heart? Which of us has not remained forever prison-pent? Which of us is not forever a stranger and alone?

O waste of lost, in the hot mazes, lost, among bright stars on this weary, unbright cinder, lost! Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again…”

Thomas Wolfe

“Look Homeward, Angel”

___________

“If you assume that there is no hope, then you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, that there are opportunities to change things, then there is a possibility that you can contribute to making a better world.”

Noam Chomsky

__________

“If you wish to see the truth,

then hold no opinions.”

an old Zen koan

__________

“Ideas are like fish. If you want to catch little fish, you can stay in the shallow water. But if you want to catch the big fish, you’ve got to go deeper. Down deep the fish are more powerful and more pure. They’re huge and abstract. And they’re very beautiful.”

David Lynch

___________

“My only ornament

—my only rest,

the fight…”

Cervantes

“Don Quixote”

_____________

No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.”

“Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.”

“Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.”

“Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”

H.L. Mencken

(all of the above quotes)

____________

“It kills the very brave and the very good and the very gentle indiscriminately. If you are none of these, it will kill you too. But there will be no special hurry.”

Ernest Hemingway

____________

“To be nobody but yourself, in a world that is doing its best, night and day, to make you somebody else, means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight; and never stop fighting…”

E.E Cummings

___________

“Nobody can save you but yourself. You will be put again and again into nearly impossible situations. They will attempt again and again to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly inside…and it will be easy enough to fail, but don’t, don’t, don’t. Just watch them. Listen to them. Do you want to be like that? A faceless, heartless, mindless being? Do you want to experience death before death? Nobody can save you but yourself and you’re worth saving. It’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning then this is it. Think about it. Think about saving yourself.”

Charles Bukowski

________________

“I just sit in the hotel room and ring the bell for more beer. Life has improved immeasurably since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.”

Hunter S. Thompson

______________

“The question would seem to be: Is life so valuable that we should give up flirting with death in order to hang around? I’m not sure.”

Hunter S. Thompson

____________

are

we

ever

gonna

be

better

than

this?

_____________

“I have a theory that you can make any sentence seem profound by writing the name of a dead philosopher at the end of it

⁃ Plato “

_______________

“Pain or love or danger makes you real again.”

Jack Kerouac

________________

|

|

___

| |

__________________

choices

___________________

parallel realities

___________________

fate

or

free will

?

________________

“Not Being

Able

To Create

Art

They Will

Not

Under-

stand Art”

Charles Bukowski

_____________

“Overhead the albatross

hangs motionless upon the air

And deep beneath the rolling waves

in labyrinths of coral caves

The echo of a distant time

comes willowing across the sand

And everything is green and submarine….”

Pink Floyd

_____________

“the way to

whip life is

to quietly

frame the

agony,

study it

and put it

to sleep in

the

abstract”

Charles Bukowski

____________

86’d

“the most binding labor 

is

trying to make it

under a sanctified

banner.

similarity of intention

with others

marks the fool from the

explorer

you can learn this at

any

poolhall, racetrack, bar

university or

jail.

people run from rain but

sit

in bathtubs full of

water.

it is fairly dismal to know that

millions of people are worried about

the hydrogen bomb

yet

they are already

dead.

they keep trying to make

women

money

sense.

and finally the Great Bartender will lean forward

white and pure and strong and mystic

to tell you that you’ve had

enough

just when you feel like

you’re getting

started.”

Charles Bukowski

______________

“They don’t realize that they’ve changed; they think it’s the world that changed.”

Ryu Murakami

“Coin Locker Babies”

_____________

“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”

Dalai Lama

_________________

“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.”

Anne Frank

_______________

“The more real you get, the more unreal the world gets.”

John Lennon

________________

I might be able to define myself as what you could call a hedonistic nihilist…

___________________

“Nobody will stop you from creating. Do it tonight. Do it tomorrow. That is the way to make your soul grow. The kick of creation is the act of creating, not anything that happens afterward. I would tell all of you watching this screen. Before you go to bed, write a four-line poem. Make it as good as you can. Don’t show it to anybody. Put it where nobody will find it. And you will discover that you have your reward.”

Kurt Vonnegut

_______________

“THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ART AND LIFE IS THAT ART IS MORE BEARABLE.”

“I’D RATHER HEAR ABOUT A LIVE AMERICAN BUM THAN A DEAD GREEK GOD.”

“THERE IS NOTHING MORE BORING THAN THE TRUTH.”

“THE WELL-BALANCED INDIVIDUAL IS INSANE.”

Charles Bukowski

______________

“I sense the world might be more dreamlike, metaphorical, and poetic than we currently believe… I wouldn’t be surprised if poetry… in the sense of a world filled with metaphor, rhyme, and recurring patterns, shapes and designs…is how the world works. The world isn’t logical, it’s a song.”

David Byrne

________________

“Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.”

Jorge Luis Borges

________________

“It’s an irritating reality that many places and events defy description…seem to demand silence, like a love affair you can never talk about. For a while after, you fumble for words, trying vainly to assemble a private narrative, an explanation, a comfortable way to frame where you’ve been and what’s happened. In the end, you’re just happy you were there…with your eyes open…and lived to see it.”

Anthony Bourdain

_______________

“There is a time for departure even when there is no certain place to go…”

Tennessee Williams

______________

“I never wish to be easily defined. I’d rather float over other people’s minds as something strictly fluid and non-perceivable; more like a transparent, paradoxically iridescent creature than an actual person.”

Frank Kafka

_______________

“To me, the main thing about living on this planet is to know who the hell you are and be real about it. That’s the reason I’m still alive.”

Keith Richards

__________________

NOT A POEM

by THB3

it’s almost a poem,

but not quite, not really…

sometimes words fail me,

it’s quite often they fail us all

it seems to me that everything

has already been said,

a million, no, a billion,

even trillions of different ways,

recycled endlessly

across the millennia

when language fails us,

how do we explain those

sublime feelings that burn

way down deep in the heart

etched into our bones,

woven like a spiderweb

into the very fabric

of our souls?

what to say?

what to do?

only the wail of a distant siren,

a strong spring wind,

the song of a night bird

in the darkness…

only these things

give me any

kind of answer,

and a vague one, at that …

that is why there is no more to say here,

nothing else to be done,

simply embrace the silence and the void….

THB3

Tokyo, Japan

5/18/19

THE FRIENDLY NIHILIST: STREET JOURNAL 91 by Tom Henry Brooks 3

Standard

IMG_5840.JPG

It’s quite often that I’m racked with that special kind of FUCK THE WORLD feeling, but I’ll still take you out to lunch for a nice, friendly conversation…

_______

“MOSAIC

a series of notes, prose-poems,

stories, bits of play & dialog

Aphorisms, epigrams, essays

Poems? Sure”

“I think the interview is the new art form. I think the self-interview is the essence of creativity.  Asking yourself questions and trying to find answers. The writer is just answering a series of unuttered questions.”

“If my poetry aims to achieve anything, it’s to deliver people from the limited ways in which they see and feel.”

Jim Morrison

“WILDERNESS”

_______

“ The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn’t a search for meaning. It’s just to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you’ll be dead.”

“What’s great about Los Angeles is nobody cares where you’re from or who you are. It’s a superficial town where you can worry about stupid shit like keeping your pool clean and what kind of artisanal nuts to put on your fucking salad.”

BOJACK HORSEMAN

______

“Actually, there ARE two kinds of people in this world: those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better.”

Tom Robbins

“Still Life With Woodpecker”

_________

My new social & antisocial media accounts & emails will be under the name HAMBONE FAKENAMINGTON

….also, sometimes it’s just plain fun to see the expression on someone’s face when you call them HAMBONE for no good reason…

________

“What matters is the idea,

not the camera.”

Man Ray

________

“Take the red pill & you stay in Wonderland, and I show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes.”

“The Matrix”

___________

___________

SoCal Soul 1/23 to 1/30, 2018

(Homecoming)

If somebody is telling you a long and rambling story and you want to get them to put a cork in it, try this out and see if it works for you too…

Interrupt them rudely and say,

“ I’m sorry but does this story involve crack? Because if it doesn’t begin AND end with crack, i’m not interested. I mean this story’s going nowhere, man…”

It really works, my friends.  All the people concerned usually get a good laugh out of it. And it’s truly amusing to see how easily some people are offended…

_______

The green chronic herb is legal now in California! Always remember…KUSHASHIMA.

_______

Dave and I talked about the acquisition of riches, and how you need to focus and be singleminded in purpose,

and Polston says,

“Ehhh, I quit halfway through Monopoly…”

That just about sums it up…

________

“ We live in an era when rich people are skinny and poor people are fat.”

Joe Rogan

________

Tom “ you know when you start getting older and feeling all those pains you just got to fight through it and take the pain.”

Dave “ that’s all we can do Chuck Wagon.”

________

“You know how people say ‘you’re all right in my book.’ Well, I actually have a book and everyone I meet goes in it…”

Quentin Tarantino

“Death Proof”

__________

Venice Beach – saw Pink, Anthony Kiedis and a woodpecker getting chased by a falcon….

________

Venice Beach at sunset saw a fucking drone…

_______

It’s my next to last sunset on Venice Beach and I notice that Venice Beach has both the very best and the very worst the world has to offer …. so many people getting along ,dancing , laughing  …AND so many scumbags spun out  of their heads on drugs …it’s truly mind-boggling…

Aside from this paradox it truly is an amazing place at sunset and I suspect it will be for many years to come…. i’m going to miss it…

Sunday and Monday , the last two days of my homecoming to Los Angeles… it is fire season! offshore Santa Ana winds…. it is hot!

Skateboards only….A Sign you’ll see only in California…

I let this random woman in the back gate here at the Oakwood. I was hanging around there only because I was doing laundry. Then she stands there staring at me with this nervous confused look on her face. I thought I had a crazy one on my hands and I couldn’t figure out what to do and then it occurred to me… I said, “ you’re meeting somebody aren’t you ? you think I’m somebody else…”

She thought I was messing with her or I didn’t want to date her but I told her she had the wrong guy. That’s what happens when you go on Internet dates and you don’t even have any idea what the person looks like. I finally shook her off when the other guy came outside… almost a full moon, I see…

The biggest thing I notice when I come back to California after a long absence is the way everybody of all races and religions and colors comes together at the beach chasing that golden dream, the one of family and friends and sunshine and palm trees and screaming blue sky and wide open vast ocean. Don’t get me wrong because in Japan they chase the dream too but Californians are just so damn good at it…

_______

As I sit here in the wind up bird alley having a beer and a smoke before my last LA sunset, for now anyway, I am reminded of the amazing diversity of bird life in the LA basin…magic…

_______

My whole week in California I did not have one single fall on my skateboard. This board and I have been a long way together from long journeys in Tokyo to riding around Venice & Santa Monica relentlessly all week… I say this as I am cleaning the wheels and packing the skateboard back into my suitcase for my trip home tomorrow…

_______

Last few hours… last few moments of deep memories and nostalgia. As the sun falls below the horizon & the sky turns a deep violet and indigo blue, I sit here filled with love and happiness, truly overwhelmed by my beautiful hometown which I’ve missed much more than I realized, until tonight…

Goodbye Los Angeles… I hope next time I see you I can still skateboard…

THB3

1/29/18

Oakwood, Marina del Rey/Venice, Los Angeles, California

__________

__________

February 11, 2018

Oyazawa Village, Koumi,

Nagano Prefecture

10:44 A.M.

Today is the day my Japanese father, Kaoru Nagashima, is finally laid in his final resting place. His ashes & bone fragments are interred beneath a gorgeous ebony-black marble gravestone with silver-inlaid Kanji and cherry blossoms.  We stand, Chiharu & I and the family, on a sunny hilltop at 3300 feet (1033 meters).

There is snow in some of the fields and a bamboo grove rustling nearby in a gentle morning breeze.  A Buddhist monk in his saffron robes chants softly with his prayer beads & sticks and bells. The air smells of mountain fresh air & incense. It feels close to some kind of heaven. Snow slides off nearby roofs in clumps in the morning sunlight. The soft wind hisses through the bamboo, birds chirping, the chanting, the dry croak of a crow, white puffy clouds pass across an endless blue sky, silence of nature, silence of the heart…

I am apart from the others, lost in my own thoughts. I can’t help thinking that in a hundred years, every single one of us at this funeral  ceremony, including the monk, will be long gone. And a hundred years after that, everyone that remembered or knew us will be gone as well. It will almost be as if we’d never existed at all…but we DID exist. We were here, and we lived the best that we could…

Goodbye & farewell, Kaoru-San; I will remember you as long as I am able…

THB3

2/11/18

___________

2-14-18

In the face of the massive nuclear threat posed by North Korea and the United States and their maniacal and stupid presidents, the Doomsday Clock just ticked closer to midnight. We are nearer to self-annihilation than ever before. The question is, why do we even have a Doomsday Clock? Why does it even exist at all? Are we truly so sure and confident in our own mutually assured destruction? The answer is…yes, we are. It just goes to show you how stupid we are as humans, capable of so much more, yet the powers that be still plot and plan war and death to us all. It makes no sense, yet, it is what it is. It’s out of our hands now; we watch and we wait and we wonder when the bright flash of light will blind and extinguish all that we are & have been, and will leave behind nothing but smoking ruins and death and endless sorrow and a nuclear wind blowing across a desolate landscape of despair. I really hope I’m wrong, I really hope we find a way to work through this, but my hopeful optimism sinks lower day by day and I lose all faith in the intelligence of humans…Happy Valentine’s Day, motherfuckers…love & peace to one and all….ya goddamned idiots…

THB3

Footnote:

2 months later…

Well, we’re still here. Maybe I was wrong about all that. Maybe I was in a black mood that day. Maybe it was all media hype and disinformation. Or maybe a cruise missile is on a trajectory for Tokyo as I write this. It’s such a ridiculous world, I just don’t know anymore. Whatever, at least I’m enjoying the ride…

_________

“The distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”

Albert Einstein

________

“…the mantra,

I AM LOVING AWARENESS…

make friends with change…”

Ram Dass

“Going Home”

________

“We take pictures to stop time, to commit moments to eternity…”

Kodachrome (movie)

__________

There’s a Zen koan where a teacher holds a stick. He says to his student, “If you tell me this stick is real, I will beat you with it. If you tell me it is not real, I will beat you with it. If you say nothing, I will beat you with it.”

And so, the student reaches out, grabs the stick, and breaks it.

If a situation is untenable, you break that fucking stick.

________

“Be present. Make love. Make tea. Avoid small talk. Embrace conversation. Buy a plant, water it. Make your bed. Make someone else’s bed. Have a smart mouth, and quick wit. Run. Make art. Create. Swim in the ocean. Swim in the rain. Take chances. Ask questions. Make mistakes. Learn. Know your worth. Love fiercely. Forgive quickly. Let go of what doesn’t make you happy. Grow.”

Paulo Coelho

________

“He not busy being born

is busy dying…”

Bob Dylan

_________

“There has to be some pleasure in this job, and that’s it. To go around in disguise. To act a character. To pass oneself off as what one is not. To pretend. The sly and cunning masquerade.”

Philip Roth

________

6/9/18

The one month anniversary of my fucking 49th Birthday. A blistering hot summer day, screaming blue sky and a chance of afternoon thundershowers. Still a maniac after all these years- on one of my epic Tokyo bike rides. Apparently, I’m in Arakawa Ward,  and it’s all new turf to me, but in reality, I don’t even care where I am right now…

________

“Let me tell you something-happiness is bullshit. No art worth a damn was ever created out of happiness, I can tell you that much.

Ambition, narcissism, sex, rage…those are the engines that drive every great artist, every great man…a hole that can’t be filled.”

Kodachrome (movie)

__________

“Context is everything. Dress me up and see. I’m a carnival barker, an auctioneer, a downtown performance artist, a speaker in tongues, a senator drunk on filibuster.  My mouth won’t quit, though mostly I whisper or subvocalize like I’m reading aloud, my Adam’s apple bobbing, jaw muscle beating like a miniature heart under my cheek, the noise suppressed, the words escaping silently, mere ghosts of themselves, husks empty of breath and tone.  In this diminished form the words rush out of the cornucopia of my brain to course over the surface of the world, tickling reality like fingers on piano keys. Caressing, nudging.  They’re an invisible army on a peacekeeping mission, a peaceable horde. They mean no harm. They placate, interpret, massage. Everywhere they’re smoothing down imperfections, putting hairs in place, putting ducks in a row, replacing divots. Counting and polishing the silver. Patting old ladies gently on the behind, eliciting a giggle. Only-here’s the rub-when they find too much perfection, when the surface is already buffed smooth, the ducks already orderly, the old ladies complacent, then my little army rebels, breaks into the stores. Reality needs a prick here and there, the carpet needs a flaw. My words begin plucking at threads nervously, seeking purchase, a weak point, a vulnerable ear.  That’s

when it comes, the urge to shout in the church, the nursery, the crowded movie house. It’s an itch at first. Inconsequential. But that itch is soon a torrent behind a straining dam. Noah’s flood. That itch is my whole life. Here it comes now. Cover your ears. Build an ark. I’ve got Tourette’s.

‘Eat me!’ I scream.”

Jonathan Lethem

___________

“To be alive at all is to have scars.”

John Steinbeck

____________

____________

JUST SOUTH OF 50 AND WAY SOUTH OF HEAVEN

fuck

Where oh where does the time go?

Sometimes my life feels like

an express bullet train

headed for a single destination only-

meaningless oblivion

This is not a poem

this is a series of complaints

when we were young

in Southern California

it was sunshine and surf

and a screaming blue sky above

It was the definition of hedonism

living for the sole pleasure

of enjoyment and good times

But those days of wine and roses

are long gone now

This is not a poem

this is a lament

To age

to grow older

to have responsibilities

to understand your place

in the world

to feel the pressure

weighing down on you

like a thousand tons of bricks

This is the cold hard reality

of our daily lives

This is not a poem

this a tidal wave of memories

In my twenties

I continued to shirk my duties

to live free and reckless and wild

Even into my thirties

I just didn’t care

It all seemed so stupid

so pointless

so futile to fight

the madness of this ridiculous world

Like a fox in a henhouse

I took what I wanted with

no apologies

This is not a poem

this is a sad song

In my late forties now

How did I get here?

How did I survive the chaos?

I can scarcely answer that question

even when talking to myself

I’ve been many men over the years

I’ve lived a myriad of different lives

yet in all of them I feel I’ve been

an outsider

a rebel

a renegade

an outlaw

a maniac

a whirlwind

a man apart

For this I am glad

smug and self-satisfied

I’ve lived by my own rules

my own ever-changing principles

This is not a poem

it is a waking dream

Over the years

good times ebbed and flowed

women came and went

My heart has been filled

with boundless joy

inexhaustible enthusiasm

and an infinite sadness

The world continually

beats me down

but somehow I get right back up

and keep moving

This is not a poem

it is the wind in the trees

It really sucks getting older

watching yourself

sagging

wrinkles appearing

more gray hairs

fighting fat and laziness

To wake up feeling like

a walking corpse

bones and muscles aching

mind still in a dreamworld

To feel yourself falling apart

piece by piece

bit by bit

disintegrating into the dust

from whence we came

This is not a poem

it’s an elegy

a requiem

Despite all these things

conspiring to bring me down

I trudge through the whirlwind

with a grim smile etched

on my leathery old face

I’m an old warhorse

and I will not fall without a fight

I go through my days

in the best spirits I can

trying to find the humor

in everything

I squeeze the oranges into juice

the lemons into lemonade

I stomp upon the grapes

and make wine

I continue to LIVE the best I can

It’s a long hard road I walk

but I continue onward & upward

looking for satisfaction

for love

for happiness

for redemption

for meaning

that’s right

goddamnit

I keep going forward

almost 50

surely more than a midpoint in life

I keep walking into the sun

almost 50, it’s true

but still

way south of heaven

THB3

Tom Henry Brooks 3

Tokyo, Japan

June 21st, 2018

________________________________

________________________________

________________________________

LA VIDA ES SUEÑO: STREET JOURNAL 90 by THB3

Standard

“Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself.”

Ludwig Wittgenstein

_______

“In my own country I am in a far-off land.”

“I die of thirst beside the fountain.”

Francois Villon

_______

“I hope the exit is joyful

And I hope never to return-”

Frida Kahlo

_______

“Sell crazy someplace else-

we’re all stocked up here…”

“As Good As It Gets”

_______

“People need trouble-a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do; I don’t mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Only vegetables are happy.”

William Faulkner

________

Autumn Day

by Rainer Maria Rilke

“Lord: it is time.

The summer was immense.

Lay your shadow on the sundials,

and in the fields let the wind loose.

Bid the last fruits to be full;

give them two more southerly days,

urge them on to fulfillment

and drive the last sweetness

into the heavy wine.

Whoever has no house

will build none.

Whoever is alone

will stay alone,

will wake, read, write long letters

and wander the alleys up and down restlessly, when the leaves are blowing…”

Rilke (1902)

________

“Hitherto shalt thou come, but no further…”

Job 38:11

_________

“I wanted to give up the idea I had any control. Shake things up. TO BE SAVED BY CHAOS. To see if I could cope, I wanted to force myself to grow again. To explode my comfort zone.”

Chuck Palahniuk

“Invisible Monsters”

_________

“As a young man, he’d been an idealist in a corrupt world. It was no surprise that he’d turned out equally as corrupt, just a new and different form of corrupt. That might be the best any generation could achieve: to pioneer its own brand of corruption.”

Chuck Palahniuk

“Torcher”

________

“Never forget that the human race with technology is just like an alcoholic with a barrel of wine.”

Theodore Kaczynski

(“The Unabomber”)

{I can’t say I approved of his methods, but he was way ahead of his time…}

_________

… was not chance that brought us together again. I am sure of that. These things are predestined. I have a theory that each life is like a pack of cards, and those we meet and sometimes love are shuffled with us. We find ourselves in the same suit, held by the hand of fate. The game is played, we are discarded, and pass on ⊛

Daphne du Maurier

_________

“All men are doomed to spend most of their existence among the dead.”

Chuck Palahniuk

________

“The point is not to take the world’s opinion as a guiding star but to go one’s own way in life and work, unerringly, neither depressed by failure nor seduced by applause. I am banging my head against the walls, but the walls are giving way.”

Gustav Mahler

_______

“I’m disgusted with my life and myself, but I’m not unhappy about that.”

“Hank Moody”

“Californication”

_______

“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.”

George Orwell

________

“Few things are sadder than the truly monstrous.”

Nathanael West

“The Day of the Locust”

_________

“In a moment of infinite sadness

he peeled away the light

exposing the underbelly

of a fallen star

perplexed by the nature of his find

he turned back to realize

that only the self

remained ”

John Naccarato

@democracyofobjects (Instagram)

from DAY FOR NIGHT

a fiction based AR project

_________

“I construct my memories with my present. I am lost, abandoned in the present. I try in vain to rejoin the past. I cannot escape.”

Jean-Paul Sartre

A Being That Causes Itself

_________

“Meaning is not in things but in between them.”

Norman O. Brown

________

Revelations & epiphanies always hit you at the unlikeliest of moments & for the most obscure of reasons. There is no accounting for it; that’s just the way it is.

_________

“The truth was, we were wandering now through a world that would never be a part of any correspondent’s beat. It was full of news, but all of it was oblique, mysterious, important only if you listened and watched and felt its weight. On the ferry back from Eua, I had ridden on the roof with three boys who said they planned to see every kung fu and cowboy and cop movie playing at the three cinemas in Nuku’alofa until their money ran out. One boy, thin and laughing and fourteen, told me that he had quit school because he was ‘lazy.’ He had a Japanese comic book that got passed around the ferry roof. The book was a bizarre mash-up: cutesy children’s cartoons, hairy-armed war stories, nurse-and-doctor soap opera, graphic pornography. A ferry crewman frowned when he got to the porn, tore each page out, crumpled it, and threw it in the sea. The boys laughed. Finally, with a great bark of disgust, the sailor threw the whole book in the water and the boys laughed harder. I watched the tattered pages float away in a glassy lagoon. I closed my eyes. I felt the weight of unmapped worlds, unborn language. This was what I was chasing: not the exotic, but a broad-beamed understanding of what is what.

The sadness of the obscure graveyard, of unforgotten elders buried under the sand, made my chest tight. It seemed to mock this whole vague enterprise. Still, something beckoned.”

William Finnegan

“Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life”

_________

“The Second Coming ”

BY WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS

“Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;

Surely the Second Coming is at hand.

The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out

When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi

Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,

A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,

Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it

Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.

The darkness drops again; but now I know

That twenty centuries of stony sleep

Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born? ”

___________

Imagine a man, if you will. He is unknown to you and shall remain nameless. He walks through a seemingly endless night. Through this kingdom of darkness he wanders, no destination, just following his footsteps wherever they may lead. He encounters many strange characters, various denizens of the dimly lit streets, but they are just faces passing through the night like candle flames floating on the air, insubstantial, fleeting. Considering the bigger picture, in the end, they mean nothing to him. It is the in-between spaces that capture his imagination; it is those mysterious back streets and alleys that grab a hold of his soul and do not let go. It is in these places that he becomes one with the night, where he feels the most free. He continues on alone, deeper into those darknesses…

THB3

_________

Life is a gift, but we squander it, day by day. We are all guilty. We work ourselves to death and we spend our days submerged in ordinary routines. We are desensitized to violence and death. Everything is online. Nothing shocks us anymore, nothing surprises us. There are few mysteries left in the world. The only thing to be curious about is how much more of this shit we can take before we die of boredom, depression or insanity. Does this seem negative to you? Damn right it is. It is the cold hard reality that we live every day of our lives in the 21st-century. Welcome to the future. Ain’t life grand?

THB3

December 1, 2017

Tokyo, Japan

_______

“For a minute there I lost myself…”

***********************

THIS STUPID WORLD: STREET JOURNAL 89 by THB3

Standard

Everything is just getting so goddamn pathetic that I can’t even watch the news anymore…

_____

“…o man’s great ugliness everywhere like that fresh dog turd that the morning shoe did not see  again, o the mighty police, o the mighty dictators, o the mighty damn fools everywhere, o the lonely lonely octopus, o the clock-tick seeping each neat one of us balanced and unbalanced and holy and constipated, o the bums lying in alleys of misery in a golden world, o the children to become ugly, o the ugly to become uglier, o the sadness and sabres and the closing of the walls- no Santa Claus, no pussy, no Magic Wand, no Cinderella, no Great Minds ever; kukoo- just shit and the whipping of dogs and children, just shit and the wiping away of shit, just doctors without patients, just clouds without rain, just days without days, o god o mighty that you put this upon us…

When we break into your mighty palace and timecard angels, I want to hear Your voice just saying once

MERCY

MERCY

MERCY

FOR YOURSELF and for us and for what we will do to You. I turned off Irola until I hit Normandie, that’s what I did, and then came in and sat and listened to the telephone ring.”

Charles Bukowski

_______

Fan-FUCKING-tactic!….now they’ve got “laptop bombs.” What the hell will they come up with next, “smartphone bombs?!” Or maybe “toilet seat bombs?!” We won’t be able to go anywhere, won’t be able to communicate from the air, and we won’t even be able to take a shit at the airport in peace without worrying about getting our asses blown off…

_____

“Generals gathered in their masses,

Just like witches at black masses.

Evil minds that plot destruction,

Sorcerers of death’s construction.

In the fields the bodies burning,

As the war machine keeps turning.

Death and hatred to mankind,

Poisoning their brainwashed minds.

Politicians hide themselves away,

They only started the war.

Why should they go out to fight,

They leave that role to the poor.”

Black Sabbath

_______

“I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea.

To care only for well-being seems to me positively ill-bred. Whether it’s good or bad, it is sometimes very pleasant, too, to smash things.”

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

_______

“AGAINST THE RUIN OF THE WORLD, THERE IS ONLY ONE DEFENSE: THE CREATIVE ACT.”

Kenneth Rexroth

_______

“The creation of art is a solitary pursuit.”

Yayoi Kusama

_______

“Everyone’s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there’s really an easy way: Stop participating in it.”

“Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.”

Noam Chomsky

________

“A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.”

“You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.”

Saul Bellow

________

“I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.”

“I have nothing to say and I am saying it and that is poetry as I need it.”

“The world is teeming: anything can happen.”

John Cage

________

“If you do not hope, you will never stumble upon the unhoped for, which is sealed off and impenetrable.”

Heraclitus

_______

JUNKYARD OF THE SOUL

by THB3

Way out there

on the edge of town

where some of us dwell

in trash and squalor

there lies a melancholy silence

 

Where tires burn

and metal is crushed

and toxic smoke floats

in billowing clouds

inspiration rises from the ashes

 

Rusted old cars that will carry no passengers

bikes never to be ridden again

refrigerators that will hold no more food

burned-out appliances to be used nevermore

within all these things there lie dark secrets of a meaningless eternity

 

The old metal shack

the junkyard dog

the coyotes at the fringes

the crows

the endless expanse

 

To dwell in this place

is to lead an inward life

of reflection and relentless imagination

to escape everyday in inventive new ways

to free yourself from the shackles of the ordinary

 

The white hot eye of the sun

the old newspapers and trash

blowing aimlessly across this hopeless desolation

even emptiness serves a purpose

in nothing, one can find the essence of existence…

 

 

Tom Henry Brooks 3

Tokyo, Japan

April 19th, 2017

________

“The gods looked down from their mountain and shrugged.”

Paul Auster

“4 3 2 1”

* * * >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

DARK DAYS ARE UPON US…STREET JOURNAL 88 BY THB3

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Really, what’s the point in anything when we just insist upon continually chipping away at the foundation…?

____

“Well, I want to get the fuck off this planet, but they made me take a number.”

“We quit social media and we`d like to get as far from the internet as possible…”

South Park
(after the election of Donald Trump as President of the United States)

____

FUCK ART,
LET`S DANCE
____

“Only the dead have seen the end of war.”

Plato
____

“In order for there to be a mirror of the world, it is necessary for the world to have a form.”

Umberto Eco
The Name of the Rose
_____

“Some books are dangerous, not to be opened with impunity…”

Arturo Perez-Reverte
The Club Dumas
_____

“Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams

For when dreams go

Life is a barren field

Frozen with snow.”

Langston Hughes
_____
“From this distant vantage point, the Earth might not seem of any particular interest. But for us, it’s different. Consider again that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us.

On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives.

The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every ‘superstar,’ every ‘supreme leader,’ every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner.

How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.

Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark.

In our obscurity – in all this vastness – there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known, so far, to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate.

Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment, the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world.

To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”

🌎

Carl Sagan

Why does it seem that no one

listens to words as wise as these?

______

THE HORIZON IS TANTALIZING IN BOTH ITS UNCERTAINTY AND ITS POTENTIAL …
______

Where do you run when the
earth becomes your enemy?
______

When all logical solutions fail, try an illogical one…

______

It’s Saturday, April 1, 2017. After the rains had stopped, I found myself standing on the Sumida-Gawa River Terrace looking out at the gray, leaden water, turbulent waves splashing off the levee. Light clouds passed across the sky and white seagulls wheeled all around me. The city of Tokyo surrounded me with its endless madness. For a moment I watched the boats passing by and the towers that surrounded me and the world seemed peaceful and good for a moment. It is moments like this that make life worth living … it’s the little things, you see, those precious occasions when it all seems to come together, to have some semblance of meaning, however elusive that may be…
________

THB3

Tokyo, Japan
4/1/17